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What is going to be your favorite offseason storyline?
This poll is closed.
The Big3 Tourney 67 22.41%
Will Lakers draft Ball 40 13.38%
Where will the Pauls go 54 18.06%
Will LeBron jump ship to the Spurs or ?? 41 13.71%
Will every team in the league just pivot towards tanking 97 32.44%
Total: 210 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

 
  • Locked thread
zoux
Apr 28, 2006

I think one of the reasons basketball, and specifically NBA basketball is good is that unlike the other major American sports, the offense is successful more often than not. Scoring is a blast and no sport has more scoring than basketball. Additionally, compared to other sports at a pro level, you see more insane feats of athleticism in an NBA game than any other sport. Enjoying things like defense and strategy in any sport is a learned taste, you have to understand a bunch to get it, whether that be pitching duels, or suffocating NFL defenses or whatever.

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Lockback
Sep 3, 2006

All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

Since pre-season stats are thrown away and don't count, it still hasn't happened!


This is also pretty good. I'd say the NBA is moving away from positions and more toward roles. Usually you need at least 2-3 guys who can stretch the floor, 2 guys who can handle the ball, a couple rebounders, a guy or two who can score in isolation if needed, rim protectors, wing defenders, etc. One guy can fill multiple roles, which is why guys like Lebron, Durant, Draymond Green, etc are so valuable in today's NBA.

Your description of the positions actually covers the roles each position covers pretty well, with the caveat that you can swap those responsibilities around pretty easily in today's NBA.

RCarr
Dec 24, 2007

Brolander posted:

plays to learn:

pick and roll
give and go
shake and bake
grip and grin

Once you have those down, you can work on learning the more advanced plays:

Spinning and Winning
Posting and Toasting
Swishing and Dishing
Slicing and Dicing
Driving and Thriving
Stopping and Popping

As a matter of fact, just work on repeating these phrases out loud until they are second nature.

Cool Buff Man
Jul 30, 2006

bitch

zelah posted:

E: and you’re going to need to get really mad at referees too

Alternatively, don't, because that's the worst stuff to read in the GDT

morestuff
Aug 2, 2008

You can't stop what's coming
Who are the best-looking rookies so far? Kuzma, Mitchell, Jackson, Monk, DSJ? Hopefully we get a solid class after last year's wet fart

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

RCarr posted:

Once you have those down, you can work on learning the more advanced plays:

Spinning and Winning
Posting and Toasting
Swishing and Dishing
Slicing and Dicing
Driving and Thriving
Stopping and Popping

As a matter of fact, just work on repeating these phrases out loud until they are second nature.

Also hand down man down is a boxing reference so don't look for meaning too deeply

Carlosologist
Oct 13, 2013

Revelry in the Dark

I've got Donovan Mitchell as the rookie PER leader in Zogo's poll, he looked good in summer league and preseason

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?


Hair Elf
In continuing the idea of a guide to the NBA, here is an incomplete guide to major stars and fun players in the league. This should be in no way considered comprehensive, this is just an overview of the most important and fun to watch dudes. This list is not in order, these are not the ranking, just the order I thought of dudes. Note, I'm going to use listed height since its official, buts its also largely bullshit, so some guys are shorter or taller than they are listed. Its just been like that forever.

LeBron James
SF/PF/PG, 6'8", Cleveland Cavaliers

The best player in the league. Like not even really a question right now. He can basically do anything and everything out there, drive, shoot, defend, pass, etc. Master of power and finesse. He has lead his team to finals for 7 straight years, a feat completely unrivaled in modern basketball. The entire Eastern Conference has more or less revolved around him for a decade. Has won 4 MVPs

Kevin Durant
SF/PF, 6'9", Golden State Warriors

Top 3 player in the NBA. Completely broke the NBA last year when he left the Oklahoma City Thunder to join the Warriors (who had won 73 games the previous season). His reputation has taken one hell of a beating since then, but he is still a beast. Great shooter and driver, he can do some of everything on the court. Due to his build, he can be out-muscled by stronger players, but generally has the speed to deal with it. This is a lot easier since he is playing with some of the greatest shooters of all-time. Has 1 MVP award

Steph Curry
PG, 6'3", Golden State Warriors

The best 3 point shooter of all-time. He is the engine that makes the Warriors work. He can shoot with reasonable accuracy from about 30 feet or inwards (the three point line is at about 22 feet from the basket for reference). Very good handles and passing have allowed him to overcome being being fairly unathletic and turned him into one of the most dangerous scorers in the NBA. Early in his career he had major trouble with ankle injuries. Shook. 2 time MVP, was the first ever unanimous MVP.

