- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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Maybe this actor is Daniel Day-Lewis levels of hardcore and thus he can help us
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Jan 28, 2018 18:41
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 23, 2024 10:30
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- DreamingofRoses
- Jun 27, 2013
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Nap Ghost
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You can do it, you don't need an actor to help you.
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#
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Jan 29, 2018 19:11
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- Friend Commuter
- Nov 3, 2009
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SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.
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Smellrose
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Illinois Smith it is, then.
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#
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Jan 29, 2018 20:33
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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Illinois Smith, really?
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#
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Jan 30, 2018 00:46
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
You decide to ask Illinois Smith for help.
Why not? He's always figuring out ancient curses and translating foreign languages and things like that in his movies.
"Uh, excuse me," you say, walking up to Smith.
Actually, his real name's not Smith. That's just his character's name. But you can't remember his real name.
"Yeah?" he says, glancing at you from under his famous brown hat.
You hand him the strange thin pages of the mummy's diary. "Uh, I was wondering if you could - "
But before you can finish your sentence, Smith grabs the diary out of your hands. "Sure, kid," he says. "Anytime."
Then he pulls out a big, fat, felt-tipped marker and scrawls an autograph across the page, completely blotting out the ancient writing underneath!
Did you really think a movie star was going to decipher hieroglyphics for you?
Really?
Well, decipher this: Ha. Ha-ha-ha. Hah-hah-hah-hah!
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Mummy's Diary
Goal Endings: 1/3
Bad Endings
Interrupted a ritual and dried up into dust.
Thrown into the ocean and eaten by sharks.
Forced to remain in the mummy's body as a museum exhibit.
Got the attention of a crocodile with a sweet tooth.
Devoured by a hungry crocodile.
 Got the diary defaced by an inattentive actor.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
Punk'd: Fell for the old "fake mummy with a psychic diary" routine.
A Pharaoh in Frisco: Let the mummy revive himself.
Sekhmet Switcharoo: Convinced your family of your identity while still in the mummy's body.
Our options posted:
- Don't give the mummy the diary.
- Stay in the alcove with the doctors.
- Take the tunnel.
- Show the American the diary.
- Give the Egyptian the diary.
- Try to decipher the diary yourself.
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#
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Jan 30, 2018 03:02
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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Book, you're being mean. :<
Screw you, we can do it ourselves.
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#
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Jan 30, 2018 03:22
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- FriskyBoat
- Apr 23, 2011
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If you want something done right, do it yourself.
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#
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Jan 30, 2018 04:22
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
Forget him, you decide. He's just a movie character. What would he know about hieroglyphics in real life?
Besides, beyond the movie set you see a catering truck!
They'd have to have something to drink!
A moment later you're sitting in the shade of one of the pyramids with a cool, refreshing bottle of cola.
You pull the diary out of your pocket again and study the pictures in the book.
There's the page with the birds, PAGE 7. And there's another one with fish. You notice that each of the pages has one, two, or three stars in the corner.
One of the extras from the film sits down next to you. He peers over your shoulder, noticing the ancient-looking book in your hand.
"Hey," he says, pointing to the page with birds on it. "That restaurant's still in downtown Cairo. Pete's Chicken Grill. Best place in town."
Restaurant? Chicken Grill? What's he talking about?
Then it dawns on you. The pictures of birds and fish. The stars in the corner. The diary is a restaurant guide! Who'd have thought Buthramaman was really the world's first restaurant critic!
Oh, well, don't feel bad. You've solved the mystery of the mummy's diary. And now you know where to get a good meal.
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Mummy's Diary
Goal Endings: 1/3
Bad Endings
Interrupted a ritual and dried up into dust.
Thrown into the ocean and eaten by sharks.
Forced to remain in the mummy's body as a museum exhibit.
Got the attention of a crocodile with a sweet tooth.
Devoured by a hungry crocodile.
Got the diary defaced by an inattentive actor.
