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please advise goes at the bottom of all my "what the gently caress is this what do you expect me to do with this bullshit" emails
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Dec 19, 2017 22:02
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I had someone forward me this email today and ask if this was a scam.quote:Hey did you get the BitCoin Investors Guide I sent you?
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Dec 19, 2017 22:04
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Happy Noodle Boy posted:Please stop adding poo poo to my project we’re already over budget. I use access daily and it's awful.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:06
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Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:I had someone forward me this email today and ask if this was a scam. lmao
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Dec 19, 2017 22:07
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Yeah "please advise" is my work-speak equivalent of "you figure this out" or "not my loving problem". SHOAH NUFF posted:What are some workplaces phrases you guys are enjoying lately I'm in the process of scheduling a phone interview elsewhere so hopefully "I quit" is one I'll enjoy soon.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:15
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C-Euro posted:I've definitely gotten razors through TSA in the past (the double-sided kind for safety razors). Only place that called me on it was Orlando and they also took my shaving soap at the same time because "it's a liquid over 3 oz". Bitch it was solid I had security try to do that to me in Scotland with my deodorant stick. So I took the cap off and turned it upside down lol
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Dec 19, 2017 22:16
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C-Euro posted:Yeah "please advise" is my work-speak equivalent of "you figure this out" or "not my loving problem". Much like "bless your heart", everyone knows the code for "please advise."
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Dec 19, 2017 22:19
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My favorites of this week are: "No." "Hard pass" "Spread the load" "They're wrong." "Growing pains"
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Dec 19, 2017 22:19
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Update on job offer: they were willing to come up to 10k or offer more options at the same pay. My buddy, who I've known for over a decade and didn't bring me to the job a year ago because of restructuring they have to do, is strongly suggesting I take the more options because he can take care of the pay 6 months to a year down the road. He keeps hinting at the fact they're about to have an exit/acquisition of some kind, hence the take the options and get here before the January board meeting so they're granted to you. Idk, it's tough because I have 0 reason to suspect he's trying to gently caress me and every reason to believe he's trying to look out for/take care of me. Going to make a choice tonight, but it's tough.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:20
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The work phrase that's starting to make me seethe is "critical path"
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Dec 19, 2017 22:21
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What's the best outlook salutations for the signature? I loving hate "Best Regards," and I'm sitting here with "best," because it's short and sweet
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Dec 19, 2017 22:23
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Lol at people using Sincerely,
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Dec 19, 2017 22:24
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Blitz7x posted:What's the best outlook salutations for the signature? I loving hate "Best Regards," and I'm sitting here with "best," because it's short and sweet Thanks, - if you're making a request/asking for something Best, - if it's a reply to someone/more generic email
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Dec 19, 2017 22:25
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I always just use Thanks, _______ I also write like two emails a week if that.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:25
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Blitz7x posted:What's the best outlook salutations for the signature? I loving hate "Best Regards," and I'm sitting here with "best," because it's short and sweet Fare thee well
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Dec 19, 2017 22:25
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Blitz7x posted:What's the best outlook salutations for the signature? I loving hate "Best Regards," and I'm sitting here with "best," because it's short and sweet I wish I were English so I could say cheers.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:27
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Have a blessed day,
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Dec 19, 2017 22:27
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Blitz7x posted:What's the best outlook salutations for the signature? I loving hate "Best Regards," and I'm sitting here with "best," because it's short and sweet Thanks,
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Dec 19, 2017 22:28
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Fun things about running a department: You can ban words. "synergy" "leverage" "thought leaders" "influencers" "thinkfluencer" all toast.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:28
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Blitz7x posted:What's the best outlook salutations for the signature? I loving hate "Best Regards," and I'm sitting here with "best," because it's short and sweet That's fine. I sometimes like to personalize it because I'm not a robot, but I also send a billion emails a day so "Best" is my default. "Thanks" works for people you don't know well or weird robots who are obsessed with conveying power or other business bullshit
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Dec 19, 2017 22:29
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"No" is my go-to right now because I'm fed up with people asking if I'll have stuff done by an impossible deadline.Blitz7x posted:Lol at people using Sincerely, I use sincerely because I don't give a gently caress
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Dec 19, 2017 22:31
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“utilize” instead of “use” drives me crazy.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:31
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WHOOPS posted:“utilize” instead of “use” drives me crazy. It has its utilizes
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Dec 19, 2017 22:32
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"Upstream" is also a term that gets thrown around in my group quite a bit
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Dec 19, 2017 22:34
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GonadTheBallbarian posted:Fun things about running a department: You can ban words. thinkfluencer should punishable by death. The rest were probably used in a useful sentence at one point in time, but Jesus gently caress, thinkfluencer.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:36
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I usually end emails with Best, My old boss like 9 years ago did it and I started doing it randomly 3-4 years ago. What's everyone's parting message to people? I was a big "take it easy," for a long time but recently I've migrated to "take care."
