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Eggtropy Slam - $6.66 ONLY AT DENNYS |
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Feb 10, 2018 00:07
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| # ? May 15, 2024 23:54 |
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:At the beginning of time, the Cosmic Hen laid a speckled egg. When the egg cracked open the shell became the heavens, the goo spread out to form the sea, and the yolk became the earth. This is how all things began. At the far end of time, there lies the great Scramble and the end of all things. Why did the Cosmic Chicken cross the road? To create the entire unthinkable immensity of time and space. |
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Feb 10, 2018 00:59
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sebmojo posted:Why did the Cosmic Chicken cross the road? To create the entire unthinkable immensity of time and space. |
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Feb 10, 2018 03:03
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DavidAlltheTime posted:Eggtropy Slam - $6.66 ONLY AT DENNYS Blood Moon Over My Hammy |
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Feb 10, 2018 03:50
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| Hit in the head and now I think I'm the egg thief from spyro | |
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Feb 10, 2018 04:13
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AverySpecialfriend posted:Hit in the head and now I think I'm the egg thief from spyro ....you give love a bad name. |
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Feb 10, 2018 08:36
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DavidAlltheTime posted:....you give love a bad name. 6.66/10 |
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Feb 10, 2018 17:47
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Drink-Mix Man posted:Blood Moon Over My Hammy CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
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Feb 12, 2018 06:11
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I helped someone steal some burgers last night. I guess you could say I'm the.............. hamburglar helper. |
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Feb 12, 2018 18:37
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An alternate universe where a big scandal didn't happen at the Watergate, it happened at a Whataburger. So when some footballs are underinflated, it's Deflataburger. When Seattle's basketball team moves to Oklahoma City, the fiasco is called Sonicsaburger When a bunch of people were really awful instead of just enjoying some fun video games, it was called Gameraburger AKA Kaiju-Sammy
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Feb 12, 2018 23:36
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Broken open by the informant, Purple Grimace |
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Feb 13, 2018 01:43
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"I'm not in a pickle" Richard Nixon famously declared only a few days before resigning in disgrace. |
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Feb 13, 2018 01:43
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lol |
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Feb 13, 2018 02:01
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"elton john got it wrong. it turns out you really can, but you have to start out with an empty wine bottle, an unopened bottle of whisky, and a funnel." -- an unnamed honky cat on condition of anonymity, s02e11 "song scandals" ---------------- |
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Feb 13, 2018 03:02
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A boat full of sirens, laughing as they do laps around a small island full of shipwrecked sailors.
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Feb 18, 2018 13:51
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Twenty Four posted:A boat full of sirens, laughing as they do laps around a small island full of shipwrecked sailors. Then they crash into a rock and their boat sinks, stranding them as well. *benny hill music plays as sailors chase rescuers* |
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Feb 18, 2018 16:32
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vanisher posted:Then they crash into a rock and their boat sinks, stranding them as well. circe appears and waves her wand. the sailors are transformed into puppies. resume benny hill music as the sirens chase the puppies.
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Feb 18, 2018 16:37
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Local Father, Son Die of Crust Poisoning Dayton, OH- Darryl Hannah, 43, thought he'd been doing all the right things when it came to his son's sandwich crusts. He would cut them off and eat them himself so as not to see them wasted. Unfortunately for Darryl, the body is only able to process crust in conjunction with bread. Darryl was building up a soon to be lethal dose of crust in his gallbladder. On the morning of Friday, February 16, 2018 Darryl Hannah prepared his son Lenny's (9) lunch as he had done for the past 4 years of Lenny's primary school education. But this would be the last time. As Lenny donned his backpack and sauntered towards the front door, his father munched absentmindedly on the leftover crust before keeling over, dead. Hearing a clatter from the kitchen, Lenny turned to find the corpse that was once his father. Overcome with grief Lenny took a bite of the crust himself and followed his father. For poor Lenny had never developed a tolerance for crust . |
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Feb 18, 2018 17:43
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I like that, like weird myths or benign habits that actually hurt/kill you... Local apple farmer dies in cart wreck, medical personnel unable to reach him Child seen running with scissors tazed by police |
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Feb 18, 2018 19:56
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Hugh Malone posted:I like that, like weird myths or benign habits that actually hurt/kill you... Fertility doc: "not every embryo will take, so we recommend implanting extras in addition to the customary +1, because last one in is a rotten egg" |
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Feb 18, 2018 20:38
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doctor: ..and here you can see where the spinal column is cracked causing paralysis below the waistline. I'm afraid your mother will never walk again. son: But doctor she was healthy. How could her back just break like that? doctor Have you been stepping on a lot of sidewalk cracks lately? son: 
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Feb 19, 2018 00:11
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Hi I'm calling about the car? Me: huh? I made a dating ad... What? No, the 1985 Ford Ranger? Me: not this again, I'm a 'Fjord Ranger' |
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Feb 19, 2018 22:18
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Not to get too political, but it is President's Day and I wanna give a shout out to my fave pres, President Dooglar. Dooglar is mostly remembered for installing a water slide from the top of the white house down to the backyard lawn and for his short lived amendment to the Constitution: "To all others, be cool, and everybody in the pool!"
