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Zipperelli. posted:~snip~ horse emoji I am worried by how much this person seems to know about how to "properly" stimulate a horse.
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Sep 30, 2017 06:49
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Zipperelli. posted:Horse masturbation techniques aren't the same kinds of techniques as, say, just a guy jerking off or receiving a blowjob. They have very specific stimulation requirements. Generally️ speaking️, it's not possible for people to stimulate a horse in the correct manner. In the videos you've seen of women "giving a horse a blowjob" the horses aren't being fully stimulated properly. Their cock heads aren't flaring, and, in most cases, their cocks are kind of malleable and can be moved around️ and stuff. This is because the stimulation requirements for getting their cocks out of their sheaths is vastly less than actual ejaculation. In all of those videos, those people are just️ playing with flaccid horse dick more or less. The "cum" you see in those videos is usually a watered down yogurt that is put in their mouths in a camera transition and held there until they spit it out. The easiest way️ to actually make a horse cum is to use a handheld artificial vagina, without the semen collection️ device attached to the end. In order to use those in most cases though, the horse has to be willing to "mount" the device, and begin the bucking and humping on their own. This is usually achieved️ by spreading estrus pheromones around️, gaining the horse's attention️, and having them mount a sawhorse or fence or something where the positioning makes them believe that they are actually on top of a Mare. Then at that point they are attempting to shove their, very erect, cocks into a Mare's vagina, but there is no Mare present. If the person with the artificial vagina isn't fast enough to get it around️ the horse's cock, after about 15-30 seconds️ of attempted mounting the horse will try to give up and reevaluate the situation. When a mount is successful️ though, actual copulation only lasts️ about 15 seconds️, and is VERY intense, thusly why the bucking and humping is a key component for their ejaculation. Not gonna lie, now I'm perversely interested in the camera and special effect tricks of bestiality porn movies. Very interesting. Also why did you change your name, Saddest Rhino?
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Sep 30, 2017 06:59
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I'm reminded about the time my dumbshit dog breeder aunt came to a family reunion with three of her dogs, one of them in heat, and then a fourth stud dog that was on loan from someone. The bitch was generally not interested in the stud, so he kept trying and failing to mount her, and then we all got a really great dinner time discussion about how if the stud continued to fail. my aunt would have to jerk him off and then turkey baster the bitch, because she'd spent a lot of money on this stud service. Wonderful dinner conversation. The dog in heat was far more interested in humping one of the other female dogs, actually, and my uncle went on at length about how this was absolutely not gay, it was only dominance. Just dominance, no homo. No dog of his would be gay, dogs aren't gay, don't be ridiculous, don't you dare even suggest that! Pretty sure their dog was gay.
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Sep 30, 2017 07:05
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RareAcumen posted:Not entirely a social media post but still what kind of moron makes this? I loving hate these things. Go to any YouTube video with the Dark Knight Joker and you’ll find a multitude of comments splerging on about the genius of the Joker and he’s completely right and the end of The Dark Knight (the whole boat thing) in no way contradicts his geniusness. I feel that Joker comic from 2008 that includes a scene of him breaking in to an elderly couple and kills them with a razor because “who cares” is an answer to the fanboyism the Joker got at the time.
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Sep 30, 2017 09:39
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dovetaile posted:I am worried by how much this person seems to know about how to "properly" stimulate a horse. While they're putting the knowledge to... interesting use, they're probably just a rancher or someone who's ever talked to a horse rancher about horse breeding.
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Sep 30, 2017 11:21
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toanoradian posted:Not gonna lie, now I'm perversely interested in the camera and special effect tricks of bestiality porn movies. Very interesting. Lol, I'm not SaddestRhino, just saw that dumb poo poo on Reddit, originally posted unironically without the emojis
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Sep 30, 2017 13:36
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Sep 30, 2017 16:18
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Poor old NFL, thought of flags and died
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Sep 30, 2017 16:34
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Inshallah
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Sep 30, 2017 16:38
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Zelder posted:Poor old NFL, thought of flags and died though the formula is a little tired, I got a good chuckle out of this.
