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Memento posted:Stifling a sneeze a 'dangerous manoeuvre', doctors warn after man's injury I've always done the press your finger against your upper lip thing if I ever feel in inappropriate sneeze coming, usually works to dissipate the feeling and I haven't gotten cancer from it yet: 
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Jan 16, 2018 02:54
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More from Canada's Worst Driver. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2lu29MsYBlc Dean is a Zimbabwean immigrant who doesn't even recognize stop signs.
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Jan 16, 2018 03:04
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Jan 16, 2018 03:13
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Ornamental Dingbat posted:I've always done the press your finger against your upper lip thing if I ever feel in inappropriate sneeze coming, usually works to dissipate the feeling and I haven't gotten cancer from it yet: Just put your tongue on the roof of your mouth
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Jan 16, 2018 03:31
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or pinch the bridge of your noze
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Jan 16, 2018 03:33
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Just tighten your scarfvise, if you feel a sneeze coming on.
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Jan 16, 2018 03:34
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Just sneeze, no one cares.
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Jan 16, 2018 03:35
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fart loudly, this will distract from a rude sneeze
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Jan 16, 2018 03:37
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poo poo yourself.
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Jan 16, 2018 03:43
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If I remember this one right, this guy kept opening his (college-age) daughter's mail, so she sent herself the glitter bomb knowing he'd open it. Quality.
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Jan 16, 2018 04:04
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What if the fish think the glitter is food? 
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Jan 16, 2018 04:06
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Cage posted:What if the fish think the glitter is food? They'll just have to scale back their diet a bit.
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Jan 16, 2018 04:11
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If you have to poo poo during a meeting or something, pretend you are about to sneeze, then hold it in as if it was the biggest sneeze ever. You can then have a good excuse to go to the bathroom to change your pants and get all the poo poo off you. Oh yeah make sure your spare pants are still hidden under sink first.
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Jan 16, 2018 04:17
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Solice Kirsk posted:They'll just have to scale back their diet a bit. Booo this man
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Jan 16, 2018 04:32
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Jan 16, 2018 04:39
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I can't see how anyone can be in a position where they would poo poo their self at work. I used to work at a casino about 40 miles from my house and one day I slept in late and ended up getting dressed and heading to work right after waking up. About 5 miles into my drive my body decided it was time to poo poo as soon as possible. I gripped the passenger headrest like it was the last life jacket on the Titanic with my right hand and steered with my left. I managed to hold all this pressure until I got to work. I scanned my badge and walked in through the back offices and almost ran into the head of my department. He said something about needing to talk and I just said, "can't, please wait" while I pushed past him. I hit the bathroom just in time and had just began my dark mission when he comes into the bathroom to ask if I'm ok. The smell (like two dead fish loving in a crematorium) must have hit him before I could reply because I heard him make a hasty retreat. He later said that from the look on my face when I passed he figured I was having some kind of emotional problem. Terrible day because my boss heard me loudly making GBS threads but it would have been worse if I stopped to talk to him and poo poo my pants.
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Jan 16, 2018 05:37
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https://giant.gfycat.com/DetailedMaleAidi.webm
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Jan 16, 2018 05:39
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non-fatal schadens would be nice
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Jan 16, 2018 05:52
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bob dobbs is dead posted:non-fatal schadens would be nice that's him walking past at the end. he somehow inexplicably survived that.
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Jan 16, 2018 05:54
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bob dobbs is dead posted:non-fatal schadens would be nice That's his soul wandering around afterwards That gif is literally proof of an afterlife but it only applies to scooter accidents.
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Jan 16, 2018 05:55
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bob dobbs is dead posted:non-fatal schadens would be nice https://i.imgur.com/arxmBLr.gifv
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Jan 16, 2018 06:02
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deserves it for putting kechup on hashbrowns
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Jan 16, 2018 06:05
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I can get taking pictures of food that you made yourself, but I never got the whole "take pictures of food in a restaurant" thing. So anyone who disrupts it is good in my book.
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Jan 16, 2018 06:51
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It's useful for Yelp
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Jan 16, 2018 06:58
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If yelp was half as loving good as weedmaps id gently caress with it
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Jan 16, 2018 07:03
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Mu Zeta posted:It's useful for Yelp Yelp can go gently caress off.
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Jan 16, 2018 07:15
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All these solutions to stop sneezing, and nobody knows to just look up.
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Jan 16, 2018 07:18
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Double Punctuation posted:All these solutions to stop sneezing, and nobody knows to just look up. This thread is full of dogs
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Jan 16, 2018 07:27
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iospace posted:Yelp can go gently caress off. 
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Jan 16, 2018 08:13
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Cage posted:What if the fish think the glitter is food?
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Jan 16, 2018 08:22
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yootoZMCCOM
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Jan 16, 2018 08:26
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Cage posted:What if the fish think the glitter is food? Sparkly fish poop!  Also available for humans. You can get the expensive gold leaf version or the cheapass regular glitter version 
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Jan 16, 2018 08:33
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https://i.imgur.com/Qu3gOr4.gifv
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Jan 16, 2018 08:54
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Yelp needs a way to separate reviews based on quality of food and people who got side eyed by the waitress so they get one star.
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Jan 16, 2018 09:06
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Oh don't use Yelp for the reviews. Just look at the pretty or ugly pictures and the misc useful info like hours, address, dress code.
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Jan 16, 2018 09:16
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Mu Zeta posted:Oh don't use Yelp for the reviews. Just look at the pretty or ugly pictures and the misc useful info like hours, address, dress code. Reviews are sometimes useful if you're in a place you've never been before.
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Jan 16, 2018 09:20
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Here in Italy restaurants get negative reviews all the time from tourists who think it's bad service if the waiter doesn't come up to your table every five minutes asking if you need refill and/or isn't constantly smiling Always best to check the overall rating and then if you have doubts read a few negative reviews to see if they're bullshit or not
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Jan 16, 2018 09:40
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iospace posted:I can get taking pictures of food that you made yourself, but I never got the whole "take pictures of food in a restaurant" thing. Comedian buddy of mine started taking pictures of his finished plate, dirty cutlery thrown in, but with the same kind of tags people use for their 'food porn', which I think is really funny because it highlights how loving pointless 99 percent of social media 'content' is. [/grandpa]
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Jan 16, 2018 10:00
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Double Punctuation posted:All these solutions to stop sneezing, and nobody knows to just look up. When I look up, the sun makes me sneeze. :/
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Jan 16, 2018 10:03
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Ak Gara posted:When I look up, the sun makes me sneeze. :/ Yeah, this is a thing for a lot of people: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photic_sneeze_reflex
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Jan 16, 2018 10:08
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