Discovered our ancient Egyptian artifact was just a restaurant guide.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
Punk'd: Fell for the old "fake mummy with a psychic diary" routine.
A Pharaoh in Frisco: Let the mummy revive himself.
Sekhmet Switcharoo: Convinced your family of your identity while still in the mummy's body.
Our options posted:
- Don't give the mummy the diary.
- Stay in the alcove with the doctors.
- Take the tunnel.
- Show the American the diary.
- Give the Egyptian the diary.
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#
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Jan 30, 2018 19:00
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
You decide Derek is right. You can't let the mummy have the diary. It seems really creepy to fool around with magic, especially magic that brings someone back to life who's been dead four thousand years!
"No deal," you tell the mummy. Then, just to be sure he doesn't grab the diary away from you, you rip it to shreds.
He stares at you with his hollow eye sockets. It gives you chills.
Uh-oh. Now he's mad. Really mad.
"Then... I... must... seek... my... revenge," the mummy says, letting every word escape between wheezing breaths.
The mummy's hand darts out. He grabs your wrist. He's unbelievably strong!
"You... must... come... with... me," he says, dragging you toward the hall. "Or..."
Or? You have a choice?
"Or... let... me... have... that... child."
With the last word, the mummy lets go of your wrist and points to your little sister who's still asleep on the couch.
Hmmm...
Should you go with the mummy on PAGE 6?
Or should you let the mummy take Susie on PAGE 64?
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 1/3
Bad Endings
Interrupted a ritual and dried up into dust.
Thrown into the ocean and eaten by sharks.
Forced to remain in the mummy's body as a museum exhibit.
Got the attention of a crocodile with a sweet tooth.
Devoured by a hungry crocodile.
Got the diary defaced by an inattentive actor.
Discovered our ancient Egyptian artifact was just a restaurant guide.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
Punk'd: Fell for the old "fake mummy with a psychic diary" routine.
A Pharaoh in Frisco: Let the mummy revive himself.
Sekhmet Switcharoo: Convinced your family of your identity while still in the mummy's body.
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#
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Jan 31, 2018 19:06
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- Pangurban
- Apr 29, 2015
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Go with the mummy! I'm sure we can talk this out.
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#
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Jan 31, 2018 20:13
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Go with the mummy.
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#
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Jan 31, 2018 23:40
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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Y'know, I might just believe the mummy has no malice for us...
Let's go with him.
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#
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Feb 1, 2018 06:34
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
Let the mummy take Susie? You can't do it.
"No way," you tell the mummy, your voice shaking. "Take me - but leave her alone."
"Yes...," the mummy whispers in his hoarse, raspy voice. He grips your wrist with his gauzy bandaged hand and starts to drag you out of the hotel.
"Wait," you tell the mummy. "I need to get my jacket." The mummy stares at you a moment, then releases you.
"Don't worry," you whisper to Derek as you grab your jacket. "I'm just going with him so he won't hurt Susie. But I'll get away from him as soon as we're outside."
"Okay," Derek whispers back. "I'll follow you."
"No... you... won't," the mummy says to Derek. Then he points a bandaged finger at Derek's head. Instantly, your brother is frozen stiff. He can't move!
quote:
You stumble as the mummy drags you down the hotel hallway. He leads you out a side service entrance.
Fog floats in the darkness, just above the street lamps. The back alley is empty, except for a rat that scampers away when it hears you coming.
Once you're outside, you figure it's time to make a break for it. "Let me go!" you cry. You try to pull away from the mummy, but you can't. His hold on your wrist is powerful. His grip is like a steel vise.
"Come... on...," he rasps in his breathy whisper. "We've... got... to... hurry."
Hurry? Where?
Quickly, the mummy brings you back to the Pyramid Building. No one sees you sneak back into the lobby of the building. Not even the guard, who is still asleep.
Silently, the mummy pulls you toward the sarcophagus that was his resting place for four thousand years. Shattered glass is still scattered all around.
