Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Post
  • Reply
CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!
According to my DM, the spell "Cure Disease" does not cause autism.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

CobiWann posted:

According to my DM, the spell "Cure Disease" does not cause autism.
Of course not, that's a side effect of the Prevent Disease spell.

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!

Yawgmoth posted:

Of course not, that's a side effect of the Prevent Disease spell.

...genius!

escalator dropdown
Jan 24, 2007

Like all good stories, the second act begins with a call to action and the building of a robot.

Personally, I insist that all my food be conjuration-free

Razorwired
Dec 7, 2008

It's about to start!
I only use cruelty free spell components. Ground flaxseed is just as good as bone meal.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Razorwired posted:

I only use cruelty free spell components. Ground flaxseed is just as good as bone meal.

But only if you dilute 1:1000, beat it against a hippogriff fur board and repeat. Faux fur will not work.

Strontosaurus
Sep 11, 2001

Gold and I did a one-shot last night (with Gold as GM) with the Masks iconics. Two of our players were completely new to RPGs, but I think they'll be back.

The team was Huma, Dusk, and Hornet. We had been established by the existing heroes as the "New Exemplars," though with Hornet (a Robin analogue) and Huma (Superboy) on the team with Dusk (Raven), leadership was a bit unclear. After an initial scuffle with some drug dealers backed up by an electric knife-throwing supervillain, we stumbled upon an interesting mystery. Not only was Arcknife some sort of a clone, but our new street drug seemed to have no real supply-chain; it was just getting dropped off to distributors.

With Hornet's hacking skills, some clues from Huma's younger brother (who had been taking the drug, Chorus, to chase the high he had been missing from not having superpowers yet), and some mystical assistance from Dusk, the team ended up at an old abandoned pharmacy, once believed to be "haunted" by a villain called Polterghost. More recently, it had become a hideout for a gang of nefarious drug dealers whomst had outfitted the whole place with lethal booby-traps. Dusk was enraptured by her connection with the Dark Dimension while trying to scout for us, and beheld a vision of the past: Huma's grandfather battling a giant robot in this very spot, and Rook Industries scientists collecting his fallen blood.

While Hornet stood watch over the mystic, Huma volunteered to take advantage of his invulnerability to disable the shotguns, mines, bombs, and grenades inside the pharmacy...to devastating effect. Unfortunately, this hands-on approach to trapfinding resulted in the demolition of the building. During the confusion, Hornet dove to save Dusk, and was briefly thrust into the past, where she helped 50s Huma defeat a man in a giant chainsaw mech, confirming what we had learned: Rook Industries had used Huma-DNA to create a new superdrug. With that knowledge, and notes and maps recovered from the demolished building, the team set off to shut down their operation.

After a brief cutaway to assemble disguises and reprogram an ID card from Dusk's mother, the New Exemplars found themselves in the main processing room of the Rook facility. Rosa Rook, Evil CEO laughed at them from her transparent office while they were beset by armed guards and Rook's own personal supervillains: Godmode, a hacker with the power to reprogram reality; and Firedrake, some sort of crazy evil woman who could breathe fire and transform into a dragon.

Scowling mightily, the team leapt into action. Huma WHOOSHED into a surprised Godmode and ripped of his reality-controlling gauntlet, taking him out of the fight. Dusk used her fel powers to choke the life out of Firedrake. Hornet was left with the rest. In a frankly insane feat of competency, this completely unpowered teen superhero kicked, flipped, and kick-flipped her way through over two dozen armed guards.

After taking care of Godmode, Huma went after Rosa Rook. Her plexiglass office may have been impenetrable to his budding super-strength, but the ceiling didn't prove to be quite as tough. Knowing she was defeated, she stood down while Huma activated security measures to put out the fires caused by the team's earlier actions. Firedrake had the upper hand on Dusk and was taunting her about having killed her mother, and Hornet arrived to rescue her teammate from the wreckage. With a final laugh and gout of flame, however, Firedrake took to the skies to seek revenge in the future.

