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darthbob88
Oct 13, 2011

YOSPOS
Please don't doxx me like that.

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By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


I tried thinking angrily of Portland but I kept thinking lovingly of Natalie Portman.

Darth Walrus
Feb 13, 2012

Hatefucking an entire city? That’s a new one.

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop

Horrible Lurkbeast posted:

I tried thinking angrily of Portland but I kept thinking lovingly of Natalie Portman.

mods, please change Pick's name to Natalie Portland

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

china bot posted:

mods, please change Pick's name to Natalie Portland

ForceKin
Dec 22, 2009

http://www.wctv.tv/content/news/Woman-charged-with-killing-girl-by-sitting-on-her-451229523.html

325 lb Florida Woman fatally sits on 9 year old cousin

Tardigrade
Jul 13, 2012

Half arthropod, half marshmallow, all cute.
Python found in trousers of drunk man in Germany

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41914261

🐍

SmokaDustbowl
Feb 12, 2001

by vyelkin
Fun Shoe

Tardigrade posted:

Python found in trousers of drunk man in Germany

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41914261

🐍

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVyry6hZuw4

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Britney Spears Just Sold a Flower Painting to Robin Leach for $10,000

dumb.
Apr 11, 2014

-=💀=-

"which Spears donated to Vegas Cares, an auction to benefit the victims of last month’s Las Vegas massacre"

lovely painting but it's for a good cause.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

Darth Walrus posted:

Hatefucking an entire city? That’s a new one.

Somehow imagining this as Portland, Maine is even funnier. Is there anything to hate about that town? Surely it's not worth a hatespank.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


Did I get the Oklahoma knifefight porn armor story from here or Facebook?

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
Person in a gorilla suit tries to rob Guilderland McDonald's

quote:

A person dressed in a full gorilla costume attempted to rob the McDonald's at the Guilderland Thruway rest stop early Wednesday.

According to employees, about 1 a.m. they discovered the suspect kneeling in front of the store's open safe with a large bag preparing to empty the drawers full of cash.

An employee confronted the suspect, who fled through a back door. No one was hurt in the incident and the suspect did not display a weapon, employees said.

A State Police spokesman declined to confirm troopers are investigating a robbery, saying only that an incident was under investigation.

It is not the first time some tried to rob that McDonald's. In January 2012, two masked man held up the rest stop restaurant.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Somehow imagining this as Portland, Maine is even funnier. Is there anything to hate about that town? Surely it's not worth a hatespank.

I had a lobster roll there that was completely flavorless which seems unforgivable for Maine

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

There's been reported 3 tigers loose in Florida, and nobody knows yet where they came from.

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

I must admit, I wasn't expecting a story on energy drinks when I clicked on that.

big parcheesi player
Apr 1, 2014

Also, I can kill you with my brain.
Wood mysteriously erected

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
Why am I not surprised to hear about this happening in Myakka? I live near there, Myakka is a "town" with only one traffic light, and it defaults to perpetually blinking yellow.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

It has a hashtag carved into it! :toot:

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Dr Sun Try
May 23, 2009


Plaster Town Cop

Africa

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013


I guess someone didn't bless the reins

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Pastry of the Year posted:

I guess someone didn't bless the reins

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Naked suspects in Alberta kidnapping case may have unknowingly consumed hallucinogenic tea

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang




do watch the video everyone. dustin loves this poo poo

Gynocentric Regime
Jun 9, 2010

by Cyrano4747

Cythereal posted:

Why am I not surprised to hear about this happening in Myakka? I live near there, Myakka is a "town" with only one traffic light, and it defaults to perpetually blinking yellow.

What I don’t get is if you live in Manatee people are like oh that’s cool, but if you live in Pasco people like wow that’s crazy. Give us break, at least we don’t have giant goddamn cats running around

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Not a cat, but I saw the fattest possum I've ever seen today.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out
Tigers live in Asia, not Africa

:goonsay:


but I still appreciated the Toto joke

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

AlbieQuirky posted:

but I still appreciated the Toto joke

I just want to make people happy.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



nice

i wanna say though, not appreciating a toto reference would be a cause for death

i know its a bit much but come on

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Powaqoatse posted:

nice

i wanna say though, not appreciating a toto reference would be a cause for death

i know its a bit much but come on

It's all played out, don't @ me bro

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

let's bring it home

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



*rain*

lets listen to louis ck lookalike mike masse singing that song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLrC7e3vSv8

Say Nothing
Mar 5, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang




as always, the full clip with sound is funnier than the cut off silent gif

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKCy3LMtTao

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

I think you, specifically, has posted this in this thread once or twice before already

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013



Aesop Poprock posted:

I think you, specifically, has posted this in this thread once or twice before already

Who gives a gently caress. It's still funny.

empty whippet box
Jun 9, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
http://www.wdsu.com/article/suspects-farting-shuts-down-interrogation/13518162

quote:


A police interrogation of a Kansas City man charged with drug and gun offenses ended prematurely when an investigator was driven from the room by the suspect's excessive flatulence.

A detective reported that when asked for his address, 24-year-old Sean Sykes Jr. "leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering."


Advertisement
The Kansas City Star reports that Sykes "continued to be flatulent" and the detective was forced to quickly end the interview.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

The suspect was then quoted as saying "you don't understand *fart* detective; I'm not stuck *pfft* here with you - YOU're *prfffffft* stuck here with ME!"

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Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



i prefer to think of this as Advertisement: The Kansas City Star reports that Sykes "continued to be flatulent" and the detective was forced to quickly end the interview.

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