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Sep 30, 2017 17:41
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https://twitter.com/bloodless_coup/status/914099188937478145 https://twitter.com/bloodless_coup/status/914123331842002944 https://twitter.com/bloodless_coup/status/914100472394416128 these people...have...brain worms...
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Sep 30, 2017 18:28
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This lady is thirsty as hell
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Sep 30, 2017 18:32
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Sep 30, 2017 18:35
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Zipperelli. posted:Horse🐴 masturbation👊💦💦 techniques🥋🤹 aren't🙅 the same♊ kinds of techniques🥋🤹 as, say🗣️, just⚖️ a guy👨 jerking off👊💦 or receiving📫 a blowjob🌬️🍆. They have very specific📍 stimulation💡💆 requirements📜. Generally🎖️ speaking🗣️, it's not🙅 possible🔮 for people👪 to stimulate💆💡 a horse🐎 in the correct✔️ manner🙇. In the videos📺 you've seen👁️ of women👩 "giving🎁 a horse🐴 a blowjob🌬️🍆" the horses🐴 aren't🙅 being fully💯 stimulated💡 properly🎩. Their cock🐓🍆 heads👨 aren't🙅 flaring✨, and, in most cases💼, their cocks🐓🍆 are kind of malleable🥀🐍 and can👌 be moved🚚 around↩️ and stuff. This is because the stimulation💡💆 requirements📜 for getting their cocks🐓🍆 out of their sheaths🗡️👛 is vastly🌊 less than actual ejaculation🍆💦💦. In all of those videos📼, those people👪 are just⚖️ playing🤡⚽ with flaccid🥀 horse🐴 dick🍆 more or less. The "cum"💦💦 you see👁️ in those videos📹 is usually a watered💧 down⬇️ yogurt🥛🥄 that is put⛳ in their mouths👄🤤 in a camera🎥 transition💊🏳️🌈 and held📎 there until they spit🤤💦 it out. The easiest👶 way🛣️ to actually make🎨 a horse🏇 cum💦💦 is to use a handheld✋👫 artificial🤖 vagina🌮, without🙅 the semen🥛💦 collection⚗️ device🔬 attached📎 to the end. In order📦 to use those in most cases💼 though, the horse🐴 has to be willing👌🙋 to "mount"🗻 the device🔬, and begin🎬 the bucking🦌💸 and humping🐫🐪 on their own. This is usually achieved💯✔️ by spreading⚱️ estrus🤰🍑 pheromones🌹👃💞 around↩️, gaining the horse's🐎 attention🛎️⚠️, and having them mount🗻 a sawhorse🚧🐎 or fence🚧 or something where the positioning📍 makes🎨 them believe☸️✡️☪️✝️ that they are actually on top🎩🎪 of a Mare🐴🤰. Then at that point☝️📌 they are attempting🙋 to shove👐 their, very erect🗼🏢, cocks🐓🍆 into a Mare's🐴🤰 vagina🌮🍑, but there is no🙅 Mare🐴🤰 present🎁. If the person👨 with the artificial🤖 vagina🌮🍑 isn't❌ fast💨 enough to get it around↩️ the horse's🐴 cock🐓🍆, after about🤷 15-30 seconds⏱️ of attempted🙋 mounting🗻 the horse🐴 will try🙋 to give🎁 up⬆️ and reevaluate🤔⁉️ the situation💹. When a mount🗻 is successful💯✔️ though, actual copulation🍑💑🍆 only lasts⏱️ about🤷 15 seconds⏱️, and is VERY intense🎆🌟💥, thusly why the bucking🦌💸 and humping🐫🐪 is a key🔑 component⚙️🔌 for their ejaculation💦💦💦. Now replace them all with the clapping hands emoji.
