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Sagebrush posted:that sounds like a solvable problem Gotta shower which kinda forces me to look.
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Jan 14, 2018 21:51
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date went well and i'm pretty confident that we will have a second soon
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Jan 15, 2018 03:52
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i really really like this guy
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Jan 15, 2018 04:01
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Improbable Lobster posted:i really really like this guy Yay!
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Jan 15, 2018 04:40
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Hi folks, I'm dealing with some poo poo, and I just left the american south where there were no resources. How do you know if you have dysphoria or not? I'm pretty sure i'm bi, but i'm not sure if porn has wrecked my brain, or if i just like Incase's smut way too much, or if I've just got a CD thing, or if I'm actually desiring brand new body parts and neurochemicals. This hasn't been an issue until recently because i just left a very traumatic household not a month ago. So giving myself sometime to let the dust settle is super important! But talking to folks who have processed this as well is kind of nice.
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Jan 16, 2018 00:48
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Krakox posted:Hi folks, i didn't recognize dysphoria as dysphoria until i had come out to myself as trans, because my hatred of my own image was 'because im fat and ugly' or w/e it wasn't until after i started taking steps to transition that i realized how much body and facial hair made me miserable, before that i would like keep a long beard just b/c it was easier to not touch it or think about it so basically i don't think there IS an easy way to tell, especially because whether you have dysphoria or not and if so what you have dysphoria about is so different between people i don't have any genital dysphoria, but for lots of people that is the biggest thing
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Jan 16, 2018 00:54
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I didnt think I did, but looking back on it wow does it ever stand out. -hate pretty much every social aspect of being male -looking at myself in the mirror was pretty terrible -the idea of growing old as a guy uggggh -the emotional range of being a guy (rarrgh) -the horniness So once I came out to myself that I am trans rather than trying to suppress it for fear of not passing, things were just a lot better in my head.
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Jan 16, 2018 01:01
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Krakox posted:How do you know if you have dysphoria or not? generally if you are asking this you have it
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Jan 16, 2018 01:02
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Reminder to talk with a mental health professional and don't make any life changing decisions because the internet told you to.
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Jan 16, 2018 01:16
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fishmech posted:generally if you are asking this you have it Yeah cis boys as a general rule do not actually have to seriously consider this question Realizing after coming out that actually turns out not all men would go "well yeah of course I'd be a woman if I could, being a man sucks" was powerful
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Jan 16, 2018 01:16
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cis autodrag posted:Reminder to talk with a mental health professional and don't make any life changing decisions because the internet told you to. with the full understanding that mental health professionals can bigoted monsters too, per my experiences
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Jan 16, 2018 01:18
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Krakox posted:Hi folks, definitely get a good therapist as soon as you can, they help a ton and it sounds like you have several different layers you need to unpack here (traumatic household  ) before you can even really answer the whole "am i trans" question
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Jan 16, 2018 01:27
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good therapy is absolutely worthwhile and everyone should be able to get therapy if they need or want it
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Jan 16, 2018 01:35
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UberJew posted:with the full understanding that mental health professionals can bigoted monsters too, per my experiences this is definitely true, but please don't let that scare you away from treatment! in my experience none of the mental health professionals my wife and i have ever had were, though i've been lucky and careful admittedly. i mentioned this earlier but when looking for a psychologist, try to find the following if you can: - someone with a proper degree in psychology - at least a Masters, and if at all possible a PhD - mentions gender issues or LGBT on their site, or specifically advertises trans services or something similar - not a psychiatrist psychiatrists are great if you need to be prescribed stuff but imo they're not very good for just talking to and working through your poo poo with. every time i've visited them it's generally been in the context of "my psychologist says i should probably be on x drug, can you help me with that". i wouldn't recommend going to them first unless you can't get anything else definitely check credentials, in the US at least some terms are regulated and others aren't - for example, anyone can call themselves a "therapist" or a "counselor" in a lot of states, but generally "psychologists" must be licensed and have a degree.
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Jan 16, 2018 01:39
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A lot of clinics will have students on internships handling therapy, which has worked out very well for me since a student at a specifically lgbtq clinic was far better than anyone else I've seen But yeah absolutely seek therapy, I could not have gotten anywhere without mental health help, just don't prioritize their opinions over your sense of self
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Jan 16, 2018 01:48
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yeah, i had this too. for the longest time i 'justified' not being trans to myself by saying i was okay with what's between my legs but it turns out things are more complicated than that. i was so hard in denial that I legally changed my name to a historically male but currently considered female name two years before I finally admitted I was trans i think the most important thing to develop is a commitment to figuring things out instead of just shoving all those confusing feelings in the attic and hoping they never spill out, and you already have that since you're asking about it. move at your own pace, but keep going forward, whatever direction that happens to be for you. don't give up. e: also yes therapy is a major help
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Jan 16, 2018 01:49
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y'all are really nice! I'm going to therapy (did you know that if you feel sad it's not always your fault? Interpersonal events can affect you!) and I talked with some family friends and kind of remembered how to process things healthily and normally. I definitely have a bunch of different levels to process and I"m going to sort through them at my leisure. No nee to rush stuff!
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Jan 16, 2018 02:59
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When looking for a therapist, remember that it's normal and OK to try several before picking one. Having a good connection with your therapist is critical.
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Jan 16, 2018 03:15
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i'm already seeing one because everytime I tried to have sex with someone I started having panic attacks! I attribute that to living in a house full of violent drug abusers and living in a new city and having a new job and Seasonal Depression. I'm absolutely not gonna rush anything, because I remembered how much of a can-do go getter I am, but heck, thought it couldn't hurt to check with people online! I like my therapist a lot and I trust her a bunch. She doesn't laugh at everything I say which is good because I'm here to get fixed, I'm not pagalicci.
