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There is so much  about that story. Putting your wedding on your credit card and having the balance present for ten years. Now I'm not against the idea of a nice or big wedding, but freaking save up for it. That's what my wife and I did; we set a budget then extrapolated how much each of us would have to save per month from engagement to planned date, rounding up to account for things costing more than anticipated. Developing the self-discipline to save for wedding expenses made saving for the down payment of a house much easier. Having your Husband blow 80 grand on dumb stuff and having no goddamn idea it was happening. I feel like there is no way I could spend that much money without my wife knowing, either through accumulating all this new stuff, all this time I'm mysteriously not at home with dubious explanations, or just changes in behavior. I've heard bipolar people can go on spending sprees when they are in a manic state sometimes. They make about what my wife and I make but they live in goddamn Missouri so that 180k is going to go much further than it would in the Bay Area. One reasonable explanation for a zero down payment home is if it was purchased as a VA loan; my brother was so close to closing on a home that he would've gotten 0% down yet still at a low interest rate, no PMI and seller covering all the closing costs  . Unfortunately because his job is seasonal the contract fell through at the last minute which was devastating for them.
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Nov 7, 2017 06:37
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If you can't put 20% down on your house, you shouldn't buy your house.
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Nov 7, 2017 06:57
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What first-time home buyers in the Bay Area have ~$140,000 (plus emergency fund, plus closing costs) just sitting around in the bank to cover the 20% down? Easy to say when a house only costs 300,000, but when most houses are well over twice that it is a different story.
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Nov 7, 2017 07:19
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So what you are saying is that when you are buying things that are twice as much money, it's absurd to have twice as much money to put down? You know that you don't have to keep your down payment in a savings account.
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Nov 7, 2017 07:45
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I'm saying the rate that properties in the area are increasing in cost will far exceed the rate in which people can save up for a 20% down payment. I really doubt a crash on the level of 2008 will happen again soon; both Apple and Facebook just did massive expansions to their campuses recently. At best prices will level off, but every year a home buyer holds off waiting for that coveted 20% down payment is another year further away they are from actually having a house they can reasonably pay off before retirement.
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Nov 7, 2017 07:53
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Housing in the Bay Area is insanity, so I'd say "Bay Area buyers are unlikely to have a 20% downpayment saved by the age most people are looking for homes" is a problem with the market, not the rule of thumb. (Speaking of, is there a good thread anywhere about that? I find the area fascinating in both a "how insanely expensive can housing get?" sense and in a "what long-term effects does insanely expensive housing have on a city?" sense, but the latter isn't really material for this thread)
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Nov 7, 2017 08:10
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The whole 'it's different here' justification is totally garbage. If anything, in very hot / expensive markets you should be more risk averse and putting even more money down.
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Nov 7, 2017 08:18
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You are living in an area where it is prohibitive to save 20% for a down payment for a house. Do you: (a) Buy a house for 1% or 5% down (b) Give up on the idea of buying a house there, and continue to rent (c) Move to an area where you could save 20% for a down payment, and buy a house there instead inb4 HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST PEOPLE SHOULD SACRIFICE ONE THING THEY WANT IN ORDER TO GET ANOTHER THING THEY WANT 
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Nov 7, 2017 08:21
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Haifisch posted:Housing in the Bay Area is insanity, so I'd say "Bay Area buyers are unlikely to have a 20% downpayment saved by the age most people are looking for homes" is a problem with the market, not the rule of thumb. A lot of what it takes to be a homeowner here tends to involve taking a lot more risk than in other areas, presumably BWM stuff like having to deal with PMI or piggyback loans to offset it, but the problem is if you like living here rent isn't any better in terms of steadily going up. Pay is higher, but not relative to living expenses. But there are other hidden benefits. My brother (the one that almost got a really sweet deal on a house) lives in a much cheaper part of California than I do. The flip side is that nobody willing to actually help out with child care lives near him, and what he pays for daycare for one of his kids he could be putting her up in a pretty nice 1BRM apartment out there . So while their own rent is cheaper, the fact that they live so far from the rest of their extended family kind of nullifies the benefits.Conversely, my wife's family lives in the Bay Area but many of them are immigrants that came here within the last 10-20 years. Most of them work blue collar jobs, not tech jobs but because they chose to stick close together they were able to benefit from mutual support much like many other ethnic enclaves did in San Francisco, New York, etc. If one family member has a financial crisis, there are many other relatives nearby able to help absorb some of the cost in terms of either loans, time, or simply a place to crash until they get back on their feet.
