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both my parents were super great and especially my dad. all the men i know my age have problems with their fathers -- "we've never shared any interests my whole life," "i still have to call him sir," "he constantly tells me i'm fat and poor and always reminds me he's the big man," etc and i'm always like -- well i have no concept of that at all. my dad was extraordinarily selfless and caring and friendly. i assume that's why both my parents died young  can't have too much goodness in the world
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Feb 22, 2018 02:08
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i have been extremely lucky in many ways for a lot of my life so i guess i should probably pay that forward somehow someday
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Feb 22, 2018 02:17
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Sagebrush posted:both my parents were super great and especially my dad. all the men i know my age have problems with their fathers -- "we've never shared any interests my whole life," "i still have to call him sir," "he constantly tells me i'm fat and poor and always reminds me he's the big man," etc and i'm always like -- well i have no concept of that at all. my dad was extraordinarily selfless and caring and friendly. great, thanks
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Feb 22, 2018 06:54
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graph posted:great, thanks Lol.
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Feb 22, 2018 07:07
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love too brag about my cool dead parents
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Feb 22, 2018 07:09
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Sagebrush posted:both my parents were super great and especially my dad. all the men i know my age have problems with their fathers -- "we've never shared any interests my whole life," "i still have to call him sir," "he constantly tells me i'm fat and poor and always reminds me he's the big man," etc and i'm always like -- well i have no concept of that at all. my dad was extraordinarily selfless and caring and friendly. that's pretty cool but fyi the thread was currently in the throes of supporting those with lovely parents you didn't even leave a cute video to make up for the fact that you have nothing to add to the discussion
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Feb 22, 2018 07:15
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what I'm saying is get out
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Feb 22, 2018 07:16
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Sagebrush, I'm gonna be serious for a second before you get piled on: I like you, but you come off as the poster child for "well meaning but misguided". I think you really want to be an ally and it leads to you trying to join conversations that you don't have the relevant experience to contribute to. It's great that you want to help, and it's really good the changes you've made to your classroom environment to support queer students, but the most important skill you can learn as an ally is to just listen to the discussion and not poke in. When people talk about their issues, just listen and be supportive, but don't stick your experiences in because it's going to come off like you are either condescending or not getting it. It's OK to be part of conversations, but you need to, at least for now, take 30 seconds before you hit Post to consider context and whether what you're saying is actually a positive contribution at that juncture. I'm posting this in public instead of a PM because this is something that goes for all allies itt and it's worth reminding people.
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Feb 22, 2018 07:20
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Dessert Rose posted:what I'm saying is get out I'm hoping that won't be necessary. He is a nice guy and he's genuinely trying to learn, but he definitely needs to get better at knowing when is a good time to speak vs listen
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Feb 22, 2018 07:21
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I have absolutely no justification to be in this thread and in fact never clicked on it before 20 minutes ago, and was about to just unload both barrels of the 290 gauge shotty on a massive Sagebrush drag, but after reading that very thoughtful post, you know what, i want to respect the thread so i'll just come in say hello and i love you all and i hope you have a wonderful evening.
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Feb 22, 2018 07:23
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cis autodrag posted:Sagebrush, I'm gonna be serious for a second before you get piled on: in his defense i think he was just following on my post, i kinda started the whole "i don't have parent problems, goodbye" thing but my post was at the end of the last page and he didn't quote it so it just kinda looks like we started a fresh new page with that outta nowhere
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Feb 22, 2018 07:39
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ate all the Oreos posted:in his defense i think he was just following on my post, i kinda started the whole "i don't have parent problems, goodbye" thing but my post was at the end of the last page and he didn't quote it so it just kinda looks like we started a fresh new page with that outta nowhere I guess the difference is that you're queer, which is a distinction that can be hard for people to understand in this context. I just don't want this thread to devolve into a TB style mess of callouts and demands for people to leave. I'd rather that be reserved for people posting in bad faith rather than just people who are trying but bumbling. Not out of any desire to win converts with civility, but just out of the fact that it's really boring to read a big pile of people yelling in short sentences. If someone says something dumb, just pm them or if someone has replied leave it. If they're being a jerk on purpose or just won't learn then just report the post and pm a mod.