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Jan 16, 2018 03:30
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hey just noticed this threa...fishmech posted:even with pretty lovely mods all over the forums for the past nearly 18 years 
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Jan 16, 2018 03:33
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Star War Sex Parrot posted:hey just noticed this threa... Welcome, we didn't have any parrotsexuals in the thread up until now!
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Jan 16, 2018 03:48
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Star War Sex Parrot posted:hey just noticed this threa... not you, gosh
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Jan 16, 2018 05:20
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fishmech posted:generally if you are asking this you have it plenty of people feel dysphoric about their bodies. like every bodybuilder i've ever known ever.
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Jan 16, 2018 20:16
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Bodybuilding should be in the DSM-5 alongside anorexia nervosa etc. as one of the body dysphoric disorders, yes
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Jan 16, 2018 20:22
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got another date tomorrow. this time at the aquarium
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Jan 16, 2018 20:25
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Sagebrush posted:Bodybuilding should be in the DSM-5 alongside anorexia nervosa etc. as one of the body dysphoric disorders, yes it hurts me to see, because it doesn't seem to come from a place of joy and glory in the body, but instead a deep sadness and worthlessness. otoh, people should be able to mod their body however they want~
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Jan 16, 2018 20:29
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Improbable Lobster posted:got another date tomorrow. this time at the aquarium https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddBt5p-Uqew
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Jan 16, 2018 20:35
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fishmech posted:generally if you are asking this you have it well this is making me wonder a lot of things I wasn't expecting to wonder.
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Jan 16, 2018 20:39
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please do not dox me and my turtle loving family
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Jan 16, 2018 20:41
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ultravoices posted:it hurts me to see, because it doesn't seem to come from a place of joy and glory in the body, but instead a deep sadness and worthlessness. i remember having this discussion with a bodybuilder guy i was acquaintances with and he just could not even conceptualize how i could not really want to constantly perfect my body and make it the absolute most optimally powerful thing it could be, it was a real interesting chat
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Jan 16, 2018 20:43
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our local aquarium has this geodesic dome section that's made up to be a natural habitat for birds and other creatures that live in wetlands, and you can just walk through and check out all the cool birds and the birds aren't caged up or anything and are used to people so they'll just sit there preening or squawking or honking and you can take pictures next to them 
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Jan 16, 2018 20:46
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ate all the Oreos posted:i remember having this discussion with a bodybuilder guy i was acquaintances with and he just could not even conceptualize how i could not really want to constantly perfect my body and make it the absolute most optimally powerful thing it could be, it was a real interesting chat it's mostly answerable with terror management theory, but most things in life are.
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Jan 16, 2018 20:49
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ate all the Oreos posted:our local aquarium has this geodesic dome section that's made up to be a natural habitat for birds and other creatures that live in wetlands, and you can just walk through and check out all the cool birds and the birds aren't caged up or anything and are used to people so they'll just sit there preening or squawking or honking and you can take pictures next to them this is a lot of fun to go into: https://www.stlzoo.org/visit/thingstoseeanddo/historichill/1904flightcage/
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Jan 16, 2018 20:51
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ate all the Oreos posted:our local aquarium has this geodesic dome section that's made up to be a natural habitat for birds and other creatures that live in wetlands, and you can just walk through and check out all the cool birds and the birds aren't caged up or anything and are used to people so they'll just sit there preening or squawking or honking and you can take pictures next to them the butterfly conservatory in niagara falls has the same thing, but for butterflies i think they also have a bird section but that might be one of the other conservatories/zoos in niagara
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Jan 16, 2018 20:54
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Synthbuttrange posted:I didnt think I did, but looking back on it wow does it ever stand out.
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Jan 16, 2018 20:57
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Kazinsal posted:well this is making me wonder a lot of things I wasn't expecting to wonder. otoh i doubt you could find a single man alive who hasn't occasionally wondered what it would be like to have bobs and vagene (but yeah that is totally different from the sort of dysphoria being described above. the "well obviously why wouldn't you want to be a woman if you had the choice" thing, as a straight man that one is totally foreign) e: straight isn't the right word here. Cishet? Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Jan 16, 2018 |
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Jan 16, 2018 21:00
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Sagebrush posted:Bodybuilding should be in the DSM-5 alongside anorexia nervosa etc. as one of the body dysphoric disorders, yes  you're absolutely right
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Jan 16, 2018 21:14
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Sagebrush posted:otoh i doubt you could find a single man alive who hasn't occasionally wondered what it would be like to have bobs and vagene well, even just cisgender would suffice
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Jan 16, 2018 21:19
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does gender dysphoria fall on a scale or is there a very clear line of demarcation between cis and trans? ive said before i'm 99 point whatever percent sure i'm cisgendered and i don't want to offend anyone by pondering a probable nonconcern. that said, i asked myself that hypothetical "why wouldn't you want to present as a woman instead of as a man" question and my only immediate answer is social rather than physical (that being that a software dev or other computer toucher is very very male dominated and sucks for women in a lot of ways before trans vs cis even enters the equation). as far as physicality or emotion goes, i can only respond to the question with sheer ambivalence (it's probably badly conflated by my morbid obesity, mind you)
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Jan 16, 2018 21:29
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Ciaphas posted:does gender dysphoria fall on a scale or is there a very clear line of demarcation between cis and trans? like pretty much everything in psychology it's a gradient, yeah
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Jan 16, 2018 21:32
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