Aftermath: Dusk's brush with a fiery death has renewed her conviction to solve her mother's disappearance at all costs, before her connection with the dark dimension consumes her. Huma proved that he's got what it takes to be a real hero and live up to the legacy of his powers. Hornet's remarkable aptitude at combat impressed literally everyone. Videos of her circulated around the web and put her relationship with her mentor, Mantis, into a new light. Who's the sidekick now?

Strontosaurus fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Nov 21, 2017

Writer Cath
Apr 1, 2007

Box. Flipped.
Plaster Town Cop
Glory is my Elf Ranger, who thinks she's a human and she loving hates Elves.

She was in an archery competition. Crowd started to chant for Glory the El-

Cue the party bards immediately holding up signs behind her back saying HUMAN, SHE'S HUMAN!

The crowd chanted loudly for Glory the Human.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe

Writer Cath posted:

Glory is my Elf Ranger, who thinks she's a human and she loving hates Elves.

She was in an archery competition. Crowd started to chant for Glory the El-

Cue the party bards immediately holding up signs behind her back saying HUMAN, SHE'S HUMAN!

The crowd chanted loudly for Glory the Human.

How does she explain the ears

avoraciopoctules
Oct 22, 2012

What is this kid's DEAL?!

Convoluted taffy-pulling accident?
Cursed by a hateful dwarf?
“I don’t know what you mean, my whole human village looks like this.”?

avoraciopoctules fucked around with this message at 16:33 on Nov 25, 2017

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle
She can't see them, what do you mean?

Senior Woodchuck
Aug 29, 2006

When you're lost out there and you're all alone, a light is waiting to carry you home

avoraciopoctules posted:

Convoluted taffy-pulling accident?
Cursed by a hateful dwarf?
“I don’t know what you mean, my whole human village looks like this.”?

Mechanical rice-picker accident?

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
"I don't make fun of your nose, do I, elf-fucker?"

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸
Mechanical ri

Senior Woodchuck posted:

Mechanical rice-picker accident?
:argh:

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!

Phy posted:

How does she explain the ears

The 6th level spell "Racist Polymorph?"

slap me and kiss me
Apr 1, 2008

You best protect ya neck

CobiWann posted:

The 6th level spell "Racist Polymorph?"

This explains Tomb of Annihilation.

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle
Reverse Vitligo

Foolster41
Aug 2, 2013

"It's a non-speaking role"
Finally had another session of the Nausicca-inspired campaign, though a few weeks we did a one-off Halloween game in the world of Darkness where i played and one of players from my campaign GMed.She'd run this adventure a few times before, I think it's some sort of published module.

We were playing mortal characters, and during character creation I had the idea of doing a Grimms-inspired character. I was deciding between the Tailor Giant-slayer, Jack be Nimble, The youngest swan brother (from the 12 swans) or the Woodsman from Red Riding hood. I went with "Woody". I don't really remember a whole lot, of the little things that happened.

I don't remember really well the other two players, one was a female scientist type, and the other I think was some sort of adventurer type, ala a female Indiana Jones.

We were investigating a house for a guy named "Jack" who we all owed a favor (mine was he bailed me out of Jail).
Me: "Oh, a mansion? I look for typwriters!"
GM: "You find one, but you have no ribbons!"

We start investigating when we come to a locked door, so I use my strength and axe to chop it down easily. ("Heere's Johnny! Just kidding, I don't really say that.") After the door is opened, I motion with my hand like Fezzek from Princess bride.

We look around and eventually find hidden in a fireplace (of course!) a crown. Which Jack then yoinks, causing a giant monster to appear. It was described as giant hands pushing through trees that were somehow in the house. He jumps through a portal that closes after us. (Jerk!),
We run like hell to the kitchen and barricade it. We then come up with a plan: turn on the gas stove, gather materials to make a Molotov (Alcohol, piece of shirt, bottle) and run to the celler and toss the thing.
Unfortunately, the cellar didn't have a storm door like I had hopped, but lead to a mine. We find a tree down there (I got "Alone in the Dark" flash backs) .

