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StrangersInTheNight posted:Truly, you are a poet, a master of language. This reasoning is solid, and not perhaps based on your own trash mind - that in your slang-addled, radiation-riddled 21st century brain, "dumb and bad" is enough for you not to think about or do a thing. nice meltdown
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Jan 12, 2018 20:19
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| # ? May 26, 2024 12:44 |
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Misusing gender pronouns is the only way to keep this country safe
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Jan 12, 2018 20:20
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Len posted:What about the blind deaf out there? A mix of wild gesticulations, meaningless guttural sounds, and farts?
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Jan 12, 2018 20:45
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I'd also like to point out that this story of trans people getting really pissed off at the first misgendering is, in fact, largely nonexistent. I'm a trans woman, who knows a significant portion of all the trans people in my local area, and in fact study gender for my degree. 99%+ of trans people will be understanding the first few times -- we get misgendering, since we, as trans people, tend to be around other trans folks a lot more often, and we also make mistakes when referring to each other. We are used to it, unfortunately -- the problem comes from people maliciously misgendering us on purpose or, worse yet, refusing to learn from their mistakes and blaming us for getting upset. (Or "just asking questions" about pronouns, see above.) Here are a few Good Tips: 1. Don't assume pronouns without asking. It feels really, really lovely when people assume I'm a man, it's like being kicked in the jaw every time. It's something that really gets annoying over time. Use neutral language ("that person," "you," or, y'know "they") if you're not talking to them, or if it's not a big socially important situation. (They're your cashier or waiter or w/e). 2. If you care about the person, ask their pronouns. It's usually good to start off with your pronouns first and you can integrate it with your name. For example, while introducing yourself you could say, for example: "My name T-man, and I use she and her pronouns." It isn't pressuring the other person, and if you make it into a habit you're not singling out people who "look trans." (Which also feels bad, but not nearly as much as assuming incorrectly.) If it feels weird or awkward, it's usually just a case of being unused to the idea -- I was really bad at this early in my transition, but now it feels weird not to do this. If you yourself are not trans, this is especially important, as it can change the way that people treat those of us who are. 3. When you gently caress up (you will gently caress up) act like an adult and move on. It's usually a smart idea to stop for a second (so they know you've noticed your mistake) say "sorry" in a short and efficient manner, and repeat what was said with their preferred pronouns. Often, people want to go into long elaborate self-flagellation for their mistakes, which is a) kinda just begging for attention and forgiveness and b) interrupts the flow of conversation and puts a hyperfocus on the person whose pronouns you just messed up. 4. Trans people have bad days, too. Sometimes we might snap at you when you gently caress up our pronouns. Non-trans people think pronouns are some minor etiquette, but when I say it feels like being kicked, I'm not exaggerating. Usually, we're not mad at you, in particular (unless it's obviously something that you're not working on, or you're acting maliciously) but at all the people throughout our lives that keep on being lovely even after we ask them to change. Remember, if you're struggling with this, other people are too, and having people constantly make the same mistake over and over again would try the patience of a goddamn saint. We have a lot more problems relating to our gender than non-trans people do, so keep in mind that this poo poo really matters to us, even if it may not to you. And yes, there are trans people who can be assholes, sometimes, 99% < 100%. Too bad. Trust me, there are more people who are lovely to us then there are to you with gender. Finally, don't expect trans people to explain this poo poo. I tell people about this stuff for a living, and I'm basically a walking encyclopedia at this point, but not every trans person is a goony gently caress like me. This is 101 level information, and if you search online there's a whole universe of more information that you, yes you, can learn about if interested. Just because someone is a minority doesn't give them the obligation to explain stuff over and over again, and you won't be the first one to ask. Read these, try and do the best you can, and make sure you work on getting better and that's all we ask of you. (also yes we do plan on purging all the straight cis people by putting chemicals in the water, hail gay satan)
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Jan 12, 2018 20:47
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Bombadilillo posted:Jesus that got dark. Is this really a great hill to die on, my dude(tte)? It's weird how often people will rush into this thread and other places on the forum to go "I'm all for being progressive, but let's not go too far..." and then make jokes about non-binary or asexual people or whatever other minority they figure are still game to be made fun of. EDIT: And by weird, I mean sad and predictable.
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Jan 12, 2018 20:50
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For the record, chuckles, I never said you are nor should be friendless; I said people who prefer the pronoun "they" shouldn't hang out with you, because you care more about hypothetical awkward sentences than you care about respecting them. Have fun tilting at windmills, though!
