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Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

I had to laugh at Ryuji's lack of geography, but honestly I've talked to and had class with enough recent immigrants and exchange students who just can't grasp how Big the US is, like having to explain Seattle is just a little too far to be a decent day trip (about 4-6 hours if the passes are open), or that you can't go to Los Angeles and back in a single day, or that the capital of the US is on the other side of the country.

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GunnerJ
Aug 1, 2005

Do you think this is funny?
The funniest part is the assumption that the capital must be in the middle of the country.

Or is it Sputnik
Aug 22, 2009

Oh, Ho-oh oh oh, oh whoa oh oh oh
I'll get 'em caught, show Oak what I've got

Arist posted:

You’re really raring to go! From the sounds of it, this guy is a frequent cheater. Lately he’s been focusing on a popular shooting game called “Gun About” and ruining people’s fun. According to the post, he mostly spends his time down at the arcade called Gigola on Central Street. It might just be a game, but cheating is inexcusable.
By the time of posting, Billy Mitchell had already got his.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
I feel like there's going to be a twist with video game guy. There has to be, right?

Funky Valentine
Feb 26, 2014

Dojyaa~an

Video game guy was put up on the PhanSite by Futaba who really wants to clear the Overwatch competitive scene of all rivals.

Rogue 7
Oct 13, 2012

Funky Valentine posted:

Video game guy was put up on the PhanSite by Futaba who really wants to clear the Overwatch competitive scene of all rivals.

Futaba seems like a Junkrat main, I bet she's unhappy he just got nerfed.

Jen X
Sep 29, 2014

To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

Funky Valentine posted:

Video game guy was put up on the PhanSite by Futaba who really wants to clear the Overwatch competitive scene of all rivals.

There’s no way that futaba actually plays competetive shooters

She just watches them on twitch and never chats because that would require interacting with other people

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Shocked I tell you

GeneX posted:

There’s no way that futaba actually plays competetive shooters

She just watches them on twitch and never chats because that would require interacting with other people

She seem fine interacting long as it's anonymous.

Glazius
Jul 22, 2007

Hail all those who are able,
any mouse can,
any mouse will,
but the Guard prevail.

Clapping Larry
I do like how the confidants all interact with Mementos.

...I wonder if all of this collective unconsciousness stuff translates to Hawaii. Do we even get service on the app?

cdyoung
Mar 2, 2012

Lord Koth posted:

Check out the Persona 5 Dengeki Comic Anthology (specifically Chapter 2: The Queen's Orders) for why Joker handles all the money. Well, there's nothing in it that suggests Makoto couldn't do it as well or instead, but she's apparently fine with the situation.

Not that the reasons shouldn't be blatantly obvious already. :v:

dat makoto face when dealing with ryuuji... I'm surprised no one took it yet.

fractalairduct
Sep 26, 2015

I, Giorno Giovanna, have a dream!

Arist posted:

Pretty much, thanks to the ruckus kicked up by those phantom thieves. I hope they keep this up. It makes things easier for me when the police are so focused on them. Just messin’ with ya. *chuckle* Work’s been goin’ well for me. You wanna try hiring me for somethin’ too? Just leave your info and the cash in the trash bin. Disappearances. Accidents, you name it, I do it. I won’t leave a single shred of evidence behind, just like how the Phantom Thieves do it! Haha!

Ok, so, there's this couple, the Takases, and they...

Kith
Sep 17, 2009

You never learn anything
by doing it right.


Arist posted:

It was really more weird than sad, to be honest. Does thinking about the traumatic concepts of “lunch” or “books” really cause that much pain? How do you live like that?
I have a friend who has gone through some poo poo in their lives and, fifteen years later, still dwells on the times that they were bullied as a kid for being "weird". It's really common for people who have experienced severe emotional trauma because they feel "wrong" for one reason or another and tend to overanalyze their lives to try to figure out how to avoid being "wrong" in the future.

fractalairduct posted:

Ok, so, there's this couple, the Takases, and they...

:yeah:

Blademaster_Aio
Jan 22, 2017

Shame we can't beat the Takases with a metal pipe.

But oh well. Time to change the hearts of trash.