Russell Westbrook
PG, 6'3", Oklahoma City Thunder

One of the most explosive players in the NBA, just batshit athleticism. Last year, as the sole star left on the Thunder, he put up an absurd statline of 31.6 ppg, 10.7 rpg, and 10.4 apg, making him the second person to ever average a triple double over an entire season. Kind of divisive because he isn't the most efficient player in the NBA. His team got major upgrade this season, which I will probably cover later. Interesting sense of fashion. Constantly throwing shade at Kevin Durant for leaving.

James Harden
PG/SG, 6'5", Houston Rockets

A star player who had a crazy season last year under the new Rockets coach, Mike D'Antoni. Lead the league is assists last year while scoring almost 30 a game. A lot of people dislike him because a huge part of his game is based on drawing fouls and shooting free-throws which can slow down a game badly. Was the Runner up in MVP last season. Former teammate of both Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook.

Giannis Antetokounmpo
SF/PF, 6'11", Milwaukee Bucks

The Greek Freak. He entered the league as a raw player with crazy athleticism and wingspan, and has developed at an insane rate. One of the better defenders in the league due to his insane reach, he has always been becoming a better and better scorer. Insane dunks, crazy fun to watch, still super young. Part of the vanguard of the next generation of NBA stars

Joel Embiid
C, 7'0", Philadelphia 76ers

Joel Embiid is a interesting dude, when he is healthy, he has proven to be one of the best scorers in the game, with a crazy moveset that a 7 footer shouldn't be able to do. Learns like loving skynet. However, the health issue is a loving big deal, he is entering his 4th year in the NBA and has only played 31 games so far. If he can stay healthy, he will dominate the game at an insane level, but that is one hell of question. Has the best twitter game on earth.

Kyrie Irving
PG, 6'3", Boston Celtics

Very good young PG, great scorer and shooter, reasonable passer, bad defender, possibly crazy. Up until this season, he had played his entire career with the Cavs, but demanded a trade, and was sent to the Celitcs. Will probably try to play at a very high level this year to prove that he can be the main man on a contending team. Claimed the world was flat for 9 months, now he claims he was just trolling the entire time.

Karl Anthony Towns
C/PF, 7'0", Minnesota Timberwolves

A rising star, a center who can do everything. Great at scoring out of the post, great at shooting from distance, elite handles for a center, has the tools to become an elite defender. He is a man to watch, a likely future MVP.

Jimmy Butler
SG/SF, 6'7", Minnesota Timberwolves

A very, very good scorer who is also a very tenacious defender. Played his entire career with the Bulls, where he was often poo poo on by management. Was traded during the off-season to the Timberwolves, and is expected to carry the Wolves (along side Towns and Andrew Wiggins) to their first playoff appearance in ages. The kind of guy who is both underrated and overrated at once.

Anthony Davis
PF/C, 6'11", New Orleans Pelicans

One of the best big men in the game, with a lot of versatility. Very good in the pick and roll, good in the post, good at shooting, can play very good defense, but also out of position a lot. He is still a star, but the shine has worn off from him as his teams have continued to suck over recent years (generally do to significant injury issues to the entire team). Make no mistake, he is still a beast and can single handedly change games on his own. Ugly as gently caress

Demarcus Cousins
C, 6'11", New Orleans Pelicans

Another great big man who was forever trapped on a terrible team. Was traded towards the end of last season to the Pelicans. Great scorer, great shooter, inconsistent defender with great potential. Has a reputation for being an rear end in a top hat, though it is hard to say how accurate it is. Now paired up with Davis to make one of the best front courts in ages.

