The Big Word posted:

I was pristine until this year then I got a single bullshit probe and decided to pull my posting pants down and keep them down

Harry Potter on Ice posted:

Suck up to IKs

runupon cracker posted:

non-anonymous confession: for many years, I thought IK stood for "Idiot King"

quote:

Hey all, Puppetmaster here.

I've been taking a break after getting someone I strongly dislike a very long probe. I was hoping for a ban but they keep getting handed 30s, guess I'm losing my touch.

Anyways, I have a new passion: trolling Redditors then downvoting them when they complain.

I didn't plan it originally. Goffman's Presentation of Self in Everyday life discusses how we have different personas in different situations. So I had a few Reddit accounts. One tied to the real me for posting in my home city, a shitposting account, a lulzly weird one. And then most of those has been swapped (ex: move to a new city, new reddit name). So I had about 8 accounts, all prefilled in the Reddit extension's account switcher.

So I'd come into a post on say, /r/relationships and troll the poo poo out of the person. "Oh, so you snooped on your partner's phone? And then you *yelled* because he's been banging his way across Tinder? Textbook narccistic abuse!" that sort of thing. Then when they protest I'd downvote... and here comes the best part: Redditors are lemmings. If they see a Hot Take that's +5, a whiny reply that's -4, they'll do the rest.

The best is they rarely catch on. One guy did recently (or was just a MAGA chud who yells about brigading any time he goes negative).

However, he started yelling about how someone who wandered in and helped troll him was an "obvious alt" and reported it to the subreddit mods and the admins... the mods messaged me to apologize and said they'd banned him.

So now anyone who accuses my shitposting account of brigading will appear to be a whiny MAGA chud, which is funny. I don't use my accounts as sockpuppets, I just downvote the other guy and let the hivemind do the work for me.

However, I feel like Reddit's algorithms are catching on, possibly because all these accounts share an IP (even if it's an IP behind a VPN). Often I'll put in 5-6 votes and find they got wiped (never took effect silently).


So I've been experimenting with Tor. I've got a few accounts registered on Tor made... often when I try to register them it refuses to serve the CAPTCHA so it's slow going. But I've got two throwaways with no post history and two with a decent post history. Over time, I browse Reddit on Tor and when I want to make a comment, pick an alt to post it with.

It seems to work better, my votes don't seem to disappear. But if I vote in quick succession they still get rolled back, so I have to set a timer and vote 10+ minutes apart to nudge a post down all while voting on cute cat pics as well to fuzz.

It's hard work but it's paying off.

I've also got a special project in the works, but I'll save that for once it's completed...

quote:

If the NY AG's lawsuit against the FCC nuking Net Nutrality fails I want you all to know I don't regret writting the comparison of everyone in the Greed circle of Hell getting boiled by Satan's jizz in hell in the articles about "FCC falsified my name to sign antiNN comments lawsuit responses".

Tax Inductions posted:

Wait, it doesn't?

Theophany posted:

Puppetmaster needs a new hobby. I'm just picturing the WoW griefer from South Park.

LingcodKilla posted:

How the hell you go 17 years without anything on your rapsheet?

Theophany posted:

Once you pop your probation cherry, you stop giving a poo poo about keeping your record clean and start caring about how many dumbshit probations you can pick up. There are some exceptionally impressive rap sheets on these dead gay forums.

Burt Sexual posted:

Post Rate
0.21 per day

Theophany posted:

Once you pop your probation cherry, you stop giving a poo poo about keeping your record clean and start caring about how many dumbshit probations you can pick up. There are some exceptionally impressive rap sheets on these dead gay forums.

LingcodKilla posted:

How the hell you go 17 years without anything on your rapsheet?

quote:

There have been 1294 posts made by yello, an average of 0.21 posts per day, since registering on Nov 27, 2000.

runupon cracker posted:

*looks as SAclopedia*

...hello, Internet? Yes, I'd like to revise my earlier confession...

Solice Kirsk posted:

Gonna need someone else who is also having a stroke translate that second confession please.

Lemon posted:

I still think my 2nd last probation was wack

RFC2324 posted:

yello posted:

poo poo I would have said like 1/15th of that. Y’all give me a new reason to live

Slugworth posted:

So, with the TJ Miller sex monster news, I have decided it was *definitely* him who confessed to the shoe thing.

maskenfreiheit posted:

What tj Miller sex monster news?

Slugworth posted:

https://www.theverge.com/2017/12/19/16797462/tj-miller-silicon-valley-sexual-physical-assault-accusation

maskenfreiheit posted:

Jesus.

Random aside but was reading a book on psychopathy/sociopathy recently and apparently frequent drug use is a good red flag.

If you can think of any other notable jerkish potheads, they’re probably a creep

quote:

Ive fought depression for several years. It's all rooted in a childhood of physical and sexual abuse. I got things together long enough to get married, have a couple kids, buy a house, etc. My wife is a psychologist. She works with all these crazies and gives everything to support them, but when I say I'm feeling down she screams at me to get my poo poo together. I have these kids I love but I'm at a complete loss on how to care for them (every idea I have is dismissed as retarded or abusive by my wife)

I used to daydream every day about killing myself but now I daydream about running away to central America (yo speako espanol) because I get the idea that splattering my brain over the kitchen ceiling will vindicate her.

