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Renegret posted:The clip on my badge broke, so now I just leave it in my back pocket because I'm too lazy to get a new one. 
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Dec 7, 2017 19:21
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Dr. Arbitrary posted:In my mind, you're literally a dog, Well, that's weird but Renegret posted:Whenever I have to swipe myself in, I rub my butt up against the card reader until it registers. it checks out.
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Dec 7, 2017 19:21
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Renegret posted:Whenever I have to swipe myself in, I rub my butt up against the card reader until it registers. Sometimes I put the card in the wrong pocket and I'm left rubbing my left butt cheek up against the card reader with nothing happening while I get looks like I'm a sexual deviant or something. it's two laughs for the price of one
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Dec 7, 2017 20:02
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 That's a really optimistic way of saying they got sixteen people's worth of genome data. Also, I have trouble taking something called "FinnGen" seriously.
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Dec 7, 2017 20:13
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C-Euro posted:lol I just watched our on-site HR rep try to steal someone's lunch. How exactly does one “try” to steal a lunch? Did they get busted, chicken out? We need details on this. Cant spell “how come we can’t use indentured servants?” without HR.
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Dec 7, 2017 20:41
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Tnuctip posted:How exactly does one “try” to steal a lunch? Did they get busted, chicken out? We need details on this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQiDzSWLIm4
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Dec 7, 2017 20:58
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so I could say that I finally figured out what this god damned cube is doing. Get well Lowtax.
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Tnuctip posted:How exactly does one “try” to steal a lunch? Did they get busted, chicken out? We need details on this. My employer provides lunch to all of its employees (one of the few genuinely good things about working here), and for the secondary site where I work this involves boxing up a couple hundred lunches at the main site half an hour away and driving them over here before lunch. There's about a dozen people on the floor where I work (including HR person) so we take turns picking up lunches for the whole floor during the week. Today was my turn and I asked everyone here if they wanted a lunch, and HR said no. I pick up exactly how many I need for my floor and bring them back. Later I'm eating lunch and HR walks in and is about to grab one, which means someone who did request a lunch would get shafted, except she looked at it and realized she didn't actually want to eat it. This wouldn't be a big deal except I usually eat lunch fairly late, and half the time I request a lunch there isn't one waiting for me and I have to go get it myself even though I said "hey please get me one". I used to think whoever was picking them up was just dumb but now I'm wondering if this rear end in a top hat is stealing mine (and others'!) on the semi-reg.
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Dec 7, 2017 20:59
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C-Euro posted:My employer provides lunch to all of its employees (one of the few genuinely good things about working here), and for the secondary site where I work this involves boxing up a couple hundred lunches at the main site half an hour away and driving them over here before lunch. There's about a dozen people on the floor where I work (including HR person) so we take turns picking up lunches for the whole floor during the week. Today was my turn and I asked everyone here if they wanted a lunch, and HR said no. I pick up exactly how many I need for my floor and bring them back. Later I'm eating lunch and HR walks in and is about to grab one, which means someone who did request a lunch would get shafted, except she looked at it and realized she didn't actually want to eat it. Sounds like you need to establish some reserves to cover all your potential liabilities (order more)
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Dec 7, 2017 21:11
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So I was screwing around on Shodan for lunch trying to build better searches and randomly decided to do a search for Port 8999 in my area. Found a computer running it near my building (which is the only building nearby), running on my ISP, with the same broadcast IP as I have. Being that there were only a handful of people in the office at that time (and it is doubtful that any of them knew would know what a bitcoin is), I looked around the vacant offices to see if someone was being bold. Once our IT guy got back I showed him what I found and he opened the telco closet (which ofcourse is the backup storage closet). We spent a while tracing cables, then in one the drop ceiling we found an old company laptop running the miner. I thought it was hilarious, the IT guy did not think it was funny. He accused me of hacking and claimed that I set it up so I could steal from the company. I called my boss about it, he laughed and figured it was one of the IT guys they fired over a year ago. But then HR just contacted me about stealing from the company. So now I get the honor of explaining cybersecurity to my HR department.