Kawhi Leonard
SF, 6'7", San Antonio Spurs

The current super star at the heart of the Spurs basketball machine. Was considered to be a future 3&D role player out of college, but has since developed into one of the top players in the league, even if he has an extremely boring game to watch. Great at the fundamental details, elite defender, all-around stud.

Kristaps Porzingis
PF/C, 7'3", New York Knicks

The hope of the Knicks. The Unicorn. A huge big man with great skills and shooting. Still trying to figure out his game and how to be effective in the league, but a future superstar. With Carmelo traded, he is now the clear #1 option on the Knicks and will be expected to carry the load. Should have a huge year.

Guys not mentioned, but you should know:
Klay Thompson, Warriors
Draymond Green, Warriors
Damien Lillard, Portland Trailblazers
Gordon Hayward, Boston Celtics
Nikola Jokic, Denver Nuggets
Demar Derozan, Toronto Raptors
Kyle Lowry, Toronto Raptors
Paul George, Oklahoma City Thunder
Isaiah Thomas, Cleveland Cavaliers
John Wall, Washington Wizards
Devin Booker, Phoenix Suns
Andrew Wiggins, Minnesota Timberwolves
Rudy Gobert, Utah Jazz
~~~Rick Rubio~~~, Utah Jazz

Former elite Players who might still matter:
Derrick Rose, Cavs
Dwyane Wade, Cavs
Carmelo Anthony, Thunder
Andre Iguodala, Warriors

The Glumslinger fucked around with this message at 19:28 on Oct 12, 2017

Dejan Bimble
Mar 24, 2008

we're all black friends
Plaster Town Cop
^ I'd add Nikola Jokic for crazy big man passing and post scoring, Ricky Rubio and Milos Teodosic for small man passing

The real joy of the NBA is developing an emotional attachment to a set of guys and reveling in their successes and feeling like a tipped over cow at their failures

Carlosologist posted:

I've got Donovan Mitchell as the rookie PER leader in Zogo's poll, he looked good in summer league and preseason

Can you link me, I can't find it

Dejan Bimble fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Oct 12, 2017

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Please add Rondo to the big stars list

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer
these breakdowns are all cool and good. and good timing too to get it all in right before the season starts.

kawhi's going to win the MVP this year. his game's not boring, glumslinger, you weirdo

espn has an article that says i'm right

http://www.espn.com/espn/feature/story/_/id/20982956/predicting-2017-18-nba-mvp

leftist heap
Feb 28, 2013

Fun Shoe

Cool Buff Man posted:

G/V actually stands for Goos and Views

this has been my headcanon ever since it changed.

RCarr
Dec 24, 2007

How do you leave the first digital athlete off that list?

leftist heap
Feb 28, 2013

Fun Shoe
a list of stars that doesn't include Dion Waiters smdh

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010
Kevin Durant is 7 feet tall

Carlosologist
Oct 13, 2013

Revelry in the Dark

Dejan Bimble posted:

^ I'd add Nikola Jokic for crazy big man passing and post scoring, Ricky Rubio and Milos Teodosic for small man passing

The real joy of the NBA is developing an emotional attachment to a set of guys and reveling in their successes and feeling like a tipped over cow at their failures


Can you link me, I can't find it

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe5jlRXMKx2syJOudEMHtkJj65fvCiCEV-BE1E8nfIYIElhAQ/alreadyresponded?c=0&w=1

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010
dangerdoom do you want a run down of all the teams too? I'm not working today and can do a paragraph on each.

Kibner
Oct 21, 2008

Acguy Supremacy

Henchman of Santa posted:

Kevin Durant is 7 feet tall

and Embiid is like 7'3 or 7'4 but whatever

dangerdoom volvo
Nov 5, 2009
whats the point of the preseason? Seems like a ton of games if they dont count for anything

edit a rundown on teams would be great. im trying to figure out you know, who to like. its very arbitrary since i dont have any geographic attachment... thinking about jsut picking the one with the coolest shoes

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010
[quote="“dangerdoom volvo”" post="“477314654”"]
whats the point of the preseason? Seems like a ton of games if they dont count for anything
[/quote]

They help bring new players and coaches along before things start really mattering and they let teams make some final tweaks to their roster. The injury risk isn't as extreme as football so people don't really complain about it.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

Is Igoudala HoF bound?

Cool Buff Man
Jul 30, 2006

bitch

dangerdoom volvo posted:

whats the point of the preseason? Seems like a ton of games if they dont count for anything

edit a rundown on teams would be great. im trying to figure out you know, who to like. its very arbitrary since i dont have any geographic attachment... thinking about jsut picking the one with the coolest shoes

4 games for each team, not too bad. NBA teams usually have a bit of turnover (or like the Celtics, only 4 returning players) and the preseason games help them to develop a bit of chemistry. It ostensibly makes the beginning of the real season less ugly

Lockback
Sep 3, 2006

All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

Kibner posted:

and Embiid is like 7'3 or 7'4 but whatever

I dunno, I think some of the "Embiid grew another 2 inches!" stuff was BS, but Durant is legit 6'11 or 7'0. Early in his career I was at a game sitting on the endlines and he would stand like 6 feet from me during pauses in the game. I've never seen a human being so alien in my life. He straight up looked like a different species.

Durant is literally the guy you'd create in NBA Live 95 to dominate.

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?


Hair Elf

dangerdoom volvo posted:

whats the point of the preseason? Seems like a ton of games if they dont count for anything

Its so that teams can integrate new players and get practice before the season actually starts. Its useful for coaches to figure who rotations (which players play well together), and for figuring out which players towards the end of the bench of are worth keeping. Its also really useful for new coaches to install their offenses and defenses, though as far as I can remember, this was the first off-season in nearly 50 years without a coaching change.


Starting this season, training camp and pre-season are significantly shortened (it normally runs until the end of October), to try to spread out the regular season schedule and reduce the number of back-to-back games they have to play.

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer

dangerdoom volvo posted:

whats the point of the preseason? Seems like a ton of games if they dont count for anything

its to get teams experience running their offenses and defenses in a live game that doesn't count. that way players and coaches can see what works and what doesn't, experiment with lineups, get new players familiar with playing with a new team, and get used to playing their systems. it also exists to try out end of bench players and rookies so teams can figure out their season rosters.

it gives teams an opportunity to experiment consequence-free before the season starts and the games start mattering.

people are just hype about it because its basketball and everyone misses it. the game results really don't mean anything. its more about watching individual playsets and lineups to get an idea of how the team will look when the season starts.

Lockback
Sep 3, 2006

All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.

dangerdoom volvo posted:

whats the point of the preseason? Seems like a ton of games if they dont count for anything

edit a rundown on teams would be great. im trying to figure out you know, who to like. its very arbitrary since i dont have any geographic attachment... thinking about jsut picking the one with the coolest shoes

You will need to find your own acquired taste but the meet the team thread is a great place. Feel free to ask questions there. And if you don't get some of the inside jokes, don't worry. They aren't that funny.
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3836979

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

dangerdoom volvo posted:

whats the point of the preseason? Seems like a ton of games if they dont count for anything

edit a rundown on teams would be great. im trying to figure out you know, who to like. its very arbitrary since i dont have any geographic attachment... thinking about jsut picking the one with the coolest shoes

Pick the Spurs if you would like to have the wokest coach and the purest most righteous basketball leading to deserved winning season after winning season or pick the Bulls and feast on despair because some people like to wear cilices.

Kibner
Oct 21, 2008

Acguy Supremacy

Lockback posted:

I dunno, I think some of the "Embiid grew another 2 inches!" stuff was BS, but Durant is legit 6'11 or 7'0. Early in his career I was at a game sitting on the endlines and he would stand like 6 feet from me during pauses in the game. I've never seen a human being so alien in my life. He straight up looked like a different species.

Durant is literally the guy you'd create in NBA Live 95 to dominate.