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Sep 30, 2017 23:22
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Sep 30, 2017 23:45
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That's, what, peak Libertarian? "Bootstrap yourself, rely on the local free market"
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Sep 30, 2017 23:49
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The only way out of this one appears to be society finding its general preponderance toward sacrificing on its own behalf toward the greater good in time of crisis In other words strap in for human shittiness on a scale not witnessed in any of our lifetimes
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Sep 30, 2017 23:56
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Use your insurance to eat and have shelter now that your house sdoesnt exist. Lazy. Insurance comes in and hands you food and a new house a few hours after disasters right?
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Sep 30, 2017 23:59
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 Almost got him with the classic Vietnamese-Cambodian gambit
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Oct 1, 2017 00:23
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Puerto Rican Cambodian Vietnamese African European Scottish Floridian (living in the US) here, what an amateur.
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Oct 1, 2017 03:08
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Zipperelli. posted:Horse🐴 masturbation👊💦💦 techniques🥋🤹 aren't🙅 the same♊ kinds of techniques🥋🤹 as, say🗣️, just⚖️ a guy👨 jerking off👊💦 or receiving📫 a blowjob🌬️🍆. They have very specific📍 stimulation💡💆 requirements📜. Generally🎖️ speaking🗣️, it's not🙅 possible🔮 for people👪 to stimulate💆💡 a horse🐎 in the correct✔️ manner🙇. In the videos📺 you've seen👁️ of women👩 "giving🎁 a horse🐴 a blowjob🌬️🍆" the horses🐴 aren't🙅 being fully💯 stimulated💡 properly🎩. Their cock🐓🍆 heads👨 aren't🙅 flaring✨, and, in most cases💼, their cocks🐓🍆 are kind of malleable🥀🐍 and can👌 be moved🚚 around↩️ and stuff. This is because the stimulation💡💆 requirements📜 for getting their cocks🐓🍆 out of their sheaths🗡️👛 is vastly🌊 less than actual ejaculation🍆💦💦. In all of those videos📼, those people👪 are just⚖️ playing🤡⚽ with flaccid🥀 horse🐴 dick🍆 more or less. The "cum"💦💦 you see👁️ in those videos📹 is usually a watered💧 down⬇️ yogurt🥛🥄 that is put⛳ in their mouths👄🤤 in a camera🎥 transition💊🏳️🌈 and held📎 there until they spit🤤💦 it out. The easiest👶 way🛣️ to actually make🎨 a horse🏇 cum💦💦 is to use a handheld✋👫 artificial🤖 vagina🌮, without🙅 the semen🥛💦 collection⚗️ device🔬 attached📎 to the end. In order📦 to use those in most cases💼 though, the horse🐴 has to be willing👌🙋 to "mount"🗻 the device🔬, and begin🎬 the bucking🦌💸 and humping🐫🐪 on their own. This is usually achieved💯✔️ by spreading⚱️ estrus🤰🍑 pheromones🌹👃💞 around↩️, gaining the horse's🐎 attention🛎️⚠️, and having them mount🗻 a sawhorse🚧🐎 or fence🚧 or something where the positioning📍 makes🎨 them believe☸️✡️☪️✝️ that they are actually on top🎩🎪 of a Mare🐴🤰. Then at that point☝️📌 they are attempting🙋 to shove👐 their, very erect🗼🏢, cocks🐓🍆 into a Mare's🐴🤰 vagina🌮🍑, but there is no🙅 Mare🐴🤰 present🎁. If the person👨 with the artificial🤖 vagina🌮🍑 isn't❌ fast💨 enough to get it around↩️ the horse's🐴 cock🐓🍆, after about🤷 15-30 seconds⏱️ of attempted🙋 mounting🗻 the horse🐴 will try🙋 to give🎁 up⬆️ and reevaluate🤔⁉️ the situation💹. When a mount🗻 is successful💯✔️ though, actual copulation🍑💑🍆 only lasts⏱️ about🤷 15 seconds⏱️, and is VERY intense🎆🌟💥, thusly why the bucking🦌💸 and humping🐫🐪 is a key🔑 component⚙️🔌 for their ejaculation💦💦💦. To 💦 be 🐝 fair, 👒 you 👈 have 👏 to 💦 have 👏 a 👌 very 👌 high 🕛 IQ to 💦 understand 📚 Rick and 👏 Morty. 