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Dec 19, 2017 22:42
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I just got to use nightmare factory and last helicopter out of Saigon in a meeting, so I'm happy.Spoeank posted:I usually end emails with Best, "Have a good one" or "talk to you later" or "peace." Kalli fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Dec 19, 2017 |
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Dec 19, 2017 22:43
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Skwirl posted:thinkfluencer should punishable by death. The rest were probably used in a useful sentence at one point in time, but Jesus gently caress, thinkfluencer. Yeah, PR emails are a loving cacophony of terrible newspeak and bullshit. I'm very not-popular among that crowd because I refuse to publish quotes with non-words like that without [sic] or ellipsis-ing them out. WHOOPS posted:“utilize” instead of “use” drives me crazy. another banned word. Drives me loving bonkers GonadTheBallbarian fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Dec 19, 2017 |
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Dec 19, 2017 22:45
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When I used to be client-side I would always end with "Best regards," because that's how the guy who trained me taught me but now that I have 0 client interaction I barely even remember to put my signature on my replies.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:47
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Spoeank posted:
"Don't gently caress with me. Don't you ever gently caress with me. Toodles."
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Dec 19, 2017 22:49
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Synergies of vertical integration
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Dec 19, 2017 22:49
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I write the way people talk 
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Dec 19, 2017 22:52
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'Acceleration' or some variant is another favorite. When they think doing things faster is the solution to all their problems, but have no interest in evaluating processes and people who may be impediments to moving faster, usually resulting in never leaving a perpetual state of panic/feeling like enough isn't being done and landing on people putting in more hours. US work culture can be absolutely toxic when it comes to time spent in the office/working a week and I blame the neckbeards with no lives who don't realize slaving away at a desk for hours on end doesn't make you a better or more virtuous employee.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:52
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Do y'all have to fill out your own yearly evaluations? Every year it follows the same routine for me and I'd rather flay my skin with a scalpel then write it. I know it's just because my supervisor is lazy, and doesn't know what I actually do, but I always just think about it for a week, write three words, get mad about it, then work on other poo poo and then the day it's due just re-word what I wrote last year and change the projects I did.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:53
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Spoeank posted:What's everyone's parting message to people? I was a big "take it easy," for a long time but recently I've migrated to "take care."
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Dec 19, 2017 22:54
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Ehud posted:I write the way people talk That means you're doing it wrong.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:54
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Please do the needful really gets me on a deep personal level. No gently caress you, Barbara, YOU do the needful
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Dec 19, 2017 22:54
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What are the funniest seasons of Always Sunny in Philadelphia?
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Dec 19, 2017 22:54
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SHOAH NUFF posted:What are the funniest seasons of Always Sunny in Philadelphia? all of 'em
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Dec 19, 2017 22:56
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Kalli posted:Do y'all have to fill out your own yearly evaluations? Every year it follows the same routine for me and I'd rather flay my skin with a scalpel then write it. When I did I kept it short and sweet instead of agonizing over it for weeks and writing a loving tome like most other devs. If I've had reviews elsewhere, they've been 360 peer feedback reviews. Self reviews are horse poo poo.
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Dec 19, 2017 22:56
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