Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Bajaj posted:

Then we met face to face. From a distance I was like "Oh, no, no way. Noooo way." I feel bad saying anything bad about her because she wasn't a bad person or had anything wrong, it was just that she was nothing like the photos and what she was like was something I just couldn't handle getting it up to if I was to be her FWB. Just a big "no way." I'd be over-cooked spaghetti at every moment around her.

So, what was it? Short, fat, bald? Huge wart the size of a grapefruit on her eyebrow?

# ? Jan 17, 2018 03:06

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 5, 2024 08:55

jizzy sillage: Aug 13, 2006

VPN detected. Secret China option unlocked: All of the above.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 03:42

CIGNX: May 7, 2006; You can trust me

Baronjutter posted:

So China has these useless lazy keystone cops as the typical beat cop, and they send in troops from another province when they need to do some civilian slaughter, but what is the Chinese equivalent of the FBI like? Who investigates serious big crimes?

There is no true equivalent to the FBI, but instead the duties are split between the Ministry of State Security and Ministry of Public Security. MSS deals with all intelligence matters both domestic and abroad, so it'd be the equivalent of the CIA and FBI counterintelligence/counterterrorism capabilities in one department. MPS handles all law enforcement matters in the nation, so imagine if the local police, county sheriff, state police, and the FBI were part of the same organization but operating at different levels in the hierarchy.

But this is all in theory, since the different ministries are often politically loyal to the minister as opposed to the head of government. Even the local branches of a ministry can have different loyalties than the national office. So high profile crimes can be problematic to investigate if the suspect has political influence on the relevant law enforcement organization. In Xi Jinping's case, it looks like he built up the once-obscure Central Commission for Discipline Inspection to become an investigative body that he could trust. Nominally, they should be dealing with low-level internal party matters, but more recently they've been used in high-profile investigations for corruption to take down Xi's rivals. Most famously, they made Zhou Yongkang disappear for a year, arrested members of his family and inner circle, and then sentenced him to life in prison.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 04:17

Bajaj: Sep 13, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

BRB, gonna get some skates so I can pretend I do cone slalom.

https://i.imgur.com/rtHnrdX.gifv

Gorilla Salad posted:

So, what was it? Short, fat, bald? Huge wart the size of a grapefruit on her eyebrow?

Bob's Burgers character neck. Now I know why she was holding the selfie cam waaaaay up.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 04:38

Serephina: Nov 8, 2005; 恐竜戦隊
ジュウレンジャー

I think she misses one of the orange ones, like the 2-3rd one in?

But nonetheless dang cool

# ? Jan 17, 2018 04:41

WarpedNaba: Feb 8, 2012; Being social makes me swell!

Outrail posted:

I'm the lackluster jog hoping against hope the perp gets away.

Colon and Nobbs are truly borderless.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 05:12

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

https://twitter.com/KenDilanianNBC/status/953408325613432833?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

# ? Jan 17, 2018 05:36

angel opportunity: Sep 7, 2004; Total Eclipse of the Heart

you guys should all follow paul midler on twitter and like his tweets. he tries kind of hard but has almost no followers at all

https://twitter.com/paulmidler/status/953485274121519104

# ? Jan 17, 2018 05:43

Pham Nuwen: Oct 30, 2010

WarpedNaba posted:

Colon and Nobbs are truly borderless.

Lose Me Own Face Di Ba La

# ? Jan 17, 2018 06:40

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

lol

https://twitter.com/paulmidler/status/950243006367514624

# ? Jan 17, 2018 06:41

Bajaj: Sep 13, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

lol

https://twitter.com/paulmidler/status/950243006367514624

Hahahaha

# ? Jan 17, 2018 07:32

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

Pham Nuwen posted:

Lose Me Own Face Di Ba La

The ivory from the tusks of the elephants holding up the disc will give you a strong sword

# ? Jan 17, 2018 08:39

Coolguye: Jul 6, 2011; Required by his programming!

big time bisexual posted:

https://my.mixtape.moe/gajraq.mp4

honestly, that ended happier than i thought it was going to. i thought for sure the smaller forklift was going down too.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 09:23

GoutPatrol: Oct 17, 2009; *Stupid Babby*

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

lol

https://twitter.com/paulmidler/status/950243006367514624

If I used twitter i would follow him

# ? Jan 17, 2018 09:30

Imperialist Dog: Oct 21, 2008; "I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\

big time bisexual posted:

https://my.mixtape.moe/gajraq.mp4

It's gonna tip.