Double Plus Undead
Dec 24, 2010
You never know, we could get lucky and give them severe brain damage.

Kal-L
Jan 18, 2005

Heh... Spider-man... Web searches... That's funny. I should've trademarked that one. Could've made a mint.

Really Pants posted:

counterpoint: Kill All Gamers

Stephen9001 posted:

Wow, that seems harsh. What is it about gamers you think deserves that?

A Gamer erased their high-score in Frogger.

Double Plus Undead posted:

You never know, we could get lucky and give them severe brain damage.

If only we knew some Hackermanwoman that could, say, empty their bank accounts, forward their e-mail adresses to spam sites, and cancel their internet service, but alas!

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

Kal-L posted:

If only we knew some Hackermanwoman that could, say, empty their bank accounts, forward their e-mail adresses to spam sites, and cancel their internet service, but alas!

But that's not our aesthetic!

RedMagus
Nov 16, 2005

Male....Female...what does it matter? Power is beautiful, and I've got the power!
Grimey Drawer
Futaba doing the gaming otaku thing I think is part of showing how she's more comfortable and considers the other members part of her group.

Looking forward to something happening with Morgana and thus we have to skip the trip however, poor cat really seems to be having the blues.

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!

Kal-L posted:

A Gamer erased their high-score in Frogger.

Oh yeah, I loved that episode of Seinfeld.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

RedMagus posted:

Futaba doing the gaming otaku thing I think is part of showing how she's more comfortable and considers the other members part of her group.

Looking forward to something happening with Morgana and thus we have to skip the trip however, poor cat really seems to be having the blues.

I wish, though I feel like given the rest of the game's translation quality that it's a case of the left hand not knowing what the right is doing, it's not as severe as I've seen in say the Tales of Wuxia (where they couldn't settle on how to localize names).

Tarezax
Sep 12, 2009

MORT cancels dance: interrupted by MORT

Robindaybird posted:

I wish, though I feel like given the rest of the game's translation quality that it's a case of the left hand not knowing what the right is doing, it's not as severe as I've seen in say the Tales of Wuxia (where they couldn't settle on how to localize names).

It's definitely not translation issues, Futaba's S-link is full of 2chan lingo in JP

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




Arist posted:

So you have no intention of accusing old man Kuramoto?
That’s right.
Sheesh… such a heartfuelt speech for someone your age. People are probably laughing at you as we speak. I doubt any of them were moved by your words. ...I might be the only one in this entire city who was.
Matsushita…



Only one more Tora social link to go. :smith:

Blueberry Pancakes
Aug 18, 2012

Jack in!! MegaMan, Execute!
I took that as Matsushita passive-aggressively complimenting him on his convictions.

MonsterEnvy
Feb 4, 2012

Shocked I tell you

Hobgoblin2099 posted:

I took that as Matsushita passive-aggressively complimenting him on his convictions.

It was as Matsuhita right after said he would ensure the party supported Tora.

Kith
Sep 17, 2009

You never learn anything
by doing it right.


Matsushita is frustrated that he couldn't manipulate Tora into doing what he wanted, but recognizes that Tora has his poo poo together and this is the best course of action instead of dividing the party. It's basically a Nash equilibrium.

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




Hobgoblin2099 posted:

I took that as Matsushita passive-aggressively complimenting him on his convictions.

I know he's complimenting him, it's heart warming! I'm sad that we've only got one more Tora event before we never see him again until possibly a cameo while we fight the final boss.

GhostStalker
Mar 26, 2010

Guys, find a woman who looks at you the way GhostStalker looks at every bald, obese, single 58 year old accountant from Tulsa who managed to win $4,000 by not wagering on a Final Jeopardy triple stumper.

Tarezax posted:

It's definitely not translation issues, Futaba's S-link is full of 2chan lingo in JP

I expected as much. Guess the only way to translate that is to meme it up.

Arist
Feb 13, 2012

who, me?


Part 99: 9/6: Mementos Sucks

Really sorry this update’s so late, folks. I’ve been a bit busy as of late, and looking at what this update entailed… can you blame me?

