- Epicmissingno
- Jul 1, 2017
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Thank gooness we all get along so well!
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So this sorceress just shows up out of nowhere, does nothing and dies out of nowhere? Okay, then.
Also, it wasn't a dream! It was a time paradox that also came completely out of nowhere. Apparently this book really likes things that show up for no reason and leave for equally little reason.
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Jan 11, 2018 03:25
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 13:59
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- PumpkinBat
- Oct 22, 2012
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I can sort of see what the book intended. The Evil Knight pulls us into a sort of nightmare world, which explains the insane dream logic and imagery.
The concept is there, but executed poorly. It ends up feeling random.
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Jan 11, 2018 04:51
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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thank loving lord
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Jan 11, 2018 05:14
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- Epicurius
- Apr 10, 2010
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College Slice
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So, having sat through this book, I got to thinking about rules that gamebooks/choose your own adventure books should follow, because I'm thinking this book serves as a great negative example. Honestly, I hated this book, and while none of the books we've read so far are classics of modern literature, this book is by far the worst.
1. The book should have choices. Otherwise, it's not a choose your own adventure book.
2. These choices should be meaningful. If you choose X, there should be a different result than if you choose Y. There shouldn't be false choices.
3. The choices shouldn't be blind. If the choice is to, say, go left and right. It should be after distinguishing between the two. Maybe there are footprints in the dust in the lefthand path. Maybe the righthand path seems warmer. The reader should at least feel that he made his choice for a reason.
4. The choice should have logical consequences flowing from the choice. Maybe if you go down the warmhand right path, you come across a dragon's lair. Maybe it's a blacksmith's forge. Maybe a room is on fire. In general, though, the result should be compatible with the choice made. If you go down the righthand path, you shouldn't fall into an icepit, or be transported to a magical world where squirrels can speak in rhyme.
5. Some gamebooks, like the Steve Jackson Fighting Fantasy books or the Joe Deaver Lone Wolf books include a fighting subsystem that is at least partly determined by random chance. You might have to roll over a certain amount to kill your enemies. With the exception of specialized systems like that, you should try to avoid results dependent on chance, as it removes player agency. Try to stay away from, "Flip a coin.. If it comes up heads, you win." or "If today is Tuesday, turn to page 185." While chance is a factor in real life, a good gamebook determines the result of actions by the player's choices, not by mere chance.
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Jan 11, 2018 05:42
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- PZ Smeltzenseltzer
- Feb 3, 2008
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fortran
~*with style*~
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quote: And the proof is on your bedroom floor at Abbey's feet: a small crumpled up scrap of metal. You almost didn't notice it. Except that it's steaming.
more like Knight in Steaming Armor, as in steaming piece of poo poo, like this book
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Jan 11, 2018 07:09
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Thank goodness it's over. That was an ORDEAL. I'd rather suffer through Werewolf Woods several times than go through that again. Hope the next one is better.
Petition to have OP burn this book and record it for our viewing entertainment.
This.
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Jan 11, 2018 10:51
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- Tenebrais
- Sep 2, 2011
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So, having sat through this book, I got to thinking about rules that gamebooks/choose your own adventure books should follow, because I'm thinking this book serves as a great negative example. Honestly, I hated this book, and while none of the books we've read so far are classics of modern literature, this book is by far the worst.
I'd add one, that this book violates a lot - the choices available should be decisions your character makes. Not things like "do you wake up from unconsciousness" or "does your companion come back".
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Jan 11, 2018 13:44
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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Personally, I don't mind luck choices (do you go left or right) as long as a) they open up new paths (both have things to do, one isn't 'lol u get eaten by dragon' next page) and/OR are interesting in general - something like 'we're determining this luck check by real world factors like what day it is or if you're wearing a sweater' is more interesting to me than 'you choose to go left and die'.
When it's something like 'does Abbey come back right away or float off into the abyss', though, it feels weird and dumb and metagamey. Press X to not die does not work in a book.
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Jan 11, 2018 17:47
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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GIVE YOURSELF GOOSEBUMPS #10: DIARY OF A MAD MUMMY
quote:
"Welcome to San Francisco," the tour guide says. Her voice echoes in the marble lobby of the office building. "This is the famous Pyramid Building - the city's most famous skyscraper."
"When do we get to see the mummy?" your five-year-old sister whines at your side.