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Nov 7, 2017 08:23
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Panfilo posted:There is so much Plenty of other threads for humble brags about your wedding, your salary, or your brother's almost amazing house deal than this one, the
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Nov 7, 2017 08:55
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Enfys posted:Plenty of other threads for humble brags about your wedding, your salary, or your brother's almost amazing house deal than this one, the Honestly not trying to humblebrag. More about how we have some similarities to this couple but made choices that allowed us to do comparatively better. I bring up our wedding because there is this trend that anybody that spend a "lot" of money on a wedding either had wealthy family pay for it or went into debt, so there's this stereotype that any big wedding is a BWM move. But ours was accomplished the same way any other reasonable approach to a big purchase is done: Set a budget, work out how much you have to set aside/month to meet that goal. . Also not trying to brag about our collective income, because it really doesn't go nearly as far in the Bay Area as it does in Missouri. With my brother, the reason I brought it up is because it is the only situation I can think of where having a nonexistant down payment on a house isn't BWM. For him it was the prospect of getting all the perks with none of the downsides but unfortunately it didn't work out for him. I had a High School friend with a similarly lucrative VA loan but he was genuinely BWM so in spite of getting a sweetheart deal on a house that far more responsible people wouldn't be in a position to be approved for he hosed it up anyway 
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Nov 7, 2017 09:28
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Panfilo posted:Honestly not trying to humblebrag. More about how we have some similarities to this couple but made choices that allowed us to do comparatively better. shut up you stupid idiot, literally nobody cares. see OP: quote:Talking about yourself
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Nov 7, 2017 09:35
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Haifisch posted:Housing in the Bay Area is insanity, so I'd say "Bay Area buyers are unlikely to have a 20% downpayment saved by the age most people are looking for homes" is a problem with the market, not the rule of thumb. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3131399 This might be a good start, there are a lot of first hand accounts of how hosed the bay area is
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Nov 7, 2017 13:05
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The idea that they've been married 10 years, may now get a divorce, and she'll still be paying off the nuptials.  Buying a house with little money down isn't the worst thing in the world. There's a good reason why most people didn't predict how terrible the housing crash would be - those kinds of downturns are very rare. So the likelihood of you buying a home and seeing a housing crash that also results in widespread unemployment and a credit crunch all at the same time is remote. Even time bombs like Toronto or Vancouver aren't likely to see bigly unemployment when their homes lose 20% of their value overnight. The problem is buying a home where you have no cushion for poo poo breaking. You're better off renting, even if it's more expensive, than getting a house with a lovely HVAC, leaky roof, or plumbing problems. Like my dumbass brother who bought a 90 year old house in an 'up and coming' area and six months later had to spend $11k on a new sewer connection. Now he and his wife are having issues and if they split up and sell they'll have to pay back $20k in credits the city gave them to buy in such an 'up and coming' new area with bars on the gas station windows and people walking in the middle the street at all hours. At least they got married in a court house so that was kind of GWM.
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Nov 7, 2017 13:27
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NUKES CURE NORKS posted:I don’t know anything about mortgages since I’m just starting to save to be able to buy a house in five years and common sense tells me the more I can put down the better (and that’s the extent of my home buying knowledge at this point) but even I’m lolling at owing $295k on a $305k house. Maybe I can just save for six months and accomplish one of my life goals super early!!! Being upside down doesn't really matter if you're sure you want to stay there very long term, unless you lose your income. Then it matters a lot!
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Nov 7, 2017 14:18
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Photex posted:https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/7b6zgi/spouse_just_informed_me_he_accrued_83k_in_debt/ I still can't get past them grossing $15k but only taking home a little under $7k
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Nov 7, 2017 14:22
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Later she says he got a 10k raise, but she thought it might put them in the next tax bracket. Which isn't how that works.