It's gonna tip.

Oh, if this actually works ...

Carefully, slowly now, good job guys

Oh

Yep

Yeah, there it goes

# ? Jan 17, 2018 09:31

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

It went almost but not quite as expected.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 10:20

Imperialist Dog: Oct 21, 2008; "I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\

This is awesome:

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-42706522

quote:

A Chinese college has reportedly raised eyebrows after it including an unusual question on its final exams - asking students whether they could identify their teacher.

According to China Youth Daily, students at the Sichuan Vocational College of Culture and Communication were handed papers with photos of seven people during their exams, and asked to select their teacher and write their name underneath. Those who were able to identify their teacher did not get any extra marks, but students were severely penalised if they answered incorrectly, having 41 points deducted from their final score. China Daily says that the identity test accounted for 30% of their overall grade. Hu Teng, a teacher at the institute, told Beijing broadcaster BTime that it was the first time such a question had been introduced in a class. "The original intention of this was to assess students' general attitude towards study," he said.

"We wanted to see whether students have worked hard in class� and whether they have been paying attention to details. "If they can't even remember their teacher's name, then they clearly have no interest in the curriculum."

The test has attracted considerable attention on Chinese social media.Some on the Sina Weibo microblog said that they thought the test was "tasteless" and admitted that they did not know or were unable to write the characters that made up their teacher's name. However, others applauded the college's decision. One said: "Remembering a person's name is basic respect!"

Another added: "If students are not in class, of course they will not know their teachers' names, so it's a good question to ask!"

This is heartbreaking:

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-42701802

quote:

A video, posted on the Pear Video website, shows the young boy - nicknamed "Little Li" by social media users - delivering parcels in the eastern Chinese city of Qingdao. It has been viewed 18 million times.

Pear Video reports Little Li was orphaned after his father passed away and his mother remarried and lost contact with him. The seven-year-old has been living with his father's friend since the age of three. Little Li's guardian works as a courier and began bringing the boy on his rounds after moving him from a rural area of Shandong province. The boy now carries out deliveries alone.

The story has been one of the most discussed trends on China's Twitter-like social media platform Sina Weibo. The reaction to the video from those online has been overwhelmingly sympathetic with many users concerned for the wellbeing of the boy and wishing Little Li a "better life". One user expressed their sadness at the effect the break-up of the seven-year-old's family had had: "Family problems always affect the children the most."

Chinese media reports Little Li was living with his guardian at the STO Express delivery depot. While many have conveyed their sadness at Little Li's situation, a wider debate has begun about the issue of child poverty in China. Some users decried Little Li's situation as a "societal tragedy" and pointed to flaws in the country's social security system. Others commented on the Chinese government's policy to eradicate poverty by 2020, calling it "a distant and indefinite future". Many raised questions about the acceptability of child labour in Chinese cities and regretted some children are not able to enjoy a happy and carefree childhood.

Some Weibo users took to the platform to urge the local authorities to alleviate Little Li's situation. One user commented: "What an awesome little guy, I hope the civil affairs department can help crowdfund to give him a better life." Another wrote: "The relevant departments should help this little boy and prosecute his mother."