I'm currently drunk in the middle of the night weighing getting a passport or a gun. Fun times.

quote:

I have news for you goons: UFOS. ARE. REAL.

I know this, because like Gary McKinnon[0], I am a hacker. This, coupled with unique access I had as part of my work in Washington has given me some unique insights. Yeah, that's right. Hacking isn't always about pulling weird Mr. Robot poo poo - sometimes it's about writing a perl script to try logging in with no password to a bunch of machines, or scanning a bunch of machines for out of date software I can run a canned exploit on, or stalking employees and gaining enough information to get them to do what I want.

Since WWII the Allies often spotted "Foo fighters"[1]. The Americans assumed they were German, the Germans thought they were American, and after the war everyone thought they were Soviet and after the USSR collapsed everyone kind of was like... well... poo poo.

The bad news? There were no crashed UFOs, no alien bodies, no anal probes (sorry Fruit on the Bottom, I know you were getting excited just reading this)

The truth is a little more boring. These objects appear every once in a while and zip around, doing their own thing. They don't appear aggeessive, but any attempt at intercepting them fails.

The working theory is that they're very advanced UAVs, since given the g-forces present during their manouvers it's hard to picture any carbon based lifeform staying conscious.

My personal theory is they're probes of some sort. And who knows, maybe a few hundred years down the line some bigger ship will show up to say hello? These ships appear to be governed by the speed of light - they don't just appear or disappear, they just move faster than today's planes and change direction with a rapidity that would sheer an F117 apart.

So the government just kind of... ignores them. They don't want to acknowledge they're not ours because This Is A Post 9/11 World And Unknown Things Are Scary. Technically we can't prove they're alien, just not made on this world. Maybe they're relics of a long dead civilization, like a Roomba smearing cat poo poo around the corpe of a Bethesda shut in.

So they just kind of carry on doing nothing. Much like North Korea.

Nobody calls them out on it since either they'd also look incompetent, or they're a pissant country the aliens don't care about.

Atomic stuff seems to attract them. Recent research shows you can detect atomic explosions from space so it's not out of the realm of possibility probes are sent to areas that look like they could have planets with life, and the development of atomic weaponry draws in probes for further study.

You may think I'm crazy or bullshitting you but it's true:

https://nytimes.com/2017/12/16/us/politics/pentagon-program-ufo-harry-reid.html

https://nytimes.com/2017/12/16/us/politics/unidentified-flying-object-navy.html

https://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2017/12/16/pentagon-ufo-search-harry-reid-216111

There's other things the conspiracy theories get right too. For example, the existence of aliens is hidden from most presidents since presidents are temporary. But the Queen of England is briefed, and actually serves as a sort of "head ambassador" to the ETs, given her unique influence in the three important areas of the world: The Commonwealth, The EU, and America.

There's a strong chance America's dotard president may use revealing some of what I've said to get the heat off. It's either that or legalize weed. But that could backfire. Much like with Snowden and Wikileaks and the Panama Papers, or the fact Saudis did 9/11, they expect hidden truths to be extraordinary. The truth is never far from the surface in the modern world, so when revealed the internet hipsters exclaim their triumphant yell:

That's not news we've known that for years!


[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_McKinnon <-- unlike this gently caress I use Tor, SUCK IT GCHQ
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foo_fighter

marathon Stairmaster sesh posted:

UFO confesh: Trump's brain is Alzheimer's mush meaning he might force the aliens to attack us Mars Attacks! style.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Just because your wife is a psychologist doesn't mean you are entitled to her services for free. When she says "get your poo poo together" she means "go see a therapist that isn't me". It's like how when you have a doctor in the family and everyone expects them to check out their rear end rash or lump in their balls so they can avoid going to see their own doctor. Nobody likes that, they would prefer to leave their work at work just like you do.

Your wife presumably married you because she likes you as a person, not as a patient. Stop trying to turn your relationship into that.

RCarr posted:

What kind of rear end in a top hat wouldn't make their wife a website?

Triangle Shirt Factotum posted:

That is a really weird limit to set. Like, yeah, I've rebuilt bathrooms and closets for my wife to use, I'm not sure why it'd even be a thing.

maskenfreiheit posted:

Careful you don't cut yourself on that edge bro.

He's not entitled to 45 minute counseling sessions, but part of being in a relationship is providing support to each other. And even if he is relying on her too much, she should say "Listen, I can't be your therapist *and* your wife, you need to make an appointment with a pychologist" not "GET YOUR poo poo TOGETHER REEEEEEE"

I work in IT for example. My girlfriends are not "entitled to my services for free" - I would not, for example, make her a website. But if the router was acting up or she wanted some help setting up 2FA on her gmail I'd be happy to help.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

Just because your wife is a psychologist doesn't mean you are entitled to her services for free. When she says "get your poo poo together" she means "go see a therapist that isn't me". It's like how when you have a doctor in the family and everyone expects them to check out their rear end rash or lump in their balls so they can avoid going to see their own doctor. Nobody likes that, they would prefer to leave their work at work just like you do.

Your wife presumably married you because she likes you as a person, not as a patient. Stop trying to turn your relationship into that.