Music: Beneath the Mask (Instrumental Version)



We’ve been putting this off for far too long, and now we reap what we sow. It’s not just a Mementos update, but by far the longest one yet. May God have mercy on our souls.



We’ll start with this one first… This intel is on an atrocious land speculator. He’s trying to threaten the old couple who manage the theater in Yongen to make them move out. If we don’t do something, things will probably get even worse.
So he’s trying to do this because they declined his offer. We cannot allow such a horrible method to succeed.
Very well. I will go along with this.
There are still more. Next is… This intel is on a malicious cheating gamer. Apparently he’s been cheating at the arcades to show off recently. It’s been nothing but an annoyance to the other customers though.
Let’s change that immature jerk’s heart fast. We’ll show him that a real man fights fair and square.
Very well. I will go along with this.

...Really? No objections? Makoto? This dude is cheating at a video game, he’s a minor annoyance at absolute worst. Fine, whatever.

There are still more. Next is… This intel is on a harassing boss. He steals the achievements of his underlings without doing any work himself, all for his own profit. Apparently many of the workers have quit because they couldn’t handle his spiteful nature.
Using his position of power for wrongdoing? Such a horrible boss must repent for what he’s done.
Let us beat that rubbish mentality into submission.
There are still more. Next is… This intel is on a dangerous assailant who’s shown up in Shibuya recently. He only targets the weak. Many have already fallen victim to him.
Seriously? The hell are the police doin’ about this? Guess we gotta be the ones who punish this dude.
Let us beat that rubbish mentality into submission.

You don’t need to chime in on every single one, Yusuke, especially if you don’t have that much to say.

There are still more. Next is… This intel is on a college student who is abusing animals to relieve stress. Apparently a lot of cats have died by his hand…
How can someone even do that!? I don’t believe this.
I could never forgive a human like that. This will be revenge. There are still more. Next is… This is about that doctor in Yongen-Jaya, Takemi. She’s in a real pinch right now. An old boss of hers, Oyamada, is trying to crush her clinic to save himself.
This is the doctor in Yongen? poo poo…
This guy is hiding some serious medical mistakes. It turns out he’s quite the criminal.
All right, we gotta operate on that dude’s rotten heart then!
OK, it looks like we’re all ready to do this! We already told Mishima, so the forum post is up and running. There are still more. Next is… This intel is on the couple related to Kawakami’s former student. They are quite the foul pair of people. They’re using the incident where that child died to try and extort money from Kawakami.
What…? Threatening her is bad enough by itself, but using a deceased child to do it… That’s just too much. We have to do this.
Mm-hm. I’ll show off my skills in front of Lady Ann.

Well, at least none of the others had to find out about Kawakami’s side job.

OK, it looks like we’re all ready to do this! We already told Mishima, so the forum post is up and running. There are still more. Next is… This intel is on the stage mother who mistreats her daughter, the shogi player Hifumi Togo. She controls every aspect of Hifumi’s career, and has thus ruined her daughter’s shogi life. She forced Hifumi to become an idol against her wishes and even plans to fix her upcoming shogi match.
She’s treating her daughter like some kind of tool. We have to release Hifumi from that state.
Very well. I will go along with this.
OK, it looks like we’re all ready to do this! We already told Mishima, so the forum post is up and running. No objections, right? Mm… we’re good to go if you’re OK with it. That’s a unanimous decision! OK, all that’s left now is to take down the target in Mementos!



Ominous.

Yo, how many targets we got? 8 of em, yeah? Let’s do this.

Eight targets. Kill me.



Music: Mementos



It’s coming from below!




Music: Suspicion



It’s gotten even bigger.
This happened because we stole another Treasure… right?
I feel like it’s gonna keep gettin’ bigger and bigger.
I don’t think Mementos’s territorial expansion is caused by us stealing a Treasure. I bet it’s things like the number of searches for “Phantom Thieves,” the ranking of trending words… And the access counter on Mishima’s website and stuff. Even now, it’s slowly expanding.
The more we become the topic of conversation, the more Mementos spreads…?
*nods*
Maybe it’s the other way around…
Whaddya mean?
We’re the ones expanding it… Or perhaps, Mementos grants further passage as we become more prevalent in the general public’s cognition.
Like… gettin’ free admission for bein’ popular?
That’s rather well-put.
For real? That’s amazin’! Actually, you’re amazin’, Futaba! How’d you figure that out?
Piece of cake.
I didn’t know at all… What have I been doing…?