You cringe and squeeze Susie's hand. You wish you didn't have to drag her around. But taking care of her is always your job on family vacations.
Oh, well, you think. Who cares? This is going to be the best vacation ever. You and your family are staying in a hotel in downtown San Francisco. You have a view of the whole city from your window - including the tall, spindly Pyramid Building just a few blocks away. And this month, there's a display of ancient Egyptian artifacts in the lobby. Including a real mummy! You can't wait to check it out!
"I want the mummy!" Susie whines again.
"I want my mummy! I want my mummy!" your older brother Derek chants, imitating Susie's babyish voice.
You laugh at Derek's joke. Then you whisper to Susie, "We'll see it just as soon as that tour group gets out of the way."
You peer through the crowd at the mummy in his glass case.
Hey! Did the mummy just move?
quote:
Your heart starts pounding. It can't be! But you know you just saw the mummy's arm move!
Didn't anyone else see it?
You stare hard at the brightly lit display cases in the middle of the lobby. A tour group crowds around the glass, blocking your view. So you stand on your tiptoes. Under a pinkish halogen light, you can see an ancient bandaged mummy lying in a beautiful, gold-painted wooden box.
It's the first mummy you've ever seen. A king from more than four thousand years ago.
A dead person.
Something about it gives you the creeps.
The tour group moves away, and the lobby clears. "Come on!" Susie squeals, pulling you toward the mummy case. A strange chill runs up your spine as you step closer.
You gaze at the mummy's face and shudder. It is hideous. Part of his face is still wrapped up - but part of it isn't. You can see his dried, leathery skin stretched tightly over his shrunken, bony nose.
You back away - and your foot bumps into something on the floor.
quote:
You glance down to see what you've kicked.
"Hey - look!" you cry out softly.
But no one is listening. The tour group scattered. Susie has let go of your hand. She's pressing her nose to the glass in front of the wooden mummy case. As usual, your fourteen-year-old brother, Derek, is acting as if he doesn't know any of you. He's talking to some kids by the door. Your parents examine another display case.
No one notices what you've found on the floor. You pick it up. It's a small clump of folded pages tied together at the edge with dried grass. It looks like some kind of ancient book.
You open it carefully. The pages seem as if they might crumble in your hands. You peer at the squiggly markings on the page. To your surprise you recognize words... they're in English! The handwriting is hard to read, but finally you figure out what it says:
"This is the first day in my tomb. I am wrapped so tightly that I fear I may never breathe again. The bandages that preserve me are a prison. I am a king, yet they have brought me here, drained me of my blood, and bound me with bandages. Against my will! Stop! I beg them. Do not do this horrible thing! I am not dead! I am alive!"
quote:
Your mouth drops open as you flip through the ancient pages. Could this be a diary of some kind? A mummy's diary? Written four thousand years ago?
But why isn't it ancient hieroglyphics? How can it be in English?
This is weird. Definitely weird. But somehow, in your heart, you know the diary is real. Every word of it is true.
You glance around again. No one notices you. You turn to another page and read on.
"I am embalmed alive. Me. The pharaoh. The king! And why? For one reason only. Because, upon my neck, I bear a strange birthmark - a red stain in a strange shape that frightens my people. They think it is a sign of evil."
"Even I am not sure what it means. Does it really mean I am evil? Could I actually hurt people? Am I mad?"
Your hands tremble as you flip to another page and read on.
"Each night my spirit walks the earth. For centuries. Each night my spirit writes this diary. But now, at last, my chance has come. Tonight, my body will walk the earth! Tonight, here in this strangest of all pyramids, I will escape my prison!"
quote:
Can it be possible?
Is the mummy going to escape tonight? How?
And is this the "strangest of all pyramids"? The Pyramid Building? It would seem strange to some old pharaoh, you guess.
You read over the same pages again - trying to make sense of them.
"Each night my spirit writes this diary," it says.
No way! you think. He isn't writing this with his hand. He's writing with his mind! The mummy thinks something, and it appears on the page.
Awesome.
You shoot a quick, sideways glance to make sure the lobby guard isn't watching. Then you tuck the diary under your shirt.
quote:
You've got to read more of this. It's amazing. The mummy writes it with his mind!
But just then you hear your mother calling your name. "Yoo-hoo." Again she calls you. "Bring Susie and come on!" she says.
You've got to get away so you can look at the diary. You don't want your parents to see it and take it away from you. Not after you just found it! You scan the lobby for someplace to go.
