2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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EBB: Feb 15, 2005

he unfriended you right?

# ? Feb 16, 2018 06:12

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# ? May 11, 2024 09:35

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Try as you might, you can't save everyone.

# ? Feb 16, 2018 06:15

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

I recently saw that news anchor make a statement about how this is a racist country and it resonated pretty strongly. I don�t want to passively enable stuff like this and I feel comfortable in speaking up against it when I see it, especially because I wear the uniform and a hell of a lot of Latin American blood was spilled for Uncle Sam. Dreamers are a complex issue and I�m for stronger immigration control, but I have no tolerance for ignorant motherfuckers who�s entire opinion was formed from their peers and fox and racist overtones are a good way to kill trust between people. I don�t like it and while I serve as an NCO I�m going to call people out on that bullshit. For every one of his buddies that posts there backing him up, someone else is going to read it that doesn�t feel that way and I am unafraid to shame a motherfucker for being a terrible person.

# ? Feb 16, 2018 06:25

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

mlmp08 posted:

This is, in its own way, one of the most Army statements I've read yet.

Please don't take this personally, Mustang.

Here's the account above, in my own biased recounting:
1. Mustang is doing what the guidance says, even though the guidance is not meeting the intent.
2. He is doing this properly and wisely.
3. Everyone he outranks is being stupid and doesn't fix themselves.
4. This leads to disparaging the NCOs, who may well be as worthy of derision as he says (I dunno?)
5. The PL knows better, but isn't confident/strong enough to fix it, so all these enlisted people keep sucking.
6. Ergo, they suck.
7. Little/no improvement results.

8. To give Mustang some cover since it seems like I just poo poo all over him out of nowhere, which isn't my goal: Maybe, as a BN/BDE CDR, don't send the guy you've shat on all the time, who is looking to REFRAD, off to train people and gently caress up his personal time even more than has already been cataloged in this channel.

Some of the best training I've seen, on both the receiving and giving end, has been when someone's just like "welp, you people are so hosed up that I'm just going to tell you how to unfuck yourselves in no uncertain terms, then I'll shut up and see if you actually can figure out a way to put that into motion."
Some of the worst has been someone watching failure for days/weeks/months and then writing up a report of how hosed up the unit was.*

*The latter is still probably valuable if the unit is being evaluated for mission-readiness and isn't just going to be sent on the mission anyway. But that's more common to stuff like de-certifying specific skills like grounding a pilot rather than stopping a BCT from going out the door.

I actually volunteered to do this because when my BDE went through this my OC was a brand new 2LT and didn�t have much to offer. I�ve already been through all the training my sister BDE is going through. I want to get out but I actually enjoy the field training part of the Army. It�s the constant long days in garrison that drive me insane.

I think after a year and a half as a PL I have a pretty good understanding of what to expect from the SGTs and SSGs in a Platoon. The ones in this platoon weren�t pulling their weight, the SFC, 1SG and CPT on my company OC team all agreed with my assessments of their performance.

If the PSG leaves for whatever reason the platoon shouldn�t immediately become lazy and lounge around with their kit off and their weapons out of reach while in a tactical environment with OPFOR dismounts literally within the same grid square.

I started out trying to do it the nice way but when that didn�t work it really pissed me off since I�m spending a month away from home to help these lazy fucks train and get butter.

By the second half of the rotation they started to dread seeing me walk over because it usually meant I was going to start assessing casualties until they decided that doing the right thing was better/easier than constantly doing casevacs or getting yelled at by their 1SG for taking casualties when they weren�t in contact.

The PL would tell his SSGs what he wants them to do and they usually brushed him off whenever the PSG wasn�t around. He was also too timid to talk to his XO to pull grids for adjacent units or check on the maintenance of his vehicles at the CTCP.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 19:52

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

I am shocked to learn that soldiers are lazy.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 20:34

mods changed my name: Oct 30, 2017

Why would you work hard? Doing a good job is punished more than being mediocre. Not going to bust my rear end for some queef LT or whatever it's all so stupid

# ? Feb 17, 2018 20:38

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I am shocked to learn butterbars are timid.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 20:41

not caring here: Feb 22, 2012; blazemastah 2 dry 4 u

mods change my name posted:

Why would you work hard? Doing a good job is punished more than being mediocre. Not going to bust my rear end for some queef LT or whatever it's all so stupid

I've never seen another environment where doing a good job is so routinely punished, and doing a lovely job as long as it's in a pattern is so routinely rewarded.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 20:47

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

mods change my name posted:

Why would you work hard? Doing a good job is punished more than being mediocre. Not going to bust my rear end for some queef LT or whatever it's all so stupid

not caring here posted:

I've never seen another environment where doing a good job is so routinely punished, and doing a lovely job as long as it's in a pattern is so routinely rewarded.

