- girl dick energy
- Sep 30, 2009
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You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
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This book is a-maze-ing.
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Dec 12, 2017 16:39
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 11, 2024 15:49
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- girl dick energy
- Sep 30, 2009
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You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
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Odds on the cousin being the author's self insert?
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#
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Dec 12, 2017 23:25
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
Your cousins could be in trouble. Kip and Abbey could be turning to stone this very minute!
"Don't move!" you yell down. "I mean DO move if you can. I'm coming down to save you!"
You take one last glance at the shining object. Rock-by-rock, you backtrack the way you came. It's even harder to move downward, but there's no time to lose! Mostly, you try not to think about what these rocks and boulders used to be!
You set your foot against what used to be someone's shoulder. It jiggles under your weight. And then it flips up! You tumble headfirst down the rocky slope.
"Ouch! Ooch! Eech! Ouch!" you yelp with each bump. Finally you land with a crash at your cousins' feet.
quote:
You lie there among the rocks for a moment. Your head is still spinning from your fall.
"Are you all right?" Abbey asks.
"We saw the whole thing!" Kip says with admiration. "I give it a perfect ten. You were fantastic!"
"I thought you were turning to stone!" you sputter.
"Ha! That's a good one." Abbey laughs. "We were just trying to keep still. We didn't want to start an avalanche while you were up there."
"Yeah," Kip explains. "It's just like with snow. The slightest movement or sound might bring everything tumbling down."
That's it. An avalanche. "Kip, you're a genius!" you exclaim.
"I am?"
"He is?" Abbey looks amazed.
"An avalanche. That's the way to get that shimmering thing. It will help us. I just know it. And if not, maybe an avalanche can help us get out of this horrible place," you explain.
Before they can stop you, you pick up a good-sized rock and throw it as far as you can up the slope.
Pieces of rock start to cascade down the rock face. You, Kip, and Abbey scramble to the edge of the slope out of the way.
quote:
When the rumbling of the avalanche is done, you brush the dust off your face and glance around.
In the light of the full moon you see a trench in the middle of the hill. "It worked!" you shout. "The avalanche has cleared a path!"
"And look what I found," Kip says. He holds up a shiny metal key. "It was right here under this rock."
"Kip, you're a genius!" you say again happily.
quote:
The three of you make your way up the path. All the way up and over the top of the hill. Off in the distance, you see a cottage.
"It's that cottage again," you say. Then you have an idea. "The key! Maybe it fits the door to that cottage!"
After walking on all those rocking rocks, the trip to the cottage is easy. No pixies change your path. No sheep stampede. And so far there's no Evil Knight in sight.
"Hurry!" you call to Kip and Abbey. You move quickly and quietly along the dirt road to the cottage.
When you are a few feet from it, you stop to look at the cottage more carefully. It's a small, two-story, white house with a thatched roof. A garden of petunias and snapdragons lines the curved stone walkway leading to the heavy wooden door.
"I wonder who lives here?" Abbey asks. "It's quite stylish in an old-fashioned way."
She peeks in the windows. "It's too dark in there," she whispers. "I can't see a thing!"
You knock on the door. There's no answer. You knock harder. Still no answer.
"Try the key," Kip suggests.
You put the silver key in the lock and try to twist your hand.
quote:
The silver key fits perfectly into the lock, but it won't turn. "I don't get it," you say. "This key looks like it should go with this lock."
No luck. You put the key back in your pocket. You step back from the door to search for another way in. As soon as you move away, the door slowly swings open!
"Come in," the voice of a very old man invites from somewhere inside the cottage. "I've been waiting for you."
"Waiting for us?" Abbey stammers. She peers into the darkened doorway. "But I don't see you," Abbey says.
"Come closer," the old man says in a friendly voice. "It's been so long since I had some good company."
The three of you step into the cottage. The door SLAMS behind you!
If the SLAM makes you scream, turn to PAGE 87.
If the SLAM makes you jump, turn to PAGE 105.
I added the silver key to our inventory for the sake of completeness, but I honestly don't think we ever get to use it.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
 Silver Key
Goal Endings: 0/1
Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 04:34
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Scream
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 04:46
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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This book is presented in scream-o-vision
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Dec 13, 2017 05:29
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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I wanna hear you scream and shout
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 05:47
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- girl dick energy
- Sep 30, 2009
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You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
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That's not an avalanche. That's a rock slide.
Scream.
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 16:27
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
You can't help it. The SLAM of the door makes you scream.
"We didn't mean to scare you." It's the old man's voice.
"We?" you ask. "Did you say we?"