Music: Mementos





First things first, let’s get fusin’.

Music: Aria of the Soul



We’re going after our next Strength request, a Lachesis with Tetraja. The simplest way there is through fusing another Ame-no-Uzume using Principality and Lamia. You may remember that Ame-no-Uzume was the target of a previous request, which is why we’re not going to be registering this version in the Compendium/Inmate Registry (in case we want to make completing this Confidant easier in New Game Plus, because the Inmate Registry carries over). We could also try to just Gallows our Clotho, which also knows Tetraja and we’re going to be getting rid of this visit anyway, but I prefer to do these requests the traditional way (and don’t really want to deal with random skill selection).




Next up, Lachesis from Ame-no-Uzume and Isis.



The thread of fate is measured by my hand… I am the mask which determines your future…

Lachesis is another of the Moirae Sisters, or sisters of fate, from Greek mythology. She was the one who apportioned how much thread of life each mortal received. She was also the one who was said to choose each person’s destiny after measuring their thread.




Finally, Jatayu from Lamia and Suzaku.



I will gladly sacrifice my body to help you. If it brings you glory, a new mask I shall become.

Jatayu is a valiant bird from Hindu and Malay legend. From what I’m reading here, it attempted to rescue its old friend Rama’s wife Sita from the devil-king Ravana (and lost) in the Hindu epic Ramayana, as well as defeat its uncle, the giant bird Garuda, in the Malay story Hikayat Merong Mahawangsa (it lost there too). I’m not sure how I feel about having a twelfth of my soul dedicated to the Southeast Asian Bird of Jobbing, but this Persona will come in handy soon anyway.

If you’re wondering what skills I gave this Persona, it was Mafrei, Ominous Words, and Marin Karin.



Now, as mentioned earlier, this Clotho is old and busted. Lachesis is the new hotness. Sorry, girl, we traded up for your sister. It also occurs to me that we haven’t shown off the Electric Chair yet, and Invigorate 1 is a decent skill, so let’s do this.







Yikes.



And all that was left is a smoking item. This game’s fusion animations are loving gnarly, I tell you what. Also in relation to Clotho, here’s what she looked like in the ever-understated God of War 2 (NSFW)! Sometimes I look back on that series and go, man, that was mid-2000s as gently caress. What in the hell were we thinking? New one looks cool though, I guess.



Looks like you’re getting the hang of this. Well, that’s another assignment done…



No difficult questions, Justine. Just give him his assignment.
Understood.
Huh…? What’s with you? You’re not usually this cooperative.
I have no intention of abandoning my duty… but I would like to know the truth of this situation. After all, we possess a mysterious list which seems to have foretold the current state of affairs… Who wrote it? Why do I recognize the penmanship? Why does observing growth feel nostalgic? And beyond that… what was the true intent of its creator?
I thought I said no difficult questions…
To be honest though… I have arrived at a hypothesis.
What!? You know the answer…?
We manage the inmate’s power via several arcana, which symbolize the mystic nature of this world. In truth, the encounter we share with him is represented by the Strength arcana. Strength represents great power, a mighty will, and the awakening of the unknown…
Sounds about right.
Caroline… In our interactions, has the inmate been the only one to have had something awaken within him?



Perhaps… therein lies the answer.
Wh-What’s that supposed to mean!? Ughhh, dammit! Why do I feel so weird…!?



I’m sure whatever you’re discussing is important and all, but I really don’t give a poo poo about any of it and it doesn’t really seem to have much to do with me.

Sh-Shut it, Inmate! Can’t you see we’re in the middle of something!? And we already told you, there’re three tasks you’ve gotta do before you get your next reward! Although… this next task is gonna be the eighth one. There aren’t too many left on the list. You’ve come this far, Inmate. I hope you see it through.
If you do so… the answer will surely become clear.
And, uh… You’re more than just some random shmuck to us now…

Aww.

