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Coredump posted:I want to watch a sitcom where Bob and Dick work together.   
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Feb 8, 2018 20:23
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Dick Trauma posted:One of our newer employees has my phone number in his email signature block. He has been told several times to fix it. He has not. Now I just hang up on anyone that asks for him. I've been tempted to say "Yes, this is Matthew and you can go gently caress yourself!" Seems like an ideal opportunity to agree to every request that people make of him on his behalf.
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Feb 8, 2018 20:24
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Agrikk posted:Resurrecting this post for incredulity. Yeah, it really sucked, client was a parts manufacturing place and both the IT manager and his boss were assholes (mainly because IT manager had been with his company for like 12 years and his boss thought he was some golden boy). IT manager had some serious anger issues, a lot of which stemmed from other people at his company trash-talking or making fun of him behind his back for being such a crybaby. I was glad when he got fired and even happier when we turned them down as a client because of how lovely those guys were.
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Feb 8, 2018 20:27
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Coredump posted:I want to watch a sitcom where Bob and Dick work together. Ticket Tales.
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Feb 8, 2018 20:30
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Plot twist: Bob is actually Bill.
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Feb 8, 2018 21:01
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Dick Trauma posted:One of our newer employees has my phone number in his email signature block. He has been told several times to fix it. He has not. Now I just hang up on anyone that asks for him. I've been tempted to say "Yes, this is Matthew and you can go gently caress yourself!" Do you have C-string access to his workstation? Signatures are locally stored. You can just nuke the whole folder.
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Feb 8, 2018 21:09
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spog posted:Seems like an ideal opportunity to agree to every request that people make of him on his behalf.
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Feb 8, 2018 21:14
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Jaded Burnout posted:Plot twist: Bob is actually Bill. I like to imagine that right now, as we are complaining about users, that they are also on a message board complaining about how awful their IT is and telling stories about us. Currently pissing me off: The end users of my companies application are reporting a client issue, it relates to a backend service that I'm responsible for. Their internal support opens up a high priority ticket (rightfully so since it's important) telling me that there's a problem, and users are experiencing the issue, but it's hours ago and ongoing. The email doesn't include: 1) the times the users had the problem 2) the hostnames of any users (correction one hostname, and one screenshot of his desktop that has the clock cut off) 3) the actual issue they are experiencing So, I have to ask them for details, but the server and the users are in different time zones, so after they answer (which they haven't yet) I have to ask them again to clarify the timezones. You work in IT people, you know how to do a troubleticket. What do I do with "here's a problem, and here's two days work of logfiles, 200MB worth, 2434786 total lines of logs.
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Feb 8, 2018 21:30
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Jerk McJerkface posted:I like to imagine that right now, as we are complaining about users, that they are also on a message board complaining about how awful their IT is and telling stories about us. I assume that everyone I've ever worked for or with thinks I'm the dumbest/worst I.T. person of all time. I haven't seen any evidence to the contrary. P.S. This general principle also works with my family members!
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Feb 8, 2018 21:33
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I just assume everyone is an idiot; it has yet to fail me.
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Feb 8, 2018 21:33
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MF_James posted:I just assume everyone is an idiot; it has yet to fail me. Quote for truth
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Feb 8, 2018 22:02
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MF_James posted:I just assume everyone is an idiot; it has yet to fail me. Not empty quoting.
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Feb 8, 2018 22:04
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MF_James posted:I just assume everyone is an idiot; it has yet to fail me.
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Feb 8, 2018 22:06
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MF_James posted:I just assume everyone is an idiot; it has yet to fail me. Especially also important when driving.
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Feb 8, 2018 23:25
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MF_James posted:I just assume everyone is an idiot; it has yet to fail me. Super Soaker Party! posted:Especially also important when driving. Totally agree.
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Feb 8, 2018 23:30
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Super Soaker Party! posted:Especially also important when driving. I mean, I literally assume everyone is an idiot at all times, this includes other actions such as driving, biking, walking, talking and breathing.
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Feb 9, 2018 00:06
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Ugato posted:I’m just going to connect all the dots here to point out that going to work being worse than having a friend’s child die is pretty excessive and probably an exaggeration. It's an exaggeration, but not by much. I'm actively looking but so far it's been dry out there. Only interview I've had in the last 9 months went well, but they wanted a generalist / solo shop and it would have been a 40k paycut.