To answer your question, the old guy hobbles forward. You see his dusty boots emerge from the shadows. A pair of ragged canvas pants and a cardigan sweater with holes appear. Then you see his face.
Talk about U-G-L-Y! He cackles as he glares at you from a wrinkled, mole-covered face. This guy must be a hundred years old. And he's looking at you funny.
Then something catches your eye. Something next to his grizzled old ear. IT'S ANOTHER HEAD! A horrible, wart-covered, puffy-eyed head with a squirming, dangling tongue! It's sticking out from the right side of his neck!
You hear Abbey squealing in terror.
And there's ANOTHER HEAD! On the other side! Sticking out from his neck. As this one catches the light you see a mouthful of slimy rotting teeth. His bloodshot eyes roll around out of control!
"We didn't mean to scare you," the old man says. "WE MEANT TO TERRIFY YOU!"
If you can, run to PAGE 98.
If you're frozen in terror, turn to PAGE 108.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Silver Key
Goal Endings: 0/1
Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 17:44
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- Hemingway To Go!
- Nov 10, 2008
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im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway
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ignore self preservation measures for no reason
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Dec 13, 2017 17:48
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Run away from this bad writing.
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 18:24
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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I ran, so far away
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 18:37
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- Friend Commuter
- Nov 3, 2009
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SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.
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Smellrose
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Run towards the goal ending and another book.
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 19:08
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- girl dick energy
- Sep 30, 2009
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You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
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Freeze, punk!
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#
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Dec 13, 2017 19:19
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- FriskyBoat
- Apr 23, 2011
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#
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Dec 14, 2017 18:47
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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#
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Dec 14, 2017 19:08
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- PumpkinBat
- Oct 22, 2012
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Our fight-or-flight response fails to come to a resolution, leaving us frozen in terror.
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#
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Dec 16, 2017 15:39
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- BioEnchanted
- Aug 9, 2011
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He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.
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Kinda hoping this 3 headed old man is actually Cerberus.
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 00:02
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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Sorry about the delay, busy with a family illness.
quote:
You know you should run. But for some reason your legs won't move. "We're stuck!" you yell. "Stuck!" You try to move your feet, but they are rooted to the ground. In fact, they are in the ground!
Kip and Abbey can't move either. Their feet are just as rooted as yours. And both of their bodies have started to turn green. They're getting thinner, too. Very, very thin. So are you! Old Mr. Triple-decker is casting his favorite spell. He's mumbling some gibberish over there in the corner.
You have become the latest addition to his garden. You look out from your petal-framed face and see the petunias and snapdragons you passed on your way in. Funny. Now you notice they have faces.
"He got you too, I see," a purple petunia rooted next to you says. "No one knows the evil he sows!"
"Curses, soiled again!" a zinnia teases.
"He got all of us," Abbey sighs from beneath her rose-petaled bonnet. "But at least I'm a rose!"
Looks like you're grounded this time. But life in a wizard's garden can't be all bad. Who knows? It might even grow on you.
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Silver Key
Goal Endings: 0/1
Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Turned into a flower by a three-headed man.
Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
Our options posted:
- Press X to not die.
- Follow the right pixie.
- Try to find our way out of the maze.
- Go back into the maze.
- Say the door slamming made us jump.
- Run from the three-headed man.
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 03:04
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Run!
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 04:55
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Run, run, before you can't!
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 05:01
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- girl dick energy
- Sep 30, 2009
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You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZwuTo7zKM8
Fleeeeeee!
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 14:55
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- PumpkinBat
- Oct 22, 2012
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Well, at least getting turned into a flower was an interesting end. I'm wondering though, if the writer just went "Well the Garden of Living Flowers was in Through the Looking Glass, which written by Lewis Carroll, who was English! ENGLAAAANND!"
Anyway, we now default to flight! Run!
PumpkinBat fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Dec 17, 2017
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 16:12
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
Leaving the three-faced monster behind, the three of you lunge for the back door of the cottage. "Locked again!" you cry, shaking the handle furiously.
"The key!" Kip reminds you. "Try the key!"
You fumble in your pocket, pull out the key, and put it in the lock. Just as you feel the key start to turn, you hear the monster trip chanting a series of mumbo-jumbo words:
"Sliziwick, whizaslick, haggedly zee.
Make three into one with the turn of the key!"
The key turns. The door opens. The three of you push against each other trying to be the first one out.
You push. Kip pushes harder. Abbey pushes hardest! She pushes too hard.
The monster's spell has worked. All that pushing squashes your bodies together into one.
POP! You fall outside.
