Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread

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Snake Maze

Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago

Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus

Got it first try

# ? Jan 2, 2018 01:42

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# ? May 11, 2024 06:01

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

Piece of cake

# ? Jan 2, 2018 01:45

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

oh thank god I don't have to post Zero Escape gifs any more.

...Well, one more, maybe.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 02:31

AweStriker: Oct 6, 2014

That was easy.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 04:03

AceOfFlames: Oct 9, 2012

Leraika posted:

oh thank god I don't have to post Zero Escape gifs any more.

...Well, one more, maybe.

I think this book is the literary equivalent of being stuck inside Zero Time Dilemma.

Also I Solved ~~Lex Luthor�s~~ R. L. Stine�s Maze.

AceOfFlames fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Jan 2, 2018

# ? Jan 2, 2018 04:05

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Well, I was about to post an update, but I forgot that solving the maze just dumps you at the same place as if we'd busted through the walls and then waited for the mist. so there's nothing new to post. To make up for lost time, I'm letting the first vote pick what we do next instead of the option with the most votes.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 0.5/1

Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Turned into a flower by a three-headed man.
Fused with Kip and Abbey into a three-headed monster.
Forcibly inducted into an order of ghost-monks.
Subjected to the least plausible "dream" ending yet.
Crushed to death while contemplating the nature of time.
Turned into a cuckoo and trapped inside a clock.
Switched heads with the Evil Knight.

Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
I Meant To Do That: Encountered a total of 100 bad endings.

Our options posted:

Follow the right pixie.

Go back into the maze.

Say Abbey comes back right away.

Turn left on the giant bird.

Turn right on the giant bird.

Say we aren't ready to fight the Knight.

Press X to not die.

Fix the green clock face.

Fix the pink clock face.

Push the button that says TALES.

Use your head to help Kip.

Fail to escape the maze.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 17:13

MelvinBison: Nov 17, 2012; "Is this the ideal world that you envisioned?"
"I guess you could say that."; Pillbug

Let's fail the maze.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 17:18

XavierGenisi: Nov 7, 2009

we couldn�t figure it out

# ? Jan 2, 2018 18:12

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You and your cousins are desperate You've tried for days to find your way out of the maze of hedges. No luck.

You're weak. Tired. And, most of all, hungry. That's when you kind of lose it.

You never make it out of the hedges alive.

And years later, your bodies are absorbed into the fertile soil. The roots of the hedges find you very tasty.

Basically, you're PLANT FOOD!

THE END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 0.5/1

Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Turned into a flower by a three-headed man.
Fused with Kip and Abbey into a three-headed monster.
Forcibly inducted into an order of ghost-monks.
Subjected to the least plausible "dream" ending yet.
Crushed to death while contemplating the nature of time.
Turned into a cuckoo and trapped inside a clock.
Switched heads with the Evil Knight.
Starved to death while lost in a hedge maze.

Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
I Meant To Do That: Encountered a total of 100 bad endings.

Our options posted:

Follow the right pixie.

Go back into the maze.

Say Abbey comes back right away.

Turn left on the giant bird.

Turn right on the giant bird.

Say we aren't ready to fight the Knight.

Press X to not die.

Fix the green clock face.

Fix the pink clock face.

Push the button that says TALES.

Use your head to help Kip.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 19:32

Friend Commuter: Nov 3, 2009; SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.; Smellrose

Push the Tales button?

# ? Jan 2, 2018 19:34

MelvinBison: Nov 17, 2012; "Is this the ideal world that you envisioned?"
"I guess you could say that."; Pillbug

That was shorter than I expected. Tales sounds good.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 19:37

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

Did anyone else watch Talespin when they were kids? That was entertainment, or at least tolerable.

I'm surprised more of us didn't take the open invitation to deface the book. In this case, such an act is inherently an improvement.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 19:57

AceOfFlames: Oct 9, 2012

Dang, that was surprisingly graphic. :stare:

Let's find some new TALES to tell.

# ? Jan 2, 2018 20:42

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

D-d-d-danger screamin' at you
There's a knight who's out to find you
What can you do but read on for some
Lametales!
Whoo-hoo!

# ? Jan 3, 2018 00:01

PumpkinBat: Oct 22, 2012

Let us play the new JRPG that came out recently, Tales of Goosebumpsia

# ? Jan 3, 2018 08:24

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You push the button that says TALES.