As a result of the attention Little Li's story has received from social media users and media outlets, local authorities have confirmed they are looking into the case, the state-run news website China Daily has reported.

now that he's famous he got taken to kfc haha

http://img2.chinadaily.com.cn/images/201801/16/5a5d51dca3102c3949d022a8.jpeg

# ? Jan 17, 2018 10:52

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Forklift Driver Klaus: China Edition

# ? Jan 17, 2018 11:00

Imperialist Dog: Oct 21, 2008; "I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\

https://twitter.com/Vanessa_Zhang18/status/953300635881037824

# ? Jan 17, 2018 11:45

Lazer Monkey: Jan 15, 2005

big time bisexual posted:

https://my.mixtape.moe/gajraq.mp4

Oldie but a goldie, like what other result were they expecting?

# ? Jan 17, 2018 11:48

Bajaj: Sep 13, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

Imperialist Dog posted:

This is awesome:

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-42706522

I had these kinds of questions as extra credit in college and university, usually in first and second year classes. It was usually "What is name?" and I would sit there for a while in a mild panic because I always wanted my teachers to like me and would feel extra dumb if I couldn't get the question correct.

Imperialist Dog posted:

https://twitter.com/Vanessa_Zhang18/status/953300635881037824

What's up with the old writing above the characters? Does that mean the CCP has been around for... 5000 years?

# ? Jan 17, 2018 12:11

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

I've been at my company four years and they still don't know what my name is, lol.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 12:21

Heer98: Apr 10, 2009

That same persons twitter has a link to another story about a Chinese American journalists wife being held incommunicado in china as retaliation for his work, and right above that is a retweet of Kevin Rudd shamefully pandering with a post showing him fastidiously "studying" the great chairman Xi's speech from last year. What a horror show.

https://mobile.twitter.com/underbreath/status/952815272619945984

# ? Jan 17, 2018 12:22

CIGNX: May 7, 2006; You can trust me

Aside from Kevin Rudd and Sam Dastyari, are there a lot of Australian politicians that are stooges for the CCP? What their thinking behind toeing the line of the Chinese government? Are these just two outliers and no one else cares?

# ? Jan 17, 2018 12:56

Atlas Hugged: Mar 12, 2007; Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

My student came up to me after class today and said, "Do you think humans make good ingredients?"

I replied, "I mean, depends on how good a chef they are, I guess?"

He clarified, "No, I mean, eating people. I get hungry in class a lot and I look at my classmates and think, 'Yeah, I could eat a person.'"

So, maybe it'd be better if they didn't know who I was.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 13:14

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

Bajaj posted:

What's up with the old writing above the characters? Does that mean the CCP has been around for... 5000 years?

It looks like Yi script, but I'm not a linguist so I cannot comment.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 13:33

coolusername: Aug 23, 2011; cooltitletext

Heading in from Shanghai airport, the company driver is alternating between typing on wechat on one phone and chatting on a separate one, no hands on the wheel and swerving gently.

Lol this is great I'm going to get hit by a car in 3 days.

Eta: driver did a uturn on a busy two way road while no joke playing the chinese national abthrm3, tried to run up a private road and got chased by security and that's when i stopped paying attention to the traffic. What's chinese for "please, I still have so much to live for, don't take on that truck"?

coolusername fucked around with this message at 14:58 on Jan 17, 2018

# ? Jan 17, 2018 13:38

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

quote:

2020: a distant and indefinite future.

What's 2 loving years when you've been around for 5,000?

# ? Jan 17, 2018 15:30

ladron: Sep 15, 2007; eso es lo que es

coolusername posted:

What's chinese for "please, I still have so much to live for, don't take on that truck"?

台湾第一

# ? Jan 17, 2018 16:35

a7m2: Jul 9, 2012

angel opportunity posted:

you guys should all follow paul midler on twitter and like his tweets. he tries kind of hard but has almost no followers at all

https://twitter.com/paulmidler/status/953485274121519104

he got so bitter god drat

# ? Jan 17, 2018 17:01

underage at the vape shop: May 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

CIGNX posted:

Aside from Kevin Rudd and Sam Dastyari, are there a lot of Australian politicians that are stooges for the CCP? What their thinking behind toeing the line of the Chinese government? Are these just two outliers and no one else cares?

