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 Dad Tip #28: Always check the card reader at ATMs before you swipe. Last time, John the Dad met Robert at the Bar while drinking a Beer and watching the Game. They decided to go at the same time, and on the way out, Robert made a Proposition...    "Well... I don't see why not."That sounded smoother in my head.  "Let's do it."Well, at least they're about equal when it comes to smoof lines. Robert: "Come on." That's right, you don't see Robert during this section. Why? ...I don't know. Robert takes my hand and leads me up the stairs and into what I assume is his bedroom, but it's so dark that I can't see anything but Robert's intense expression. He kisses me again and I can hear him shucking off his jacket. I clumsily take off mine too. His hands roam down my chest and suddenly he's tugging at my belt.  Robert: "Do you want to stop?"  Robert: "Good." Remember, folks, consent is sexy!  Robert continues to unbuckle my belt and guides me to the bed. Robert: "Let's have some fun."   ...oh. Right. I look around for Robert, but find myself alone. "Hello?"There's a clatter from the bathroom and the door opens. Robert is fully dressed and grabs his keys.  "Yeah, it was." That's certainly not what I was expecting. Did you think Bad Dad was going to make you breakfast? C'mon, son. "Well uh, talk to you later?"Robert cracks a smile.  I hastily get dressed and show myself out. The sun is unbearably bright. I need to lie down. I start to make my way back home when I suddenly remember-- "Amanda!" Look at that achievement! "Amanda?"  "Aw man. I was kinda hoping you had gotten kidnapped and I was gonna have to come rescue you." "No, I uh... made a friend at the bar last night and ended up sleeping over at... his place."Where are The Emmas?"  "They left a little while ago." "Oh. You guys have fun?" "Yeah! Watched some movies. Ate snacks. Stole a car. You know, usual sleepover stuff." "You teens and your larceny."Grand larceny! I'm glad she's not starting out with something small, like shoplifting. Dream big! "So... this breakfast that's cooking. What's that all about." "Can I--?" "Yes, you can have some breakfast." "Bless you sweet child."My head throbs. Ugh, I gotta do something about this hangover. "Amanda... your loving Father might have overdone it last night." "Ooooh, somebody's hungover." "Father of the year."You wouldn't happen to have any aspirin, or...?"  Amanda runs to the fridge and pulls out a jar of pickles. "Amanda, what?" "Drink this." "The pickle juice?"  "Although I've never tried it before. And won't try it. Obviously."  "Right."Um. "Do as I say, not as I do." "You got it." "This better work."I down a sip of the tart juice. "No no, more than that. Way more than that." "Watch it, you."I drink more pickle juice and help myself to the delicious breakfast that Amanda has graciously allowed me to partake in. After inhaling some hash browns and dunking several pieces of bacon into runny egg yolk, I'm starting to feel a little better. Amanda grabs her backpack and keys.  "Welp, I gotta get to class. Don't forget the meeting with Mr. Vega, okay? He said it was important. Love ya!" "I'll be there. Knock 'em dead, kiddo." We do our secret handshake and she's off. I get a little work done at home before I glance at my watch and see that it's almost time for the meeting. I hop in the shower, change clothes, and head on my way, still a little hung over. 
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Nov 14, 2017 19:16
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 11:24 |
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Yay an update 
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Nov 14, 2017 19:24
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:Yay an update I'm just spacing 'em out super long so as to lower everyone's expectations... yeah, that's it!  vvv 
POOL IS CLOSED fucked around with this message at 20:41 on Nov 14, 2017 |
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Nov 14, 2017 20:31
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dad back, so what Please don't be discouraged, and keep it up.
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Nov 14, 2017 20:32
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LP Tip #1: Nobody cares how long it's been since last update, they're just happy you're updating again! 
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Nov 14, 2017 21:50
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You just wanted to make sure we really got the sexual tension
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Nov 14, 2017 22:07
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Slaan posted:You just wanted to make sure we really got the sexual tension Shoulda included antici.... in that long ago update. What a missed opportunity!