This a million times. I�m in college and people coming up to me and talking about my photos and I�m like �wait, you�re not calling me poo poo?�

gently caress the Army. I just got my official retirement certificate for getting put on the PDRL. It�s like porn for me.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 21:00

Rakekniven: Jun 4, 2000; Forum Veteran

I'm trying to verify the accuracy of a script we're considering producing at my theatre, anyone know I could go about finding records of training accidents at Fort Irwin between 1990 - 1993? Specifically a case of a Bradley accidentally shooting an observer vehicle during a live fire exercise that resulted in a fatality.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 21:21

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

You may have trouble getting the stage to support the weight of a Bradley, FYI.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 21:43

Vahakyla: May 3, 2013

Got some extra tickets to the show, though?

# ? Feb 17, 2018 21:47

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddgsOj09eLI

my youtube feed is filled with remastered bob clamptett and chuck jones military cartoons

its crazy to see how clean it looks now

# ? Feb 18, 2018 09:27

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

I'll admit to watching a bunch this past week. Racist bits aside it's pretty entertaining.

# ? Feb 18, 2018 14:45

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Whoever was responsible for the bus manifest for our BDEs trip back home completely and thoroughly hosed it all up. It�s almost like you would think we have never traveled on busses before.

60% of the people on my busses first manifest were either already gone or at another installation.

# ? Feb 18, 2018 21:21

McNally: Sep 13, 2007; Ask me about Proposition 305

Do you like muskets?

Mustang posted:

Whoever was responsible for the bus manifest for our BDEs trip back home completely and thoroughly hosed it all up. It�s almost like you would think we have never traveled on busses before.

60% of the people on my busses first manifest were either already gone or at another installation.

Right before you commit to getting out of the Army, you're going to go on a blind date that goes really well. You're going to end up knocking her up and marrying her because it's the Right Thing to Do.

That's when you're going to discover that her father is a flag officer and you decide to stay in the Army, because once you're the son-in-law of a general, things will probably get better.

Things won't get better.

One day you're going to find yourself a major doing some battalion staff job you hate with a miserable home life, working late as often as possible to stay away from your wife nagging you for not being as high-speed as her father (who had made lieutenant colonel at a younger age than you, Major Mustang, are currently).

You find yourself back at NTC where you've spent so much time you've genuinely considered buying a house because, gently caress, you're gonna be there anyway. While there some not terribly unattractive SPC catches your eye. Happenstance leads the two of you spending a lot of time together and eventually you have an affair with her.

Word gets out. Your wife leaves you. Your career is in tatters, made worse by the fact that your father-in-law now hates your guts.

But you're too close to retirement to end it now.

# ? Feb 18, 2018 21:43

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

That needs to be saved with shim's AF what if

# ? Feb 18, 2018 21:53

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Never going to happen, not interested in girls with any kind of association with the Army.

I�m pretty good at earning the respect of my subordinates and peers but absolutely awful at the political aspect of the Army and getting �face time� with the higher ups.

My view on leadership is also at odds with the current style prevalent in the senior officers of my BDE.

# ? Feb 18, 2018 21:56

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

rise through the ranks and change the culture

you can do it

# ? Feb 18, 2018 21:57

A Bad Poster: Sep 25, 2006; Seriously, shut the fuck up.

They did our manifest alphabetically. Oh, you've been here for a month an a half already? Sorry, your last name starts with "R", so this guy who's been here for three weeks whose name starts with "C" is leaving today. Also we aren't scheduling busses during the week.

# ? Feb 18, 2018 22:18

Icon Of Sin: Dec 26, 2008

McNally posted:

Right before you commit to getting out of the Army, you're going to go on a blind date that goes really well. You're going to end up knocking her up and marrying her because it's the Right Thing to Do.

That's when you're going to discover that her father is a flag officer and you decide to stay in the Army, because once you're the son-in-law of a general, things will probably get better.

Things won't get better.

One day you're going to find yourself a major doing some battalion staff job you hate with a miserable home life, working late as often as possible to stay away from your wife nagging you for not being as high-speed as her father (who had made lieutenant colonel at a younger age than you, Major Mustang, are currently).

You find yourself back at NTC where you've spent so much time you've genuinely considered buying a house because, gently caress, you're gonna be there anyway. While there some not terribly unattractive SPC catches your eye. Happenstance leads the two of you spending a lot of time together and eventually you have an affair with her.

Word gets out. Your wife leaves you. Your career is in tatters, made worse by the fact that your father-in-law now hates your guts.

But you're too close to retirement to end it now.

Quoting this so the wisdom won't be lost :stare:

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

That needs to be saved with shim's AF what if

I can't find it, otherwise I'd quote it here too to start off dontyoufuckingjoin.txt

# ? Feb 18, 2018 22:39

Naked Bear: Apr 15, 2007; Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

shim posted:

Go ask the career development folks at the MPF. Also pimp the TMO folks and ask them.