No, like, Durant is legit 7'0 and Embiid is definitely taller than 7'0 and 7'1. But it doesn't really matter. They are both much taller than their competition at their positions.

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

Kibner posted:

No, like, Durant is legit 7'0 and Embiid is definitely taller than 7'0 and 7'1. But it doesn't really matter. They are both much taller than their competition at their positions.

Durant tells girls he's 7'0'' but tells men he's shorter because he doesn't want to be made into a power forward.

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer

zoux posted:

Pick the Spurs if you would like to have the wokest coach and the purest most righteous basketball leading to deserved winning season after winning season or pick the Bulls and feast on despair because some people like to wear cilices.

i agree that everyone should pick the spurs, but i think the warriors are honestly playing the purest, most righteous basketball at the moment.

pick the spurs if you want the most professional organization and team in basketball. also if you want to have a chip on shoulder and have people year after year predict your downfall only to win 50+ games, make the playoffs, and be a legitimate title contender. also, they have a now perennial mvp and dpoy candidate in kawhi leonard.

Lockback
Sep 3, 2006

All days are nights to see till I see thee; and nights bright days when dreams do show me thee.
The Beat-the-Heat spurs were secretly one of the most fun teams to watch despite everyone saying otherwise, but the current LMA-Spurs are a bit boring again. Especially compared to GSW, Houston, or even Cavaliers who play a really weird brand of basketball.

I'd watch the Bucks for maybe-not-always-good-but-always-fun basketball, Golden State to see the current platonic ideal, or Houston to watch what happens if a random SAS Goon who thinks he knows basketball got to design a team.

Jack's Flow
Jun 6, 2003

Life, friends, is boring
I did not expect so many effort posts to answer the question What is basketball/the NBA. Another reason why this is the only sports forum I like.

Strawberry Panda
Nov 4, 2007

Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP

leftist heap posted:

a list of stars that doesn't include Dion Waiters smdh

AGREED.

dangerdoom volvo
Nov 5, 2009

Jack's Flow posted:

I did not expect so many effort posts to answer the question What is basketball/the NBA. Another reason why this is the only sports forum I like.

Listen i knew what basketball was. ive seen space jam

RaySmuckles
Oct 14, 2009


:vapes:
Grimey Drawer

Lockback posted:

The Beat-the-Heat spurs were secretly one of the most fun teams to watch despite everyone saying otherwise, but the current LMA-Spurs are a bit boring again. Especially compared to GSW, Houston, or even Cavaliers who play a really weird brand of basketball.

I'd watch the Bucks for maybe-not-always-good-but-always-fun basketball, Golden State to see the current platonic ideal, or Houston to watch what happens if a random SAS Goon who thinks he knows basketball got to design a team.

for what its worth, it looks like they're trying to get back to "the beautiful game" this season, but we won't know how that'll work out until kawhi plays

Strawberry Panda
Nov 4, 2007

Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP
Also if you're looking for a team to cheer for, pick the Warriors (the Dubs). They're going to win the championship again, which seems sucky, but is actually really cool because Javale McGee will be a 2x NBA Champion, furthering his revenge of Shawq, and Swaggy P will win a ring, finally getting retribution on all the burns he was given by Gilbert Arenas.

BWV
Feb 24, 2005


this is a good excuse to post about this book I once read about the aesthetics of basketball (I'm going to try to find the pdf)

I think it was from the 70s but the basic point was that basketball is awesome because it incentivizes things that are creative, aesthetically pleasing and that look cool. A good example is the behind the back dribble. It looks loving cool but also serves a real function of protecting the ball. So much so that it's basically a fundamental skill for people who learn the game. Something that might be considered hot dogging has great utility.

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010

dangerdoom volvo posted:

edit a rundown on teams would be great. im trying to figure out you know, who to like. its very arbitrary since i dont have any geographic attachment... thinking about jsut picking the one with the coolest shoes

Sure! Sounds like a fun way to kill some time.

