Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

I think it�s possible to be accurate (in that you need willpower to drive some actions) while also be completely unhelpful.

That one�s a free sample but the rest of these hot takes are .50� a pop.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 01:16

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# ? May 13, 2024 04:00

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

Just get unmotivated until you just kinda ragdoll through life

# ? Jan 24, 2018 02:02

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

You could always just join a world war to end your depression like the rest of US did back in the day.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 02:11

Audax: Dec 1, 2005; "LOL U GOT OWNED"

Have you guys heard about this new thing called The Secret? if you will it, it will come.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 02:15

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

I�ve been depressed. In this day and age, who hasn�t. But even at my lowest suicide has never seemed like less work than taking a shower.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 08:00

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Solice Kirsk posted:

You could always just join a world war to end your depression like the rest of US did back in the day.

it's coming

make your time

# ? Jan 24, 2018 08:38

whiter than a Wilco show: Mar 30, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Lot of depression enabling dumbos itt

# ? Jan 24, 2018 08:50

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Applesnots posted:

Tell me more about this please.

I aint said poo poo

i aint done poo poo

# ? Jan 24, 2018 10:49

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Solice Kirsk posted:

You could always just join a world war to end your depression like the rest of US did back in the day.

In a similar vein, to end the thread's depression here's an assassin fesh

quote:

My dad killed people for money for at least 5-10 years starting in the late 80s.

I was born in �82 and my dad worked at a plant producing equipment for miners. He was in ridiculous shape from a lifetime of hard work and boxing, and he was 6 foot 7 at the time. Basically a monster of a man, but he was an amazing Dad and husband to my mom.

As a kid I assumed he worked at that plant until 95, at which point he was laid off and went back to school for a nursing degree. He completed that and worked as a nurse until he died of a heart attack in 2011.

My mother had recently gotten really sick and is convinced she�s not hot much time left. She�s living with me for the time being. On one exceptionally bad day for her she �confessed� that Dad had been laid off in 1988 and started �doing nasty work� to keep the bills paid. I pressed her more on what she meant and before she passed out from her pain pills she mentioned that Dad �made some bad people go away�.

Our town growing up most definitely had an organized crime problem. It was a not very well hidden secret that the Polish Mafia owned the local rolling skating rink and a few restaurants.

A few days later I asked Mom more about what she meant, and she claimed it was delusions from her medication. But now things are starting to seem weird to me.

Dad�s funeral had a few people show up that I didn�t know, who Mom said were friends of Dad from school and work.

I also remember that after the funeral Mom visited the bank a lot and has really never had financial issues since then.

I would love to know more but realistically I never will, and I don�t want to push things too much and ruin my relationship with my mother before she dies.

Rural mafia stories are very cool, very Fargo, I like it

quote:

I grew up going to religious school and my family and extended family make it a point to attend church together when visiting for the weekend or getting to important events such as baptisms etc.

About 15 years ago my brother stopped going to church just because he didn't feel like waking up every morning and I was young enough at that point that it didn't phase me.

A few years ago my sister "came out" as atheist which caught us by surprise and was written off as a phase or part of becoming an independent adult.

Ever since I was little, I've always had anxiety about the thought of the finality of death without an afterlife but I had my family and church community to look up to and reinforce what I've always believed. My sister being atheist makes me second guess everything and I get anxiety thinking about the fragility and shortness of life and how much time is spent wasted on stupid things.

Also I hate to think that some people's entire existence is spent suffering and there could be no heaven to look forward to and how as a civilization there is so much needless pain and suffering inflicted on people.

yeah this kind of poo poo is why religions are such a big thing imo

# ? Jan 24, 2018 14:16

Not a Children: Oct 9, 2012; Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

loquacius posted:

yeah this kind of poo poo is why religions are such a big thing imo

Yeah life is real fuckin' scary and it's really comforting to think there's some kind of order to it

# ? Jan 24, 2018 14:21

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Life's only scary if you think about it. You get one run at this thing. Have fun, do things, try new experiences. If there's an afterlife (wouldn't count on it) it will sort itself out, no need to worry about it.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 14:30

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Life means nothing at all, every day billions of lifeforms perish mostly unnoticed

Have some fun and try to do what feels good for you and others. Then when you die, well, you'll just go back to whatever state you were in for all eternity before you were born

# ? Jan 24, 2018 14:47

Neutrino: Mar 8, 2006; Fallen Rib

quote:

Ever since I was little, I've always had anxiety about the thought of the finality of death without an afterlife but I had my family and church community to look up to and reinforce what I've always believed. My sister being atheist makes me second guess everything and I get anxiety thinking about the fragility and shortness of life and how much time is spent wasted on stupid things.