👏 The 👏 humour is 💦 extremely 💯 subtle, 🙈 and 👏 without 🚫 a 👌 solid grasp of 💦 theoretical physics most 💯 of 💦 the 👏 jokes 😂 will 👏 go 🏃 over 👏 a 👌 typical viewers head. 💆 There's 👎 also 👨 Rick's nihilistic outlook, which 👏 is 💦 deftly woven into 👉 his 💦 characterisation- his 💦 personal philosophy draws heavily from 👉 Narodnaya Volya literature, for 🍆 instance. The 👏 fans understand 📚 this 👈 stuff; 🔝 they 👥 have 👏 the 👏 intellectual 🎩 capacity to 💦 truly 👶 appreciate 👌 the 👏 depths of 💦 these 👈 jokes, 😂 to 💦 realise that 😐 they're 👨 not 🚫 just 👏 funny- 😄 they 👥 say 🗣 something 😅 deep 😱 about 💦 LIFE. 👤 As 🍑 a 👌 consequence people 👨 who 😂 dislike Rick & Morty 👏 truly 👶 ARE 🔢 idiots- of 💦 course 🏎 they 👥 wouldn't 😩 appreciate, 👌 for 🍆 instance, the 👏 humour in 👏 Rick's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which 👏 itself 🚝 is 💦 a 👌 cryptic reference to 💦 Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and 👏 Sons. I'm 💘 smirking right 👌 now 👋 just 👏 imagining one 😤 of 💦 those 🐥 addlepated simpletons scratching their 🍆 heads 🗣 in 👏 confusion as 🍑 Dan Harmon's genius wit 🌈 unfolds itself 🚝 on 🔛 their 🍆 television 📺 screens. What 😦 fools.. 😩 how 💯 I 👁 pity 😭 them. 💦🅱️
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Oct 1, 2017 06:06
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I have seen art.
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Oct 1, 2017 06:09
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The Saddest Rhino posted:To 💦 be 🐝 fair, 👒 you 👈 have 👏 to 💦 have 👏 a 👌 very 👌 high 🕛 IQ to 💦 understand 📚 Rick and 👏 Morty. 👏 The 👏 humour is 💦 extremely 💯 subtle, 🙈 and 👏 without 🚫 a 👌 solid grasp of 💦 theoretical physics most 💯 of 💦 the 👏 jokes 😂 will 👏 go 🏃 over 👏 a 👌 typical viewers head. 💆 There's 👎 also 👨 Rick's nihilistic outlook, which 👏 is 💦 deftly woven into 👉 his 💦 characterisation- his 💦 personal philosophy draws heavily from 👉 Narodnaya Volya literature, for 🍆 instance. The 👏 fans understand 📚 this 👈 stuff; 🔝 they 👥 have 👏 the 👏 intellectual 🎩 capacity to 💦 truly 👶 appreciate 👌 the 👏 depths of 💦 these 👈 jokes, 😂 to 💦 realise that 😐 they're 👨 not 🚫 just 👏 funny- 😄 they 👥 say 🗣 something 😅 deep 😱 about 💦 LIFE. 👤 As 🍑 a 👌 consequence people 👨 who 😂 dislike Rick & Morty 👏 truly 👶 ARE 🔢 idiots- of 💦 course 🏎 they 👥 wouldn't 😩 appreciate, 👌 for 🍆 instance, the 👏 humour in 👏 Rick's existential catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which 👏 itself 🚝 is 💦 a 👌 cryptic reference to 💦 Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and 👏 Sons. I'm 💘 smirking right 👌 now 👋 just 👏 imagining one 😤 of 💦 those 🐥 addlepated simpletons scratching their 🍆 heads 🗣 in 👏 confusion as 🍑 Dan Harmon's genius wit 🌈 unfolds itself 🚝 on 🔛 their 🍆 television 📺 screens. What 😦 fools.. 😩 how 💯 I 👁 pity 😭 them. 💦🅱️ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6H1S42ifrc
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Oct 1, 2017 06:21
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zoux posted:
What got me about that one is the guy trying to paint a picture of Puerto Ricans as self identified non-Americans.
