Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

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Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

TheLastRoboKy posted:

I'm not related to this at all ARE YOU THREATENING ME?

NO BUT KEEP UP YOUR POSTING AND ILL HAVE TO LEGALLY THREATEN YOU WITH CONTEMPT OF JURISDICTION IN MY COURT, CLOWN!

# ? Jan 2, 2018 04:44

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# ? May 21, 2024 13:34

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Galarox posted:

ps: I thought Buffalo (along with mammoth) were off the menu? Be consistent Titanic!

Bulls are technically fish, since they swim upstream hundreds of miles to gently caress. I used a bamboo rod I hand crafted from the Chinese forest. Literally tore it out of the mouth of a panda and hog tied it just to show it who was boss. Then I shaved it and used it�s monochromatic fur as the very thread for my bamboo rod. This is a sort of lure for the American swimming bull, as they believe the line is actually a Holstein cow, and divert their swimming efforts to gently caress my rod. Once they are caught by the dick, it�s curtains from there and a short trip to my dinner table.

After, of course, appropriate preparation for the dinner.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 04:46

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Sabreseven posted:

Just for fun.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 04:47

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Dusty Lens posted:

I wonder if in our haste we have each of us forgotten to stay frosty.

Have you been ignoring your inner monologue again???

# ? Jan 2, 2018 04:48

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

The Titanic posted:

Bulls are technically fish, since they swim upstream hundreds of miles to gently caress. I used a bamboo rod I hand crafted from the Chinese forest. Literally tore it out of the mouth of a panda and hog tied it just to show it who was boss. Then I shaved it and used it’s monochromatic fur as the very thread for my bamboo rod. This is a sort of lure for the American swimming bull, as they believe the line is actually a Holstein cow, and divert their swimming efforts to gently caress my rod. Once they are caught by the dick, it’s curtains from there and a short trip to my dinner table.

After, of course, appropriate preparation for the dinner.

We could have used your insight a few pages back during the spearfishing conversation.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 04:53

Contingency: Jun 2, 2007; MURDERER

The Titanic posted:

I wish I knew why people bang their heads against the Derek wall. They know what�s going to happen because Derek has done it to many people who have went toe to toe with him.

I guess they feel they will somehow be the Chosen One? The one who owns Derek so hard that he goes in a corner and cries? Because this has happened... never?

Well, good luck to the newest candidate to try to show up Derek at his own game. He�ll probably need all the luck he can get. Though I imagine if they get served actual court papers I have a feeling they get super cooperative, especially since winning an argument on the Internet, especially over a ducking video game, probably gets really stupid sounding at that point.

I can see it being a hamfisted attempt at the following:

1) Have an audience.
2) Pick a fight with DS.
3) Make a stand, and set up a gofundme to support fighting the good fight.
4) Collect a whopping $385.17 after fees, then back down before it gets to court.
5) Claim victory.

The guy is already trying to play up the sympathy angle, and a C&D is his cue to set up the fund. It's a calculated risk, but would pay off as long as DS is willing to accept apologies or retractions.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:07

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

The Titanic posted:

At least your wrists are ok!

Though seriously I hope you aren�t badly hurt.

I'm okay, took a painkiller and had some wine and now things are really, really, really fine.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:08

Ayn Marx: Dec 21, 2012

Happy new year star citizen comedy club. Hard to believe we've been fellow travellers in shitposting for so long.
I remember reading this poo poo at work daily since at least the doobie/dayz/SC combo threads, how many years ago was that? Also where did my life go so wrong

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:11

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

D_Smart posted:

At this point, he's gotta be trolling, because no other explanation makes sense. He probably believes the profanities seal the deal. All that aside from the fact that he still hasn't posted which publishers I bankrupted, despite being asked several times already. I can troll with the best of them, but now I've just blocked him because clearly he's just making GBS threads up the thread.

God drat, man. You of all people should know it could take as long as two weeks to reveal that sort of sensitive information.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:12

Regrettable: Jan 5, 2010

Thoatse posted:

https://i.imgur.com/V9a5qFX.gifv

Good dog

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:12

Fangrim: Aug 23, 2017; Every day I hate the world just a tiny bit more...

TheAgent posted:

I'm okay, took a painkiller and had some wine and now things are really, really, really fine.

Didn't some Star Citizen demo or patch get delayed because some dev fell off a bicycle? Are you Archering their dev cycle/excuses/broken promises?

If so, I'd like to make a Love Pledge for all the jpegs you can produce! ;o)

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:12

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

The Titanic posted:

At least your wrists are ok!

I feel like we'll be hearing this a lot less if we ever make it to 3.1

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:13

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

Fangrim posted:

Didn't some Star Citizen demo or patch get delayed because some dev fell off a bicycle? Are you Archering their dev cycle/excuses/broken promises?

If so, I'd like to make a Love Pledge for all the jobs you can produce! ;o)

Love Pledge is my own personal Star Citizen

I'm Robertsing the living gently caress out of it and I lol everytime I make some change to some piece of art that doesn't matter, instead of sitting my fat rear end back down and writing/coding the remainder of the game

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:15

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

also tonight me and the gal made a pavlova (well she made it actually after I burned my hand) and goddamn those things are good

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:16

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

next time we need to let the eggs we use get to room temperature though, cool eggs make the meringue too runny without fluffy peaks

why no, we haven't been binge watching the great british baking show or anything, either

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:18

no_recall: Aug 17, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

Contingency posted:

as long as DS is willing to accept apologies or retractions.

Hi Mr. Warlord,

I have a sincere request that you do not accept apologies or retractions.