"Get... in!" the mummy orders you, pointing to it.
Get in? Into a sarcophagus?
If you get in the mummy case, turn to PAGE 68.
If you try to escape again, turn to PAGE 21.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 1/3
Bad Endings
Interrupted a ritual and dried up into dust.
Thrown into the ocean and eaten by sharks.
Forced to remain in the mummy's body as a museum exhibit.
Got the attention of a crocodile with a sweet tooth.
Devoured by a hungry crocodile.
Got the diary defaced by an inattentive actor.
Discovered our ancient Egyptian artifact was just a restaurant guide.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
Punk'd: Fell for the old "fake mummy with a psychic diary" routine.
A Pharaoh in Frisco: Let the mummy revive himself.
Sekhmet Switcharoo: Convinced your family of your identity while still in the mummy's body.
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#
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Feb 1, 2018 17:17
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- Graylien
- Aug 12, 2013
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Hey, we've come this far with him, let's get in the sarcophagus
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#
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Feb 1, 2018 18:42
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Get on in there.
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#
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Feb 1, 2018 18:54
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- Pangurban
- Apr 29, 2015
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Get in the box. In for a penny, dead for a pound.
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#
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Feb 1, 2018 18:56
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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That box isn't going to turn into a TARDIS is it?
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#
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Feb 1, 2018 19:08
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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I'm sure this is just like the last book like that other book and the mummy just wants to tell us we really loving suck at playing the flute
Leraika fucked around with this message at 02:20 on Feb 2, 2018
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#
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Feb 1, 2018 19:38
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- Friend Commuter
- Nov 3, 2009
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SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.
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Smellrose
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 the case
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#
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Feb 2, 2018 14:27
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
Your throat tightens in terror as the mummy points to his sarcophagus and repeats the words.
"Get... in."
No way do you want to do it. Lie down in a musty old box? Where a mummy lay dead for centuries? Where you may be locked for eternity? The thought is horrifying.
But what choice do you have? Derek isn't going to show up now. He's still back at the hotel, frozen stiff. Frozen by some ancient magic the mummy used.
If I don't get in, the mummy will point his finger and freeze me, too, you think.
You lift one leg and then the other, climbing into the small, gold-encrusted wooden box. The mummy case is carved in the shape of a human being.
A shiver runs through you as you lie down. How come you fit so snugly into the mummy sarcophagus? How come it feels as if it were made just for you? Is this more mummy magic?
And how long will you have to stay in there? Will you be able to breathe? Is the mummy going to bury you alive?
The mummy lifts the heavy wooden lid and begins to lower it. In an instant, you will be sealed inside this airless box - possibly forever! You've got to do something!
quote:
"Help!" you cry out, trying to wake the guard. "Someone - help me!"
The mummy's dead eye sockets stare at you coldly as he starts to bring the lid into place.
"Wait!" you cry. "I can help you." Your mind races with ideas, trying to think of some way - any way - to save yourself. Then it hits you.
"Even without the diary, I can bring you back to life," you say.
For the longest moment, the mummy just stares. His wheezing breaths are the only sounds that echo in the marble lobby. Will he believe you?
"You... can?" he finally asks.
"Yes!" you declare firmly.
Well, you can on one condition. If you've read the GOOSEBUMPS book Return of the Mummy - and if you can remember the secret chant that brought that mummy back to life!
Think hard. Your life depends on it!
If you think it was 'Klaatu Barada Nikto,' turn to PAGE 32.
If you think it was 'Teki Kahru Teki Kahra Teki Khari,' turn to PAGE 37.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 1/3
Bad Endings
Interrupted a ritual and dried up into dust.
Thrown into the ocean and eaten by sharks.
Forced to remain in the mummy's body as a museum exhibit.
Got the attention of a crocodile with a sweet tooth.
Devoured by a hungry crocodile.
Got the diary defaced by an inattentive actor.
