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Kindest Forums User
Mar 25, 2008

Let me tell you about my opinion about Bernie Sanders and why Donald Trump is his true successor.

You cannot vote Hillary Clinton because she is worse than Trump.
Vegetarian friendly cheese has got to be the dumbest poo poo I've ever heard.

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ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth

Minge Binge posted:

Vegetarian friendly cheese has got to be the dumbest poo poo I've ever heard.

wait, is cheese not vegetarian anymore?

the bitcoin of weed
Nov 1, 2014

its the same idea as putting gluten free on lunchmeat

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

the bitcoin of weed posted:

its the same idea as putting gluten free on lunchmeat

You wouldn't want them to be gluten shamed would you?

quote:

When I arrived at the liquor store to grab a bottle and some ginger beer to make Moscow Mules for my parents, I found the Chopin shelf empty. I didn’t know what else to get, so I asked the man working at the store for help.

“Do you happen to know if there are any other vodkas here that aren’t made from grains with gluten?” I asked.

That’s when he gave me that look. Those of you who are gluten-free know that look. The one that says, “Oh, great. Another hypochondriac, fad-loving idiot.”

He tilted his head at me and said, “I’ll tell you which ones if you answer this question for me.”

I smiled. I don’t know why I smiled. I think I thought he was being friendly and might challenge me to a riddle. He seemed like a quirky guy and I’m a good sport, so I said sure. I’ve never gotten a riddle right once in my life, but I’ll usually venture a guess.

“People who are allergic to gluten are actually allergic to what?” he asked.

“Wheat, rye, and barley, mostly,” I said, feeling quite proud. If this was a riddle, it was an easy one, and it actually seemed like something he’d need to know to help me find the right vodka.

“That’s right. But I mean, what protein?” he asked with one evil eyebrow raised.

“I guess the gluten protein in the grain,” I said.

“Okay then, what are the two proteins that make up gluten?”

I scrunched up my face, trying to figure out exactly why he needed this information. Did he know which proteins were in which vodkas? Were there proteins in vodka in the first place?

“I don’t know,” I said honestly.

He cackled and mashed his lips together in a “gotcha” smirk. “And why do you think you need gluten-free vodka?” he asked, his glasses sliding down his nose, aimed at me.

“Because I’m a Celiac. I can’t have gluten,” I said as I picked up my phone and started googling “gluten free vodkas," wondering why I hadn’t just done that in the first place.

“If you are indeed a Celiac,” he said, tapping his fingertips together like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons, “then why don’t you know what you’re actually allergic to?”

Oh, I get it! I thought, as a layer of shame-sweat covered face. He’s telling me I’m full of poo poo. He’s saying I’m an rear end in a top hat for asking about gluten.

I don’t know why I didn’t just walk out of there, but if I’m being totally honest with myself, it’s because I’m terrified of upsetting men I don’t know. I don’t have this problem online, but in person I sometimes freeze when stared down by a man.

I wasn’t afraid he would hurt me, I was afraid he wouldn’t like me. I was afraid he would think I was a bitch if I didn’t laugh along with him. I was afraid he’d think I was lying.

I should have told him he had no right to judge me, and that his only job was to assist me in my purchase. I should have told him that unless he was interviewing me for a life insurance plan, asking questions about my medical history was rude, intrusive, and obnoxious as hell. I should’ve asked him when his last prostate exam was, just to show him how it felt.

“You know why I don’t know the names of the two proteins in gluten?” I should’ve yelled. “Because it’s been almost twenty years since I was diagnosed. Twenty years. That’s a full Bieber!”

But I didn’t. I looked down at my phone, fingers shaking, and discovered that Ciroc was also made without gluten-containing grains and grabbed a bottle, heading toward the cash register. I even said “thank you” to that rear end in a top hat.

mbt
Aug 13, 2012

"A full Bieber"
I don't think I've ever turned on anyone so fast

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

ate poo poo on live tv posted:

wait, is cheese not vegetarian anymore?

a lot of it contains rennet, which comes destructively from cows

Man Musk
Jan 13, 2010

https://twitter.com/McDonaldsCorp/status/933938231472771072

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

sir, this is a mcdonald's social media account

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

This tweet on its own is completely innocuous, the offensive part are the cohorts of social media experts in the comments trying to justify and use their "expertise, "acting all smug and important about corporate tweeting strategies and the significance this tweet will have on the future of the free world.

Society has fully crawled up its own rear end.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

Blue Train posted:

You wouldn't want them to be gluten shamed would you?
this reads like a copypaste of the marine shaming the marxist professor, complete with its own version of "he said, very jewishly"

ScrubLeague
Feb 11, 2007

Nap Ghost

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

the big bang theory and philosophy

some plague rats
Jun 5, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

get that OUT of my face posted:

this reads like a copypaste of the marine shaming the marxist professor, complete with its own version of "he said, very jewishly"

Personally I want to believe there's some guy at a liquor store somewhere just doing savage owns on celiacs, that shits hilarious

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009


The person who writes the tweets doesn't tweet them? Very inefficient.

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

the big bang theory and phrenology

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

super sweet best pal posted:

The person who writes the tweets doesn't tweet them? Very inefficient.

It's why China will overtake the US within 25 years and also yet another example of the failures capitalism

Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Crane Fist posted:

Personally I want to believe there's some guy at a liquor store somewhere just doing savage owns on celiacs, that shits hilarious

Anyone who works at a liquor store has learned to never ask any questions they're not legally required to, the hard way

Relin
Oct 6, 2002

You have been a most worthy adversary, but in every game, there are winners and there are losers. And as you know, in this game, losers get robotizicized!