You’re the only one who can find the answer we’re looking for. You got that, Inmate!?
I feel like my bond with Caroline and Justine is growing deeper...



OK, next! You’ve only gotta bring us one more Persona before you get another reward!



We would like you to harbor within you.
You got that? A Hecatoncheires that knows Masukunda!

Well then, we’ve got eight loving targets to take down today, so let’s jump right in.



Those two look pretty sure of themselves. Real smug lookin’.
So they’re blackmailing that teacher, Kawakami, by using that incident where their child died.
But Ms. Kawakami did nothing wrong, right? We have to help her!
Are you ready? Let’s go.

Seems like we’re starting right off with the worst of the bunch.

Music: Desire



gently caress YOU, PAY ME

Clothes, handbags, makeup… There’s too many things I want!
Hm? You’re Kawakami’s students…? Did you come to bring me money? That incompetent teacher is so worthless! She should be grateful to be a source of income for me!



Shut up! Kawakami got in my way! I was going to use what happened to my son to get back at people! I’m not gonna lose… I won’t lose to elitists like you!



Music: Keeper of Lust




This fight isn’t terribly difficult, but the reason there’s no video is just because I decided to try some confusion money farming… which only one of them is vulnerable to. Mr. Takase will throw money away no problem, but the Mrs. is a different story, and I waste a lot of time and SP before I decided to just look it up and confirm she wasn’t susceptible. It ends up working out great for me anyway, though: Mr. Takase was throwing out anywhere between 18-30 thousand yen every time it happened. This isn’t an ideal fight to farm money from, especially because they can use Masukukaja to lower your odds of hitting them with Confusion, but while he only threw away money a handful of times, it was still more than worth it.

In terms of what attacks they use, it’s really just basic medium Ice and Electric spells from the wife and husband respectively, some Physical attacks from Mr. Takase, and the occasional Bufudyne (Heavy Ice damage) from Mrs. Takase. As evidenced by these guys being the first targets we come across (though there’s one we missed and are going to have to loop back around for at the end), they’re pretty weak by virtue of the fact that we could theoretically have gone through Kawakami’s Confidant and reached them a month or two earlier in the story.



This fight takes… a lot of turns, so we get a few opportunities for Futaba’s new skill, Moral Support, to activate.




Her current rank lets her apply party-wide buffs at random points in the battle, something Rise could also do in Persona 4 Golden. These include:
  • Party Attack up
  • Party Defense up
  • Party Agility up (in previous games this was known as Hit/Evasion to signify that it represented both your hit and evasion rates, but in the future I’ll just refer to this as Agility because it’s simpler, even though one of the Persona stats is also Agility and that might get a bit confusing)
  • Party HP recovery (generally moderate)
Now, there’s also one more, which Rise didn’t have. While I still think the absence of one specific skill from Rise’s toolkit means Futaba isn’t quite as broken as her, well...



Full-party Heat Riser is pretty goddamn hosed (Heat Riser is a skill that boosts all three parameters of Attack, Defense, and Agility at once. In Persona 4 Golden, Chie’s ultimate skill Dragon Hustle, which cost more than half her SP even at level 99, also let her apply a full-party Heat Riser. As you can imagine, this is stupid broken and can easily turn the tide of a fight). Reminder that Futaba learned Moral Support at Rank 1 of her Confidant, which was mandatory. As we rank Futaba up, we’ll unlock more functions of Moral Support that are also amazing, including one that’s somehow even better than this one, if you can believe that.

Outside of things relevant to systems that aren’t in Persona 4 like being surrounded or Mementos mapping, full-party Heat Riser is the only thing Futaba can do that Rise couldn’t. Still, incredible.




Music: Sunset Bridge



Name brands… Esthetic appointments… Without them, people will laugh...



We’re terrible human beings. Our son, Taiki, and his real parents were different… His parents were both high level elites at big name corporations. Always looking at us coldly… That’s why I let our son experience what it’s like to be forced to grovel!
It felt nice to see him gradually break down from working so much…

I guess there’s actual confirmation that the Takases totally worked Taiki for profit the same way they’re working Kawakami, yikes. What horrible loving people.