Discovered our ancient Egyptian artifact was just a restaurant guide.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
Punk'd: Fell for the old "fake mummy with a psychic diary" routine.
A Pharaoh in Frisco: Let the mummy revive himself.
Sekhmet Switcharoo: Convinced your family of your identity while still in the mummy's body.
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#
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Feb 2, 2018 17:08
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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It's probably that first one, reference to something older notwithstanding.
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#
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Feb 2, 2018 17:19
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- Friend Commuter
- Nov 3, 2009
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SO CLEVER I WANT TO FUCK MY OWN BRAIN.
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Smellrose
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I don't remember if I ever read that particular Goosebumps book, but I'm pretty sure Klaatu Barada Nikto was from something else. Teki Kahru etc.
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#
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Feb 2, 2018 17:20
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- rudecyrus
- Nov 6, 2009
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fuck you trolls
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Yay, The Day the Earth Stood Still references!
Pick the second one
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#
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Feb 2, 2018 18:36
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- AnAnonymousIdiot
- Sep 14, 2013
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Say the Teki Kahra line.
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#
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Feb 2, 2018 19:27
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- AceOfFlames
- Oct 9, 2012
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If we're going to die, let's die making the obvious pop culture reference.
Klaatu Barada Nectarine it is.
AceOfFlames fucked around with this message at 23:26 on Feb 2, 2018
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#
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Feb 2, 2018 22:48
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
"Yes," you tell the mummy. "I know a secret chant that will bring you back to life."
"What... is... it?" the mummy asks, wheezing between each word.
"Klatu Barrada Nicto," you recite. You close your eyes and say it again, like a chant. "Klatu Barrada Nicto."
"Ha!" the mummy exclaims, almost laughing. "Klatu... Barrada... Nicto? That... is... from... an... old... movie! You... know... nothing. You... are... doomed!"
Uh-oh. He's right. Those are the words the alien speaks in the old 1950s sci-fi movie, The Day the Earth Stood Still.
You're in big trouble now.
quote:
The mummy begins to lower the heavy lid.
"Wait!" you cry, sitting up quickly in the sarcophagus so he can't shut it. "Isn't there anything else you want? Besides coming back to life, I mean?"
After a moment, the mummy lifts his dried, bony hand to his face and strokes his cheek. A few prunelike fingers jut out from beneath his bandages.
"I... want... to... look... younger," the mummy whispers. "My... skin... is... so... dry."
Younger? you think. Is he nuts?
Yes.
But hey! This is California, right? Everyone wants to look younger here!
There's only one problem. How can you make a four-thousand-year-old mummy look younger?
quote:
"Younger," you repeat. "Okay. We can do that."
Quickly, you hop out of the sarcophagus so he can't close you in. "Follow me," you tell him.
Snaking your way through the streets of San Francisco, you lead the mummy to a building a few blocks away. It's a glass-and-chrome-fronted building with a fancy sign painted on the door.
THE HEAVEN-ON-EARTH HEALTH SPA.
You remember this place because you've passed it every day on the way to your hotel. And it's open twenty-four hours a day!
"What's... this?" the mummy asks. He stands back from the door, hesitant to go in. In fact, he's acting a little shy.
"It's a health spa," you explain. "A fancy place where they give you health drinks, mud baths, and things like that. They make you look younger. That's their job."
"Really?" the mummy whispers.
Although it seems impossible, you almost see a flicker of a smile spread across his lips.
You lead the way into the spa and approach the receptionist.
"Uh, hi," you stammer. "My, uh, friend, here, wants to get a skin treatment."
The receptionist eyes the mummy suspiciously. "Does he have an appointment?" she asks.
quote:
"An appointment?" you say. "Uh, no. But, uh, he's working for the government. He's supposed to, you know, check this place out and find out if your ads are true. Like when they say that you can make people look younger. Can you? Because if you can't, we'll have to close this place down."
"Really?" the receptionist asks nervously. "Oh - well, come on in. I'm sure we can work him in somehow."