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Nov 7, 2017 14:32
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TLG James posted:Later she says he got a 10k raise, but she thought it might put them in the next tax bracket. Which isn't how that works. No, but an absurd number of people think that IS how it works. Despite the fact you can explain progressive taxation in about thirty seconds. Maybe a couple of minutes if you want to draw diagrams.
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Nov 7, 2017 14:45
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Panfilo posted:Honestly not trying to humblebrag Well, you did. MY WEDDING is well-tread ground here, and it's also out of bounds unless you're talking about how bad with money you were at it.. Co-signing for roommates, BWM: yes or no? Survey says... https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/7bc17o/the_person_i_cosigned_a_loan_for_is_not/ posted:About 6 months ago I regrettably co-signed on a $20,000 loan for a vehicle for a roommate, with a verbal agreement between the friend that he would be paying the due amount monthly without help from me. Time passed and personal issues with the roommate came up and he had to be kicked out of our house. Since the incident, he has refused to pay all but one month's payment and it's destroying my credit. I have facebook messaged him (FOR MONTHS), drove to his house, place of work, contacted his family/friends. All of which I either get no response from him, or friends and family giving me excuses on why he's not around. It's obviously BS in an attempt to keep him away from me. I would be willing to pay it off if he would give the car to me, but it's impossible to get ahold of him. I would also pay off the difference if it were to get repossessed (which is what I'm hoping for), but it's been 6 months with no repo??? quote:Yes, it's a 50-50 split. The only issue I see with that is that he has little to no money. BWM: It's a 50-50 split. The only issue I see with that is he has little to no money
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Nov 7, 2017 15:09
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A friend told me a story the other day about what was almost his first house. He was a new lawyer out of law school, married with one or two kids, and was buying their first house. Their schedules didn't overlap, so his wife was going through the signing process earlier in the day and he was going to pop in to the title office later in the day to sign the mountain of paperwork. He calls her as she literally has pen in hand about to sign the first page and tells her to stop, because he had just gotten fired. That's some good timing.
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Nov 7, 2017 15:10
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Fil5000 posted:No, but an absurd number of people think that IS how it works. Despite the fact you can explain progressive taxation in about thirty seconds. Maybe a couple of minutes if you want to draw diagrams.
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Nov 7, 2017 15:10
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She seemed to just assume they were getting screwed on taxes, but if you're going to declare yourself to be in charge of finances due to your husband being previously bad with money, it's your responsibility to...take charge of finances. At the very least know how much money your husband should be bringing home. It's so baffling that someone can say they are "in charge" of their family's finances and not notice their partner blowing $117k or have any idea what their taxes are or what their income is
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Nov 7, 2017 15:15
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Nail Rat posted:BWM: It's a 50-50 split. The only issue I see with that is he has little to no money
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Nov 7, 2017 15:16
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edit: whoops
Nail Rat fucked around with this message at 15:22 on Nov 7, 2017 |
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Nov 7, 2017 15:20
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bwm: whoops, where'd that $117k go?
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Nov 7, 2017 15:31
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How the hell did they get through the home-buying process without that coming up? I mean I get that you can be an idiot and not check your own finances prior to getting knee-deep into it, but at some point in there don't you have to have a list of assets/debts with your bank for the mortgage? Did the broker just give them way less on approval and never mention it, and they didn't ask?
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Nov 7, 2017 16:06
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Ashcans posted:How the hell did they get through the home-buying process without that coming up? I mean I get that you can be an idiot and not check your own finances prior to getting knee-deep into it, but at some point in there don't you have to have a list of assets/debts with your bank for the mortgage? Did the broker just give them way less on approval and never mention it, and they didn't ask? People lie/omit to get bigger/better mortgages all the time, and banks are often complicit because they stand to profit and have an outsized amount of experience in exercising the all-important plausible deniability. Plus, while their situation is pretty dire, it's not insurmountable.