We find some sort of weird artifact that makes on of our people lose their last point of willpower, and so they go crazy and start to walk back to the probably burning house. We tackle her and somehow break the trance. We go through a door and find ourselves in a flied with people on horses and I think guns approaching us when the GM told us that's when our story ends, since the adventure is one meant to be a lead-in for a changling campaign, which we might run in a later date with these characters.

The GM kept talking about how our characters were likely to die for this and how we shouldn't be too attached to them, but Woody I think didn't take any damage, and I don't think we took all the much damage in total besides the willpower loss. She commented that we really booked it our of there the fastest she's ever seen. WoD horror type isn't really my favorite genre, but it was fun, she did a really good job, and neat to be a player for once.

Foolster41 fucked around with this message at 03:33 on Dec 10, 2017

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!
Previously on Tanicus - the party was heading into the Kingdom of the Frozen Dead to retrieve Az's shortbow from the citadel of the Lich King, only to run into his first line of defense...

*****







The undead horde decided to forgo the protection of the anti-magic border of the Lich King's kingdom for the potential satisfaction of tearing the warm flesh from our bodies. With a Paladin at the forefront, one would expect this would have been a fight not as close as it was.

For the record reliquary golems SUCK.



Look at this thing. It just screams "BAD NEWS" from the model alone. Did I mention that it's also immune to ALL magical forms of damage that allow for any type of resistance? And instead of being vulnerable to radiant damage by a Paladin wielding a Holy Avenger, the golem ABSORBED radiant damage and shot it back out as a reaction in the form of necrotic damage? For the cherry on top, the golem could also cast the spell blasphemy once a day. Of course, our party found this out the hard way as our Paladin Falinrae and our Sorcerer Varis (me) wasted a Smite and a Lightning Bolt on it.

The Paladin tried to switch to the skeletal dragon, but the dragon recognized the danger and kept flying away every time the Paladin was about to get in melee range, which was really ticking her off. "This is the closest I've ever come to taking my goddess' name in vain." Meanwhile our poor Rogue Cullus got paralyzed by a Ghast who then turned around and went after our healer Aeana, so he spent nearly the entire fight off to one side slowly turning into a snowdrift due to the howling winds.

We managed to make it work though - our Monk Ksena and Eldritch Knight Talleisyn beat the crap out of the reliquary golem, the skeletal dragon never got its breath weapon back after using it and had no choice but to try to melee our healer which let Falinrae close in and carve it to pieces, and thanks to a scroll of Sunbeam Varis spent four turns mowing down the horde of undead as they kept lining up in neat little rows. After the fight we pushed on towards the citadel, figuring that the alarm had been tripped and speed and time were paramont.

*****

After fighting our way through some guardian spirts who used the snow to play Whack-A-Mole with our party...






...we stood before the massive iron doors of a huge castle of dark stone, the home of the most purely evil being to ever walk the face of Tanicus, a creature so wicked and so powerful that Az was saving him for last. The citadel towered over us, projecting an aura of despair that cut to our bones even deeper than the frigid wind surrounding us. Cullus took one look at the door, figured it wasn't trapped, and then stepped backwards. "I'm not knocking on the door. It's the Lich King. Even if he isn't home you know he's got security." So Varis was the one who stepped forward and politely rapped on the door. After a few moments, the doors SLOWLY swung open, the creaking of the hinges causing us all to wince.

Inside the door waiting for us was a zombie in one of the finest tuxedos any of us had ever seen, complete with a name tag.

quote:

Garan - "Mhhhhhhhhh?"

Varis - "Um...hello...Garan? Can you understand me?"

Garan - "Yhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Varis - "Oh...good. My name is Varis Stormglass and...

Cullus - "Dude don't give him your name!"

Varis - "The Lich King HAS my name. We talked at the Grand Convocation, remember? When the creepy little girl asked me how to kill a god?"

Cullus - "Oh yeah."

Varis - "Is your master home?"

Garan - "Nhhhhhhhhhhhh."

Varis - "Well...my party and I have come seeking an audience with the necromancer Kara Kessra. May we come in?"