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Dec 7, 2017 21:30
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Renegret posted:The clip on my badge broke, so now I just leave it in my back pocket because I'm too lazy to get a new one. Wear it in your front pocket and dry hump the reader while remaining eye contact until the door opens.
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Dec 7, 2017 21:32
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fastbilly1 posted:So I was screwing around on Shodan for lunch trying to build better searches and randomly decided to do a search for Port 8999 in my area. Found a computer running it near my building (which is the only building nearby), running on my ISP, with the same broadcast IP as I have. Being that there were only a handful of people in the office at that time (and it is doubtful that any of them knew would know what a bitcoin is), I looked around the vacant offices to see if someone was being bold. Once our IT guy got back I showed him what I found and he opened the telco closet (which ofcourse is the backup storage closet). We spent a while tracing cables, then in one the drop ceiling we found an old company laptop running the miner. He thinks the guy who reported it is the guy who was running it? Uuhhhhh
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Dec 7, 2017 22:39
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Sundae posted:
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Dec 7, 2017 22:42
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Jordan7hm posted:He thinks the guy who reported it is the guy who was running it? Gonna guess the IT guy was running it and is pissed he got caught.
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Dec 7, 2017 22:46
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Jordan7hm posted:He thinks the guy who reported it is the guy who was running it? It's the perfect crime!
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Dec 7, 2017 22:50
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Even if he wasn't, the situation of 'random dude uncovered situation IT was oblivious to' doesn't play well for him.
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Dec 7, 2017 22:51
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Sounds like it's the IT guy's laptop. Edit: Beaten.
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Dec 7, 2017 23:01
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So I was told to bring home my copy of the Recall Roster in case the government shuts down tonight. Now I'm trying to decide whether to buy the vegetable tray I'm supposed to bring in for our stupid Xmas carry-in tomorrow, or wait and see if I don't have to go in.
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Dec 8, 2017 02:10
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Cat Army
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MightyJoe36 posted:So I was told to bring home my copy of the Recall Roster in case the government shuts down tonight. Get the tray.
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Dec 8, 2017 02:25
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Renegret posted:Hello stranger who rudely said "YOU'RE WELCOME" after I remained silent after you held open a badge controlled door for me. You should try being the person that your dog avatar thinks that you are instead.
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Dec 8, 2017 02:44
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Volmarias posted:You should try being the person that your rotating menagerie of dog avatars thinks that you are instead. I can't go around licking everyone's face I'll get fired <  >
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Dec 8, 2017 02:45
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Renegret posted:I can't go around licking everyone's face I'll get fired < Sniff their crotches instead.
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Dec 8, 2017 03:07
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MightyJoe36 posted:So I was told to bring home my copy of the Recall Roster in case the government shuts down tonight. P sure the 2week cr passed so pony up for veggies
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Dec 8, 2017 03:17
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therobit posted:Sniff their crotches instead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OJWxKMaKIA
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Dec 8, 2017 04:20
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cool when I get sent a jira login and no explanation whatsoever why I'm supposed to have it. Like I know how to use Jira, on a very basic level. I'm not on the systems engineering side of things so I'm not fixing the problems, but I know how to at least post useful info to new issues and make sure I'm not duplicating reports. I just don't know what it's for.
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Dec 8, 2017 04:36
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Boss urgently needs some product info from me this morning...but I also have a phone screen at 9. Decisions decisions.
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Dec 8, 2017 14:07
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C-Euro posted:Boss urgently needs some product info from me this morning...but I also have a phone screen at 9. Decisions decisions. Its tough deciding on how best to misrepresent the truth to your boss. Boss asked my coworker if we could simulate some industrial process. Maybe if we had comsol and TEAMS of men, few hundred million bucks a couple years. Maybe. Realistic option to talk about acquiring a 1-300 million dollar firm, but raises above 3%? Thats crazy talk.