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Nov 7, 2017 16:17
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Not a Children posted:People lie/omit to get bigger/better mortgages all the time, and banks are often complicit because they stand to profit and have an outsized amount of experience in exercising the all-important plausible deniability. I remember re-financing in 2004 and the agent getting really creative with assets. "Why yes, I do have a 401k." It was a heady time.
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Nov 7, 2017 16:21
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canyoneer posted:A friend told me a story the other day about what was almost his first house. I guess that all the paperwork would have been in both their names, so even if she had signed already, as long as he hadn't also signed nothing was final, no? Not a Children posted:People lie/omit to get bigger/better mortgages all the time, and banks are often complicit because they stand to profit and have an outsized amount of experience in exercising the all-important plausible deniability. Maybe the monetary situation on its own, but if you include the relationship aspects it seems rather terrible.
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Nov 7, 2017 16:26
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I feel so bad for this man's family. What this reminds me of most is all those people who maxed out their credit cards prior to the rapture. quote:Didi Taihutto sold his house in the Netherlands, all his furniture, three cars, and a motorcycle. He only kept the things he truly couldn't part with: His photo albums, a few mementos, and his laptop. Together with his wife Romaine and their three children, he now lives in a tiny house on a Dutch campground not far from the German border. Like, apparently, reality. quote:Taihutto wants to secure the livelihoods of his family as a so-called day trader—in other words, a speculator who invests in cryptocurrency with the promise of high returns within a short time. Their website is yolofamilytravel.com. Their Instagram uses the phrase "Think about it" unironically. They currently have five people living in a 50 square meter "bungalow". He's not taking his kids to school in a country where homeschooling is not allowed and expects to have to pay fines for that but thinks that's unfair because "the Netherlands is doing too little for the growing class of digital nomads for whom these rules is simply too strict." Just...
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Nov 7, 2017 16:47
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Me [47 M] with my wife [45 F] 16 years married, her family asking us to go in on a joint investment. She wants to and I don't. https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/7bbz4w/me_47_m_with_my_wife_45_f_16_years_married_her/ quote:My Wife's brother is asking us to go in with other family members to buy her parents spare cottage on their property to give the parents some liquidity. 1. I really want the horse story. 2. At least this guy is smart enough to realize that this is a bad idea.
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Nov 7, 2017 16:53
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There’s always divorce but given what he’s said that’s probably even worse with money than a race horse.
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Nov 7, 2017 17:40
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Yeah he's in deep enough that he's got a loaded financial gun to his retirement accounts. He may not have a choice but to go through with it.
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Nov 7, 2017 17:45
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He should probably at least put his foot down about getting his name on stuff he’s contributing to. Not sure what the laws are re marriage where he lives though, it might not matter. e: also, “my wife wants for nothing as I give her what she wants” is a really gross way to look at finances in what should ideally be a partnership.
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Nov 7, 2017 17:48
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Full joint finances, as always, the way to go.
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Nov 7, 2017 18:23
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Jordan7hm posted:e: also, “my wife wants for nothing as I give her what she wants” is a really gross way to look at finances in what should ideally be a partnership. I don't either, actually. But just thought it is a nice capture of the extremist thinking here in SA. Sort of like how I believe in blaming victims of crime, but coming from the other side of the spectrum while completely lacking any self-awareness. John Smith fucked around with this message at 18:38 on Nov 7, 2017 |
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Nov 7, 2017 18:36
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Where's that little dinosaur that's always running around and causing consternation with gender and race issues?
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Nov 7, 2017 18:38
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Couples using the proportional income method, how is inheritance handled?quote:How is inheritance handled when a couple uses the yours, mine, and ours dileanation with a proportional income contribution to the "ours" account? WTF is even happening here?
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Nov 7, 2017 18:38
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Motronic posted:Couples using the proportional income method, how is inheritance handled? Couples therapy in real time. People pretending that they can be neater and tidier than average while having obvious emotional and mental baggage on board, manifesting as trust issues, treating divorce as an inevitability.
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Nov 7, 2017 18:41
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n8r posted:If you can't put 20% down on your house, you shouldn't buy your house. Why put 20% down if you can get identical <3% interest rates for 10% down?
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Nov 7, 2017 18:41
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