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We made our own playlist and plugged it into the sound system. That’s the one thing I’m really glad we did, was not having a DJ. It’s all the music you like without someone making DJ announcements “now we are going to pump it up!” Etc.
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Jan 29, 2018 19:53
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Bacon Terrorist posted:We are getting married abroad and having a party when we return. Our venue has a sound system, so the dilemma is do we make up a huge party playlist and plug an iPod in or do we pay a DJ £300 for the pleasure? There are pros and cons to both. A good DJ can read the room and change the playlist on the fly to go with whatever types of music gets the most people excited. A bad DJ isn’t any better than an iPod in that regard. The wedding I was at a few weeks ago had a horrible DJ who cut off Rasputin in the middle as people were dancing to it, into a song I don’t remember that literally cleared the dance floor, and let the whole song play. Later he went from Ed Sheeran directly to Tupac.  If you do go the iPod route, there are resources online that help you curate a playlist, as well as programs that will fade from one song to the next instead of awkward silences between songs. I suggest listening to the whole thing (broken up over a few sittings) to make sure it sounds ok. I also recommend assigning someone else to be in charge of the iPod in case you decide songs need to be skipped or whatever throughout the night so that you aren’t busy with it during your own party. But make sure they know how to use whatever program you are using to play from. My friends did their own and the groom spent the first half hour of the reception trying to figure out why the transitions between songs weren’t working, couldn’t get it, and the rest of the night was their playlist but with the beginnings and ending 10 seconds of each song just being cut off. Also keep in mind that you might want certain songs played at certain times separately from a party playlist, like if you’re doing an entrance, first dance, father/daughter etc. If you’re having any sort of dinner or cocktail hour you’ll want a separate playlist of background music for that too.
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Jan 29, 2018 19:56
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I can't even imagine trying to work the music at my own wedding. I had way too much other poo poo to worry about. The DJ we had was amazing and worth every penny. I gave him a general playlist beforehand for entrance music, seating, ceremony, reception, first dance, cake, etc, then a list of stuff that I want played during the reception. He based the rest of the playlist off that. We even had a bunch of people request songs, and if he didn't have them, he bought them online on the spot. At one point, he played a lovely song, so we made eye contact, I gave him a "this song sucks balls" look and and he quickly transitioned to another song seamlessly. He was also really really good on the mic as MC trying to keep everything progressing on time. Dude was worth every penny. Plus, he had a great English accent. I see both sides, but if you aren't trying to pinch pennies and get away with the cheapest wedding possible, a good DJ is amazing to have. Henrik Zetterberg fucked around with this message at 21:06 on Jan 29, 2018 |
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Jan 29, 2018 21:01
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Thanks for the feedback, I don’t mind paying for a decent DJ but I’m afraid we will end up paying out for a poo poo one. I would like to go the iPod route but I think my fiancée feels we will miss out without a DJ.
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Jan 29, 2018 21:03
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Koivunen posted:We made our own playlist and plugged it into the sound system. That’s the one thing I’m really glad we did, was not having a DJ. It’s all the music you like without someone making DJ announcements “now we are going to pump it up!” Etc. I got a DJ who i gave a pretty extensive playlist to (hours and hours and hours longer than we could fit in a reception) and he did a great job of playing to the room from within his guidelines and didn't "pump it up" at any point. Was very happy with it, "shuffle" can't read the room, and if you try to curate the playlist to have a flow its not really the same. Best of both worlds.
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Jan 29, 2018 21:16
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Wedding DJ chiming in here. Basically what everyone above said. I'm anti-cheese and don't talk on the mic once dancing starts unless I have to. The MCing is a big part of it, I feel, and keeping things moving along while coordinating various vendors and people for the day (photography/videography, food service, speeches and toasts, etc). Music management, too, as I can read the room and curate the playlist in response to what everyone is responding to, filtering out crap requests, transitioning appropriately, etc. Also I bring a poo poo load of gear including lights, speakers, wireless microphones, etc.
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Jan 29, 2018 21:56
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I feel like I need to make a better case for not hiring a DJ (no offense anyone). Every wedding I've been to that had a DJ ended up having weird things happen. One wedding, the DJ was super bad, and when I requested a song, he claimed to have never heard of it before. Turns out it was the song they were using for the dollar dance. He could have just said that but he had to be awkward about it. Another wedding, the DJ said things like "pump it up" and "slow things down," and didn't fit the crowd at all. At yet another wedding, the lights were so poorly done, it didn't sync with the music, and they used the strobe light probably half the time. That gives you a mighty headache when you've had a bunch of champagne. Nobody is going to care if there is a few seconds of silence between songs. We used my iPod from like 2004, and I had the playlist backed up on my phone in case anything happened. We timed our music to stuff we were going to do for the reception. We started the playlist with the first dance, and a few songs later, we had a very long song to cover the cake cutting. After that, we had three dance songs with one slow song in between. When our music ran out, other people plugged their phones into the sound system and played whatever they wanted. It was really fun.