ATLANTIC DIVISION

Toronto Raptors: Founded in the 90s and named because of the popularity of Jurassic Park, the Raps have traditionally been a mediocre franchise with little in the way of star power. In the last few years they have been one of the top teams in the East, but they have been pulverized by the Cavaliers repeatedly in the playoffs and would be a middling team if they played in the Western Conference. Canada's only team since 2002. Fun to follow if you like dinosaurs or Drake.
Stars to watch: Kyle Lowry, DeMar DeRozan
Historic players to know: Vince Carter, Chris Bosh

Boston Celtics: The most storied franchise in the Eastern Conference. Completely dominated the 1960s and were a power in the '80s and late 2000s. Currently fashioning themselves as the biggest challenger to Cleveland in the conference, in part by swapping star point guards with them. The C's are a solid team and pretty fun to watch but also have one of the worst fanbases, which comes with being a) a historically great franchise and b) from Boston. If you watch them on League Pass you also have to deal with Tommy Heinsohn.
Stars to watch: Kyrie Irving, Gordon Hayward, Al Horford
Historic players to know: Larry Bird, Bill Russell, Paul Pierce, John Havlicek, Kevin Garnett, Robert Parish, Kevin McHale...there's a lot more

New York Knicks: You would think a franchise that's been around since the beginning, based in the "Mecca of basketball" and biggest market, would be great. You'd be wrong. The Knicks haven't won a title since the early 1970s and have won a single playoff series in the 21st century. Looking to make a leap back to relevance on the back of young Latvian stretch 4 Kristaps Porzingis. They play in historic Madison Square Garden and have many celebrity fans, most famously Spike Lee.
Stars to watch: Porzingis
Historic players to know: Patrick Ewing, Willis Reed, Walt Frazier, Earl Monroe

Brooklyn Nets: After moving back to New York from decades in New Jersey, the Nets made a bunch of terrible win-now moves to get to like the 4th seed in the East and crippled the franchise. Second year coach Kenny Atkinson seems to have built a semi-watchable team out of spare parts, but they'll still be one of the worst teams in the league this year. Have a cool color scheme and used to have Jay Z as a minority owner.
Stars to watch: uhhhhh Jeremy Lin and D'Angelo Russell
Historic players to know: Jason Kidd, Drazen Petrovic

Philadelphia 76ers: A very controversial franchise because they spent three or four years intentionally fielding the worst possible team in order to build up high draft picks (this is referred to as "The Process"). This was made worse because their top picks seem to get injured every year. Now that their young prospects seem to be blooming, the Sixers might actually be a fun team and a playoff contender this year. But their core has seen so little actual playing time they might still suck.
Stars to watch: Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, Markelle Fultz
Historic players to know: Allen Iverson, Charles Barkley, Moses Malone, Julius Erving, Wilt Chamberlain

SOUTHEAST DIVISION

Washington Wizards: Probably the best team in this division and solidly third or fourth in the East. Traditionally a very mediocre to bad franchise since the 80s. Used to be the much cooler-named Baltimore Bullets, but changed to the dorky name a few years after moving to D.C. because of gun violence connotations. Their uniforms are slick.
Stars to watch: John Wall, Bradley Beal
Historic players to know: Elvin Hayes, Wes Unseld, Gilbert Arenas

Charlotte Hornets: The original Charlotte Hornets were founded in the late '80s and were very popular among young fans but never all that great. They moved to New Orleans in 2002, and then Charlotte was given a new franchise in 2004 called the Bobcats, and they sucked total rear end for a decade. The New Orleans Hornets changed their name to the Pelicans a few years ago, and the Charlotte brass used the opportunity to bring the old Hornets name and uniforms back to Charlotte to drum up fan attention. They also got the rights to the old Charlotte Hornets history (it's confusing). Unfortunately the team is still mediocre and plays a very boring brand of basketball, but they're well coached and have some talent.
Stars to watch: Kemba Walker, Nicolas Batum
Historic players to know: Glen Rice, Alonzo Mourning, Muggsy Bogues, Dell Curry (father of Steph)