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Oct 1, 2017 09:18
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Oh gently caress, I didn't catch that. I gave that guy a benefit of a doubt and thought he meant "mainland" when he said "US". gently caress that guy even more.
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Oct 1, 2017 09:32
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another unironic share from the forty-three-year-old grandmother of two: Unlike "Laughapalooza," "Giggle Palooza" is completely in earnest:    
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Oct 1, 2017 12:10
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I don't get it. toanoradian has a new favorite as of 16:40 on Oct 1, 2017 |
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Oct 1, 2017 16:27
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Jeezuhs
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Oct 1, 2017 16:33
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quote:I don't get it. https://twitter.com/nintendwoah/status/913815360616456192
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Oct 1, 2017 16:33
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toanoradian posted:I don't get it. A common saying in Christianity is that "every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord".
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Oct 1, 2017 16:49
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F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:A common saying in Christianity is that "every knee shall bow, every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord". I thought Jesus dad was the lord and Jesus was just the exchange student that had a little accident while visiting our planet.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:12
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Dejawesp posted:I thought Jesus dad was the lord and Jesus was just the exchange student that had a little accident while visiting our planet. My man have you heard of the trinity? If not don't worry about it, if you don't learn about it as a kid it doesn't make sense.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:14
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Hell, I'm a Protestant and even I don't really understand the Trinity. Non-Protestants have said that it's like believing in three gods, and I can't deny that they have a definite point.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:18
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Facebook Aunt posted:My man have you heard of the trinity? If not don't worry about it, if you don't learn about it as a kid it doesn't make sense. Even if you do it still doesn't make sense.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:24
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The Trinity is a cobbled-together mass built up over about 600 years of arguing churchmen. And then despite constant condemnation, everybody defaults to Gnosticism anyway.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:26
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Facebook Aunt posted:My man have you heard of the trinity? If not don't worry about it, if you don't learn about it as a kid it doesn't make sense. The best explanation I've heard was God is water. Water can be in three separate states with different characteristics, Liquid, Solid, and Gas, but its still all fundamentally water. The Trinity isn't any more complex than Zeus shapeshifting to pork someone as golden rain. Its just that no one bothered to worship Rain-Zeus separately from Man-Zeus.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:28
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F_Shit_Fitzgerald posted:Hell, I'm a Protestant and even I don't really understand the Trinity. Non-Protestants have said that it's like believing in three gods, and I can't deny that they have a definite point. I don’t know, it’s never really bothered me. God being three beings at once doesn’t seem beyond the pale when you’re talking about a being that created the universe. That said, I gather that every time someone comes up with an explanation as to how it works, they get declared a heretic. Best to shrug and say “I don’t know, it’s God, He can do what He wants.”
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Oct 1, 2017 17:30
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Dienes posted:The best explanation I've heard was God is water. Water can be in three separate states with different characteristics, Liquid, Solid, and Gas, but its still all fundamentally water. Zeus was never Rain-, Swan-, and Man-Zeus all at the same time while simultaneously being one singular Zeus and three separate Zeus's.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:30
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Why didn't more people get into Norse mythology? One of few religions that makes sense. Why does bad things happen to good people? Because the realm of the gods is a giant frat house that's why.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:34
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| # ? May 26, 2024 10:36 |
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This lays out the confusing Trinity stuff fairly well. Warning: this guy is a dick, don’t follow him, but this one video is pretty good. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p8yuDXJB9BI I’ve heard it suggested that the Trinity doctrine was created just to catch people in heresy. Someone’s causing trouble for the church? Stand him up before an inquisition, drill him about the Trinity, and sooner or later he’ll say something wrong and you can excommunicate him. Dejawesp posted:Why didn't more people get into Norse mythology? One of few religions that makes sense. Why does bad things happen to good people? Because the realm of the gods is a giant frat house that's why. People like hope in their religion, and that one doesn’t end very well.
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Oct 1, 2017 17:35
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