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Feb 19, 2018 23:43
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Disfigured in a North Korean wiffle ball tournament, Tex Loine lost it all: three toes on his left foot, his wife Shirline, and his job as Roving Shitkicker for the CIA. Under pressure from the Russians, the Chinese, and the Wiffle Ball Council, Uncle Sam had packed ole Tex up and sent him airmail to a tiny island in the French Antipodes. There are probably worse places than San Burbano for a newly divorced exile. Perhaps a whale’s rear end in a top hat or a warehouse full of dead cats. Otherwise this was about as low as you can go. There was nothing here but giant clams and unfinished hotels, and both for the same reason: San Burbano was a tropical paradise conveniently located 30 miles east of the world’s fourth largest uranium mine. After six months of clam steak, French beer, and LSD, Tex had had all the relaxing he could handle. He couldn’t dance on the big stage anymore, but he’d either find some action soon or hang himself. Injuries or no he was still quote:Tex Loine, Shitkicker Emeritus |
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Feb 20, 2018 00:24
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 its beuatiful
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Feb 20, 2018 01:40
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A profile in sadness: the cartoon voice actor who can't get roles, because their best voices are all offensive stereotypes.
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Feb 20, 2018 02:08
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Kthulhu5000 posted:A profile in sadness: the cartoon voice actor who can't get roles, because their best voices are all offensive stereotypes. Sadder: this minus the cartoon voice actor part.
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Feb 20, 2018 02:10
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well, i was wrong. not only was today NOT pajama day at work like my new coworkers told me but the boss told me that there's no such thing as pajama day at this company. i was so embarrassed that i forgot to ask if tomorrow is actually cowboy day so i'm gonna get in early tomorrow and keep that costume in the car just in case |
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Feb 20, 2018 05:17
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canyoneer posted:well, i was wrong. not only was today NOT pajama day at work like my new coworkers told me but the boss told me that there's no such thing as pajama day at this company. I'd recommend keeping your regular work clothes in your car too and scoping the scene out naked. Then you can just put on the appropriate attire afterwards so you don't run the risk of wasting time getting dressed, changing out, then redressed again.
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Feb 20, 2018 07:42
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Twenty Four posted:I'd recommend keeping your regular work clothes in your car too and scoping the scene out naked. Also it's better to appear under dressed than over dressed. |
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Feb 20, 2018 08:19
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TVsVeryOwn posted:Also it's better to appear under dressed than over dressed. True! Plus they say "Dress for the job you want, not the one you have" and what if you want to be a stripper?
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Feb 20, 2018 08:26
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sweet beans are made of grease who had a brine to fricassee
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Feb 21, 2018 13:24
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redm posted:sweet beans are made of grease I've eaten more than seven peas |
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Feb 21, 2018 13:30
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Taking a poop so loud that the American in the next couple stalls over compulsively begins to write a national anthem |
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Feb 21, 2018 14:25
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alnilam posted:I've eaten more than seven peas everybodys cookin with charcoal
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Feb 21, 2018 14:47
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albany academy posted:Taking a poop so loud that the American in the next couple stalls over compulsively begins to write a national anthem
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Feb 21, 2018 19:20
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A thread for brainstorming posts in this thread. Like okay, I know I want it to be about dogs, but maybe also weed. Hopefully I can figure out a way to fit my trip to the haunted Dennys. |
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Feb 21, 2018 21:34
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Moons over my high dog. |
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Feb 21, 2018 21:39
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A thread for when you want to brainstorm in the brainstorm thread but can't think of anything yet so yobs can post stuff like "uuuuhhhhh" "uuuummmmm" "what if I.........uhhhh" etc.
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Feb 21, 2018 22:33
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| # ? May 15, 2024 23:54 |
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Koishi Komeiji posted:A thread for when you want to brainstorm in the brainstorm thread but can't think of anything yet so yobs can post stuff like "uuuuhhhhh" "uuuummmmm" "what if I.........uhhhh" etc. the scene where wayne is like "wait a minute! ...no... wait a minute!! ...no... " trying to think of a way to get back cassandra |
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Feb 21, 2018 22:48
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