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Jan 12, 2018 20:53
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Bombadilillo posted:Jesus that got dark. You're corncobbing really, really hard at this point. I'm a D&D poster. I've seen people die on some moronic hills. I've died on some dumb-rear end hills. But I've never, in all my posting career, seen someone die on a hill this loving stupid.
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Jan 12, 2018 21:20
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ur a loving moron lmao
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Jan 12, 2018 21:25
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Id like to add that "dude" and "bro" are in fact gendered terms and no amount of trying to excuse it with poo poo like "i call everyone dude or bro, even my sister/wife/whomever" is going to change that. On the off chance that the person saying it genuinely doesn't consider "dude" or whatever as masculine terms, trans women like myself sure as gently caress do, so do the decent thing and knock it off. Yes, I've had men try to argue with me that "bro" has reached gender neutral status in slang.
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Jan 12, 2018 22:28
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T-man posted:I'd also like to point out that this story of trans people getting really pissed off at the first misgendering is, in fact, largely nonexistent. I'm a trans woman, who knows a significant portion of all the trans people in my local area, and in fact study gender for my degree. 99%+ of trans people will be understanding the first few times -- we get misgendering, since we, as trans people, tend to be around other trans folks a lot more often, and we also make mistakes when referring to each other. We are used to it, unfortunately -- the problem comes from people maliciously misgendering us on purpose or, worse yet, refusing to learn from their mistakes and blaming us for getting upset. (Or "just asking questions" about pronouns, see above.) It happened to my wife. It was a friend of our teen a 19 year old who was female when we knew her but had since chosen different pronouns out of principle and not gender identity. She got real Facebook hurt about it. My take away is I will call you whatever you want, but if you want that, you have to let us know, especially if you have an established relationship where you were identified differently. But that puts 100% of the pressure on you, that's not cool. But starting every meeting with a new person with, "what's your pronouns" doesn't seem realistic. Tricky. Everybody all quick to jump on me as an anti pronoun threadcrashing boogieman. I just don't think 'they/them' is adequate. You keep you hill die chat up. Your arguments of "It works unless is doesn't." And "You're a moron". Surprisingly unconvincing.
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Jan 12, 2018 22:29
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Bombadilillo posted:But starting every meeting with a new person with, "what's your pronouns" doesn't seem realistic. Why not?
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Jan 12, 2018 22:32
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https://twitter.com/Annakhait/status/951896061957885952
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Jan 12, 2018 22:33
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Six-Of-Hearts posted:Id like to add that "dude" and "bro" are in fact gendered terms and no amount of trying to excuse it with poo poo like "i call everyone dude or bro, even my sister/wife/whomever" is going to change that. On the off chance that the person saying it genuinely doesn't consider "dude" or whatever as masculine terms, trans women like myself sure as gently caress do, so do the decent thing and knock it off. This is a genuine question, not a troll or joke or anything: What about the term "guys" for a group of people? It's not something that I use particularly often, but I'll use something like "those guys" to refer to a group of people in conversation, regardless of gender. It's crossed my mind that it might be bad, but I've never really thought to ask. Man, I honestly thought this was sarcastic at first. Holy poo poo.
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Jan 12, 2018 22:39
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jivjov posted:Why not? Thats got me thinking. The honest immediate answer is to not upset people that get butthurt about pronouns existing. In other words protect myself from social awkwardness. There's more to it but I gotta think. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Jan 12, 2018 22:50
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SpacePig posted:This is a genuine question, not a troll or joke or anything: What about the term "guys" for a group of people? It's not something that I use particularly often, but I'll use something like "those guys" to refer to a group of people in conversation, regardless of gender. It's crossed my mind that it might be bad, but I've never really thought to ask. It doesn't anger me like "sir" does, but its still uncomfortable. It stands out sharply to people like me, because gendered language has been used as a weapon to make us feel inferior, magnifying even the smallest misuses in our ears. There's a decent list of alternatives, like: You all, ya'll, folks, people, coven, crowd, etc.
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Jan 12, 2018 22:56
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booooorrrriiiiiiinnngggg
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Jan 12, 2018 23:07
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hawowanlawow posted:booooorrrriiiiiiinnngggg Yeah someone other than bombadillo post some iosm please
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Jan 12, 2018 23:08
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It's incredibly difficult to not be an rear end in a top hat, guys. I can't find any good reason to not be an rear end in a top hat.
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Jan 12, 2018 23:08
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And a half-hour later it's gone. Screenshots, people!
