Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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armchairyoda: Sep 17, 2008; Melman

Jastiger posted:

Nice! Goon:

The problem wasnt you or the fact that she was a teacher. The problem was that she was already messed up. That was an adult assaulting another adult at the end there, not a teacher taking advantage of a kid.

Still, nice tho. You should deffo write her back, and stop being rude.

You are the best example of a Nebraskan.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 05:44

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# ? May 12, 2024 21:02

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Clockwerk posted:

I'm sure therapy goon is fine

He's just figured out with help from his girlfriendapist that all of his close friends and family are actually not good people and he should distance himself from them before they drag him down and sa is a negative place that affects his psyche and is the reason he's depressed and has low self-esteem so he shouldn't post or spend time here. Fortunately, he has one person in his life who is the antithesis of all these things and will always be there for him and he can always trust and rely on wholly, forever and ever

Oh hi Ms. Therapist

# ? Oct 31, 2017 05:45

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Police Automaton posted:

nah, he ded

You either die a depressed virgin, or live long enough to see yourself gently caress your therapist

# ? Oct 31, 2017 12:22

Kosmo Gallion: Sep 13, 2013

Can somebody with more patience than me posy Therapygoon's confessions? I skipped his last few.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 12:43

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

Just click that little question mark under loquacius posts, it shows only his posts then. Should be trivial to find therapygoon's stuff then.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 12:57

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I'm the 36 year old guy who got molested by a guy in a van a few weeks ago. I was at the same park a few weeks later (never reporting because the police wouldn't believe anything anyways, I am aware how ridiculous that story was and I just wanted to forget it myself) and saw the guy sitting on a bench and drinking what I think was a can of beer and looking a lot worse since the last time I saw him. I started walking quickly in the other direction (the place is not much of a park, it's basically just two pathways with green and a few benches scattered around) because I didn't want him to see me but he did and instantly recognized me. As I have to admit that I'm obese I can't walk as quickly as I'd like to because of my hosed up knees and he caught up fairly quickly with me. He was drunk. He apologised over and over citing personal reasons and fuckups in his life for the reasons he did what he did. He was halfway crying when he told me that he isn't even gay. I felt like I was going to puke, I wanted to just get away from this smelly rear end in a top hat and pictures kept flooding back of what happened a few weeks ago.

I started feeling dizzy, in parts because I felt grossed out by the smell of him (reminding me what happened and making the pictures flooding back) and the fact that my fat rear end isn't used to walking that fast or even walking much at all. (I only walk through the park to get home from work, some teenagers totalled my car) He must have noticed I was feeling unwell because he interrupted his monologue a few times asking me if I was alright and if he should call someone. Just wanting to get rid of him I told him I was feeling unwell and just want to go home. He suddenly got very energetic about offering to drive me home, telling me that he totally will drive me home and that it is no problem, putting his dirty hands on my shoulders. I felt like I was about to pass out so through some lapse of judgement I agreed to him driving me home. I was so stupid.

I don't want to recap in detail what happened but he performed oral sex on me in the van. He also took my wallet. He knows where I live now. I'm terrified.

dude

call the loving cops, like now

I know it's hard to do that and talk about it etc etc but you need to talk to them about this or it's going to keep happening

SKIPPING: someone sending in a screenshot of something they saw on 4chan. Just post that somewhere bro, no need to anonymize that. (It also mentions SA posters by name which is Against Thread Policy)

quote:

I only feel a little bad about this so I'm sending it to the anon thread instead of telling it to someone who matters. Sorry Loq, your love for the Pats and the Fahrenheit system goes a long way to disqualify you from being a person who matters. Anyway.

My aunt and I last month were openly making fun of someone who was really fat trying to climb two (2) steps up to a neighbor's front door. I mean this was insane, like watching a blimp try to land on a windy day, but exactly the opposite of that. She had a man pulling each arm trying to help her step over this mighty obstruction, and she was too heavy and helpless for that to make a difference. Eventually she gave up on the steps and slowly wobbled around up their driveway to the back door. Like a blimp flying against the wind, but exactly the opposite of that.

Last week I went by their house again and saw they had replaced the front steps with a wheelchair ramp. Roll tide.

If you have any opinion about American football at all but are also a metric fanatic there might be something wrong with you

# ? Oct 31, 2017 13:49

Jastiger: Oct 11, 2008; by FactsAreUseless

lol Roll Tide.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 13:52

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

lmao.

Uh, vangoon, call the cops. Right loving now.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 14:46

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Theophany posted:

lmao.

Uh, vangoon, call the cops. Right loving now.

Can't we set up a gofundme account for him or something!?!

# ? Oct 31, 2017 14:48

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Man, as lovely as the dressing-room-spycam derail was, I feel a little twinge of pride that someone got permabanned in my thread :unsmith:

# ? Oct 31, 2017 15:00

Space Camp fuckup: Aug 2, 2003

Haha eat poo poo Jastiger

# ? Oct 31, 2017 15:26

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

The end of an era.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 15:59

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

Wow we sure will miss his good posts

# ? Oct 31, 2017 16:12

Serjeant Buzfuz: Dec 5, 2009

Did he finally eat a Perma??