Also I hate to think that some people's entire existence is spent suffering and there could be no heaven to look forward to and how as a civilization there is so much needless pain and suffering inflicted on people.

Once you're dead, you're dead. If you are in heaven, hell, or just springing up daisies, you are dead. That means you are not curing cancer, you are not writing the great American novel, not playing X-Box all loving day, you are not shooting up school kids, etc. The game is over. Does it matter if you are in heaven? It is such an ego thing to waste all that time praying to God or Allah and being "moral" in your religion's version.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 17:49

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

Do they have videogames in heaven? :ohdear:

# ? Jan 24, 2018 17:50

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Fartbox posted:

Do they have videogames in heaven?

Every god drat Dreamcast game you can think of my man.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 18:44

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Neutrino posted:

Once you're dead, you're dead. If you are in heaven, hell, or just springing up daisies, you are dead. That means you are not curing cancer, you are not writing the great American novel, not playing X-Box all loving day, you are not shooting up school kids, etc. The game is over. Does it matter if you are in heaven? It is such an ego thing to waste all that time praying to God or Allah and being "moral" in your religion's version.

The difference is that one is eternal pleasure vs eternal pain so I can understand if people are maybe a bit partial to one of them over the other.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 18:53

Unknowable Hole: Feb 2, 2005; Pillbug

DandyLion posted:

Every god drat Dreamcast game you can think of my man.

Also every Disney video game from the 90s ported to Sega Game Gear.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 18:55

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

DandyLion posted:

Every god drat Dreamcast game you can think of my man.

So no WoW?

# ? Jan 24, 2018 18:58

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Fartbox posted:

Do they have videogames in heaven?

In Heaven, Star Citizen is an actual functioning game that fulfills all its earthly promises

# ? Jan 24, 2018 19:00

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

In Heaven, Star Citizen is an actual functioning game that fulfills all its earthly promises

C'mon man, its Heaven, not some fantasy make believe bullshit.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 19:32

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

I like to lol at religious people, as someone who was raised with church and who taught Sunday school for years and years, but I believe plenty of crazy stuff and only really think religion interfering with scientific and sociological progress is an issue. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Basically if people could maintain their spirituality without attempting to impose their morality on others, I�d literally never think about it, but because the two are so bound together it leaves me with plenty of opportunities to go �uh wait, what, you think what? Whoa�

# ? Jan 24, 2018 23:15

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Unknowable Hole posted:

Also every Disney video game from the 90s ported to Sega Game Gear.

The one downside of heaven is that you still have to pay for batteries, so you can put yourself into good deed debt by having to buy the 18 AA batteries you'd go through playing the thing for 2 hours.

# ? Jan 24, 2018 23:30

Big Butt Skinner: Apr 16, 2005; Blueprints of the dummy...
Notarized photos of you making the dummy...
And an alternate wording for the banner: "Buttzilla."

Therapy Goon saga was some good poo poo. It's a shame we haven't heard from him in so long.

I don't think he got murdered, my money is on that they ended up in a miserable marriage that will go on far too long.

Big Butt Skinner fucked around with this message at 20:28 on Jan 25, 2018

# ? Jan 25, 2018 16:23

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I think the relationship ended, he wound up back at home having to hear how he ruined it from his parents, has slipped back into depression, and now doesn't trust therapists to get any help.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 17:16

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

Not a confession per se but here are some things I do to spice life up a little. Guilty pleasures if you will.

Random acts of doing other people's "work chores" for them without them knowing (tidying up, emptying trash, vacuuming, etc).

Sending snail mail.

Take leftover salmon and throw it on a peanut butter sandwich.

Peanut butter on toasted pop-tarts.

My twist on a beer shower? Take in an ice cream cone instead. Snickers ice cream bars work for this too.

Occasionally bundling up, blasting the heat, and driving with the windows down when it's below 40 outside.

You know how some people rest their feet on the dashboard from the passenger seat? I used do this with my non-driving foot if it's warm out and I can roll down the driver's side window for some wiggle room. I stopped doing it once I couldn't get the picture of crashing and having the airbag pin my leg above my head.