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Jan 30, 2018 05:04
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Koivunen posted:When our music ran out, other people plugged their phones into the sound system and played whatever they wanted. It was really fun. This is what I did after the reception "ended" and then we just had music going on my own system until 2 or 3. Those examples are all just reasons not to hire a bad dj.
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Jan 30, 2018 05:07
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Nephzinho posted:Those examples are all just reasons not to hire a bad dj. Definitely, but nobody is setting out to hire a bad DJ. That's true with any vendor - sometimes it's tough to know for sure whether they're good or bad until after the fact!
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Jan 30, 2018 18:29
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Koivunen posted:When our music ran out, other people plugged their phones into the sound system and played whatever they wanted. It was really fun. I would hate this. Last thing I need is a line forming at the audio hookup for people to put on their favorite song when most of those people have no clue what a good dance song is or what's even appropriate (I'm about 100% certain someone would have played "show me your genitals" at ours given the chance)
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Jan 31, 2018 02:02
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That is something that will invariably happen in any iPod-dock scenario. Plus the buzzing and popping and god forbid it actually toasts the sound setup when hot swapping devices. I do my very best to meet with my clients before booking to just make sure our personalities mesh. I'm all for no-cheese (where possible) and no talking once we're into dancing. Some people really like the interactive DJ who has props and whips up the crowd with banter, though, so interviewing them ahead of time is best.
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Jan 31, 2018 02:58
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So, I got a nasty-gram from my husband's aunt yesterday. We got married in September, and haven't sent out gratitudes yet. My bad, I know. But she facebook messages me out of the blue yesterday, and asks if we received her letter, then follows up with "I checked my bank account, I guess you did." I apologised that we hadn't sent Thanks out yet, and she snidely replied, "No apologies, just thanks." So now I really want to tell her to go gently caress herself, because I'm not going to be lectured on manners by the same bitch who RSVPed for herself and 2 kids, didn't show for the wedding, and couldn't be hosed to reach out since then anyway. I'm not going to, of course. But. Grrr.
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Feb 1, 2018 04:32
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Bacon Terrorist posted:We are getting married abroad and having a party when we return. Our venue has a sound system, so the dilemma is do we make up a huge party playlist and plug an iPod in or do we pay a DJ £300 for the pleasure? I’d send an email to your partygoers, ask them to send back their fave tunes to dance to and do the iPod route. Worked great at my wedding! 
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Feb 3, 2018 22:20
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Bacon Terrorist posted:We are getting married abroad and having a party when we return. Our venue has a sound system, so the dilemma is do we make up a huge party playlist and plug an iPod in or do we pay a DJ £300 for the pleasure? I would go the DJ route; honestly shop around and pay attention to reviews.
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Feb 5, 2018 02:30
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Finally put down the deposit for our venue. Fall of 2019 here we come! I'm honestly shocked at how much this costs. I mostly stayed out of it and let my fiancee do the research, which was fine by her. Only learned pretty recently that when she said that the venue includes a caterer, she didn't mean that it was included in the 10k venue fee. Still trying to get over it.
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Feb 7, 2018 20:41
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Baronash posted:Finally put down the deposit for our venue. Fall of 2019 here we come! Where are you getting married?
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Feb 7, 2018 21:23
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19 o'clock posted:Where are you getting married? A woodsy venue in Illinois. It'll be nice, especially since there will be a lodge for the wedding party to stay in over the weekend, but we're definitely paying for the convenience.
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Feb 7, 2018 21:56
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That makes sense - namely the lodging and food being part of the package. For a second there you were hitting Colorado Rockies pricing so I was curious what the story was. That said? Congrats! Alcohol + friends + food + family and you should have a celebration under way!
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Feb 8, 2018 02:07
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Serious question: how do people without parents to help afford weddings? I’m pricing things out, thinking I’m being frugal, and it’s like $20k. Any tips?
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Feb 20, 2018 01:27
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Set a budget and then save 20% more than that. I saved for two years and was able to just make it raiding the cash gifts for the last few bills.
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Feb 20, 2018 01:38
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Yeah, we saved for a couple years, put some on credit cards, used all the gift money, and then still ended up declaring bankruptcy (along with many factors other than the wedding) less than a year later.