The final answer comes from one of those two sources. And in the end you have a 50/50 chance of being told the wrong thing anyway.

But you asked for thoughts, and after smoking a bowl and contemplating things, I had a thought I'd like to share with you.

Have you considered not marrying your fiancee?

I can count on one finger the number of guys that were USAF intel officers that I wouldn't line up outside the gas chambers if the fourth reich became a thing.

A few years from now, when you can't even stand to look at him without feeling a sense of extreme hatred and disappointment simultaneous to realizing that at 28 years old you spend 50% of your day thinking about becoming a divorcee, remember this advice: Run the gently caress away now.

Seriously, there is a 100% chance your fiancee is a tool and a loving nitwit. There is a 100% chance that he will be peer pressured into becoming a distilled version of fighter pilot gay bro'ness not by dudes that fly fighter jets, but other sperged out intel retard officers. He's going to start saying things like "Check, Rodge, Vector, Burner" and other associated lame as gently caress things, while also sometimes randomly wearing a flightsuit to work on Fridays despite his only flight time being the fam flight he poo poo his pants or puked his guts up during.

Also he's going to cheat on you. Oh man is he going to cheat on you. And there is a not too bad chance that it won't be with some good looking gal, but rather some dumb bitch enlisted intel girl that almost got a degree in psychology from her podunk state school before she decided she hated the taste of gargling frat sperm and dropped out and joined up to get a chance at being the hottest little twat in a windowless SCIF in Japan.

But don't worry about that breaking your heart, he'll never tell you. You'll be too busy caring for the 3-4 kids he demands you squeeze out in repayment to the base model BMW 3 series he's going to buy you when he gets to his second assignment at Tinker AFB.

When he's not deep dicking some borderline inbred dipshit Airman who's a civilian 5 and intel 12, he'll be lording over you how his job and career come first, and pray he doesn't make more money than you because that'll come up everytime you sigh audibly at the dinner table where you two will passive aggressively try to grind down each others will to live and breathe.

By this point as a captain he's going to be TDY 1-2 months a year, where he's getting half assed hand jobs from third tier strippers on excursions with the least socially inept enlisted guys in his flight-- this is probably the point where his raging alcoholism will be so clear and obvious to you that you two will start fighting every saturday before kick off when his colleges football team inevitably will take a beating. This fight won't stop until his next TDY when the sweet release of his toothless stripper infidelities and lack of home presence gives you time to bust out your big giant purple *BZZZZZ* friend whenever those walking talking pants making GBS threads machines you call children fall asleep long enough to let you deaden the nerves in your clitoris.

Soon after he'll take his third assignment, the one right before he pins on Major, and suddenly he'll be pressuring you into becoming a fundamentalist christian, and he'll delete all of his whores off of his facebook account and spend his home time posting image macros about 2nd amendment rights, and how jesus spoke english in the bible so these loving mexicans should too. At this point you two will be consigned to bi-annual loving, and only when you've drank enough cheap boxed wind to be able to stand the idea of him pounding away on you missionary style but still refusing to look you in the eyes.

This will also be the point when your oldest childs ADHD and pyromania are diagnosed, and one of your parents die. There is around a 85% chance one of you is going to be eating zoloft and klonopin out of loving pez dispensers, and waking up angry that the sweet release of death hasn't taken one of you out of this loveless hosed up marriage.

Somewhere in here the idea of swinging is going to come up casually as an almost joke when you are both in the blissful release of a nice drunken buzz, and one of you will actually be very open and interested in the idea. The other is going to wind up being an unhappy accomplice wondering why your partner wants to gently caress almost chubby guys with spray on tans, or watch the sacred hole through which your children came into this world be filled with all manner of different ethnicities of cock.

I'm late to bring this up, but sooner rather than later you're also going to screen positive for HPV, and your intel officer husband is going to take every bit of research skills he has from his job to convince you that you got it from donating blood or sitting on a toilet seat.

You didn't get it from the Red Cross or a trip to the shitter.

As it stands now though, you can walk the gently caress away and enjoy a life that I'm pretty sure would be better than the above. And you'll never have to see the inside of an officers wives meeting which is a lovecraftian hell that makes my description of your future seem like Charlie's trip through the chocolate factory.

# ? Feb 18, 2018 23:46

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

its curtains for Kevin posted:

It�s gonna be rough when whites aren�t the majority in 2040. I wish I could counsel him for being such a lovely person

The U.S. is about 80% white people. It's going to be a lot more than 20 years to get that number down below 50%.

Unless you know something I don't know.......

# ? Feb 19, 2018 01:08

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

spacetoaster posted:

The U.S. is about 80% white people. It's going to be a lot more than 20 years to get that number down below 50%.

