Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Illuminati went down to Taco Bell, looking for some Baja Blast,
They were so drat angry, 'cause they was hangry,
They was lookin' for a cheap repast.
When they came across this fat man
Chewing on a taco so spicy-hot
And the Illuminati dunked their hickory sauce and said,
"Boy let me tell you what:
I guess you didn´t know it, but we're foodies too,
And if you'd care to take a dare,
We'll make a bet with you
Now you gorge on them chalupas pretty drat good,
Boy, but give the Illuminati their due
We'll bet an empenada of gold against your soul
'Cause we think we binge-eat better than you"

The fattie said, "My name's Chuck, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret,
'Cause I'm the best there's ever been"

Chuck, refill your Coke and down them Crunchwraps hard,
'Cause hell's broke loose in Taco Bell and the Illuminati deals the cards
And if you win you'll get this shiny empenada made of gold,
But if you lose, the Illuminati gets your soul!

The Illuminati opened up the take-out bag and they said, "We'll start this show"
And cheeto-dust blew from their fingertips as they unwrapped their combo
They poured the fire-sauce across their food and it made an evil hiss
Then the midnight to 4am cleaning crew joined in,
And the chewing sounded something like this

When the Illuminati finished, Chuck said,
"Well you're pretty good, old son
But sit down on that stool right there
And let me show you how it's done!"

Fire on the grillers, run, boys, run
The Illuminati´s in the house of the day-old buns
Chicken on the KFC-side, fried up to order,
Granny get your food here, make a run for the border.

The Illuminati bowed their heads because they knew that they'd been beat
And they laid that golden empenada on the ground at Chuck´s feet
Chuck said, "Illuminati, just come on back
If you ever want to eat again,
I done told you once, you sons of a bitch,
I eat the best there´s ever been"

He played,
Fire on the grillers, run, boys, run
The Illuminati´s in the house of the day-old buns
Chicken on the KFC-side, fried up to order,
Granny get your food here, make a run for the border.

The Saddest Rhino posted:

The Saddest Rhino posted:

Absurd Alhazred posted:

https://twitter.com/waltshaub/status/950921615126261760

AlbieQuirky posted:

For those not addicted to US politics, Mr. Shaub is the former director of the US Office of Government Ethics.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

If that were me I would not have the self-control not to write and speak in all-caps 24/7.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

https://twitter.com/waltshaub/status/950921615126261760

on the bored wop posted:

I thought that was Hank Williams Jr.

T-man posted:

Taco Bell has a deal to be Pepsi exclusive, bad song.

preemptive, I know what I am.

Sunswipe posted:

How the hell did they win the franchise wars then?

T-man posted:

Taco Bell has a deal to be Pepsi exclusive, bad song.

preemptive, I know what I am.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Illuminati went down to Taco Bell, looking for some Baja Blast,
They were so drat angry, 'cause they was hangry,
They was lookin' for a cheap repast.
When they came across this fat man
Chewing on a taco so spicy-hot
And the Illuminati dunked their hickory sauce and said,
"Boy let me tell you what:
I guess you didn´t know it, but we're foodies too,
And if you'd care to take a dare,
We'll make a bet with you
Now you gorge on them chalupas pretty drat good,
Boy, but give the Illuminati their due
We'll bet an empenada of gold against your soul
'Cause we think we binge-eat better than you"

The fattie said, "My name's Chuck, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret,
'Cause I'm the best there's ever been"

Chuck, refill your Coke and down them Crunchwraps hard,
'Cause hell's broke loose in Taco Bell and the Illuminati deals the cards
And if you win you'll get this shiny empenada made of gold,
But if you lose, the Illuminati gets your soul!

The Illuminati opened up the take-out bag and they said, "We'll start this show"
And cheeto-dust blew from their fingertips as they unwrapped their combo
They poured the fire-sauce across their food and it made an evil hiss
Then the midnight to 4am cleaning crew joined in,
And the chewing sounded something like this

When the Illuminati finished, Chuck said,
"Well you're pretty good, old son
But sit down on that stool right there
And let me show you how it's done!"

Fire on the grillers, run, boys, run
The Illuminati´s in the house of the day-old buns
Chicken on the KFC-side, fried up to order,
Granny get your food here, make a run for the border.

The Illuminati bowed their heads because they knew that they'd been beat
And they laid that golden empenada on the ground at Chuck´s feet
Chuck said, "Illuminati, just come on back
If you ever want to eat again,
I done told you once, you sons of a bitch,
I eat the best there´s ever been"

He played,
Fire on the grillers, run, boys, run
The Illuminati´s in the house of the day-old buns
Chicken on the KFC-side, fried up to order,
Granny get your food here, make a run for the border.