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Jan 12, 2018 23:08
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Never take this thread for granite
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Jan 12, 2018 23:17
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Bombadilillo posted:I just don't think 'they/them' is adequate. ya this is why ur a moron
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Jan 12, 2018 23:23
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Son of Thunderbeast posted:And a half-hour later it's gone. Screenshots, people! No screenshot but it was a woman unironically thanking Trump for creating Martin Luther King Jr. day. Her response to apparently learning for the first time that MLK day isn't new and has in fact been around for decades  fake e: wait, did she delete and repost that or something? because  is still showing up for me but at https://twitter.com/Annakhait/status/951896132329844736 instead
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Jan 12, 2018 23:35
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Bombadilillo posted:Thats got me thinking. The honest immediate answer is to not upset people that get butthurt about pronouns existing. In other words protect myself from social awkwardness. There's more to it but I gotta think. Oh golly having an awkward conversation about pronouns with morons who don't want to inconvenience themselves; how horrible. When trans people talk about dumb cis people we're actually talking about you, forums poster McDipshit, in particular.
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Jan 12, 2018 23:36
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jivjov posted:Why not? Asking someone if they're trans* on the first meeting seems rude.
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Jan 12, 2018 23:48
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Byzantine posted:Asking someone if they're trans* on the first meeting seems rude. It's not like trans people are the only ones who have pronouns. Hell, not even the only ones who don't like having the wrong pronouns used but they just get all the flack for it.
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Jan 12, 2018 23:50
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Byzantine posted:Asking someone if they're trans* on the first meeting seems rude. Yeah, that's absolutely rude. You shouldn't do that. Why would you ever think of doing that?
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Jan 12, 2018 23:54
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Why do you guys keep arguing with the guy who's deliberately ignoring the obvious solutions and calling people "butthurt"?
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Jan 12, 2018 23:59
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Byzantine posted:Asking someone if they're trans* on the first meeting seems rude. You shouldn't do that, but you can provide your own pronouns and see if the person you are talking to does have a preference. See #2 on my second to last post.
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Jan 13, 2018 00:04
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HOW?! 
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Jan 13, 2018 00:05
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T-man posted:Oh golly having an awkward conversation about pronouns with morons who don't want to inconvenience themselves; how horrible. Wow way to marginalize the Irish you rear end in a top hat
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Jan 13, 2018 00:13
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hawowanlawow posted:booooorrrriiiiiiinnngggg
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Jan 13, 2018 00:14
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Metrofreak posted:(and as I believe I've been told, there's no gender on licenses in the rest of the country anyways, so lol) I had to just check mine (Victorian) because I was pretty sure, but yeah, confirmed, no information on there apart from name, date of birth, address, photo and conditions under which you can drive (glasses, automatic-only, etc).
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Jan 13, 2018 00:14
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Puppy Time posted:HOW?! Some states didn't celebrate MLKJ day until like, 2000. I'll let you guess which ones. Hint: Those states celebrated Robert E Lee day on the same day
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Jan 13, 2018 01:13
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Memento posted:I had to just check mine (Victorian) because I was pretty sure, but yeah, confirmed, no information on there apart from name, date of birth, address, photo and conditions under which you can drive (glasses, automatic-only, etc). There hasn't been gender on a Queensland license since 2016 either. It's a bullshit fearmonger article blaming trans individuals for something that already happened.
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Jan 13, 2018 01:16
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Uhm I've never had a trans person ask me my preferred pronouns before, they just assume I'm a guy because I look and sound like one, but every time I call a trans person by the gender they most resemble, I'm automatically the bad guy. Edit: literally never met a trans person
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Jan 13, 2018 01:20
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Garrand posted:No screenshot but it was a woman unironically thanking Trump for creating Martin Luther King Jr. day. So, is this person not American or newly immigrated or something? Or did her family AND school(assuming not homeschooled) never tell her that it was MLK(Jr.) Day? Honest mistake might be fair for a child who's just experiencing events for the first time, but this is just confusing. Assuming this wasn't a troll post, of course.
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Jan 13, 2018 01:23
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UZR IS BULLSHIT posted:Some states didn't celebrate MLKJ day until like, 2000. I'll let you guess which ones. 2000 was 17 years ago though how are you gonna miss out on that for SEVENTEEN YEARS?
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Jan 13, 2018 01:27
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You're really questioning how a Trumpet is ignorant of extremely basic facts?
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Jan 13, 2018 01:31
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Postal Parcel posted:So, is this person not American or newly immigrated or something?  Take a guess More definitively 
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Jan 13, 2018 01:32
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| # ? May 26, 2024 12:44 |
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lol she’s a former Survivor contestant
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Jan 13, 2018 01:34
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