Unless you know something I don't know.......

There are significant demographic differences between white Hispanic and white Caucasian, though.

# ? Feb 19, 2018 01:11

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

mlmp08 posted:

There are significant demographic differences between white Hispanic and white Caucasian, though.

Yeah, the breakdown of people into "white minorities" seems to be where the projections are coming from.

It's just weird when people tout it like it's some kind of racial gotcha game they're playing.

# ? Feb 19, 2018 01:15

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

I'll admit to watching a bunch this past week. Racist bits aside it's pretty entertaining.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdMlqq-vL5A

# ? Feb 19, 2018 01:55

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Soldiers, dumbest loving people on the planet

# ? Feb 19, 2018 13:50

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

If you at any point didn't think that you were hand picked for the job based on being such a great example of how to be a dumb loving person for other, lesser groups of dumb loving people then lmbo

# ? Feb 19, 2018 15:26

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

Everyone else usually just shams out of actually being super loving gay. You actually went to school and took a lot of contrived tests for the privilege of saying that you were so good at being gay that you ought to be in charge of other men who wanted to be loving gay in order for them to have a role model show them how being loving gay ought to go

# ? Feb 19, 2018 15:28

its curtains for Kevin: Nov 14, 2011; Fruit is proof that the gods exist and love us.

Just kidding!

Life is meaningless

uh, sir

# ? Feb 19, 2018 15:28

Flying_Crab: Apr 12, 2002

Mustang posted:

Soldiers, dumbest loving people on the planet

Story time. :allears:

# ? Feb 19, 2018 15:29

Carteret: Nov 10, 2012

Mustang posted:

Soldiers, dumbest loving people on the planet

We've been waiting for this moment for YEARS

# ? Feb 19, 2018 17:55

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Does he have the involuntary eye roll when people mention the highly skilled, professional soldiers in our military yet?

# ? Feb 19, 2018 18:04

Mustang: Jun 18, 2006; “We don’t really know where this goes — and I’m not sure we really care.”

Nothing crazy, just lots of small stupid poo poo after BDE and division loving up the bus manifest, topped off by a PVT that thought putting his taco bell cup of mountain dew under his seat wouldn't spill on a 1000 mile bus ride so that my assault pack under my seat got soaked. I just wanted to grab him by the collar and shake him while yelling "what the gently caress did you think was going to happen???"

and then getting back and finding out there's a good chance I'm going to become either the S4 or the S1 because making the jaded, bitter guy that wants out of the Army a staff primary is a great idea

# ? Feb 19, 2018 20:34

Soulex: Apr 1, 2009; Cacati in mano e pigliati a schiaffi!

Why didn�t you do that?

# ? Feb 19, 2018 20:39

Slim Pickens: Jan 12, 2007; Grimey Drawer

That's what you get for trying to act like a good leader instead of hanging out with idiots from a dead gay forum

# ? Feb 19, 2018 21:06

all apologies: May 13, 2008; woah

hey im still generally miserable like i was active but im high too so its better

# ? Feb 19, 2018 21:09

Queen_Combat: Jan 15, 2011

Mustang posted:

Nothing crazy, just lots of small stupid poo poo after BDE and division loving up the bus manifest, topped off by a PVT that thought putting his taco bell cup of mountain dew under his seat wouldn't spill on a 1000 mile bus ride so that my assault pack under my seat got soaked. I just wanted to grab him by the collar and shake him while yelling "what the gently caress did you think was going to happen???"

and then getting back and finding out there's a good chance I'm going to become either the S4 or the S1 because making the jaded, bitter guy that wants out of the Army a staff primary is a great idea

# ? Feb 19, 2018 21:16

Vasudus: May 30, 2003

the worst thing you can do is appear competent and get sent to staff, because you will be the one person sent there that isn't a total fuckup, under the assumption that if at least one person isn't a total idiot then everything will be fine

staff is full of people that are sentenced there, either because they were very good at their jobs or very bad, with little inbetween

have fun

# ? Feb 19, 2018 21:16

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# ? May 11, 2024 09:35

Dream Weaver: Jan 23, 2007; Sweat Baby, sweat baby

Vasudus posted:

the worst thing you can do is appear competent and get sent to staff, because you will be the one person sent there that isn't a total fuckup, under the assumption that if at least one person isn't a total idiot then everything will be fine

staff is full of people that are sentenced there, either because they were very good at their jobs or very bad, with little inbetween

have fun

I�m the S4 OIC and I�m going on two years here and I hate that they know I�m competent, but I also have been trying to get sent down to become a team chief for a few months.

# ? Feb 21, 2018 02:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > 2019-2023 Marine Thread: Maybe the 2017 Army thread with a new coat of paint

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