# ? Oct 31, 2017 16:25

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Space Camp fuckup posted:

Haha eat poo poo Jastiger

Wow! I already put him on my ignore list so I missed the drama. From the Leper's Colon:

quote:

Perhaps you're being permabanned for just generally being a lovely poster. Perhaps you're being permabanned because you read a story about someone secretly videotaping a middle school girl in a changing room and your response was "It's so hosed up that this man could get in trouble just because of thought crime in puritan America!" But maybe, just maybe, I'm banning you because you made me read that and piece it together. Whatever the cause, I'm just going to leave everybody with this post you made in the same thread. Ahem.

"So its ok for you if shes 18? Plus how can he know before hand? No one has their age on their forehead, and its hard to tell"

Thank you, Jastiger. Please never, ever come back.

Thank you, FactsAreUseless.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 16:28

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

That's a surprise but I won't miss him. Whether he was creeping on girls in the pyf selfie thread or rambling incessantly about the south or having the dumbest opinions, he definitely won't be missed.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 16:29

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

I'd like to take credit for pointing out that he was a piece of poo poo in the "who should be banned" thread

# ? Oct 31, 2017 16:42

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

He posted too close to the (underage) sun.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 16:45

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

# ? Oct 31, 2017 16:47

r00tn00b: Apr 6, 2005

bradzilla posted:

I'd like to take credit for pointing out that he was a piece of poo poo in the "who should be banned" thread

when you're right you're right

# ? Oct 31, 2017 17:02

Mycroft Holmes: Mar 26, 2010; by Azathoth

it turned out jastiger became the thing he most hated: a southerner

# ? Oct 31, 2017 17:03

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

bradzilla posted:

I'd like to take credit for pointing out that he was a piece of poo poo in the "who should be banned" thread

I also posted him, as well as blue train. Hopefully I'm two for two in my wishes soon.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 17:06

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Guy, are we sure jastiger wasn't the target of this mysterious puppet master who can get anybody banned? :ohdear:

# ? Oct 31, 2017 17:27

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Ziv Zulander posted:

Guy, are we sure jastiger wasn't the target of this mysterious puppet master who can get anybody banned?

the ghost of robert e lee got him finally

# ? Oct 31, 2017 17:33

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Turtlicious posted:

Three some goons, how many of you are there? Jfc.

I've had threesomes in the past, they were ok I guess? :shrug:

# ? Oct 31, 2017 17:39

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

feedmegin posted:

I've had threesomes in the past, they were ok I guess?

Same. I've had a bunch of them (be in a band is the best advice I can give to anyone from 17-25), and it's never as good as you think it will be. One on one has always been the best. For me at least.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 18:14

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

I don't think vangoon is real

# ? Oct 31, 2017 18:25

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

yeah I eat rear end posted:

That's a surprise but I won't miss him. Whether he was creeping on girls in the pyf selfie thread or rambling incessantly about the south or having the dumbest opinions, he definitely won't be missed.

I went into that thread and the first post by him was him with his daughter.

How can you have a daughter and spend hours posting on these dead forums about how taping teens undressing is like, totally ok dude because people don't write their age on their forhead and it's your property

:yikes:

# ? Oct 31, 2017 18:29

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I suspect he was trolling with that but whatever. Play stupid games and all.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 18:37

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

*Jastiger claimed this was a joke

# ? Oct 31, 2017 18:39

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

FactsAreUseless: the hero SA needed, but not one we deserved

# ? Oct 31, 2017 18:40

quidditch it and quit it: Oct 11, 2012

Solice Kirsk posted:

*Jastiger claimed this was a joke

That's the sweetest burn I've read in a while...

# ? Oct 31, 2017 19:11

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

fruit on the bottom posted:

I suspect he was trolling with that but whatever. Play stupid games and all.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 19:13

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

fruit on the bottom posted:

I suspect he was trolling with that but whatever. Play stupid games and all.

When I get real drunk I like to troll just by being contrarian in random threads but I'd never pedo-troll. I have standards.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 19:29

omnibobb: Dec 3, 2005; Title text'd

Solice Kirsk posted:

*Jastiger claimed this was a joke

Jesus loving christ. Post of the year 2017 right here.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 19:39

maskenfreiheit: Dec 30, 2004

yeah I eat rear end posted:

When I get real drunk I like to troll just by being contrarian in random threads but I'd never pedo-troll. I have standards.

I was tempted to pedantically insist Kevin Spacey is technically an ephebophile in the GBS Rapey Spacey thread, but honestly, it's a bit low effort. A good troll should be subtle, like convincing your water delivery man that you are mentally challenged or inventing a useless cyber currency to trick people into burning out their GPUs.

# ? Oct 31, 2017 19:48