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Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


It drives me nuts people can't correlate addiction with mental illness. Like, holy poo poo our country is terrible with health care and surprise! Sick people turn to the easiest relief they can get.

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Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Scathach posted:

It drives me nuts people can't correlate addiction with mental illness. Like, holy poo poo our country is terrible with health care and surprise! Sick people turn to the easiest relief they can get.

Also opioid producers have literally bribed doctors into overprescribing them. So someone could start getting into some highly addictive drugs even without making a conscious or poorly-thought out decision of their own - their doctor told them this is what they needed to do!

Punkin Spunkin
Jan 1, 2010
There's meaning in the smoking everyday stoner unwilling to see substance addiction as a disease. It's an elephant in the room for America, the disease infecting such a large amount of Americans in a million headed multitude of forms

Waterbed Wendy
Jan 29, 2009

Absurd Alhazred posted:

So apparently there's a singer called Kristin Chenoweth, and somebody decided to create an account dedicated to her breasts.

:nws: because multiple cleavage shots. Possibly also :nms:

:psyduck:

dem taddies defy gravity

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


Holy poo poo another one what is wrong with my Facebook? Unscientific, compassioness jerks.

Brother Entropy
Dec 27, 2009

"drug addiction is not a disease you loving gently caress-up addict oh also happy hanukkah"

Smythe
Oct 12, 2003
i think the OP must be some kind of drug addict to use freaking FONT! :stare: :stonk: :catstare:

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


I don't know how these people are on my Facebook but I greatly dislike them.

Poor Miserable Gurgi
Dec 29, 2006

He's a wisecracker!

TinTower posted:

I hope you're happy that I saw this.

I hope you're happy now.

I hope you're happy that you've scarred my brain forever.

I hope you think you're clever.

I want to continue this Wicked riff, but my brain is too filled with disgust at the use of "succulent and plump" in that image.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

TinTower posted:

I hope you're happy that I saw this.

I hope you're happy now.

I hope you're happy that you've scarred my brain forever.

I hope you think you're clever.

I hope you’re happy too!

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
https://twitter.com/RandPaul/status/944590330166431745

https://twitter.com/RandPaul/status/944624455636127744

Elfgames
Sep 11, 2011

Fun Shoe

Scathach posted:

It drives me nuts people can't correlate addiction with mental illness. Like, holy poo poo our country is terrible with health care and surprise! Sick people turn to the easiest relief they can get.

haha most of these people think that mental illnesses are made up

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009

Smythe posted:

i think the OP must be some kind of drug addict to use freaking FONT! :stare: :stonk: :catstare:

Well yeah they have an Android

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014

A true renaissance man



Time for the feats of strength!

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

CommonShore posted:

Time for the feats of strength!

First off is punching Rand Paul in the dick.

Scathach
Apr 4, 2011

You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.


Can this be a group activity

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Midnight Voyager posted:

First off is punching Rand Paul in the dick.

Somebody already did that for you. :v:

funmanguy
Apr 20, 2006

What time is it?

TinTower posted:

I hope you're happy that I saw this.

I hope you're happy now.

I hope you're happy that you've scarred my brain forever.

I hope you think you're clever.

its me, im the one who listened the Wicked enough to get this joke.

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Misery loves company.

So does Herpes, but that doesn't mean I get laid

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

So does Herpes, but that doesn't mean I get laid

:distonk:

nerdz
Oct 12, 2004


Complex, statistically improbable things are by their nature more difficult to explain than simple, statistically probable things.
Grimey Drawer

Absurd Alhazred posted:

So apparently there's a singer called Kristin Chenoweth, and somebody decided to create an account dedicated to her breasts.

:nws: because multiple cleavage shots. Possibly also :nms:

:psyduck:

From her looks I was expecting her to be some embalmed 80 year old. She's 49?

Carados
Jan 28, 2009

We're a couple, when our bodies double.

nerdz posted:

From her looks I was expecting her to be some embalmed 80 year old. She's 49?

The parts she tends to get for non-singing parts are "aged trophy wife"

Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


TheKennedys posted:

Definitely satire, showed up in a shitposting group on facebook and given our history of parodying the Professor and the Marine story I thought at first it came from these very dead gay forums ultimately, but goons probably would have gone to more effort with it



It's by @pixelatedboat

https://twitter.com/pixelatedboat/status/944176982782132224

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




Picnic Princess posted:

A lot of those "real" diseases are consequences from some sort of action. They don't just materialize out of thin air.

Agreed. loving lymers going around hiking in the woods all the time than crying about their lyme 'disease'. You chose to walk that dog, no one made you.

Byzantine
Sep 1, 2007

Facebook Aunt posted:

Agreed. loving lymers going around hiking in the woods all the time than crying about their lyme 'disease'. You chose to walk that dog, no one made you.

The syringes that carry heroin breed in stale, motionless water like untended pools. Syringe nets can be excellent for protection, as well as seeking out the breeding spot and draining it.

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Facebook Aunt posted:

Agreed. loving lymers going around hiking in the woods all the time than crying about their lyme 'disease'. You chose to walk that dog, no one made you.