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Feb 9, 2018 00:11
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You also need to assume you're an idiot, because everyone is assuming you're an idiot and there's a non-zero chance some of them are right.
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Feb 9, 2018 00:20
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xzzy posted:You also need to assume you're an idiot, because everyone is assuming you're an idiot and there's a non-zero chance some of them are right. I never said I wasn't an idiot, we're all idiots, it's just a giant idiot spectrum of a world.
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Feb 9, 2018 00:26
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It's idiots all the way down.
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Feb 9, 2018 00:27
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Bob Morales posted:Bonus: if you send an internal email with your full signature the owner of the company comes down to ream you for 'wasting space' Thanks Ants posted:I have email signatures turned off, I might add one if it's the first message I'm sending to a new contact but I won't bother after that. poo poo just takes up too much space. I also turned my voicemail off months ago, on my desk phone and my iPhone. Hmmmm.
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Feb 9, 2018 00:28
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The Fool posted:It's idiots all the way down. The last thing the universe will ever know, in the picosecond before Heat Death, is some clueless office drone asking the void "Hey, is the Internet slow for anyone else?"
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Feb 9, 2018 00:29
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New thread title: More poo poo that pisses you off: It's idiots all the way down
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Feb 9, 2018 00:29
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Antioch posted:The last thing the universe will ever know, in the picosecond before Heat Death, is some clueless office drone asking the void "Hey, is the Internet slow for anyone else?" I hate that. "Open chrome. Go to Speedtest.net. Click Start test" *70-some odd mbs shows up" "Well it was slow earlier!"
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Feb 9, 2018 01:20
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Thanatosian posted:As someone who works mainly with Oracle databases, SQL terrifies me. If I forget a where clause in Oracle and accidentally change 140,000 rows instead of 1, I just roll it back, no harm, no foul. SQL is so unforgiving in comparison. what in the world are you talking about? oracle is a kind of sql database, and the ability to roll back a transaction is a feature of sql databases in general 
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Feb 9, 2018 02:05
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DELETE CASCADE posted:what in the world are you talking about? oracle is a kind of sql database, and the ability to roll back a transaction is a feature of sql databases in general Specifically: https://dev.mysql.com/doc/refman/5.7/en/commit.html
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Feb 9, 2018 02:11
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I have really just started working with Oracle in a serious way, and have barely touched SQL. That's good to know for the future, thank you.
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Feb 9, 2018 02:33
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Antioch posted:It's an exaggeration, but not by much. I'm actively looking but so far it's been dry out there. Only interview I've had in the last 9 months went well, but they wanted a generalist / solo shop and it would have been a 40k paycut. A friend of yours child died, jfc.
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Feb 9, 2018 15:31
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My friends fat wife went to see a shrink and it ended up boiling down to this: when she was a kid she had older brothers and if she didn't get as many hamburgers and fries as they did, she felt like her parents didn't love her as much so her parents obliged and gave her the same amount of food. So she would get depressed if she only had a little bit of food.
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Feb 9, 2018 15:34
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Dead Goon posted:A friend of yours child died, jfc. Maybe it wasn't a very good kid?
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Feb 9, 2018 16:34
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spog posted:Maybe it wasn't a very good kid? It was my wife's old manager's kid, who I never met. I shortened it to 'friend' because it's easier. I'm not heartless, that poo poo sucks, and I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child. Basic human empathy and all that.
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Feb 9, 2018 18:00
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An application specialist was dealing wiht a problem, and asked me to look at it, I uncovered a significant bug that is almost unfixable in one of our applications. His response: quote:Well thank you Jerk
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Feb 9, 2018 18:13
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Jerk McJerkface posted:An application specialist was dealing wiht a problem, and asked me to look at it, I uncovered a significant bug that is almost unfixable in one of our applications. Sounds like the average developer response tbh.
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Feb 9, 2018 18:15
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Jerk McJerkface posted:An application specialist was dealing wiht a problem, and asked me to look at it, I uncovered a significant bug that is almost unfixable in one of our applications. If there's even the slightest chance that guy is serious you should reach out to him and some of his friends. I ignored something like that from an acquaintance once, a guy I knew but not well. I brushed it off as just joking around, and he killed himself. That was ten years ago and I still feel guilty I didn't put in some kind of effort to check up on him. 