Pulling my second couch so that it faces my main couch, thereby creating a bowl of cushions and snuggly goodness. Much more robust than a simple ottoman as a footstool.

Posting in the "It's Friday at the office ITT" thread while at work, any day of the week.

Trying to figure out if goons are really experts on random subjects in GBS threads or if they just do a quick google search to compose an educated reply.

Inside jokes with coworkers to pass the time. Sadly I've transitioned to a more isolated role but I try to get in comedy time with my buds when possible.

I'm assuming there's a dedicated thread for this stuff but here you go.

Most of these were pretty ordinary, but the food ones grossed me out (not the poptart one though, that was good) and as for the couch thing I think they just call that a "bed"

quote:

This is a stupid confession, just FYI. I am terrified of open water. Not being able to see the bottom freaks me the gently caress out. The thought of being so far underwater that I can't see the surface freaks me the gently caress out also. This was like the number one thing that my family made fun of me for for the last decade ever since the Pontoon Boat Incident in 2006 where they forced me onto a boat for a wedding picture rehersal, I panicked and fell into the water and pulled my sister (the lead bridesmaid) in after me ruining her dress and my cousin in law's wedding.
To get them off my back I told them I was getting counselling in college and that my counselor said that the only way I'd get better is if they stopped teasing me about it constantly. Except even the thought of counselling freaks me out, so I am lying to them about that. To "prove" I am getting better I buy, download, and install every game I can find on Steam (Subnautica is releasing tomorrow, FML) that involves deep water and being underwater. But I can't bring myself to play any of them, so I just open the game while my computer is idle so it says on my Steam profile I have time in that game. My younger brother is getting suspicious that I have no Steam achievements for water games, so I am thinking about hiring a professional gamer to play some of these horror games just so it looks more like I am getting over my phobia.
I know, first world problems etc.

I think this is like peak anxiety

Anyway I can understand the part about large aquatic creatures being scary -- the one part of The Witcher 3 I found terrifying was the part where you're sailing around in a tiny boat and a giant friggin' blue whale swims around you, not bothering you or doing anything harmful -- but there really isn't a need to generate a web of lies this size over it

# ? Jan 25, 2018 17:26

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

I've just started playing Subnautica and it can be legit scary, actually :ohdear:

# ? Jan 25, 2018 18:28

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Play SOMA

# ? Jan 25, 2018 18:33

Modus Pwnens: Dec 29, 2004

You can fake the achievements with SAM. :eng101:

# ? Jan 25, 2018 18:49

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

feedmegin posted:

I've just started playing Subnautica and it can be legit scary, actually

I love that game. I almost died IRL in a diving accident, so it triggers me hard.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 18:50

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

I played subnautica, was super engrossed in it, somehow lost all interest in the middle of the game and now I barely even remember it. I call it the indie syndrome.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 18:56

Cacator: Aug 6, 2005; You're quite good at turning me on.

Audax posted:

Have you guys heard about this new thing called The Secret? if you will it, it will come.

That's good to know because I REALLY want to win the lottery!

# ? Jan 25, 2018 19:15

Neutrino: Mar 8, 2006; Fallen Rib

quote:

Trying to figure out if goons are really experts on random subjects in GBS threads or if they just do a quick google search to compose an educated reply.

I ask Alexa on my iPhone X.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 19:21

it dont matter: Aug 29, 2008

There's a name for it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thalassophobia

I don't like the ocean much either, though I've never stacked it off a boat and ruined a wedding.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 19:24

Tiberius Thyben: Feb 7, 2013; Gone Phishing

alphabettitouretti posted:

There's a name for it: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thalassophobia

I don't like the ocean much either, though I've never stacked it off a boat and ruined a wedding.

Not to be confused with Thessalophobia, when you�re worried about those Macedonians eyeing your city state.

# ? Jan 25, 2018 19:49

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider

Tiberius Thyben posted:

Not to be confused with Thessalophobia, when you�re worried about those Macedonians eyeing your city state.

Tell me, Tiberius. Now that I have finished with your neighbors, shall I visit as friend or foe?

# ? Jan 25, 2018 21:55

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

I mean, technically you could call it an extension of a fear of heights. Or maybe depths.