Garan - "Yhhhhhhhhhhhh..."


As the zombie motioned for us to come inside, rose petals fell out of its sleeves as well as the cuffs of its pants. The foyer of the citadel could have been found in any large castles, stone walls, chandaliers and braziers on the walls, and stairways and archways beckoning to the unwary. The zombie raised one arm, pointed down what appeared to be the main hallway, and motioned for us to follow him. We made our way through the castle, which wasn't what we expected. The citadel of the Lich King looked like any other castle our party had ever been in, save for it being larger, darker, and mustier. There were bedrooms, common areas, and libraries that we passed by on our way to the end of the hallway. A large spiral staircase carved from obsidian ran the height of the castle, from the highest spire above us to the depths of the catacombs below. With another moan, the zombie descended the staircase and we followed it all the way to the bottom. Another large arch loomed before us and coming up the hallway beyond was a withered, emaciated figure.

quote:

Wight - "Garan, what are you doing! You can't be bringing strangers into the citadel! Especially when the master isn't home!"

Zombie - "Rhhhhhh? Mhhhhhh. Vhhhhhhhh."

Wight - "Oh. Oh, VARIS. And they're here to see HIM. That's completely different. Very well. Return to your duties."

Varis - "Um...thank you for the escort?"

Zombie - "Ywhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Wight - "So! Varis Stormglass. Welcome. My name is Boland, Grand Vizier to the Lich King. Please follow me. I'll take you as far as I can."

Varis - "Thank you. I have to ask though, how do you know my name?"

Boland - "Oh, the legend of the Lightning Lord has spread even down here to the Kingdom of the Frozen Dead."

Varis - "I...I don't...HOW?!?"

Boland - "Your words at the Convocation...interested my master, and he sought to learn more about you. The only reason you and your party and your party are allowed to walk these desecrated halls is that you provided him information that my master found most useful, and did so without attempting to bargain for your life or while grovelling before him. My master found such candor refreshing after all these years of dealing with the weak and the mortal. Your party may attempt to obtain what it is that you require from the tomb of Kara Kessra, but that is all. You may not wander the halls freely, you may not attempt to take anything or touch anything that does not pertain to your quest, and you may not harm any being in this citadel other than those associated with Kara Kessra and Sir Mulgryn."

Falinrae - "Sir Mulgryn?"

Boland - "He is the guardian of the tomb. None save my master may enter the tomb, and none save my master may leave the tomb. Believe me, once you meet Kara Kessra you will see why Sir Mulgryn's duties include making sure he never leaves. My master may be the personification of all that is unholy and vile upon this planet, however even he has his limits."


The party is brought before a door carved out of bronze. It's emblazoned with a family crest that none of us have ever seen before. The Wight motions to the door before bowing to us. "I will take my leave of you now. I wish you well upon your journeys, and that you live a full life until such time that it is snuffed out and your soul belongs to the Lich King." At this point, Falinrae motions to Varis.

quote:

Falinrae - "Hey Varis, isn't there someone you know who would absolutely DIE if they knew where you were standing right now?"

Varis - "..."

Falinrae - "The creepy Sorcerer from the Convocation?"

Varis - "OH! Nefaria Loathall!"

Falinrae - "You should call her and let her know where you are!"

Varis - "...she WOULD get a kick out of it."


As Varis pulls out the communication device given to him by the Circle of Seven, Falinrae turns to the vizier and smirks. "I cannot and will not break the rules laid down by your master but if I can't destory anything in this foul den of evil, at the very least I will do my level best to cause annoyance." Varis contacts Neferia and shows her where she is, causing her to practically gush with glee and ask for a souvenier of some sort for Varis to bring back. "We do not have a gift shop," the seneschal manages to sigh without working lungs. Falinrae suggests Varis take a selfie with Boland, who somehow manages to look even more depressed and emaciated as Varis uses the communication device to do so. "You would make a good Death Knight," Boland tells Falinrae, "but should we cross paths again I will do my best to ensure you are nothing more than a zombie working as a scullery maid, scrubbing pots and pans with your tongue until it rots off. And I would cast Inflict Wounds on you twice a day to ensure you will be doing so until this world comes to its entropic end."

