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I used to fantasize about eventually meeting up again and marrying a short-term "girlfriend" from when I was around that age, and we did actually meet again when we were in our late 20s. Turns out we are both entirely different people than we were (as one would hope) and had no romantic connection anymore. Also she was dating someone else, as this girl almost assuredly is. Stop acting like a teenager, life isn't a romantic comedy movie.
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Oct 5, 2017 18:00
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Theophany posted:Holy poo poo that Bruise Cruise confession was just what I needed to read this morning. Amazing. I probably would have reacted to it better if I'd read it after having my coffee yeah
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Oct 5, 2017 18:09
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There was this girl that I went to grade school with and we ran into each other at a bar like 15 years later. I mentioned that I had a crush on her in 5th grade and she gave me a blowjob in the mens room while her husband and my friends were playing pool. I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe your wife just needs to blow some dude in a mens room while you play pool, Bruise Cruise goon. Pool is a fun way to learn geometry!
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Oct 5, 2017 18:11
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Did they advertise Hulk Hogan meat shoes on that bruise cruise?
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Oct 5, 2017 18:30
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It took me 2 weeks of slacking at work but I just finished reading every single post in this loving thread from the beginning jesus loving christ
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Oct 5, 2017 18:51
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I used to fantasize about eventually meeting up again and marrying a short-term "girlfriend" from when I was around that age, and we did actually meet again when we were in our late 20s. Turns out we are both entirely different people than we were (as one would hope) and had no romantic connection anymore. Also she was dating someone else, as this girl almost assuredly is. Stop acting like a teenager, life isn't a romantic comedy movie. It was a girl at the pool and we "dated" for 3 weeks talked on the phone every day then never again. Thinking back to that why don't I leave my wife if I see her again, cause gently caress that was the best 3 weeks of my life
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Oct 5, 2017 18:55
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gbs but from 2004 posted:It took me 2 weeks of slacking at work but I just finished reading every single post in this loving thread from the beginning jesus loving christ 
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Oct 5, 2017 19:11
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Unsure about whether to gently caress therapist or not
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Oct 5, 2017 19:12
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gbs but from 2004 posted:Unsure about whether to gently caress therapist or not *shakes magic 8-ball* looks like... DON'T
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Oct 5, 2017 19:13
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But feel free to gently caress your cousin. Assuming they're consenting of course.
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Oct 5, 2017 20:05
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What if my cousin is the therapist???
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Oct 5, 2017 21:43
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[quote="“gbs but from 2004”" post="“477090303”"] What if my cousin is the therapist??? [/quote] Forbidden fruit...
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Oct 5, 2017 21:45
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gbs but from 2004 posted:What if my cousin is the therapist??? Then you basically have to gently caress her/him. It's the law.
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Oct 5, 2017 21:46
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Solice Kirsk posted:Then you basically have to gently caress her/him. It's the law. What if it is your INlaw? Does it still count? half coke half diet fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Oct 5, 2017 |
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Oct 5, 2017 21:49
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[quote="“shut up blegum”" post="“477081589”"] How do you crash a Bentley in London and still have time to fly half way around the world before pictures/movies of the crash get posted on 8.000 different Facebook groups? [/quote] Supercar Summer is a wonderful thing. The meeting of a shitload of cars with a total lack of talent. 
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Oct 5, 2017 21:50
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Solice Kirsk posted:Then you basically have to gently caress her/him. It's the law. I guess if I'm going to therapy for being an incel then loving Therapy-Cousin IS the therapy! Thanks GBS!
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Oct 5, 2017 22:34
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Bruise Cruises are just conspiring places for reptilian humanoids.
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Oct 5, 2017 22:40
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Bruise cruise goon: It's natural to romanticize an early infatuation, particularly one that wasn't able to run its course, and wishing for a time machine to be able to go back and change previous events in your life in a way you imagine would make you happier is a pretty common response. It's really important to remember though (for the sake of your mental health and your current real life marriage): this is absolutely not how time travel works. Being able to move in multiple directions through time does not change its linearity or the nature of causality. The fact we can walk east to west doesn't change where magnetic north is and this is no different. If a time machine is invented and you can travel back, you will fail to keep the address. Not because of magic or self correcting universe theory bullshit or anything else that stupid, simply because you were already there at the time. Stop living in a James Cameron fueled fantasy world and face up to reality, even if you go back nothing changes. Go and hug your wife, idiot.