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Feb 20, 2018 02:26
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We have 7 months, so it’s not enough time if I break it up to save. I guess we could use the gift money to pay things off afterward. The only problem is, you can’t really ask for money. 
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Feb 20, 2018 10:15
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Unless you're East Asian, then it happens without asking!
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Feb 20, 2018 12:59
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silvergoose posted:Unless you're East Asian, then it happens without asking! His family is. We aren’t going to have a wedding registry and were thinking of just doing one of those honeymoon fund sites. Maybe that may help in terms of monetary gifts?
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Feb 20, 2018 13:53
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:His family is. Yeah that should help, and his family may well help after the fact too. Is a lower budget acceptable to you/him/family? i.e. catering from a bbq place, low cost venue, fewer people invited...
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Feb 20, 2018 14:45
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Yeah you're going to need to provide more info on what your absolute requirements are because there's a ton of space in between "go to the courthouse then dinner with your family" and "$20,000"
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Feb 20, 2018 15:17
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We did a lot of DIY stuff and had help from friends. Invites were from Shutterfly and our RSVP only had my phone number and email. I hand made our programs. A friend made our cake and a couple sheet cakes for $100. Another friend is big into gardening and made our bouquets and supplied flowers for the centerpieces for free. I made the centerpieces myself and spent about $20 on supplies. We borrowed chair covers from another friend. We had our ceremony at a local park and the reception at a place that included the catering and was affordable. We hooked up my ipod to the speaker system instead of hiring a DJ. Our photographer was a friend who has a photography business and she charged us $300. I told the wedding dress places that my budget was $600 so they showed me the less expensive dresses (ended up paying $900). Tux rental was a few hundred. The only help we got from parents was my mom paid for my hair and makeup, and my husband’s parents bought a keg. Total cost came out to be a little over $5k, which we had in our savings account. A friend had a wedding at a public beach house and had a taco bar and a keg. Flowers were from the grocery store and she wore a nice white dress that she got at the mall. I don’t think they paid more than a grand for everything and it was a fun, intimate wedding. Another friend had like a five minute ceremony in the lobby of a public building (free), wore non-traditional clothes, and we went out to lunch after. You don’t have to have everything professionally done. If you’ve got friends with talent, ask them for help. If you know someone who recently got married, see if you could borrow their centerpieces or decorations. Look on the internet for people selling their wedding stuff. DIY can save you a ton of money. Koivunen fucked around with this message at 15:27 on Feb 20, 2018 |
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Feb 20, 2018 15:21
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:Serious question: how do people without parents to help afford weddings? I’m pricing things out, thinking I’m being frugal, and it’s like $20k. Any tips? Have a smaller wedding with fewer guests. e: or do it in the middle of the week, or do it on a sunday, or do a breakfast or lunch reception (this is actually a more traditional option), don't serve alcohol, etc. Don't go into debt for your wedding. Mortabis fucked around with this message at 17:26 on Feb 20, 2018 |
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Feb 20, 2018 17:19
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It’s on a Sunday out of state because Boston prices are a joke. 80 people. Caterer, photographer, wine/beer bar. I think that’s it. I don’t care about an expensive dress, decorations, a band (we’ll use an iPod or something). It will be on a Sunday which will save us money. Ideally catering would be BBQ or something. I’m not a fancy person. I’ve also thought about cooking food a week ahead or something and freezing it, as our venue has a full kitchen. But then I’d have to buy or rent plates and stuff. So I’m not sure. The one caterer that got back to me with a quote quoted me like $10k which is a huge NO. That’s where I got the $20k figure from. I honestly tried to convince my partner to elope but he wants to do a family thing, which I respect. We’re just going to have to figure out some financial stuff.
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Feb 20, 2018 19:47
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We're doing ours at a hotel in Virginia and while prices here are certainly lower than in Boston, we are paying about $10k for catering for 100 guests and a beer/wine bar and that's after tax with all of the hotel's expenses built in (venue, chairs/plates/silverware/tables/whatever, decorations, etc.) So yeah I think you're getting screwed if the caterer says $10k for 80 and beer/wine.
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Feb 20, 2018 19:51
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Mortabis posted:We're doing ours at a hotel in Virginia and while prices here are certainly lower than in Boston, we are paying about $10k for catering for 100 guests and a beer/wine bar and that's after tax with all of the hotel's expenses built in (venue, chairs/plates/silverware/tables/whatever, decorations, etc.) Actually, the beer and wine isn’t included in that price! I did find a bbq caterer that looks like it would be about $2k. I can deal with that.