Hey now, I'm getting tested for it soon. I figured it is the likely cause of me being practically dead now because I spent days upon days upon days in the wilderness all over the world. Would be far less likely if I just spent all my time on some MMO in my basement for the last 10 years.

The Saddest Rhino
Apr 29, 2009

Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.



Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010

CommonShore posted:

Time for the feats of strength!

https://twitter.com/dankmtl/status/944692392371916800

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule


Haha I wouldn't help a fellow human who is being abducted unless I perceived that they needed my protection, which I am able to give because my sex affords greater upper body strength on average; that makes me the most reasonable actor in an absurd hypothetical with an imagined caricature of a popularly-maligned philosophy.

TheKennedys
Sep 23, 2006

By my hand, I will take you from this godforsaken internet

I saw this one the other day and I've spent enough time in the incel thread that it's pretty run of the mill, but "you win the Internet, good sir" in 2017 is unforgivable

:killing:

Yellow Ant
Feb 28, 2016
https://twitter.com/shelly4u4now/status/944200051257200640
https://twitter.com/shelly4u4now/status/944805970198323200
https://twitter.com/shelly4u4now/status/944176958447013889
https://twitter.com/shelly4u4now/status/944753103559151617
https://twitter.com/shelly4u4now/status/931144945917931520
https://twitter.com/shelly4u4now/status/938718670422970369
https://twitter.com/shelly4u4now/status/939473879248068609

Yellow Ant has a new favorite as of 07:20 on Dec 24, 2017

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
https://twitter.com/justcuriouskt/status/944428800355569664

A screencap with context in case it gets deleted:



Edit:

Wow, there's a lot going on here, there's a back and forth with THE David Simon:

https://twitter.com/AoDespair/status/944633485934891008

Absurd Alhazred has a new favorite as of 07:20 on Dec 24, 2017

Katt
Nov 14, 2017

TheKennedys posted:

quick and dirty


Awesome. Thanks.

Katt has a new favorite as of 07:25 on Dec 24, 2017

stringless
Dec 28, 2005

keyboard ⌨️​ :clint: cowboy

Pththya-lyi posted:

Imagine a life where you have never been great at anything, never felt the urge to be great at anything, never felt that magnetic attraction to someone who was great at something, wanted to imitate and ultimately surpass her. Just nothing. Literally all you do in life is exist. Occupy space, pass the time. You're a dude.

You're bored, as usual, tweeting about your loving video games and not even feeling any kind of happiness from it, just soothing your constant need to be bitter and dickish and petty towards other men. Every single thing you've done in the past year was mundane, shallow, and boring. You spent the last six hours reading kinda-interesting Reddit stories about people who play sports or some stupid bullshit you think is interesting and you may say is interesting but you're not really sure if it's really interesting. You're just loving sitting there, gestating, fermenting, with a meat tube between your legs that guarantees you'll at least never have to question things or not be catered to or work to improve yourself.

And then you see women, over in some corner, having fun. You've never seen this before. What are they even doing? Instead of their consciousnesses merely sitting in their thick skull and revolving around itself, they are imbuing their conscious energy and intentionality into external objects, crafts, goals, project, people. All the bitterness and dickishness you feel nonstop seems to be absent, as they congratulate each other for being victorious, and happy learn from someone who has supported them. These creatures are truly content to be alive. They have found purpose in a purposeless universe.

And your gaze turns back on itself, on yourself, and you realize you've never had that. You can never have it. You're just a stupid dick.

So you get up, you walk over there, and you loving ruin everything. Just ruin the whole loving thing. The five seconds of attention you get will be worth destroying it. Because you're a man.

I literally watched this exact situation happen last night. Two women were having a conversation at the bar, rear end in a top hat decides to barge in with "HEY, WHERE ARE Y'ALL FROM?" Holy poo poo dude, I could have heard you from the other end of the building 150 feet away

and to make it worse while I'm sure they were born here in the States, one was clearly Southern Asian and the other was clearly Eastern Asian in ethnicity

and that wasn't even the only awkward "[you're ethnic,] where you from? no, i mean, where are you from?" trainwreck I saw that night.

Mak0rz
Aug 2, 2008

😎🐗🚬

IOSM by-proxy but

https://twitter.com/jimpjorps/status/944582116993634307

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
Imagine proudly sharing on Twitter a screenshot of a word document with a notable green underline:

https://twitter.com/nickreeves9876/status/944305912558292993

Katt
Nov 14, 2017

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Imagine proudly sharing on Twitter a screenshot of a word document with a notable green underline:

https://twitter.com/nickreeves9876/status/944305912558292993


Personally I'd say that a clear sign of authoritarianism is when the leaders become so comfortable in their seats that they stop acting like trained monkeys in public to please the people. Britain and the US are nowhere near that stage.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Katt posted:

Personally I'd say that a clear sign of authoritarianism is when the leaders become so comfortable in their seats that they stop acting like trained monkeys in public to please the people. Britain and the US are nowhere near that stage.

I'm just here for the stylistic faux pas, don't @ me! :bahgawd:

Katt
Nov 14, 2017

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I'm just here for the stylistic faux pas, don't @ me! :bahgawd:

Too many big words. I surrender :negative:

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felch me daddy jr.
Oct 30, 2009

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