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Oct 5, 2017 23:16
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Debt goon has it made in the shade if all he has is a shitton of unsecured debt. Declare bankruptcy and pay for poo poo with cash for seven years mang. Debt bondage is for suckers who went to college.
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Oct 6, 2017 02:03
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This thread had me legit look up WCW Bruise Cruise. Apparently it was real I guess?
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Oct 6, 2017 03:31
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facebook jihad posted:This thread had me legit look up WCW Bruise Cruise. Apparently it was real I guess? It was real to him, dammit.
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Oct 6, 2017 06:34
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People blame titty video games and anime for ruining young men's ideas of relationships, but it's got nothing on what sitcoms and romantic comedies have to answer for.
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Oct 6, 2017 08:03
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whiter than a Wilco show posted:Bruise cruise goon: lol at offering life advice based on theories of time travel and causality
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Oct 6, 2017 08:36
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HJE-Cobra posted:lol at offering life advice based on theories of time travel and causality 
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Oct 6, 2017 08:48
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whiter than a Wilco show posted:Bruise cruise goon: This will probably shock and surprise you but I'd probably time travel back to GBS in 2004 
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Oct 6, 2017 10:46
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Or he can start perving on 12 year olds looking kinda like his childhood crush, that works too.
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Oct 6, 2017 11:14
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Based on what we were told, I actually think its likely that the Bruise Cruise goon travelled back in time and destroyed the address himself. Probably to prevent him from having a relationship with that girl. Or prevent the nuclear annihilation of the world. Whatever
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Oct 6, 2017 12:56
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Stickfigure posted:Or he can start perving on 12 year olds looking kinda like his childhood crush, that works too. Mod parachute account spotted. Also the causality time travel advice is so mid 20th century. What we, as modern educated gunes, know currently is that going back in time WOULD enable a version of you to marry this wrassling gal, but it wouldn't be you. An alternate you would be in wedded bliss but THIS you would still be living in your basement married to a shrew with many metres of debt. You would stare at the faded Alex Luger poster, eating tins of pastamania and shedding salty impotent tears of denied yearning. The true solution is to still go back in time and find the letter but afterwards travel to each of these branching realities and kill the alternate you until only the true you remains. With each death you absorb their life force and power to become the super Sayan you. The ubergoon. Worked for the American president at least. You know this is your golden path goon. Of course... who am I? Am I another you? DogsInSpace! fucked around with this message at 13:14 on Oct 6, 2017 |
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Oct 6, 2017 13:07
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quote:I had a heart attack almost 2 years ago. It was mostly due to stress from my job; I was working 12 hour days, traveling at least a week a month, and things were stressful. You realize of course you are discussing a lifestyle that literally gave you a heart attack I dunno man, if you hate your job you should find a new one, just try not to get one that will actually kill you. Regarding the casual-sex part, the healthiest thing to do here would probably be to look back fondly on your Glory Days and move on with your life as an adult trying not to die of cardiac arrest. quote:So, yeah. I'm a gay guy, and I'm a pedophile. I'm physically, sexually and emotionally attracted to boys. I'm also attracted to men, but not anywhere near as much. I'm not, like, a molest-y pedo or anything - I'd never hurt anyone, much less a little boy. I'm more worried about people finding out about me, to be honest. I don't think I'd complain this much if I were you Not molesting any children is a good start to you dealing with your problems, but stop whining about it and stop hanging out with kids you want to gently caress. I suspect that deep down you don't really see this as an issue, or otherwise you'd have sought help already. Which I'd advise you to do. You need it for other reasons anyway; with therapy and possibly medication you can not only deal with your anxiety issues but maybe one day have a healthy adult relationship with a healthy adult. I don't know anything about mandatory reporting either but I'm pretty sure they're not gonna call the cops on you if you haven't committed a crime.