Tia,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Comedy Forum Poster

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:27

Gosts: Jan 15, 2016

TheAgent posted:

next time we need to let the eggs we use get to room temperature though, cool eggs make the meringue too runny without fluffy peaks

why no, we haven't been binge watching the great british baking show or anything, either

looks like we have a regular Paul Hollywood over here.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:29

Abuminable: Mar 30, 2017; Now, aside from the Abuminable, business goes on as usual.

no_recall posted:

Hi Mr. Warlord,

I have a sincere request that you do not accept apologies or retractions.

Tia,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Comedy Forum Poster

Agreed. Damage is done. No retraction nor apology is going to remedy it. Those are never in good faith, anyway. The only reasonable resolution to this dilemma is complete jpeg liquidation and the proceeds being used to purchase LoD licenses.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:34

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Galarox posted:

Happy new year Goonfriends, have some poetry!

e - with thanks to Alfred Lord Tennyson

posting from the distant past to pay :five:

for this utter masterpiece.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:44

BluesShaman: Apr 25, 2016; She wore Blue Velvet.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:51

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

# ? Jan 2, 2018 05:58

CrazyTolradi: Oct 2, 2011; It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

Cue Chris ranting that, "We know it's unplayable, you don't have to tell us!"

# ? Jan 2, 2018 06:02

Experimental Skin: Apr 16, 2016

Dementropy posted:

"Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Star Citizen." Country and Western sleeper hit of the year.

I don't think I would expect this game to reach a playable state until around January ~~2014~~ ~~2015~~ ~~2016~~ ~~2017~~ ~~2018~~ 2019.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 06:04

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

CrazyTolradi posted:

Cue Chris ranting that, "We know it's unplayable, you don't have to tell us!"

# ? Jan 2, 2018 06:04

Dusty Lens: Jul 1, 2015; All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Jobbo_Fett posted:

ARE YOU THREATENING ME?

Now that you've forced my hand, I'm not going to spend time and resources on a single six hour ban, seeing as I've been working on this for months now.

I have never - ever - walked into an anime ban case I didn't prevail in, simply because I'm neither stupid, nor do I take them lightly.

You better hope this is a spear fishing story because my cast iron is piping hot and I'm all covered in butter and garlic

# ? Jan 2, 2018 06:29

skaboomizzy: Nov 12, 2003; There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

So a guy who has dozens of hours of video on YouTube screaming about video games is making a huge show of being concerned about staying anonymous after stepping to famed internet warlord Derek Smart?

This dude seems pretty dumb.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 06:41

The Rabbi T. White: Jul 17, 2008

TheAgent posted:

next time we need to let the eggs we use get to room temperature though, cool eggs make the meringue too runny without fluffy peaks

why no, we haven't been binge watching the great british baking show or anything, either

Wait, wait, wait... You burned your hands making a pavlova? You're obviously Doing It Wrong. The last 30 minutes of the meringue being in the oven, the oven should be off and the door slightly ajar and it should be all but cool by the time you take it out.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 07:02

Zzr: Oct 6, 2016

SomethingJones posted:

Happy new year Star Citizen thread!

Travelling with intermittent internet, there is no way I can catch up, did I miss anything in the last few days?

Is Bootcha's documentary being well received?

Hope everyone is well and in good spirits

Internet is overrated, already old and less care about it each minute passing. The future is the minitel network, it's where all the cool guys are

# ? Jan 2, 2018 07:36

Zzr: Oct 6, 2016

DEREK SMART DEREK SMART DEREK SMART
Just feeding his alert screen for when he wakes up.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 07:41

Strangler 42: Jan 8, 2007; SHAVE IT ALL OFF
ALL OF IT

skaboomizzy posted:

So a guy who has dozens of hours of video on YouTube screaming about video games is making a huge show of being concerned about staying anonymous after stepping to famed internet warlord Derek Smart?

This dude seems pretty dumb.

The funny part is that the people most likely to be pissed at him and likely to do something drastic are the ones that pay him guild fees and patreon donations. They're the ones that got grifted. Montoya is making enough bank to go month to month by telling them Star Citizen is great, gently caress the haters.

And Montoya is probably dumb enough to have given them all his real life address because they're so close and he really wants their money.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 07:54

Lack of Gravitas: Oct 11, 2012; Grimey Drawer

I wonder what Irish Policeman Derek thinks about his Internet Warlord alter ego

# ? Jan 2, 2018 08:08

Rugganovich: Apr 29, 2017

The Titanic posted:

After, of course, appropriate preparation for the dinner.

Your going to Swiss Voodoo your cow then Sears it, aren't you.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 08:55

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Hey guys, pressing the take off button makes my ship go crazy, how do you take off?

It's as simple as opening a menu in a Derek Smart game:

# ? Jan 2, 2018 09:00

Nyast: Nov 14, 2017; BLAZING AT THE
SPEED OF LIGHT

Yvonmukluk posted:

He naturally got called out for it.

https://twitter.com/montoya_test/status/947980002385125376

And yet...he somehow is pouring his money into Star Citizen?

He'll refund a bunch of ships to fund his lawyer fees.

The genius of that...

# ? Jan 2, 2018 09:33

Hazamuth: May 9, 2007; the original bugsy

trucutru posted:

It's as simple as opening a menu in a Derek Smart game:

Only pressing Z sounds too simple for a Smart game. It would have been at least Ctrl+Shift+Z followed by drawing a tree of life from Kabbalah with your mouse if it was the real deal.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 09:34

Chin: Dec 12, 2005; GET LOST 2013
-RALPH

It's amusing that Montoya in his anti-swatting virtue signalling frenzy linked to Derek and the wheelchair guy as evidence of heinous cyber behaviour when what started the entire "him in the wheelchair" episode was Nitro Typat calling for people to swat Derek.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 10:18