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little munchkin posted:pennywise the clown from IT only he assumes the form of whatever makes you the most horny friend: what the hell is that thing? it: *in extremely chris latta voice* I AM AIR COMMANDER STARSCREAM OF THE DECEPTICON BATTLEFLEET me: me: me: hahah... whaaaaat... |
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Nov 6, 2017 06:32
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Coach: "There's nothing in the rule book that says a dog can't play basketball!" Ref: "Actually yeah we put that rule in after that movie." Coach, flustered: "Well, there's nothing in the rule book that says humans can play basketball!" *Crosses arms, smug look on face* *Ref, thumbing through the book for a few minutes, and sighs* "Welp looks like he is right, there's nothing in the book that says people can play basketball. Pack it up, basketball is over forever, thanks for playing and watching everyone."
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Nov 8, 2017 01:26
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people keep bathing themselves in my farm's above-ground sprinkler system. they laugh at me when I chase them off and yell "it's a grower, not a shower" |
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Nov 9, 2017 00:58
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Olive! posted:people keep bathing themselves in my farm's above-ground sprinkler system. they laugh at me when I chase them off and yell "it's a grower, not a shower" There's marital canoodling in the corn maze and bawdy decadence in the dairy barn. |
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Nov 9, 2017 00:59
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check out my new cover band. we play all our instruments underwater and our name is scubastank |
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Nov 9, 2017 08:11
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Santas stacked up high all sitting on each other’s laps telling themselves what they want for Christmas. It’s a human Santapede
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Nov 10, 2017 04:21
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Santa has a few beers and can't make it back to his car: Santa-peed. |
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Nov 10, 2017 05:22
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I slowly like develop a character of a man who just like hangs around stables and goes on weird dates with the grown women who love Horse Back Riding Like some examples of weird dates would be :my character and a Woman decide to prep for like a cross country race? and while they're doing that they gently caress. :my character eats out at an 99 restaurant with a Woman (like age 27 or something) and her family after riding, they all drive back to her house in the same car and then my character and the Woman have sex in her bed , maybe somebody would ask questions about the house and I'd say (in character) "yeah I guess you could call it a McMansion? they had a pool but like everybody could def hear us loving when we did it" I'd probably also get into like the similarities between horse girls and how they might be different from normal Women. some ideas off the top of my head -They hang around stables -They usually grew up upper middle class or super wealthy (this sort of factors into why my character hangs around a stable instead of like a bar, but it's never totally clear that he's just a straight up gold digger) -Usually her dad was in the military which makes sense I guess when you think about it? like horses used to be a pretty big part of the military, and like people in the military are usually pretty conservative and goofing around with horses is a conservative hobby for a woman to have Chasterson fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Nov 10, 2017 ---------------- |
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Nov 10, 2017 05:24
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So the horse man walks into a bar...
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Nov 10, 2017 06:15
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Twenty Four posted:So the horse man walks into a bar... Yeah Bojack drinks a lot |
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Nov 10, 2017 06:20
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A demanding director shouting at people in his life when emotions are not portrayed according to their vision |
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Nov 10, 2017 20:18
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Michael Bay in his car after a fender bender "This just won't do at all" Pushes gas, driving into oncoming traffic |
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Nov 10, 2017 20:20
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I dont really watch a lot of movies |
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Nov 10, 2017 20:35
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vanisher posted:Michael Bay in his car after a fender bender lol
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Nov 11, 2017 00:58
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A new wine bar opened up featuring dogs at every table called the "Wimper and Whine" |
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Nov 11, 2017 07:33
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A bunch of sad dogs walking at you in unison, but in slow-mo, and it says "whimper is coming" |
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Nov 11, 2017 07:44
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craigslist missed connection: you had the most beautiful headlights i ever saw at the texas roadhouse ---------------- |
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Nov 11, 2017 08:36
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AverySpecialfriend posted:craigslist missed connection: You: Throwing peanut shells on the floor but really more at my table, getting the whole staff to stop doing their job and come sing for your fake birthday. Me: Just chillin eating a steak. Wait why did I post this ad?
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Nov 11, 2017 11:24
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Goon Challenge: Get a coworker fired by convincing them to masturbate at work
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Nov 11, 2017 20:52
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You: went the wrong way to the bathroom at Outback Steakhouse. Me: Can help you find the right way to go to the bathroom. |
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Nov 11, 2017 20:55
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| headlights here is a euphemism for boobies btw | |
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Nov 11, 2017 21:57
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nice fog lights baybee
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Nov 11, 2017 22:05
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Ways to take your dick pic game to the next level: Hire a sky writer to trace it out above the city Hire a portrait artist to make a classy oil painting that will one day hang in the The Louvre A Braille outline on paper so even the blind can see it |
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Nov 12, 2017 05:59
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carve it in stone to last millennia
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Nov 12, 2017 06:56
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How that one group leaves bibles in the drawers of hotel rooms, but printed out dick pics. Maybe even hidden in the bibles.
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Nov 12, 2017 11:14
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Twenty Four posted:How that one group leaves bibles in the drawers of hotel rooms, but printed out dick pics. Maybe even hidden in the bibles. The Genitals International |
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Nov 12, 2017 20:17
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Darn, those alien jerkfaces are going to pay for stealing my swears |
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Nov 12, 2017 20:49
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Nov 12, 2017 20:49
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Lol |
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Nov 12, 2017 21:03
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I wanna work in some kind of “very expensive” joke but I can’t think of one
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Nov 12, 2017 23:10
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A viking comedian named Jerry Steinfilled |
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Nov 13, 2017 01:17
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deep dish peat moss posted:A viking comedian named Jerry Steinfilled what's the deal with decapitation? *audience starts clapping and howling with laughter* ---------------- |
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Nov 13, 2017 01:41
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how about a viking sjw who wonders why when they invade a neighboring country it's called "pillaging" but when the europeans do it it's called "colonizing"
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Nov 13, 2017 01:44
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Nov 13, 2017 22:17
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got any sevens posted:carve it in stone to last millennia this it's not a place of honor; nothing of value is buried here |
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Nov 13, 2017 22:59
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Misunderstood Slang I'm extremely online: I have an email and a yahoo. I'm ready to get down and rest my lower back. Winter is here and that means Netflix and put on a sweater. |
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Nov 13, 2017 23:52
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They mayonnaise marketing guy trying to emulate the sriracha guy and really sweating it. "Hey maybe mayonnaise up that ketchup it's basically secret sauce! Ahh jeez no one wants to hear that. Hey, hey barbeque sauce, that could use the richness of egg, huh? Egg. In your meat. OK Timberly get yourself together. Excuse me, yes would you be interested in some Pringles...with Mayo? |
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Nov 13, 2017 23:56
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increasingly abstract ways to take selfies: -in windstorms -hanging upside down over the edge of spiral staircases -while signing your life away on a mortgage or student loan -trying a #homeless night where you buy a bunch of comfy stuff from rei to sleep outdoors one night a year to prove its not that bad while also offering token #solidarity with the downtrodden ---------------- |
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Nov 14, 2017 00:02
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got any sevens posted:increasingly abstract ways to take selfies: a picture of a charcoal chameo pressing your face into wax a selfie of me thinking about math i could do in high school but can't do now |
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Nov 14, 2017 00:08
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| # ? May 15, 2024 14:23 |
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paying an artist to paint a still life of your meal before you eat it that you then post on instagram
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Nov 14, 2017 00:29
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