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Feb 22, 2018 08:10
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sorry. this is a really fascinating thread for me to read and learn about, which is why i keep doing so, and i do keep forgetting my place in it. every other thread in yospos turns into general chat on a regular basis so it's an automatic response to  which i should check in this case. apologies for doing that.well-meaning but misguided probably is accurate. i appreciate the guidance i am receiving because my goal is to be a better, more understanding person, and trans issues don't come up at all in my day-to-day otherwise. i've learned more on the topic from this thread than in the entire rest of my life. Sagebrush fucked around with this message at 08:44 on Feb 22, 2018 |
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Feb 22, 2018 08:41
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doesnt apply globally afaict, you have to be given permission
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Feb 22, 2018 14:09
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Question I have kicking around my head: anyone know of clothing lines marketed specifically towards trans and non-binary people? On one side I'm asking because dress shopping for me sucks, but I'm also moving a bit towards fashion work and seeing how other people are doing it would be really helpful
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Feb 22, 2018 15:43
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keyboard vomit posted:Question I have kicking around my head: anyone know of clothing lines marketed specifically towards trans and non-binary people? I haven't seen any trans specific clothing lines, but bluestockings is an lgbt lingerie store, and Origami Customs is an lgbt friendly underwear shop that makes hella comfy panties. What's making dress shopping hard? I'm both tall and wide so I may be able to offer some tips 
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Feb 22, 2018 17:09
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cis autodrag posted:I haven't seen any trans specific clothing lines, but bluestockings is an lgbt lingerie store, and Origami Customs is an lgbt friendly underwear shop that makes hella comfy panties. Part of it is that it's frustrating when looking online and always seeing women, whereas I'm AMAB and don't have any plans at the moment to do HRT, so I always feel weird about my own body and not seeing things marketed as built towards it. Plus construction things to fit around breasts that won't work when I don't have them. It's also that I'm a fabric nerd and shopping online doesn't let me get a feel for the material.
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Feb 22, 2018 18:31
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Sagebrush posted:sorry. this is a really fascinating thread for me to read and learn about, which is why i keep doing so, and i do keep forgetting my place in it. every other thread in yospos turns into general chat on a regular basis so it's an automatic response to PSA: if you (or anyone else really) wants to ask stuff you're not sure of, or which might be "well-meaning but misguided", i'd be more than happy to talk about whatever with ya, i can deal with that real well and am generally good at explainin' stuff. shoot me a PM or let me know if you don't have PM's and I can arrange somethin' else 
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Feb 22, 2018 18:46
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Booked my butt aug dates. By summer I will have a huge jiggly butt.
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Feb 23, 2018 22:42
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cis autodrag posted:Booked my butt aug dates. By summer I will have a huge jiggly butt. Jigglybutt was always a fun pokemon.
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Feb 23, 2018 22:47
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sometimes i wonder if i shoulda gotten more work done but then i remember that most of what's in my way re: looks is that i really really really really really really really really really badly need to lose weight
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Feb 23, 2018 22:48
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Pollyanna posted:sometimes i wonder if i shoulda gotten more work done but then i remember that most of what's in my way re: looks is that i really really really really really really really really really badly need to lose weight It's different for everyone. If your mental image is just "me but more fit" then yeah weight loss will do it for you. If you're like me and your mental image is a bigger girl, that's when the surgical help comes in. There's no diet and exercise regimen in the world that's gonna fix years of testosterone driven fat placement
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Feb 23, 2018 23:22
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cis autodrag posted:testosterone speaking of, i wonder if my levels are still hosed up it's always been kind of weird to hear people who had t levels of like 800+ before hrt, or slowly getting it down to 350 or so after a year or two
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Feb 23, 2018 23:26
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Zamujasa posted:speaking of, i wonder if my levels are still hosed up What units are you using? My t levels are 8 ng/dL. Max female range is like 30 ng/dL. If you're higher than that you need to up your Spiro. Unless you're using some kind of moon units.
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Feb 23, 2018 23:44
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quote:TESTOSTERONE, TOTAL, MALES (ADULT), IA it was apparently bad enough that when i saw an endo proper they straight up asked me if i'd had some sort of injury (none that i know of other than posting in yospos) i'm actually supposed to be on T proper, but even 3 years ago i was having some trans questions and just... didnt ever take it, welp.
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Feb 23, 2018 23:48
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Zamujasa posted:it was < 125 three years ago. i'm not actually on any meds, just. yeah. Gotcha. Yeah it's kinda crazy how big a difference there are between male and female levels. Most other blood markers don't have the sort of divergence testosterone does.