Subjunctive posted:

a lot of it contains rennet, which comes destructively from cows
no one tell vegans how many animal products go into electronics and medicine

scratch that. do tell them. all the time.

the bitcoin of weed
Nov 1, 2014

if you're a diabetic vegan do you have any choice but to immediately die

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

the bitcoin of weed posted:

if you're a diabetic vegan do you have any choice but to immediately die

Slowly die
Excruciatingly die
Die from poverty due to trying to synthesize/source your own synthetic insulin
die from the concentrated pseudo woo you intake on an hourly basis
Die from AIDS

fabergay egg
Mar 1, 2012

it's not a rhetorical question, for politely saying 'you are an idiot, you don't know what you are talking about'


are bacteria not vegan now?

TomViolence
Feb 19, 2013

PLEASE ASK ABOUT MY 80,000 WORD WALLACE AND GROMIT SLASH FICTION. PLEASE.

If you're serious about veganism and the non-anthropocentric green politics it implies, genuinely the most ethical choice you can make is to die.

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

TomViolence posted:

If you're serious about veganism and the non-anthropocentric green politics it implies, genuinely the most ethical choice you can make is to die.
fuckin brutal, sign me up

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde

Relin posted:

no one tell vegans how many animal products go into electronics and medicine

scratch that. do tell them. all the time.

also how leather is one of the greenest materials there is particularly due to its durability

and that leather and fur both demand humane conditions for the animals since if you don’t it quickly fucks up the product

crazy cloud
Nov 7, 2012

by Cyrano4747
Lipstick Apathy

TomViolence posted:

If you're serious about veganism and the non-anthropocentric green politics it implies, genuinely the most ethical choice you can make is to die.

True even without the pre comma qualifier

some plague rats
Jun 5, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Inescapable Duck posted:

Anyone who works at a liquor store has learned to never ask any questions they're not legally required to, the hard way

That's an extremely good point actually yeah

get that OUT of my face
Feb 10, 2007

update: my friend is at some Teen Vogue gathering in LA which is dedicated to political activism, and they had hillary as a speaking guest. in the near future, i hope it becomes fashionable for magazines and websites to just stay in their loving lane. it never ends well when they go woke

Taintrunner
Apr 10, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

get that OUT of my face posted:

update: my friend is at some Teen Vogue gathering in LA which is dedicated to political activism, and they had hillary as a speaking guest. in the near future, i hope it becomes fashionable for magazines and websites to just stay in their loving lane. it never ends well when they go woke

love to be an activist for the system that rewards a few stern looking white women that leaned in from their ivory tower built on the backs of an exploited many

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747
hilary didnt have time foe the women march but she has time for vogue?

Dapper_Swindler
Feb 14, 2012

Im glad my instant dislike in you has been validated again and again.

got any sevens posted:

hilary didnt have time foe the women march but she has time for vogue?

well you see then its about HER.

The_Rob
Feb 1, 2007

Blah blah blah blah!!

got any sevens posted:

hilary didnt have time foe the women march but she has time for vogue?

vogue probably paid.

MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos

The_Rob posted:

vogue paid.

Shear Modulus
Jun 9, 2010



lmao hillary ain't doing appearances for free

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007

Shear Modulus posted:

lmao hillary ain't doing appearances for free

You get that money Hillary!

etalian
Mar 20, 2006

Shear Modulus posted:

lmao hillary ain't doing appearances for free

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747
Celebrity 'charity': A gift for a vicious system http://aje.io/f8duf

1994 Toyota Celica
Sep 11, 2008

by Nyc_Tattoo

TomViolence posted:

If you're serious about veganism and the non-anthropocentric green politics it implies, genuinely the most ethical choice you can make is to die.

wrong, it's to kill

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012

https://twitter.com/ZaidJilani/status/937870498863767552

ate shit on live tv
Feb 15, 2004

by Azathoth

got any sevens posted:

Celebrity 'charity': A gift for a vicious system http://aje.io/f8duf

A good article.

Ytlaya
Nov 13, 2005

get that OUT of my face posted:

this reads like a copypaste of the marine shaming the marxist professor, complete with its own version of "he said, very jewishly"

You know, part of me wants to believe it because it actually ended realistically - with the protagonist just awkwardly fidgeting with their phone and politely saying "thank you." Like, they actually admitted that they didn't make a badass retort and only imagined it later. That is pretty rare for stdh.txt stories.

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Vox Nihili
May 28, 2008

Sheng-Ji Yang posted:

Last year Erin Bligh, the proprietor of Dancing Goats Dairy in Newbury, Mass., planned to introduce a new cheese — hard, with spicy peppers — called Madam President, in what she assumed would be a fromage homage to a historic election.

Then came the unexpected result: hard cheese indeed, in the Evelyn Waugh sense of the phrase.

“I’m like, ‘Oh drat, this is awful,’” said Ms. Bligh, 29, who has four full-time employees overseeing a herd of 45 goats. She renamed the cheese General Leia Organa, after the Rebel Alliance leader in “Star Wars,” and sent chunks to fortify friends attending the women’s march in Boston. “This is my small piece of the resistance,” a local customer told her, brandishing a wedge.

I hope Disney sues the hell out of her.

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