Probably most of them, we love chinese money and immigrants

# ? Jan 17, 2018 17:31

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

underage at the vape shop posted:

Probably most of them, we love chinese money and immigrants

Not quite. Australians are middle class NIMBY fucks. They hate the thought of immigrants in their cul-de-sac, but they love the theoretical economic benefits of immigration.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 17:41

tote up a bags: Jun 8, 2006; die stoats die

hello china thread, i am from the japan thread and i discovered your thread and read a lot of it, and it was good i enjoyed myself a lot.

a lot of you guys discussed what dating is like and that was super interesting, dating is always a good way to understand and see some of the unique quirks of countries.
i was wondering what the hot takes were on gay relationships in china these days? also i am bisexual but im wildly guessing that doesn't even exist?

i guess what i am asking is, is it possible to kiss another man without losing face?

# ? Jan 17, 2018 18:00

Blue Star Error: Jun 11, 2001; For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)

Initiating a kiss with another man is a big loss of face but whichever man stops first loses even more face

# ? Jan 17, 2018 18:19

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

If you think about it, you actually gain face when kissing.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 18:26

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

If you think about it, you actually gain face when kissing.

This may be a sign you�re using your teeth too much.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 18:30

tote up a bags: Jun 8, 2006; die stoats die

Blue Star Error posted:

Initiating a kiss with another man is a big loss of face but whichever man stops first loses even more face

ive never been to china but having read this thread, this makes complete sense and i am enlightened. i will share this learning with the japanese barbarians, although they will fail to understand the deeper nuance, as non-chinese are wont to do

# ? Jan 17, 2018 18:41

Bajaj: Sep 13, 2017; by FactsAreUseless

tote up a bags posted:

hello china thread, i am from the japan thread and i discovered your thread and read a lot of it, and it was good i enjoyed myself a lot.

a lot of you guys discussed what dating is like and that was super interesting, dating is always a good way to understand and see some of the unique quirks of countries.
i was wondering what the hot takes were on gay relationships in china these days? also i am bisexual but im wildly guessing that doesn't even exist?

i guess what i am asking is, is it possible to kiss another man without losing face?

Heaps of gays in China, though you won't often see them "out" in public. Many gays do end up getting married to women (and Chaoshan Girl knows some of them, including a lesbian that's still a virgin because regular straight Chinese don't know what lube is and she obviously isn't attracted to her husband). You can use Tantan and swipe right on all dudes and you'll absolutely get matches. If you leave Wechat's People Nearby open long enough you'll also get a guy or two trying to friend you under the guise of "chat" or "practice English," which then they will ask if you want a free blow job at their place. I've seen some trans girls outside a few times.

I don't talk to much Chinese dudes, but most of the women I have known usually seem to have some fantasy about kissing girls or loving some female classmate they were friends with, so it's my conjecture that there's possibly some percentage of guys that feel the same way about their male friends secretly too.

Also, gay clubs that don't advertise themselves as gay clubs but are definitely gay clubs, etc.

# ? Jan 17, 2018 18:43

a7m2: Jul 9, 2012

tote up a bags posted:

hello china thread, i am from the japan thread and i discovered your thread and read a lot of it, and it was good i enjoyed myself a lot.

a lot of you guys discussed what dating is like and that was super interesting, dating is always a good way to understand and see some of the unique quirks of countries.
i was wondering what the hot takes were on gay relationships in china these days? also i am bisexual but im wildly guessing that doesn't even exist?

i guess what i am asking is, is it possible to kiss another man without losing face?

my gay buddy gets lots of chinese dick but i don't think they do the public affection stuff much

# ? Jan 17, 2018 18:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 5, 2024 08:55

a7m2: Jul 9, 2012

Bajaj posted:

regular straight Chinese don't know what lube is

oh yeah! apparently a fair number of gay chinese dudes don't know about lube either! even some guys didn't know you could get an std from anal

actually thinking about it straight girls don't know poo poo about sex either. the state of sex education is terrible here

# ? Jan 17, 2018 18:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

«‹›933 »