Soon, the mummy is up to his neck in a bathtub full of slimy green stuff. A body wrap, they call it. It's supposed to make his skin young and smooth.
"Whoa!" the young woman spa attendant says to the mummy. "It's going to take more than a body wrap to get you into shape. Have you been spending a lot of time in the sun or something?"
"Yes...," the mummy says, wheezing between words. "It's... very... hot... where... I... come... from."
You pace up and down while the mummy has the full spa treatment. Juice drinks, steam facials, mud baths, chemical skin injections, vitamin pills, herbal teas - and a massage to top it all off.
What are the chances this is going to work? you ask yourself. And what will the mummy do if it doesn't?
quote:
Finally a glass door in the spa swings open, and the mummy walks out.
"How... do... I... look?" he asks you in his raspy voice.
"Uh, younger!" you exclaim. "Much younger!"
And it's true. The mummy looks about five hundred years younger. Now he only looks about three thousand five hundred years old.
"Thank... you." the mummy says, giving you a small, satisfied smile.
Then he walks out of the health spa and waves good-bye. The last you see of him, his bandages trail behind him as he stiffly strolls down the street.
Weird, you think. But at least it's over.
That's what you think.
When you get back to the hotel, you pick up the mummy's diary. And gasp.
There, on the last page - a page that was blank when you left the hotel - you find more new writing. It says:
"Today I met a new friend. A wise friend who knew how to restore my youth. What else does this young person know? I must find out! I will follow this young person for all eternity!"
Oh, well. Here you go again!
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 1/3
Bad Endings
Interrupted a ritual and dried up into dust.
Thrown into the ocean and eaten by sharks.
Forced to remain in the mummy's body as a museum exhibit.
Got the attention of a crocodile with a sweet tooth.
Devoured by a hungry crocodile.
Got the diary defaced by an inattentive actor.
Discovered our ancient Egyptian artifact was just a restaurant guide.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
Punk'd: Fell for the old "fake mummy with a psychic diary" routine.
A Pharaoh in Frisco: Let the mummy revive himself.
Sekhmet Switcharoo: Convinced your family of your identity while still in the mummy's body.
Only Skin Deep: Helped the mummy improve his complexion.
Our options posted:
- Stay in the alcove with the doctors.
- Take the tunnel.
- Show the American the diary.
- Give the Egyptian the diary.
- Let the mummy take Susie.
- Try to escape the mummy.
- Tell the mummy the right magic words.
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#
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Feb 4, 2018 04:29
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- AweStriker
- Oct 6, 2014
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Sure, let's use the right magic words even though they have a word for "enemy" in them at least three times.
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#
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Feb 4, 2018 06:13
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- Pangurban
- Apr 29, 2015
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Sure, let's use the right magic words even though they have a word for "enemy" in them at least three times.
Well, that makes me curious. See what the other words do.
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#
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Feb 4, 2018 11:34
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- Graylien
- Aug 12, 2013
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aww, we made a friend. Let's try the other magic words and close off this path.
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#
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Feb 4, 2018 11:34
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
"I know a secret chant," you tell the mummy. "If I say it five times, it will bring you back to life."
You start to chant the powerful magic words.
"Teki Kahru Teki Kahra Te - "
"Wait!" the mummy cries, holding up his hand. "I... know... that... chant! It... does... work. But... I... am... not... ready... yet."
The mummy holds out his bandaged hands to help you out of the sarcophagus. Then he quickly takes your place in the box. He seems to almost smile as he settles back into the mummy case.
"All... right," the mummy says. "Close... the... lid... and... say... the... words."
"I don't get it," you say. "Why do you want to come back to life in the mummy case?"
The mummy gives you a sad, faraway gaze before answering. "That... is... the... only... way," he tells you. "My... diary... would... have... brought... me... to... life... now - in... this... wonderful... time... of... yours. But... your... magic... is... different. It... works... another... way."
"Another way? How?" you ask.