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Feb 20, 2018 20:02
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:The one caterer that got back to me with a quote quoted me like $10k which is a huge NO. That’s where I got the $20k figure from. JFC that's like $125 per plate. That's super unreasonable unless there's some michelin star chef preparing it for you. I helped out at a wedding where the couple prepared their own food beforehand, and myself and a few friends "catered" the wedding by getting the food ready and keeping the food tables stocked throughout the reception. It literally took all morning just to manage getting the food ready and set up. If you decide to go this route, you will have to have people help (preferably people not super close to you so they don't miss out on the whole wedding). It's definitely doable but it's a task that needs to be delegated to other people - you won't have time to do it yourself. $2k for catering isn't bad, and you won't have to worry about prep or clean-up. There's always pizza.
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Feb 21, 2018 01:06
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Koivunen posted:JFC that's like $125 per plate. That's super unreasonable unless there's some michelin star chef preparing it for you. Thank you for this info! There’s a lot to think about if I was to cater my own wedding. I like the idea, but I’m not 100% sure it’s feasible. I at least got another quote that wasn’t too bad.
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Feb 21, 2018 01:20
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Please please please do not cater your own wedding. Even from a food safety point of view it is EXTREMELY difficult. (Cooling things and heating things rapidly enough to avoid food poisoning is harder when you are doing up huge trays of food.) You do not have the equipment or experience to do this unless you are a professional chef working in a production kitchen using their equipment for free. I did Thanksgiving every year for about 30 people, cooking the days leading up to it and cooking all day the day of. That's with help, and with other people bringing dishes. That's just 30. Go try to cater for 30 as a trial run, then multiply that effort and time and cost and exhaustion (so much exhaustion) by 2.5, and then get a caterer. I'm on mobile so I can't find the article I like to reference about a woman who catered her brother(?)'s wedding, but she didn't go to the party. At all. She worked the wedding and was not a guest. Don't cater your own wedding unless you have fewer than 20 guests.
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Feb 21, 2018 14:56
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Thanks for the info. The more I’ve thought about it, the more I’m thinking catering it myself wouldn’t make sense.
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Feb 21, 2018 15:03
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Hey goons, did you have to indemnify your venue against liabilities? There's this clause in the contract I haven't yet signed:quote:INDEMNIFICATION & INSURANCE: To the extent permitted by law, you agree to protect, indemnify, defend and hold harmless the hotel, Hilton, and the owner of the hotel, and their respective employees and agents against all claims, losses or damages to persons or property, governmental charges or fines, and costs (including reasonable attorney's fees), arising out of or connected with your function, except those claims arising out of the sole negligence or willful misconduct of the hotel. I'm a little queasy on having to fork the cash over if Aunt Betty has a couple too many beers and bobsleds her way down the stairwell. Is this standard? My father's an attorney and was concerned about it, but he does employee benefits and executive compensation, so this isn't his area of expertise. Should I ask them to strike it from the contract? Did any of you have something like this in your contract?
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Feb 23, 2018 04:19
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I mean, it seems common sense that the hotel isn't responsible for someone getting drunk and hurting themselves. The phrasing at the end there seems pretty clear that if the hotel does something wrong, they have to own to it. Either way, it seems like a pretty standard "don't sue us for your mistakes" waiver.
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Feb 23, 2018 15:28
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Mortabis posted:Hey goons, did you have to indemnify your venue against liabilities? There's this clause in the contract I haven't yet signed: There are a surprising amount of thefts at weddings too, so they want to cover themselves there for the inevitable "well no-one I invited would steal from me!" conversation. Seems pretty normal. If someone gets drunk and falls down the stairs, its on them. If someone puts their weight on a step that breaks and they go down the stairs, its still on the hotel.
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Feb 23, 2018 15:46
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Mortabis posted:Hey goons, did you have to indemnify your venue against liabilities? There's this clause in the contract I haven't yet signed: Not your lawyer, this is not legal advice, etc., but the main thing that would give me pause if I were signing this myself and actually read it first is that they only carve out claims that are the sole responsibility of the hotel's negligence or willful misconduct, so if you and the hotel are both negligent it's theoretically all on you.
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Feb 23, 2018 16:37
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I think insuring your event, which should only be a couple hundred dollars, would take care of any issues that may arise. Also, most places’ insurance (in this case, the Hilton’s insurance) would be more likely to settle a case with someone than to argue in court about whether they were actually at fault or not. Just get your own event insurance as a just in case measure. I’m doing that for my wedding.
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Feb 23, 2018 17:47
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