You spot an elevator.
Hmmm. Maybe you can duck in there and zoom to the top of the pyramid. Finish reading the diary before someone finds you.
Or maybe you should just keep the diary hidden and wait. You don't want to get into trouble with Mom and Dad. And besides, your hotel isn't too far away. You could sneak back here tonight to see if the mummy really escapes. The diary says, "Tonight... I will escape my prison." So what will it be?
If you come back tonight, turn to PAGE 20.
If you take the elevator now, turn to PAGE 43.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
 Mummy's Diary
Goal Endings: 0/3
Bad Endings
None yet.
Achievements
None yet.
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Jan 11, 2018 21:50
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- Friend Commuter
- Nov 3, 2009
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SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.
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Smellrose
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Take it to the top.
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Jan 11, 2018 21:56
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- Epicmissingno
- Jul 1, 2017
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Thank gooness we all get along so well!
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Wait, three goal endings? Looks like it's making up for the lack of the things in the last book.
Come back later.
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Jan 11, 2018 22:13
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Later.
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Jan 11, 2018 22:44
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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I remember this one having a couple of really unsettling endings in it. Let's come back later.
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Jan 11, 2018 23:16
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- VivaLa Eeveelution
- Apr 3, 2011
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Obviously reading this book is important to us; as much as we risk our mother's wrath for fleeing in the elevator, I believe it's a far greater risk to hide the book for later perusal lest our Obligatory Annoying Siblings find and deface it.
Besides, our mother shouldn't be surprised that we hardly listen to her:
quote:But just then you hear your mother calling your name. "Yoo-hoo."
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Jan 12, 2018 01:43
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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Come back tonight. We should also bring some popcorn
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Jan 12, 2018 02:57
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
A dead mummy coming alive again? You want to see that!
You hold the diary hidden inside your shirt and look around for Susie. "Coming, Mother!" you say. You'll come back tonight and find out if what the diary says is really true.
"See you later," you whisper to the mummy. He looks completely dead to you. But... you know you saw his arm move.
You keep the diary hidden in your shirt during dinner in Chinatown. You never get a chance to read it. Back at the hotel, Susie is hungry again. She insists on ordering from room service, but they never show up. She wants to stay up waiting, but eventually your parents make you all go to bed.
Finally, when everyone else is asleep, you sneak out of the hotel. The cool, foggy night air makes you shiver as you walk two blocks to the Pyramid Building. The streets are empty at this time of night.
When you reach the building, you slip in through the open front door - and find the lobby guard asleep. He's sitting on a stool, slumped over a tall reception desk. A small light on his desk gives the cavernous lobby an eerie glow.
You step past the guard, toward the displays in the center of the lobby. After a minute, your eyes adjust to the dim light.
Then you spot it - and gasp!
The glass case holding the mummy is broken. The mummy is gone!
quote:
You stare at the display case. Your hands are clammy. Your heart beats faster.
You can't believe it. Has the mummy really escaped?
All the other glass cases are fine. There's a fancy golden throne in one, a large, feather-shaped fan in another. Only the mummy display case is broken. Only the mummy is gone.
You missed it. You're too late.
Broken glass litters the floor at your feet. It seems as if the mummy practically exploded out of his case!
Slowly, you inch closer. You glance down, avoiding the glass. That's when you spot it. A trail of old cloth bandages. Not just one, either. A whole bunch of them.
You know this is crazy, but it looks as if the mummy unwrapped himself as he ran away!
You can't see the bandages very well in the dark. So you bend over to pick one up. But something stops you.
A noise.
Someone is coming from the far side of the lobby. You'd better get out of there - fast!
If you pick up the bandages, turn to PAGE 51.
If you think you'd better run, turn to PAGE 18.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Mummy's Diary
Goal Endings: 0/3
Bad Endings
None yet.
Achievements
None yet.
Rebonack7 fucked around with this message at 01:26 on Jan 13, 2018
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Jan 12, 2018 03:05
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- DreamingofRoses
- Jun 27, 2013
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Nap Ghost
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Scram, it's the fuzz!
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Jan 12, 2018 04:00
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Touch it.
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Jan 12, 2018 07:41
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- VivaLa Eeveelution
- Apr 3, 2011
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#
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Jan 12, 2018 07:49
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- Friend Commuter
- Nov 3, 2009
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SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.