Atlanta Hawks: Moved around a lot in the early days before settling in Atlanta for several decades now. Typically an also-ran that occasionally has fun players, they shocked everyone with a 60-22 campaign a few seasons ago. They couldn't get over the LeBron hump though, and have now blown everything up. Almost entirely devoid of talent, the only reason to watch the Hawks right now is their extremely cool organist who plays hip-hop songs by request.
Stars to watch: Dennis Schroder
Historic players to know: Dominique Wilkins, Dikembe Mutombo, Bob Pettit, Pete Maravich

Orlando Magic: Have been to the finals a couple of times and had some Hall of Fame players (including a young Shaquille O'Neal), but always fail to retain their stars. Currently pretty dire. If you must watch them now it's for Aaron Gordon's dunks and Elfird Payton's Final Fantasy hair.
Stars to watch: Aaron Gordon, Evan Fournier
Historic players to know: Shaq, Tracy McGrady, Penny Hardaway, Dwight Howard

Miami Heat: Been around for a relatively short time (around 30 years) but have won three titles. Briefly hated by the league when they kicked off the "superteam" trend, led by heel-turned LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. All those guys are gone now but they still have the same coach doing work with a band of misfits. Started 11-30 last year and almost made the playoffs anyway because of a ridiculous hot streak. They're fun but not very good.
Stars to watch: Hassan Whiteside, Goran Dragic, Dion Waiters
Historic players to know: Dwyane Wade, LeBron, Alonzo Mourning

CENTRAL DIVISION

Chicago Bulls: Their history really begins and ends with Michael Jordan, widely considered the greatest player who ever lived. They won six titles in eight years during the 90s, with Jordan retiring for the first time during the non-championship years. Since then they've been largely middling to good, especially during the couple of years when Derrick Rose was healthy. This year they might be the worst team in the league.
Stars to watch: Nobody really. Zach LaVine is an awesome dunker when healthy.
Historic players to know: Jordan, Scottie Pippen, Dennis Rodman, Derrick Rose

Cleveland Cavaliers: The other contender for greatest player who ever lived is LeBron James, a native of Akron (about 45 minutes from Cleveland), LeBron took them from terrible to the Finals pretty much by himself in the 2000s but couldn't get a ring. He villainously left to join Miami in 2010, winning two titles there, then came back to Cleveland and has gone to three straight finals against the Warriors, winning the second one after a miraculous comeback. Swapped star point guards with Boston. Still the team to beat in the East.
Stars to watch: LeBron, Kevin Love, Isaiah Thomas
Historic players to know: Mark Price, Brad Daugherty, young LeBron, Kyrie Irving

Detroit Pistons: Winners of three championships with teams noted for ridiculous defenses and few superstars. A dominant force in the East during the 2000s, but treading water in the 35-45 win zone since then. This is my team and I don't recommend following them. They're not fun right now.
Stars to watch: Andre Drummond, Reggie Jackson
Historic players to know: Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Ben Wallace, Chauncey Billups, Bob Lanier, Dave Bing

Indiana Pacers: Much like the Pistons, they are periodically a very good team that plays very ugly basketball. Unlike the Pistons, they have never won a championship. For a while they were rooted for nationally because they were the only team that stood a chance against Miami in the playoffs. It was a weird time. They'll probably suck this year.
Stars to watch: Myles Turner, Victor Oladipo
Historic players to know: Paul George, Reggie Miller

Milwaukee Bucks: Won a title extremely early in their existence but haven't done much since. Usually a very average team, they have risen to become a really fun team full of long-armed freaks, led by the Greek Freak Giannis Antetokounmpo. Definitely worth watching on League Pass, especially because Gus Johnson is calling some of their home games now.
Stars to watch: Giannis, Jabari Parker, Khris Middleton, Thon Maker
Historic players to know: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar/Lew Alcindor, Oscar Robertson, Sidney Moncrief

Will do the West in my next post.

Ghost Dog
Aug 17, 2016

i didnt read all those character bios but i feel like the entire kevin durant one didnt have the word bitch or made or any combination thereof which is objectively wrong imo

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BWV
Feb 24, 2005


The book I was talking about is called "the essence of the game is deception" by Leonard Koppett. You used to be able to see it online but I'm not sure where anymore

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