Immediately the three of you are back in your house about to hear one of the greatest tales ever told.

This sends us all the way back to Page 4, where Kip told us the story of the Knight. I wish I was making this poo poo up.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
2 Parchment Pieces
Three-Faced Clock

Goal Endings: 0.5/1

Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Turned into a flower by a three-headed man.
Fused with Kip and Abbey into a three-headed monster.
Forcibly inducted into an order of ghost-monks.
Subjected to the least plausible "dream" ending yet.
Crushed to death while contemplating the nature of time.
Turned into a cuckoo and trapped inside a clock.
Switched heads with the Evil Knight.
Starved to death while lost in a hedge maze.

Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
I Meant To Do That: Encountered a total of 100 bad endings.

Our options posted:

Follow the right pixie.

Go back into the maze.

Say Abbey comes back right away.

Turn left on the giant bird.

Turn right on the giant bird.

Say we aren't ready to fight the Knight.

Press X to not die.

Fix the green clock face.

Fix the pink clock face.

Use your head to help Kip.

# ? Jan 3, 2018 16:33

MelvinBison: Nov 17, 2012; "Is this the ideal world that you envisioned?"
"I guess you could say that."; Pillbug

I feel like this should count as a bad ending, as having to sit through the whole story a second time is a pretty terrible fate.

Use your head.

# ? Jan 3, 2018 16:46

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

on bird.

# ? Jan 3, 2018 17:13

AweStriker: Oct 6, 2014

this book gets worse and worse

only our head will be of use escaping it

# ? Jan 3, 2018 17:18

Octatonic: Sep 7, 2010

I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE TALES BRO

I loving TOLD YOU

anyway, fix the green clockface

# ? Jan 3, 2018 20:31

AnAnonymousIdiot: Sep 14, 2013

To the right pixie!

Also, should there be a counter for how many times we loop?

# ? Jan 3, 2018 20:44

rudecyrus: Nov 6, 2009; fuck you trolls

Use our head

# ? Jan 3, 2018 21:28

Android Blues: Nov 22, 2008

Rebonack7 posted:

This sends us all the way back to Page 4, where Kip told us the story of the Knight. I wish I was making this poo poo up.

gently caress. gently caress!

# ? Jan 3, 2018 22:27

PumpkinBat: Oct 22, 2012

This book somehow manages to get worse.

Listen to the fae, specifically the right pixie.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 12:27

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

Your mother always told you to "Use your head." Now's your chance! Quick, before Kip loses his!

It seems that all you have to do to switch your head in this crazy room is to stare into the eyes of another. Without a moment to lose, you move in front of Queen Abbey. You look directly into her eyes and...

"Guards!" you shout a second later. "Return to your headstands at once!" Now you are the Queen with the diamond tiara and the guards must obey you!

The rolling heads of the guards reverse their rolling direction immediately. Keeping their formation, they roll back to their headstands and plant themselves on the shelf. Kip is safe!

All is well. Except for one little problem - Abbey has your head on, you look like a Queen, and Kip is a hideous, snarling gargoyle. Any idea how to fix this mess? Maybe, if you put your heads together, you might come up with something.

quote:

All this head-switching business is giving you a royal headache. And you still have the head of a queen! This can't be the way it all ends. You as a queen, Abbey as you, and Kip as a drooling gargoyle.

You think of the missing armor. The suit of Sir Edmund, the Good Knight. You think of the pieces of parchment you found - the clues along the way. Surely, you're destined to find the armor. What did the parchment say? Before the break of day brings light, One Good shall fight one Evil Knight. If not, the Evil Knight will destroy all that is good. That can't be good for you.

RRRIIIINNGGG! Somewhere, you hear a clock strike. It sounds like it's far away. And what's that tickling your belly?

The clock! It's not far away, it's under your sweatshirt! You pull it out and look at it. Both the green and the pink clocks say 6:00 A.M. The sun will be up soon!

As if on cue, all the heads in the room start screaming! And this room has a lot of heads! Even Abbey and Kip, or what's left of them, scream. Before the break of day brings light... you think. You're running out of time! Already you can hear the chilling laughter of the Knight in Screaming Armor closing in!

If time is on your side, turn to PAGE 25.