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Dec 8, 2017 15:42
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Had a lengthy discussion with my boss and my HR rep about this last night (both of which are based out of a different office and are fairly tech savvy). My boss thinks it is the funniest thing I have done in the decade we have known each other. My HR guy said he was going to put me in for the quarterly "good employee" award or whatever it is called. I told my boss I had to meet with local HR at 0900 so he cleared his schedule for that time. My meeting with local HR was very dark. He got out his fire and brimstone and barked threats at me about how much trouble I was in. He threatened my job multiple times for stealing from the company. After a few minutes of this, he finally asked "what would your boss think about this devious behavior?" So I pulled out my work phone, dialed the boss, and put it on speaker phone. I gave the introductions and the HR rep goes into a song and dance. My boss stops him and asks him if he understands how a network works, breaks down the issues with his argument, then demanded an apology for wasting his time, and told me to go back to work. I would have left this company a while ago if I had any other manager.
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Dec 8, 2017 16:46
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I'm a bit lost, is HR mad because they think it's your laptop and you were the one running the bitcoin miner? Or is it because you did the search in the first place?
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Dec 8, 2017 17:38
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What the gently caress is the point of hiding a single laptop bitcoin miner?
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Dec 8, 2017 17:40
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fastbilly1 posted:Had a lengthy discussion with my boss and my HR rep about this last night (both of which are based out of a different office and are fairly tech savvy). My boss thinks it is the funniest thing I have done in the decade we have known each other. My HR guy said he was going to put me in for the quarterly "good employee" award or whatever it is called. I told my boss I had to meet with local HR at 0900 so he cleared his schedule for that time. I'd still run for the hills anyway. You pointed out both a security risk and theft of company resources and you're getting poo poo for it from both IT and HR. Your boss is great, of course, but gently caress a company that starts threatening your job before they actually understand what happened.
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Dec 8, 2017 18:13
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taqueso posted:What the gently caress is the point of hiding a single laptop bitcoin miner? He hasn't found all of them yet.
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Dec 8, 2017 18:19
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Dear weird bring-your-dog-to-work people, Please make sure your dog is well behaved and not racist. Bringing a dog to work that only barks at our black coworkers is... bad.
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Dec 8, 2017 18:29
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MickeyFinn posted:Dear weird bring-your-dog-to-work people, What's hosed up is that your company probably doesn't have a Canine Resources department you can go to.
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Dec 8, 2017 18:37
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MickeyFinn posted:Dear weird bring-your-dog-to-work people, You’re just gonna attack Renegret like that? Other news: I’m getting my “staff development review” today aka “you went above and beyond, you’re rating is Meets Expectations”. I’ve been angling for a promotion but my hopes aren’t high.
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Dec 8, 2017 18:41
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MickeyFinn posted:Dear weird bring-your-dog-to-work people, My boss' dog is the dumbest creature alive. I've tried petting him and treating him like a normal dog, but he shows no interest or affection (and if he does he's overstimulated almost instantly and starts humping your leg). All he cares about is food, to the point of extreme anxiousness. He'll whine CONSTANTLY if he's hungry, and often I'm his first target, even though I never give him anything ever. I'm usually very friendly with dogs but I'm just completely disinterested in him. Yet my boss fawns over him like a baby... I don't get it.
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Dec 8, 2017 18:46
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MickeyFinn posted:Dear weird bring-your-dog-to-work people,
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Dec 8, 2017 18:54
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On the contrary, I like dogs and my day would be improved if my coworkers regularly let me plays with their dogs at work
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Dec 8, 2017 19:06
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MickeyFinn posted:Dear weird bring-your-dog-to-work people, Any dog at work that barks at people is bad, no matter what. Actually, dogs at work is weird either way.
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Dec 8, 2017 19:10
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Rotten Red Rod posted:My boss' dog is the dumbest creature alive. I've tried petting him and treating him like a normal dog, but he shows no interest or affection (and if he does he's overstimulated almost instantly and starts humping your leg). All he cares about is food... My boss's dog is like this, she's the least affectionate dog I have ever met in my life, only approaching if she thinks you have food and actively shying away from pets if she finds out you don't. She's also 15 years old so I'm really not that surprised. Office dogs are generally great though, petting them is a great way to actively combat workplace stress.
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Dec 8, 2017 20:22
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Cocoa Crispies posted:What's hosed up is that your company probably doesn't have a Canine Resources department you can go to. Canine Resources would almost certainly be run by a cat.
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Dec 8, 2017 20:25
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