Fathis Munk posted:

at considering your social media as a weapons system against globalism.

Memento posted:

https://twitter.com/AngelaHanks/status/950745522297561088

joylessdivision posted:

Sweet baby Jesus. So this is a dude I've known since I was about 10, and he's probably got about 5 years on me. Generally speaking very funny dude, was my pot hookup at one point.

Then my dad mentioned he and his wife and kids/parents were moving to middle America somewhere and that he'd gotten really into Alex Jones.

He apparently just reactivated his FB and this was the first thing I saw.

grittyreboot posted:

Pretty much every weed dealer I've ever met was like this. Normal at first, then they nosedive into every possible conspiracy theory they can find.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

It's almost like smoking massive amounts of dope has unfortunate side effects.

Zipperelli. posted:

Edit: anyone else having a problem with tweets being broken like this? Literally every tweet posted is broken for me.

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

The Illuminati went down to Taco Bell, looking for some Baja Blast,
They were so drat angry, 'cause they was hangry,
They was lookin' for a cheap repast.
When they came across this fat man
Chewing on a taco so spicy-hot
And the Illuminati dunked their hickory sauce and said,
"Boy let me tell you what:
I guess you didn´t know it, but we're foodies too,
And if you'd care to take a dare,
We'll make a bet with you
Now you gorge on them chalupas pretty drat good,
Boy, but give the Illuminati their due
We'll bet an empenada of gold against your soul
'Cause we think we binge-eat better than you"

The fattie said, "My name's Chuck, and it might be a sin,
But I'll take your bet, you're gonna regret,
'Cause I'm the best there's ever been"

Chuck, refill your Coke and down them Crunchwraps hard,
'Cause hell's broke loose in Taco Bell and the Illuminati deals the cards
And if you win you'll get this shiny empenada made of gold,
But if you lose, the Illuminati gets your soul!

The Illuminati opened up the take-out bag and they said, "We'll start this show"
And cheeto-dust blew from their fingertips as they unwrapped their combo
They poured the fire-sauce across their food and it made an evil hiss
Then the midnight to 4am cleaning crew joined in,
And the chewing sounded something like this

When the Illuminati finished, Chuck said,
"Well you're pretty good, old son
But sit down on that stool right there
And let me show you how it's done!"

Fire on the grillers, run, boys, run
The Illuminati´s in the house of the day-old buns
Chicken on the KFC-side, fried up to order,
Granny get your food here, make a run for the border.

The Illuminati bowed their heads because they knew that they'd been beat
And they laid that golden empenada on the ground at Chuck´s feet
Chuck said, "Illuminati, just come on back
If you ever want to eat again,
I done told you once, you sons of a bitch,
I eat the best there´s ever been"

He played,
Fire on the grillers, run, boys, run
The Illuminati´s in the house of the day-old buns
Chicken on the KFC-side, fried up to order,
Granny get your food here, make a run for the border.

Mak0rz posted:

If only there weren't no dang immigrants TSA agents wouldn't have to screen innocent children!

Trig Discipline posted:

Yeah that's happening to me on my ipad and iphone.

nael posted:

Krispy Wafer posted:

The worst loving episode of Law and Order: SVU. Everyone trying to explain homeotherapy to Ice T.

"so if I like put my bullet in water, that's now bullet water and I'm bullet proof?"

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

It's almost like smoking massive amounts of dope has unfortunate side effects.

Zipperelli. posted:

Like yeah man, I smoked weed once and my eyes were immediately opened to Bush doing 9/11, never having been to the moon and chemtrails, maaaaaaan

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

smoking massive amounts

Zipperelli. posted:

smoked weed once

Krispy Wafer posted:

The worst loving episode of Law and Order: SVU. Everyone trying to explain homeotherapy to Ice T.

"so if I like put my bullet in water, that's now bullet water and I'm bullet proof?"

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

It's almost like smoking massive amounts of dope has unfortunate side effects.

DACK FAYDEN posted:

That sounds exactly correct to me, though. So I mean, he nailed it in one.

Biplane posted:

Globalism is good and cool, why do people hate it

Biplane posted:

Globalism is good and cool, why do people hate it

chitoryu12 posted:

Might also be because drug dealing is naturally a lifestyle that gets you into justifiable paranoia, so freaking out and believing every secret threat you're told about is normal.

Biplane posted:

Globalism is good and cool, why do people hate it