*****

The bronze door led to a small throne room. Skeletons dressed in armor and clutching spears lined the walls of the room. The armor and spears were incredibly old, dating back to the era of the barbarians who used to wander the Frozen Wastes until the Lich King showed up to claim dominion over the land, but showed signs of being maintained and oiled over the centuries. Sitting in the middle of the room, a greatsword laid across his lap, was a figure clad in black armor. Both the sword and armor also looked well cared for, even as the runes carved on their surfaces glowed with a sickly eldritch green. As we entered, the figure stood up and took up a formal position in front of the throne, resting his hands on the pommel of his greatsword as he placed the tip against the cold stone floor. We all step forward ready to open up on the form, but Falinrae steps forward and motions for us to stay back. She approaches the form, her steely gaze meeting the red points of light that shine darkly from the depths of his helmet.






quote:

Mulgryn - "Greetings."

Falinrae - "Greetings to you as well, Sir Mulgryn."

Mulgryn - "It's been a very long time since anyone called me 'sir.' I am normally addressed as 'foul creature' or 'abomination.'"

Falinrae - "I admit that to my Order you are those things, but you earned the title 'sir' in life. Honor remains after death to nearly all."

Mulgryn - "Indeed. Whom do I address?"

Falinrae - "I am Sir Falinrae of the Order of the Silver Swan, sworn to the goddess Tulani. Whom do I address?"

Mulgryn - Sir Mulgryn, formerly of the Order of the Fallen Stone. What is your business?"

Falinrae - "My party and I see entrance to the tomb of Kara Kessra. May we pass, sir knight?"

Mulgryn - "None may pass save the one known as the Lich King, my eternal master, he who I am sworn to follow and protect. His word is binding."

Falinrae - "Our quest takes us past you and into the tomb. Is there no way to resolve this conflict without violence?"

Mulgryn - "None may pass save my master. If you wish to pass, you must defeat me."

Falinrae - "Then we have no choice but to draw steel against you. Prepare for battle sir knight."

Mulgryn - "Fairly met. I wish you well in your battles to come."


The fight boiled down to Falinrae and Mulgryn dueling one-on-one, Death Knight vs. Paladin, and it would have been really freakin' cool to sit back and watch if all the skeletons lining the walls hadn't animated into skeletal wariors and come after us. They were easy to dispatch, however when one fell another one would animate and come after us and being close to the Death Knight made them a little more robust and a little more resistant to our attacks. Still, we held them back as Falinrae managed to defeat the Death Knight, who fell after offering a final salute to the Paladin before turning into dust. Knowing however that he would eventually reconstitute himself and still be bound to his oath to the Lich King, we quickly healed up and pushed through the throne room, descending ancient stone steps into the tomb of Kara Kessra.

*****

Cullus - "I feel like we've just walked into the lair of a raid boss."



After climbing down a long passage that had been carved into the frozen tundra underneath the castle, the party found themselves in front of what was once an ornate chamber. The ruins of fine furs lined the walls while rusted weapons and armor sat in the alcoves among rolled-up scrolls faded by time and. In the middle of the room sits a pedestal with a skull sitting in the middle of it. Surrounding the pedestal was a 10 x 10 grid of numbered stone tiles. Varis was the one who stepped forward to get a closer look at the floor...



...and was instantly run over by a dwarven steamroller that had been lying in wait for the first idiot to step into the chamber proper.

As Varis pulls a Kevin Kline from A Fish Called Wanda, the skull on the pedestal lifts into the air. One eyes glows a pale green while the other takes on a fiery red hue. A mad, gleeful cackle fills the air as the high-pitched voice of the necromancer turned demilich grates on our ears.



quote:

"TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME TO PLAY"


Two shadowy forms stepped out the alcoves at this point - masses of black liquid that sucked the life out of anyone they managed to touch.