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Feb 9, 2018 18:27
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Jerk McJerkface posted:An application specialist was dealing wiht a problem, and asked me to look at it, I uncovered a significant bug that is almost unfixable in one of our applications. As above, I hope it isn't real. On the other hand, could not agree more.
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Feb 9, 2018 18:39
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ConfusedUs posted:If there's even the slightest chance that guy is serious you should reach out to him and some of his friends. Was he a developer?
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Feb 9, 2018 18:57
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PM: Macaroni, your scope is to cover C in project ABC. Me: Sure thing. Just please note that I can't do anything without A and B in place, and I am not responsible for those. [week passes] PM: Macaroni, have you started on C? Me: Nope, no sign of A and B. [week passes] PM: Macaroni, please explain your lack of update on C. Me: I still have not received items A and B. I refuse to do any preliminary work on C that will just be undone by issues that A and B might raise, and I won't know those issues until I have those completed items in hand. Hey person in charge of A and B, can I help with anything? A&B Owner: Nope! PM: Hmmm. We need a team meeting to determine the root cause of our holdup. We're going to miss the deadline. What could be the problem here? Are you sure you can't do any work on this yet, Macaroni? Edit: To be clear, I'm being asked to create course catalog items based on courses that don't exist yet. Not a lot I can do there. The Macaroni fucked around with this message at 19:27 on Feb 9, 2018 |
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Feb 9, 2018 19:18
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Sometimes when I get short notice of a new employee I see if there's a pre-configured laptop I can buy since those usually ship more quickly than a customized one. This morning I was setting up two new high level Dells and they would recognize the big ol' Dell Thunderbolt dock but I couldn't get them to send video to the LCDs or pick up the ethernet connection. I did all the usual updates and still no progress. Then I did a little digging and realized the laptops were equipped with Displayport over USB-C, and not Thunderbolt. What the gently caress is the point of this poo poo? I had to order a couple of DP/USB C docks with expedited shipping. So... thanks to Dell for offering the TB dock as an option when you're configuring a laptop that won't work with it.
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Feb 9, 2018 19:33
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Cached Exhange Mode Policy posted:This policy setting allows you to configure the amount (by date) of user email Outlook synchronizes locally using Cached Exchange Mode. Enabling this policy apparently sets the cache period to All regardless of what time period you select in the dropdown menu. Here's a screenshot of the resulting policy when set to 12 months:  I confirmed on a test machine that it is in fact being forced to All, and I get the same result when setting it to 3 or 6 months. To achieve my goal of forcing the setting to 12 months I have to set this policy to disabled. E: This is for Outlook 2016, the same policy for 2013 works as intended. Squatch Ambassador fucked around with this message at 19:51 on Feb 9, 2018 |
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Feb 9, 2018 19:45
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The story of the attempt to evade software licensing restrictions continues. The software is business-critical and expensive, and is licensed on a per-user/per-pc basis. Each license must be tied to a specific user's login, no concurrent logins, and you can't install it on more than one machine at a time. I got pulled into a discussion between the COO and one of the CEO's inner circle where she asked to have it installed on a laptop so she could log in to the software and then pass it around to anyone that wanted to use it. But she framed it as a "wink-wink, nudge-nudge" sort of way, indicating that she knew what she was doing was a violation of the licensing terms. I shut them both down, pointing out that it was my responsibility to protect the company from liability and wouldn't take an action specifically to violate a software license. The two of them continued to make jokes about how the laptop would never ever under any circumstances <WINK> be passed around like a cheap bottle of wine. Now the issue has come up again, with the person demanding the laptop. I gave her the same response and she got angry and stomped off to the COO. Just got off of a call with him where he needed to be refreshed as to the problem. He told me to hold off, but he's a big proponent of procrastination as a problem solver. I know this is a tempest in a tea cup. The violation is unlikely to ever be discovered. I don't even like that software company. But the cost of the licenses should've been figured into the budget. It's that simple. We MUST have it, so we MUST budget for it. If the violation was discovered we all know I would be blamed. "Dick didn't tell us. Dick said it was okay. We didn't know." In preparation for losing this argument I have prepped my heaviest, slowest spare laptop. It's so slow it's annoying just to use Windows Explorer. If they don't like it I have several other slow laptops available.
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Feb 9, 2018 22:35
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