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Nov 14, 2017 22:34
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 Dad Tip #58: Practice makes permanent.  I'm barely awake and feeling pretty haggard, but hopefully nobody will notice. I check my watch and am relieved to see that I'm only two minutes late. Wait. Was it room 103 or 108? I spot a Youth standing at his locker and approach him for help. "Excuse me, do you know where Mr. Vega's classroom is?"  "Sigh..." "Come on kid, I'm late for a meeting." "Mr. Who?" "Mr. Vega." "Okay wise guy, are you gonna help me or not?" "Sigh... fine. Up those stairs and to the left. Can't miss him."I head up the stairs and walk around, unable to find Mr. Vega's class anywhere. After a couple minutes of searching I head back downstairs. That punk Youth sent me on a wild goose chase. I get back to where that low rent Gerard Way is standing, fully ready to give him a piece of my mind, when suddenly a head pops out of the classroom next to his locker.  "Sigh... fine Mr. Vega."WOW. I know! So many missing commas lately! Now I'm officially ten minutes late. I glare at him as he walks away. "We're not cool."   "Alright, where were we. Now who can tell me about the unreliability of the narrator in J.D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye?"Yes, Colin?" Colin stands up and does the thing where he blows into the crook of his elbow to make a fart noise. The whole class erupts in laughter. Indeed. Actually, my school district didn't permit Catcher in the Rye to be taught in class, though it wasn't purged from the library.  "Alright, alright everybody. Very funny, Colin. Please sit down." The bell for the end of the period rings. All of the students immediately get up and make a break for the door.  "Remember to do the reading and answer the response questions on page 194 in your textbook--!"Nobody's listening. "Or not, I guess." "Middle schoolers, right?" "Don't you teach high schoolers?" "Right." "Thanks so much for coming in." "No problem... Mr. Vega." "Please, call me Hugo." "What's going on?" "Amanda has never been the most... engaged... student, but I know she cares. Recently, though, she's been falling behind. She's not completing assignments and has been doing rather poorly on tests. I'd normally chalk this up to senioritis, but..."This is strange, I thought Amanda always shared everything with me. It hadn't even crossed my mind that something might be wrong. "I just wanted to ask -- is everything okay at home?" "Well, we just moved recently. But it was only to the other side of town and Amanda was more excited about it than I was." "See if you can talk to her about it. I know she values you a great deal and would appreciate your guidance. If she keeps heading down this road..."I know how important art school is to her and I would hate to see her miss out on scholarship money that she clearly deserves." "I'll make sure to talk to Amanda. Thanks for letting me know, Hugo." On my way out I stop, thinking for a moment. I turn to Hugo. "Hey, Hugo?" "Yes?" "They ever catch that Rye?" "..."  Amanda must be done with classes for the day by now. I'm sure she would appreciate a ride home, and maybe I can talk to her about what's going on... Well, class, what do we think about Hugo? In a romance context, he provides the Hot for Teacher trope without implementing the nastiness of a real teacher-student relationship. Power dynamics in romance still often tend towards the regressive -- though I think these days more writers are aware of it even as they cater to the fantasies of their readerships. That awareness rarely colors their works, though, so it's hard to call those stories transgressive. But moving on... Thanks to Hugo, we know something's going on with Amanda. What do you think is the deal?
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Nov 29, 2017 22:27
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...Lucien isn't going to turn out to be, like, a teenaged single dad, right? Because that would be squicky. Amanda is clearly too busy to focus on her schoolwork, what with all the running around behind the scenes to set us up with all these hot dads that she's been doing.
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Nov 29, 2017 22:49
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TooMuchAbstraction posted:...Lucien isn't going to turn out to be, like, a teenaged single dad, right? Because that would be squicky. I think it's safe for me to spoil that no, Lucien is neither a dad nor a romance-able option. That would be a bridge too far for me!
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Nov 29, 2017 23:04
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I vote for Hugo. Let's marry Hugo 
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Nov 29, 2017 23:09
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oh god, Lucien is the son of one of our eligible dads, isn't he.
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Nov 29, 2017 23:12
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Something about Hugo's combination of moustache+glasses and classic teacher suit strikes me in a way that I can't define. Is my sexual identity safe? 
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Nov 29, 2017 23:40
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Surrender to love. At least we know that Hugo is concerned about Amanda's wellbeing. Plus he rocks that hair bun.
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Nov 30, 2017 01:34
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Hugo is the dreamiest dad so far.