The way the fight broke down was as such. Each round, the DM rolled three sets of percentile dice. Whatever numbers he rolled were struck by a Lightning Bolt with the surrounding tiles hit by a Thunderwave. Anyone hit by the Thunderwave would get knocked back on a failed Constitution save. Anyone who got knocked onto the stone floors lining the edges of the room would draw the attention of the steamroller, which would move one "edge" in order to close in on them. Anyone who stepped on the stone floor by choice or stayed on the floor during its turn would also draw the attention of the steamroller in the same manner. If no one stepped on the stone floor, the steamroller would move in a random direction based on a die roll. Now add to this the fact that we were fighting a demilich with comes complete with lair actions in Fifth Edition AND a pedestal that was the focal point of a anti-magic bubble that didn't let magic in but let magic out...

The fight was a bundle of confusion, rapid movement, and praying to the gods of RNG. Taliesyn's soul ended up being pulled into the demilich's green eye via a twist on the magic jar spell, but it just gave her the opportunity to trash talk the demilich on her turn. It gave the demilich disadvantage on his Wisdom rolls which, to quote the DM, "determined whether or not he does something stupid" like leaving his anti-magic bubble out of hubris and pure insanity. It was easily the most chaotic fight we've had up to that point in the campaign.

quote:

Cullus - "Who the hell designs something like this?!?"

Kara Kessra - "When you're dead, you have lots of free time! And when you don't have a body, you can go anywhere in the universe! Other planes of existance! Other realities! I HAVE A MASTERS IN ENGINEERING FROM M.I.T, YOU HALF-WIT! AND BECAUSE I'M DISEMBODIED, I JUST AUDITED THE COURSES! WHAT THE HELL IS A STUDENT LOAN ANYWAY!"

The fight ended when Ksena rolled two Natural 20's on her hand-to-hand attacks, plucked the demilich's skull out of mid-air, and proceeded to smash it against the side of the pillar several times in a row. The skull exploded in a spray of bone, and two swings of Falinrae's Holy Avenger freed Taliesyn as the gemstone eyes of the demilich were shattered beyond repair. We determined that a tapestry outlining the deeds and actions Kara Kessra while it was alive was its phylactery, and a series of Fire Bolts put a permanent end to the necromancer's legacy.

But not before Varis almost fell to the most fiendish of all Dungeons and Dragons monsters, one who can threaten any character...



*****

Aeana stood on Taliesyn's shoulders as she reached out and took the shortbow from its place hovering over the (former) demilich's pedestal. We now had four of the five artifacts used by Az during his initial rebellion. All that was left for us was to catch our breath and teleport back to Highspire to find the resting place of the final artifact, the Spear of Az...

That's when Ksena's ring went off. A ring that was part of a pair, the other on the finger of her lover, a monk of the god Bile named Sarin. It allowed the two of them to know the general location and direction of their other half as well as their emotional state. And at the moment, Sarin's emotional state boiled down to four simple yet urgent words.

"Come. Quick. Bile. Az."

*****

And where, you may be asking, was the Lich King while were were inside of his citadel?

He was busy murdering the god of the undead.

VanSandman
Feb 16, 2011
SWAP.AVI EXCHANGER
These stories are always rad as gently caress.

Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


CobiWann posted:

But not before Varis almost fell to the most fiendish of all Dungeons and Dragons monsters, one who can threaten any character...



Best part of the session :3:

How many gods are left at this point?

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!

Kavak posted:

Best part of the session :3:

How many gods are left at this point?

Out of 18, 8 are confirmed dead and 1 is missing.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

CobiWann posted:


And where, you may be asking, was the Lich King while were were inside of his citadel?

He was busy murdering the god of the undead.

If the Lich King doesn't reanimate the corpse he's not a fit replacement.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

CobiWann posted:

Cullus - "Who the hell designs something like this?!?"