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Oct 6, 2017 13:17
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The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS: You Should Be Imprisoned If You Link to Facebook > Anonymous Confessions: I'm not, like, a molest-y pedo or anything
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Oct 6, 2017 13:25
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Gentle reminder that the stigma associated with seeking mental help contributes to children in danger. PedoGoon, SEEK HELP! There are solutions for you and they only require some more attention. LoL stress goon: you don't miss your job, you miss partying at work all the time. Grow up and treat your wife better or alternatively  because if you resent her for making you not die of a heart attack, you're probably not receptive to her needs.
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Oct 6, 2017 13:27
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Do drugs until you find your wife attractive. Easy.
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Oct 6, 2017 14:04
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Heart attack goon: You never mentioned what the genders were of the people you partied with. Could it be you are actually gay and miss the casual no-strings attached gay sex? You also don't need to party to do drugs. 420 smoke weed erry day son.
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Oct 6, 2017 14:11
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Danaru posted:The Something Awful Forums > Main > GBS: You Should Be Imprisoned If You Link to Facebook > Anonymous Confessions: I'm not, like, a molest-y pedo or anything ^^ Alpha Male Goon: You had a heart attack cause you were treating your body like a loving shooting range. You miss it cause you can't find the same rush, so try and find another high to replace it. I suggest needlepoint or basketweaving
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Oct 6, 2017 14:35
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limp_cheese posted:Heart attack goon: You never mentioned what the genders were of the people you partied with. Could it be you are actually gay and miss the casual no-strings attached gay sex? You also don't need to party to do drugs. 420 smoke weed erry day son. He said there were "girls" in the "cool kids group"; my assumption was it was 2 girls and 2 guys So maybe part of it is that he's bi, but he specifically mentioned those women as the part he missed most so that's not all of it
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Oct 6, 2017 14:42
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i just want to stress, and i'm very serious about this, that the drug-fueled benders of deep kissing and full penetration are not cheating in any sense
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Oct 6, 2017 14:53
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This thread gives me anxiety.
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Oct 6, 2017 15:43
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PEDO GOON: If you're that worried about what you can and can't say to a therapist, and you're in the United States, go talk to a local criminal law attorney about it. Pay them a small amount to advise you on what the reporting mandates and issues are related to therapy. I think some jurisdictions allow reporting where there is imminent danger to other people, but don't actually mandate it, but again I don't know for sure. I don't know jack poo poo about therapy and reporting requirements, where you live, or anything else, but I do know a local criminal attorney is legally bound not to disclose the subject of your inquiries to them as long as its in connection with representation Do this now, and go get help before you end up a mugshot on the news.
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Oct 6, 2017 17:04
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blarzgh posted:PEDO GOON: If you're that worried about what you can and can't say to a therapist, and you're in the United States, go talk to a local criminal law attorney about it. Pay them a small amount to advise you on what the reporting mandates and issues are related to therapy. I think some jurisdictions allow reporting where there is imminent danger to other people, but don't actually mandate it, but again I don't know for sure. I don't know jack poo poo about therapy and reporting requirements, where you live, or anything else, but I do know a local criminal attorney is legally bound not to disclose the subject of your inquiries to them as long as its in connection with representation He could even end up as a moderator! 
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Oct 6, 2017 17:13
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blarzgh posted:PEDO GOON: If you're that worried about what you can and can't say to a therapist, and you're in the United States, go talk to a local criminal law attorney about it. Pay them a small amount to advise you on what the reporting mandates and issues are related to therapy. I think some jurisdictions allow reporting where there is imminent danger to other people, but don't actually mandate it, but again I don't know for sure. I don't know jack poo poo about therapy and reporting requirements, where you live, or anything else, but I do know a local criminal attorney is legally bound not to disclose the subject of your inquiries to them as long as its in connection with representation I know state-by-state mandatory reporting AND ages of consent regulations.  (I don't really, I don't even live in the US).
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Oct 6, 2017 18:11
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