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Feb 24, 2018 00:34
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12 t baby
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Feb 24, 2018 04:06
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the magic of orchis
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Feb 24, 2018 04:06
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cis autodrag posted:Booked my butt aug dates. By summer I will have a huge jiggly butt. Nice!
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Feb 26, 2018 11:03
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cis autodrag posted:It's different for everyone. If your mental image is just "me but more fit" then yeah weight loss will do it for you. If you're like me and your mental image is a bigger girl, that's when the surgical help comes in. There's no diet and exercise regimen in the world that's gonna fix years of testosterone driven fat placement This hit me in a weird way. I don’t have a mental image of myself. At all. Well, vague "tall" and "heavy", but that’s it for a current mental image. 
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Feb 26, 2018 20:43
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my mental self image is one of those magnetic beard toys
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Feb 26, 2018 21:10
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Avenging_Mikon posted:This hit me in a weird way. I don’t have a mental image of myself. At all. Well, vague "tall" and "heavy", but that’s it for a current mental image. Same, it's hard for me to see myself as anything other than who I am right now, and largely I don't really care what I look like body wise? Face and hair are the big things for me
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Feb 26, 2018 21:13
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Avenging_Mikon posted:This hit me in a weird way. I don’t have a mental image of myself. At all. Well, vague "tall" and "heavy", but that’s it for a current mental image. pretty much the same about the only parts of me that i think about are the parts i hate (male gut, facial hair) i get honestly surprised on the rare occasion i get a compliment about hair or something (oh right, that exists?!)
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Feb 26, 2018 21:17
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UberJew posted:pretty much the same about the only parts of me that i think about are the parts i hate (male gut, facial hair) These last few posts say to me not that you guys don't have a mental self image, just that you have a negative one. You can only envision yourself in terms of what you dislike. One of the big things that helped me move past dysphoria being a thing that keeps me from engaging with life was to form a positive, aspirational self image. To envision "who I am" in my mind and work toward actualizing that image through exercise, medicine, surgery, fashion, etc. Even though my ultimate mental picture of myself may never be attainable, the pursuit of it becomes a positive and constructive force in my life, rather than the funk I was in at the beginning of my transition where I just obsessed in everything that made me miserable abut myself. It's trite, but self esteem can only come from within and if you don't set your own standard and pursue it, you're going to be stuck judging (and hating) yourself by everyone else's standard instead.
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Feb 26, 2018 21:41
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Improbable Lobster posted:my mental self image is one of those magnetic beard toys do beards not just play with the same toys everyone else does?
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Feb 26, 2018 21:47
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Well part of my problem is that I also don't have a mind's eye and can't imagine things visually so my aspirational goals are vague descriptions, while my negative self is what i see in the mirror
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Feb 26, 2018 21:47
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UberJew posted:Well part of my problem is that I also don't have a mind's eye and can't imagine things visually Oh, I've heard of that. Yeah, it's gonna be hard to form aspirational goals if you literally can't think visually. Maybe you could form around how you want to "feel" physically and emotionally? After all, how you look is only part of what changes when you transition? The major thing is to make sure that your transition is running toward something you want rather than away from something you hate, because you're never gonna feel like you've run far enough away, but it's uplifting to feel yourself moving toward a goal.
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Feb 26, 2018 21:58
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cis autodrag posted:It's different for everyone. If your mental image is just "me but more fit" then yeah weight loss will do it for you. If you're like me and your mental image is a bigger girl, that's when the surgical help comes in. There's no diet and exercise regimen in the world that's gonna fix years of testosterone driven fat placement Its really ridiculous how much just removing my torso fat helped my mental state. Just being able to look in a mirror and see a feminine waist? Thats pretty great. 
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Feb 26, 2018 22:05
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Synthbuttrange posted:Its really ridiculous how much just removing my torso fat helped my mental state. Just being able to look in a mirror and see a feminine waist? Thats pretty great. Hell yeah!
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Feb 26, 2018 22:13
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Synthbuttrange posted:Its really ridiculous how much just removing my torso fat helped my mental state. Just being able to look in a mirror and see a feminine waist? Thats pretty great. yeah i am going to bug my new doctor (since the old one left and didn't bother to tell me haha, but at least its the one doctor with any experience with trans issues that i got transferred to) because i don't hate that im fat so much as i hate it being right the gently caress there
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Feb 26, 2018 22:35
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