Kara Kessra - "When you're dead, you have lots of free time! And when you don't have a body, you can go anywhere in the universe! Other planes of existance! Other realities! I HAVE A MASTERS IN ENGINEERING FROM M.I.T, YOU HALF-WIT! AND BECAUSE I'M DISEMBODIED, I JUST AUDITED THE COURSES! WHAT THE HELL IS A STUDENT LOAN ANYWAY!"
Easily the best thing I have read in any of these threads. :allears:

Arthil
Feb 17, 2012

A Beard of Constant Sorrow

Yawgmoth posted:

Easily the best thing I have read in any of these threads. :allears:

Got some major Freeman's Mind vibes from that part and it made me grin like an idiot.

JUST MAKING CHILI
Feb 14, 2008
Grave wraiths are awesome minis! I just saw one on the reaper Facebook group recently and thought it was very cool.

CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!
A dark night. Mist drifts through an empty cemetary that holds plenty of room for the internment of the recently dead, even though no one has dared step foot inside the rusted iron gates in nearly three centuries. On this evening, soft footsteps and a empty whisper on the wind herald the arrival of several twisted, grotesque creatures bent on gaining entry to a tomb once abandoned, the letters "LM" carved into the moss-covered stone...







The DM opened this session with a twist. Each player was given a minion of the Lich King to play - a revenant, a banshee, a ghast, a wight, a vampire spawn, and a spectre. We tore our way into a tomb full of cultists and necromancers, proceeding to simply rip them apart in an absolutely gleeful manner by totally indulging in all the abilities and powers that we as players HATE about the undead. One of the cultists managed to flee to the back of the tomb and pounded on a stone door, screaming "MASTER! SAVE US!" He didn't last much longer, but his cries for help did see the door roll open. From the depths of the tomb came a hunched-over human in a deep black cloak, who held his skull-topped staff aloft and paralyzed all of the undead with a wave of powerful negative energy.



As the figure looked around the tomb at the remnants of his followers, an aura of fear so cold rolled into the tomb, causing even the paralyzed undead to shiven in the depths of their empty souls. Echoing footsteps heralded the arrival of one of the most vile creatures to walk the lands of Tanicus.




For a brief moment, the being once known as the arch-necromancer Lorcan Morvaine but now known as the Lich King stood face-to-face with Qord, the Vile Betrayer, god of greed, decay, and the undead.

*****

quote:

The Lich King - "Well played. Choosing my mortal tomb as your hiding place."

Qord - "You've run from your mortal name for so long Morvaine, I figured you would never think to look here."

The Lich King - "Do not call me by that name. You know my name."

Qord - "And I will never say it. I recognize no king, especially once who has crowned himself."

The Lich King - "I took my crown. I was not handed it by simple birthright."

Qord - "Still prideful. Still full of hubris. You are nothing to me. I have been around since before this world existed. You are nothing more than a jumped-up lich with delusions of adequacy. You cannot defeat me. Walk away now before I end your existance."

The Lich King - "No."


The Lich King stepped forward. Qord lifted his staff to blast him...only for the Lich King to swing his own staff and smash the skull atop Qord's with one strike. Apprehension crossed Qord's face as he stepped backwards, the Lich King matching him step for step.

quote:

The Lich King - "I know your secret Qord. You are mortal. And I fear no mortal."

Qord - "You cannot kill me. You are not an archangel."

The Lich King - "I do not need to be an archangel. You are mortal. All I need to end you is the will."

Qord - "Come then. End my existance. But my godsparks will never belong to you. You are not a divine creature. You will never become the god of the undead."

The Lich King - "A god? I am the Lich King. Why would I lower myself to become a god?"

At this, Qord's eyes went wide, and he fell to the floor with fear and understanding at the Lich King's plan. With a wave of his staff, the Lich King freed his minions from their paralysis. Qord screamed as they all advanced on him, claws and spectral fingers ripping him apart. The Lich King watched as the three godsparks erupted from the bloody remains of what was once the god of the undead...

...and as two of the godsparks flew past him, he lashed out with supernatural speed and snatched them out of the air with one hand. They danced in his clenched fist, attempting to complete their assigned tasks to find Qord's faithful.