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Smellrose
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That mummy is gonna be so embarrassed when we catch him running around naked. Better grab the bandages.
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Jan 12, 2018 12:30
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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Pass the popcorn
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Jan 12, 2018 17:40
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- Friend Commuter
- Nov 3, 2009
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SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.
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Smellrose
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Let's stick this one out.
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Jan 12, 2018 18:48
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
You decide to stay hidden behind the pillar. You want to find out if it's the mummy. You have to see if the mummy really came back to life!
SCRAPE... SCRAPE...
The footsteps sound nearer... nearer...
You can't stand it anymore! You peek your head around the corner.
The figure steps into the dim light of the lobby from a nearby hall.
It's the mummy!
And he's alive!
quote:
Your heart pounds faster and faster. The diary was true! But how? How can an ancient mummy come back to life?
The mummy is taller than you had expected. And bulkier, too. In fact, he seems to be about six feet five, and he's built more like a football player than a dead king.
He could flatten me with one hand, you think.
SCRAPE... SCRAPE...
He's coming closer.
SCRAPE... SCRAPE...
He's bigger than his mummy case, you realize.
But how can that be? Did he grow larger when he came back to life?
Better stop wondering and start worrying! You've been so fascinated by the mummy, you forgot that if you can see him, he can probably see you!
You pop your head back behind the pillar.
Now what?
You are hiding from a huge, living mummy in the middle of the night with no one around to help you. Running away seems like an excellent idea.
But as soon as you take a step past the pillar, two bandaged hands wrap around your throat!
quote:
"Don't!" you cry out, although the mummy is nearly choking you and you can hardly breathe. The sound of your voice is muffled, tiny. Not even loud enough to wake the guard.
The mummy lifts you off the ground by the throat. You clutch at his bandaged hands, trying to pull them off your neck. His grip relaxes just enough to allow you to breathe.
But he doesn't let go.
You stare into his eyes. They seem hollow, empty. Dead.
Then he opens his mouth.
Is he going to speak?
What will the ancient king say to you?
quote:
You hang from the mummy's grip, terrified. Your feet dangle several inches off the floor. But you still can't wait to hear what the mummy has to say.
"Welcome to the Pyramid Building," the mummy announces.
Huh?
That's it? That's the message from beyond the grave? Rip-off! Bogus!
"Put me down!" you yell and you kick the mummy's knees.
Owwwwww! Your toe bangs into the mummy's bandaged leg, only it's not soft and leathery. It feels hard, more like metal.
Then you hear sounds down the hall. Another figure appears in the dim light of the lobby.
"Over here, Sylvia," the figure calls out. "Found him." The person steps out of the shadows. It's a guy in jeans and a sweatshirt, carrying a remote control.
Definitely human.
"What are you doing in here?" the man demands.
You can't answer. The mummy still has you by the throat.
quote:
"Oh, sorry." The guy presses a button on the remote and the mummy releases you. You crash to the floor.
A young woman with dark, curly hair rushes into the lobby. You figure she must be Sylvia. She races over to the mummy. "Brad! Is Manny okay?" she asks.
"I think he's fine," Brad tells her.
"What about me?" you grumble. You scramble to your feet. Your neck hurts where the mummy choked you, your toe hurts where you kicked him, and your backside hurts where you landed.
Sylvia turns to you, eyes flashing. "What were you doing to Manny?" She puts her arm around the mummy.
"I wasn't doing anything to him," you protest. "He was trying to kill me!"
Brad and Sylvia laugh. "I guess it works," Brad says.
Brad and Sylvia explain that Manny the Mummy is a robot. He's part of a publicity stunt for the exhibit. They were just testing him out to make sure he worked. "We didn't expect anyone else to be around in the middle of the night!" Brad says.
Manny the Mummy is totally cool! So are Brad and Sylvia. They let you play with the controls. They even ask you to be part of the promotion! You get to be the one who screams.
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Mummy's Diary
Goal Endings: 0/3
Bad Endings
None yet.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
Our options posted:
- Hide in the elevator.
- Pick up the bandages.
- Go back to the hotel.
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#
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Jan 13, 2018 01:25
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- Blockhouse
- Sep 7, 2014
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You Win!
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My ex and I did this book together about a year ago and this ending absolutely killed us
fucker built a weird choke sex robot and just threw some mummy bandages on it
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#
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Jan 13, 2018 02:16
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Well okay.