"Never... mind," the mummy warns you. Then he nearly shouts. "Just... say... the... words. Now!"
quote:
The mummy's angry voice terrifies you.
"Close... the... lid!" he shouts, his voice booming.
Shaking, you do as he says, shutting him into the mummy case. Then you begin to recite the ancient words.
"Teki Kahru Teki Kahra Teki Khari," you say, your voice trembling. That's one. "Teki Kahru Teki Kahra Teki Khari."
That's two.
You say it a third time. But now your voice is steadier. You concentrate hard, making sure the words are recited in the right order. "Teki Kahru Teki Kahra Teki Khari."
Then a fourth. "Teki Kahru Teki Kahra Teki Khari."
You take a deep breath. One more time and the mummy will come back to life. You hesitate and swallow hard.
Do I really want to do this? you wonder. What about Derek's warning? What about not playing around with dead people? Why not just walk away and leave the mummy lying there, trapped again in his closed case?
quote:
For an instant, you consider not completing the spell. But you can't. Not after you gave your word.
And besides, the mummy seems so lonely.
"Teki Kahru Teki Kahra Teki Khari!" you chant quickly, before you lose your nerve again.
You hold your breath, waiting for the mummy to come back to life.
Silence. Nothing happens.
The lobby of the Pyramid Building is even quieter than before. A strange stillness hangs in the air. It's as if the whole world suddenly came to a grinding halt.
A horrible thought creeps into your head. Is everyone dead?
You glance over at the guard. He looks like he's asleep, but he's not snoring anymore. If he's asleep, it's a deep, dreamless sleep.
Sweat trickles down your neck while you wait for the mummy case to open.
Nothing. Nothing but silence and the sound of your own heartbeat.
Finally you can't stand it any longer. You reach over and open the lid.
quote:
"No!" you cry out. You stare into the wooden box.
The mummy is gone! And something else is in its place.
Gold! Tons of it. Coins, little statues, scepters, and crowns. All made of gold.
For a moment, you can't believe it. Is this some kind of illusion? Is there a trapdoor in the box? A sliding panel? Or mirrors? You've seen this kind of thing done by magicians on TV.
You lean into the box and feel the bottom and sides with both hands.
It's solid.
You pick up one of the coins and bite it.
It's really gold.
I guess the chant worked! you say to yourself. Maybe the mummy came back to life in Egypt. Maybe he went back to his own time and sent the gold to thank me. He said he was a king, didn't he? Then you hear a sound that makes you turn around.
"Thank... you," a voice whispers, echoing in the empty lobby. It's the familiar voice of the mummy, with the wheezing sound between each word. But the mummy is nowhere to be seen. "Thank... you... for... saving... my... life," he says. "I... hope... this... gold... can... repay... you... in... some... small... way.... And... now... I,... King... Buthramaman,... bid... you... farewell."
THE END
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Empty
Goal Endings: 2/3
Bad Endings
Interrupted a ritual and dried up into dust.
Thrown into the ocean and eaten by sharks.
Forced to remain in the mummy's body as a museum exhibit.
Got the attention of a crocodile with a sweet tooth.
Devoured by a hungry crocodile.
Got the diary defaced by an inattentive actor.
Discovered our ancient Egyptian artifact was just a restaurant guide.
Achievements
Night at the Museum: Faced down a decidedly non-supernatural mummy.
Punk'd: Fell for the old "fake mummy with a psychic diary" routine.
A Pharaoh in Frisco: Let the mummy revive himself.
Sekhmet Switcharoo: Convinced your family of your identity while still in the mummy's body.
Only Skin Deep: Helped the mummy improve his complexion.
Our options posted:
- Stay in the alcove with the doctors.
- Take the tunnel.
- Show the American the diary.
- Give the Egyptian the diary.
- Let the mummy take Susie.
- Try to escape the mummy.
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Feb 4, 2018 18:59
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Jan 28, 2018 18:41