If time is against you, turn to PAGE 14.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
2 Parchment Pieces
Three-Faced Clock

Goal Endings: 0.5/1

Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Turned into a flower by a three-headed man.
Fused with Kip and Abbey into a three-headed monster.
Forcibly inducted into an order of ghost-monks.
Subjected to the least plausible "dream" ending yet.
Crushed to death while contemplating the nature of time.
Turned into a cuckoo and trapped inside a clock.
Switched heads with the Evil Knight.
Starved to death while lost in a hedge maze.

Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
I Meant To Do That: Encountered a total of 100 bad endings.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 21:31

Friend Commuter: Nov 3, 2009; SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.; Smellrose

Time is on our side because sooner or later, we will reach the end of this book.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 21:33

BioEnchanted: Aug 9, 2011; He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

They swapped heads with other heads in the room - just look into the eyes of your own head, swapping back should be easy! They are just on the shelves with all the others. They just figured that out!

# ? Jan 4, 2018 21:34

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

How is this using our own head when we immediately swap it for another one?

We've got time.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 21:43

AweStriker: Oct 6, 2014

Time? We have time.

# ? Jan 4, 2018 23:45

AnAnonymousIdiot: Sep 14, 2013

I dunno about you guys but I don't think we have time.

# ? Jan 5, 2018 00:17

MelvinBison: Nov 17, 2012; "Is this the ideal world that you envisioned?"
"I guess you could say that."; Pillbug

There's always time for a song.

# ? Jan 5, 2018 01:26

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

No time for dumb, Dr. Jones!

# ? Jan 5, 2018 04:30

XavierGenisi: Nov 7, 2009

Time is on our side

# ? Jan 5, 2018 04:37

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

Time is on your side. Without even thinking, you turn back the hands on the silvery-green clock face. You're careful not to move them too much.

Time goes in reverse. But only a few minutes. You watch in fascination as the last few minutes are rewound like on a VCR. Heads pop on and off until you're all back to normal and you're back where you started again. Your heads are spinning. Your ears are ringing. And your noses are pressed up against a wall of glass.

You see two buttons. One says HEADS and the other says TALES. You reach into your pocket and pull out a coin.

Flip a coin to help you decide which button to push. If you push HEADS, turn to PAGE 103.

If you push TALES, turn to PAGE 26.

Yep, this is another loop.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
2 Parchment Pieces
Three-Faced Clock

Goal Endings: 0.5/1

Bad Endings
Turned into one of the Evil Knight's servants.
Trapped in a wall of mud by the Mud Slingers.
Thrown off a mountain and turned to stone.
Turned into a flower by a three-headed man.
Fused with Kip and Abbey into a three-headed monster.
Forcibly inducted into an order of ghost-monks.
Subjected to the least plausible "dream" ending yet.
Crushed to death while contemplating the nature of time.
Turned into a cuckoo and trapped inside a clock.
Switched heads with the Evil Knight.
Starved to death while lost in a hedge maze.

Achievements
Rage from a Page: Wasted time on the most pointless fourth-wall reference ever.
I Meant To Do That: Encountered a total of 100 bad endings.

Our options posted:

Follow the right pixie.

Go back into the maze.

Say Abbey comes back right away.

Turn left on the giant bird.

Turn right on the giant bird.

Say we aren't ready to fight the Knight.

Press X to not die.

Fix the green clock face.

Say time is against us.

# ? Jan 5, 2018 19:17

Friend Commuter: Nov 3, 2009; SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.; Smellrose

Well, piss. I guess time is against us after all.

# ? Jan 5, 2018 19:26

AweStriker: Oct 6, 2014

This entire book is our enemy, and of course that includes whatever passes for time in it.

# ? Jan 5, 2018 19:27

AnAnonymousIdiot: Sep 14, 2013

Time is against us here.

# ? Jan 5, 2018 19:29

MelvinBison: Nov 17, 2012; "Is this the ideal world that you envisioned?"
"I guess you could say that."; Pillbug

Time is just awful.

# ? Jan 5, 2018 21:14

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3yQERVphWhY

# ? Jan 5, 2018 21:31

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# ? May 11, 2024 06:01

rudecyrus: Nov 6, 2009; fuck you trolls

Goddamn, this book is a grind.

# ? Jan 6, 2018 01:35

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread

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