Go back to the hotel
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Jan 13, 2018 04:25
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Return to the hotel
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#
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Jan 13, 2018 05:54
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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quote:"This is the first day in my tomb. I am wrapped so tightly that I fear I may never breathe again. The bandages that preserve me are a prison. I am a king, yet they have brought me here, drained me of my blood, and bound me with bandages. Against my will! Stop! I beg them. Do not do this horrible thing! I am not dead! I am alive!"
Dang, they are NOT loving around this time. Looking forward to this already.
Return to the hotel.
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#
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Jan 13, 2018 16:19
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
I'm out of here, you decide. Running into a mummy or a guard would probably be bad news.
You race through the revolving door at the front of the lobby. You run down the dark, empty streets toward your hotel.
Hey - are those footsteps behind you?
You don't look back. You don't want to know if the mummy is behind you!
Finally you reach your hotel room and slip inside with your key.
Phew, you think. Safe.
Luckily, everyone is still asleep. Your parents' door is closed, so they don't even hear you come in.
The room is really a suite. Your parents are sleeping in the bedroom and you, Derek, and Susie have the living room. A thin blade of light streams into the living room from the bathroom. The light is left on for Susie, who snores on the sofa. Derek is stretched out on a cot.
You tiptoe past him, heading toward your sleeping bag on the floor.
Suddenly a hand reaches out and grabs your arm!
quote:
Yikes!
You jump, stumbling over Derek's cot. When you catch your balance, you spin around. You see your brother grinning at you in the dim light.
"What are you doing up?" Derek whispers. He lets go of your arm. "Where did you go?"
"Shhhh," you whisper, pointing as Susie. You don't want him to wake her.
Then you tell him all about the mummy. And the mummy's diary.
"Let me see it," Derek demands, sitting on his cot. He loves this kind of thing.
With the light from the bathroom, you can see the diary lying on top of your sleeping bag. You had to bring your sleeping bag along, because the hotel couldn't fit another cot in the room.
The diary is right where you left it.
Except...
You didn't leave it lying open, did you?
You rush over and pick up the ancient book.
Someone has just written in the diary! And the ink is still wet!
quote:
"Whoa, Derek," you murmur softly. "Something really freaky is going on." Trembling, you sit beside Derek on the cot. You read the new entry out loud:
"I have waited forty centuries for this night. The night when the stars are once again just as they were on the night of my birth. The night I can return to life! But now it is not to be. Why? I was too eager. I tried the spell too soon and the diary has fallen from my hands!"
"I knew it!" you whisper to Derek. "I knew I saw his arm move. That's when he dropped the diary."
You go back to reading:
"And now, my diary has been stolen. My life has been stolen! I must take revenge on the one who steals my magic. Perhaps destroy the thief!"
Revenge. Destroy! The words are horrible. They jump out at you from the page, a terrifying warning.
Derek lets out a low whistle. "But how did he write that?" he asks. "How did he get in here?
You remember the words you read earlier. "He - he wrote it with his mind," you explain.
Derek's eyes widen. "But how - "
A knock at the door cuts him off. Who's there?
quote:
You clutch Derek's hand. "Don't answer it!" you whisper.
Derek stares at you. "But it might be room service," he protests.
"Room service? Now?" You glance at the clock. It's one A.M.
"Yeah. We ordered food three hours ago, remember?" Derek says. "But it never came. Maybe that's it now."
"Or maybe it's the mummy," you argue.
"Only one way to find out," Derek tells you.
He's right. And as scared as you are, you know you have to find out.
Is there a living mummy on the other side of the door?
"Okay," you grumble. "A quick peek."
"Hold on a second." Derek grabs the diary out of your hands and shoves it under his mattress. Then he nods at you. You cross to the door and take a deep breath.
You open the door just a crack and peer out.
All you can see is a gauzy, bandaged arm.
Are you going to open the door all the way?
If no, turn to PAGE 23.
If yes, turn to PAGE 40.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Mummy's Diary
Goal Endings: 0/3
Bad Endings
None yet.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
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#
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Jan 13, 2018 17:13
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 11, 2024 13:59
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- BioEnchanted
- Aug 9, 2011
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He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.
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Yes. Open the door, and just give the mummy his diary back. Maybe he'll be willing to chat? Wow, this character is actually kind of likable.
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Jan 13, 2018 17:55
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Jan 11, 2018 03:25