# ? Jan 26, 2018 06:10

Pretty good: Apr 16, 2007

Water phobia confessor, have you heard the good word of Nick Ulillillia Smith?

# ? Jan 26, 2018 11:36

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

wasn't there a confessor that wanted to kidnap him

# ? Jan 26, 2018 13:31

Ghostnuke: Sep 21, 2005; Throw this in a pot, add some broth, a potato? Baby you got a stew going!

Nick loves water these days, he just got back from Hawaii.

# ? Jan 26, 2018 16:21

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# ? May 13, 2024 04:00

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Puppetmaster fesh once more. Confirming that he used the correct passphrase.

quote:

Puppetmaster here. Just wanted to stop in and gloat. I managed to trick someone into doing something that would get them banned, boy that felt good. To add insult to injury they also caught a long rear end probe. *whistles*

I've been lying low though. I don't even post very often anymore, instead I just put people on my buddy list and stalk their posts for things to report.

I know you think I'm stupid or lame or whatever, but there's no greater feeling than seeing someone you don't like catch a probe or ban. Feels good man.

Loving the new, pro social justice mods btw. It's sooooo easy to dig up an innocent post like "I hope rural people take heroin and die" and sling a sixer with these chumps behind the wheel.

I dunno if that's a social-justice thing exactly; stereotypically SJWs lust for rural death more than anyone else

A followup from the guy who was being left hanging after an internship, a while back:

quote:

Job Goon here I don't think anybody actually reads my confessions but here we go.

Still waiting for this part-time contract to come through, the one that was "almost ready" in November. I haven't heard from them since, no responses to emails. They moved office in December, so the phone numbers also don't work. They DID pay off my invoice though after the guy who helped me get this job (Joe, friend of the boss and has his own company) asked if I was paid yet. I didn't ask him to do this he just forwarded me a copy of an email he sent one day and got a response that they were unpacking the invoices that day. Still doesn't explain why they haven't responded to my own e-mails yet. Joe says/thinks they are still busy with the move and will be done by February.

Wrote a bunch of text here complaining about the job search then deleted it. I'm still searching and applying but have yet to get an interview as usual. Joe sent my stuff to people within his company and they know I'll be ready when they need contract work done there. Right now I just want PAID work to actually justify my four years of college and two years of searching. The only reason I'm so stuck on this one opportunity is because I feel like it will be my last if things don't pull through. I loving hate that contacts and back doors are the only viable options anymore.

The longer it takes, the more I feel like I'm being sabotaged or am on some blacklist or whatever. I have nobody to talk to in this industry or in the creative art field at all, so it feels good to write this stuff down for anyone to read.

I was gonna say you definitely need to move on from this by now, but it sounds like you're trying. If it's any consolation, your situation is basically the archetypal millenial conundrum. You aren't alone. Hang in there, keep searching, and keep your head up.

Here's one more since we had only followups today:

quote:

I�ve been really stressed lately, and maybe a tad depressed (I know it�s situational and not clinical), and I feel stupid for complaining.

I have a girlfriend, and things are great. I have a place to live. It�s a small place, and we�re sort of crowded in there, but the rent is cheap. I don�t make tons of money, but I make enough to pay the bills and have money left over. I don�t have any life-threatening diseases, and I have a lot of good acquaintances and a few very close friends I can trust. All good there.

The problem is that, while I basically like where I work, and my bosses are genuinely awesome people, as time goes on, I see jobs in general as a waste of my time. I�m not the type who goes home and plays video games all night and veges out, though I have my veging (vegging?) out days of course. I like writing, and I love researching and learning new things. That�s what�s important to me.

The subject matter I write about won�t make me a millionaire, but if I could keep a steady flow of books and other writing going, it�ll make me a nice cash stream. I already have one book at the publisher waiting to come out, and I�m working on another project now.

But I don�t think I�ll be able to quit work as I see it now, because I need time to write, so jobs cut into the time I could spend POSSIBLY getting out of work or not needing to depend on it. It�s a horrible cycle. I�m at least hoping this will allow me to put a large downpayment on a house, but the rat-race is depressing me.

Honestly, I kind of wish I could make a living from writing too, but it's a really hard field to subsist on (if not as hard as art, sorry jobgoon) and if you're able to get even a little money out of pursuing your passion you're doing pretty good.

# ? Jan 26, 2018 16:28

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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