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Nov 30, 2017 05:16
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Hookup with Hugo, make Robert jealous.
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Nov 30, 2017 05:42
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that mustache? seriously?
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Nov 30, 2017 08:38
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Watermelon Daiquiri posted:that mustache? seriously? I'd normally hate that moustache, but Hugo fuckin makes it work somehow.
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Nov 30, 2017 10:29
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Like a more sophisticated Tom selleck.
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Nov 30, 2017 12:26
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I worry that trying to date Amanda's teacher right now will just exacerbate the issues that she's displaying, though. We should hold off on any decision on that front until we talk to Amanda!
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Nov 30, 2017 22:47
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I am honestly having so much trouble taking any choices seriously in this LP due to the way our character looks.
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Dec 1, 2017 09:57
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Hugo is incredibly dreamy and even his strangely lower quality voice clips can't ruin that.
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Dec 1, 2017 14:46
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Thesaya posted:I am honestly having so much trouble taking any choices seriously in this LP due to the way our character looks. If you can't take this LP seriously, young person, then you can go to your room.
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Dec 1, 2017 15:28
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Thesaya posted:I am honestly having so much trouble taking any choices seriously in this LP due to the way our character looks. What can be more serious than our Great Leader Kim John-Dad?
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Dec 1, 2017 16:10
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Our dad is beautiful, but if you believe you can do better, post your best dad jokes. I will be reading them to a real, live dad, who will determine a winner.
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Dec 1, 2017 17:35
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What did Batman tell Robin before they entered the Batmobile? - "Robin get in the car" 
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Dec 1, 2017 17:43
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Dallbun posted:If you can't take this LP seriously, young person, then you can go to your room. Shame there doesn't seem to be a lesbian version of this game with mom jokes.
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Dec 1, 2017 17:45
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Cythereal posted:Shame there doesn't seem to be a lesbian version of this game with mom jokes. Don't tempt me!
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Dec 1, 2017 17:53
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:Our dad is beautiful, but if you believe you can do better, post your best dad jokes. What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue? You can tuna piano, but you can't piano tuna.
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Dec 1, 2017 18:20
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Stroth posted:What's the difference between a piano, a tuna and a pot of glue? Okay I'll bite. What about the pot of glue?
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Dec 1, 2017 19:26
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I was on holiday in Mersey last year and went into a tea shop for a cuppa. They suggested I try their local speciality, a blend called Koala. I'm always up for trying something new, but when the tea arrived it had loads of bits of tea leaf floating in it that made it hard to drink. "What's up with all these leaves?" I asked. "Ah, well, you see," explained the proprietor, "The Koala tea of Mersey is not strained."
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Dec 1, 2017 19:33
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 Omigod that was DAD in an excruciating amount.
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Dec 1, 2017 19:35
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Maugrim posted:I was on holiday in Mersey last year and went into a tea shop for a cuppa. They suggested I try their local speciality, a blend called Koala. I'm always up for trying something new, but when the tea arrived it had loads of bits of tea leaf floating in it that made it hard to drink.  That's like pastor dad levels of dad joke.
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Dec 1, 2017 19:36
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:Don't tempt me! I've looked, no dice as of yet. 
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Dec 1, 2017 19:38
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Cythereal posted:I've looked, no dice as of yet. I meant to write it. 
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Dec 1, 2017 19:38
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Maugrim posted:Okay I'll bite. What about the pot of glue? I knew you’d get stuck on that one.
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Dec 1, 2017 20:57
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Stroth posted:I knew you’d get stuck on that one. 
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Dec 1, 2017 20:59
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Cythereal posted:Shame there doesn't seem to be a lesbian version of this game with mom jokes. What's the essential difference between a dad joke and a mom joke?
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Dec 1, 2017 21:09
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Scientists discovered what's in the center of Jupiter. Turns out it's the letter i.
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Dec 1, 2017 21:29
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 11:24 |
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Dallbun posted:What's the essential difference between a dad joke and a mom joke? Subject matter and tone, primarily. A good mom joke in my experience is always chiding of someone or some form of behavior, whether gently or more sharply, and often about subjects like fashion, classical theater, and actors.
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Dec 1, 2017 21:51
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