But the turn of the key has made you a three-faced, one-bodied monster just like the old man! All you know is two heads may be better than one, but three heads add up to one big headache!
THE END
Guess I was wrong about never using the key.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Silver Key
Goal Endings: 0/1
Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Turned into a flower by a three-headed man.
Fused with Kip and Abbey into a three-headed monster.
Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
Our options posted:
- Press X to not die.
- Follow the right pixie.
- Try to find our way out of the maze.
- Go back into the maze.
- Say the door slamming made us jump.
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 17:08
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- PumpkinBat
- Oct 22, 2012
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This is the second time we ended up as a three-headed monstrosity.
Fine, the door slamming caused us to attempt escape through the roof! Jump!
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 17:56
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Looks like we're gonna try to jump!
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 18:43
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- girl dick energy
- Sep 30, 2009
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You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZaz7OqyTHQ
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 18:57
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Jump around
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#
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Dec 17, 2017 22:46
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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seek a way out.jpg
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#
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Dec 18, 2017 05:41
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
The loud SLAM of the door startles you. You jump two feet into the air. When you come back down, the floor beneath you opens up.
"A trapdoooooooor!" you exclaim. The three of you plunge downward. It seems like you're falling for a while. Then your luck changes. You land on a soft bed covered with brown cloth.
"Whew!" you sigh, catching your breath. "I don't know where we are. But am I glad to be away from that old guy. I can't explain it, but his voice really gave me the creeps!"
"I keep telling Abbey the same thing," Kip teases. "I can't explain it, but her face really gives me the creeps."
"Don't push your luck, Kip," Abbey warns, and she whacks him with a piece of brown cloth.
"What are these, anyway?" Kip asks. He lifts up the coarse brown sheet that just hit his face.
"They're monks' robes!" Abbey answers. "See?" She puts one on over her head. She looks just like a monk in a movie.
"Cool!" You and Kip try them on too, just for fun. "What are they doing in this old guy's basement?"
"Shhhh!" Abbey hushes you. "Listen!"
The sound of low chanting comes from somewhere above you. "Do you think it's the Knight in Screaming Armor?" you ask. "It sounds more like singing than moaning."
quote:
You see stone steps in the corner of the basement.
"We'd better see what's up there," you whisper. You lead the way up the stone steps. Medieval paintings line the walls. Carved angels hover near the arched ceiling. "It's like a castle," you say.
"It's a monastery!" Abbey corrects you. "Monks probably used to live here centuries ago."
"Then who's that chanting in the next room?" Kip gulps. The chanting grows louder and louder as you enter a large dining room. Long benches are filled with robed figures bent over a narrow wooden table. The figures keep their hooded heads bowed. They chant over their meal.
"There's no food on the table!" Kip whispers loudly.
All the figures turn around at once.
"Oh!" Abbey lets out a startled cry.
The robes are empty! Where their faces should be, there's empty space! They're ghosts!
You make a break for the stairs. But you're all alone when you get there.
quote:
When you get to the stone steps, you look back for Abbey and Kip. But they're not there.
Then you see them. They're walking over toward the table. What are they doing? "Come on, you guys! This way!" you shout. But it's too late. Their faces are already starting to fade!
The chanting grows louder. Now you can hear what they're saying. "No bell tolls for us. No bell tolls for us," they chant.
quote:
Kip and Abbey don't notice that you are running out of the dining hall. They don't care. They reach back to pull their hoods up over their vanishing heads. Now Kip and Abbey are chanting too.
"No bell tolls for us. No bell tolls for us. No bell tolls for us."
You race down a different set of stone stairs. A doorway at the bottom leads out into a courtyard.
Across the yard is a crumbling bell tower. As you run for it, the chanting monks hurry close behind you. They're not going to let you escape. They want you to join them too.
You race up the broken stone steps to the top of the tower. A rotting rope hangs from a black cast-iron bell. There's a kettle full of some bubbling black liquid on the floor.
You reach for the bell rope, and the ghosts stop in their tracks. They hold their thick sleeves up against their hoods - to where their ears would be if they had ears. As terrified as you are of them, they seem frightened of the bell!
If you pull the rope to ring the bell, turn to PAGE 110.
If you decide to throw the liquid at them instead, turn to PAGE 73.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Silver Key
Goal Endings: 0/1
Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Turned into a flower by a three-headed man.
Fused with Kip and Abbey into a three-headed monster.
Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
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#
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Dec 18, 2017 20:30
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 11, 2024 15:49
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
-
Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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ding dong, motherfuckers
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#
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Dec 18, 2017 21:17
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#
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Dec 12, 2017 16:39