Instead, the Lich King crushed the godsparks in his hand, snuffing their divine power out of existance.

The remaining godspark, however, remained out of the Lich King's reach. Instead, it shot directly into the floor of the tomb, vanishing among the stone and dirt. The Lich King looked at the divine trail it left as what passed for a smile crossed his face.

quote:

"Two down."

Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
This guy, I like.

NinjaDebugger
Apr 22, 2008


Bieeardo posted:

This guy, I like.

Same. Every setting can be improved by the presence of militant atheists.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

NinjaDebugger posted:

Same. Every setting can be improved by the presence of militant atheists.

What better way to prove there are no gods than to kill them all?

ArkInBlack
Mar 22, 2013

the_steve posted:

What better way to prove there are no gods than to kill them all?

It's not a statement of fact it's a statement of intent

Ignite Memories
Feb 27, 2005

Well, there's my next character for ya.

Razorwired
Dec 7, 2008

It's about to start!

NinjaDebugger posted:

Same. Every setting can be improved by the presence of militant atheists.

Works for Godsfall.

Bubblyblubber
Nov 17, 2014
Through the magic of 3d printing, dobster lives!



I still had to clean him up a bit, too much stringing I can't get rid of.

Also here's the power duo:



The group is now discussing buying dobster platemail barding. I've tried arguing that he can't actually handle the weight of it, but that turned it into buffing dobster's strength until he can.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Bubblyblubber posted:

Through the magic of 3d printing, dobster lives!



I still had to clean him up a bit, too much stringing I can't get rid of.

Also here's the power duo:



The group is now discussing buying dobster platemail barding. I've tried arguing that he can't actually handle the weight of it, but that turned it into buffing dobster's strength until he can.

It would actually be pretty interesting to use a 3D printer to make custom miniatures specific to your game.

kaffo
Jun 20, 2017

If it's broken, it's probably my fault

chitoryu12 posted:

It would actually be pretty interesting to use a 3D printer to make custom miniatures specific to your game.

It's a shame the 3D modelling part is so time/skill intensive
I've looked into it before and it's not trivial

Dareon
Apr 6, 2009

by vyelkin

kaffo posted:

It's a shame the 3D modelling part is so time/skill intensive
I've looked into it before and it's not trivial

There are some VR games that let you shape a virtual object like a ball of clay, I'd be surprised if some utility to turn those files into more conventional 3d modeling files didn't exist.

JUST MAKING CHILI
Feb 14, 2008
One of the guys in my Saturday group has a 3d printer he's used to make a lot of minis for our game. There's a lot of free models available, so you don't need any skill for making custom ones unless you have a dobster idea in your head.

kaffo
Jun 20, 2017

If it's broken, it's probably my fault

Dareon posted:

There are some VR games that let you shape a virtual object like a ball of clay, I'd be surprised if some utility to turn those files into more conventional 3d modeling files didn't exist.

While I actually have a Vive and know the software you're talking about, I struggle to draw stick figures and have the artistic talent of a 4 year old after drinking a crate of cola :smith:

But yeah, someone who's not as poo poo as me could probably do a great job of it, I just really wish I was better at it

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Bubblyblubber
Nov 17, 2014

chitoryu12 posted:

It would actually be pretty interesting to use a 3D printer to make custom miniatures specific to your game.

That's what I do, if you guys'd like I can take pictures of the range I've printed so far for this campaign.


kaffo posted:

It's a shame the 3D modelling part is so time/skill intensive
I've looked into it before and it's not trivial

I mean, I've managed to pick up the basics of blender and general topology while working as a lab tech. Now that I'm a full time teacher I definitely have less free time on the clock, but it still doesn't really take that long to mash pre-made elements together and pose simple models.

The biggest lesson was that unless you're dropping some serious cash on an mid-to-upper tier SLA printer, the level of detail you can manage is surprisingly fine but, at the same time, not even close to actual, plastic injected, properly molded miniatures. So no worrying about facial details, just rough mouth shapes and eye sockets, and also getting chainmail to actually register is a gently caress.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • Post
  • Reply