I guess this is why everyone’s looked down on us… I’m not sure now if his birth parents really looked down on us...
I was happy as long as I was with Toshio, but I forgot all about it. I became obsessed with money…
Taiki really was a good kid…



It seems the Takase couple had a change of heart. I should call Kawakami and meet her in my room...



I’m just now realizing how weird it is that two different people have the exact same distortion, to the point where they appear together in Mementos and have their changes of heart linked. It’s not bad, just… interesting.



That Envy Chain we got is a new weapon for Ann, which despite its garbage Attack rating, has a high chance of inflicting Despair. We’re not really using Ann’s melee attack with any real frequency, so equipping it’s not a major loss, especially for such a debilitating status ailment.

Next up, Tsuboi, the cat abuser.



He seems a little irritated.
I heard he was abusin’ animals just to take his anger out on them.
I can’t let him get away with something like that!
You guys, don’t go easy on him!

Music: Desire



Maybe they die when I use ‘em to blow off steam, but the shelter was gonna kill ‘em, anyway. In fact, I bet those cats are happy to be so useful to humans!
What a poor excuse for a human being! I could never forgive someone like you!
Why don’t you complain to the irresponsible people taking their pets to the pound, huh? Well, who cares. You guys are superheroes, right? Then hurry up and destroy this rotten society!
We’ll take your twisted desires, but first I’ll show you the pain you caused those poor animals!
Huh? Wait, are you some kind of cat monster?



Let’s do it, Joker! I’ll show you the wrath of cats!

Music: Keeper of Lust

Shadow Tsuboi



Humans and cats are a prime example. Now, who is stronger: me or the Phantom Thieves!?



Okay, so the first thing Tsuboi will do is increase everyone’s ailment susceptibility using Stagnant Air.




Then he’ll use Flash Bomb to make people dizzy. He might also try to instant-kill someone with Mudo.



This guy’s pretty simple to deal wit--oh goddammit

ANYWAY (thank god the game lets you restart from the beginning of the last boss or miniboss)

Music: Sunset Bridge




That’s a good idea. Perhaps then, he’ll understand what those animals had to endure.
I-I’m sorry! Wh-What should I do?
Remember the awful things you did to those cats. Doesn’t it make you feel horrible?
*sob* I’ve done something terrible. I’m even less than an animal. I’m worthless trash...
I won’t tell you to give up your life. But you will spend the rest of your life in guilt.






And our reward is yet another Despair weapon, though this one actually does some damage in expense for not having quite as high an application rate.

Music: Mementos



We have so many goddamn lockpicks




Seems useful.




Mementos Scan doesn’t activate as often as you’d like (which is pretty much always), but it’s still good to be able to skip a floor.

Next target, Naguri, the punk assaulting people.



He’s got a crazy look in his eyes.
He’s been known to attack indiscriminately. I suppose he really has lost his sanity...
If we don’t make him have a change of heart, I won’t feel safe walking around in public.
We have to do this.

Music: Desire



Oh, geez, he’s the annoying type...
So, uh, can I help you? You didn’t come to pick a fight with me, did you? That can’t be.
Stop playin’ dumb, you crazy criminal.
I’m doing the world a service. We’ve got an overpopulation problem with too many old people. Just think of this as my own personal brand of justice. Anyways, it doesn’t involve you punks!



Urgh, let’s take him down, Joker!

Music: Keeper of Lust



You’ll regret picking a fight with me. I’m going to beat you to a pulp!

Naguri has a huge health pool, but also takes an absurd amount of damage more than normal enemies. My first attack, a medium Psy spell, did 455 damage to him. Rakunda + Bufula broke 1k. He’ll use Tarukaja, but even with that, his only move worth worrying about is Swift Strike. It’s a really easy fight.

Music: Sunset Bridge



“Sorry” won’t cut it. You attacked and hurt a lot of people, you know?
I… What can I do…?



Tell the police everything.
Turn myself in… I guess there’s no other way. I’ve been doing something truly horrible. I need to be punished for it…



Oh poo poo, a Charge skill card. Charge (and its equivalent for magic skills, Concentrate) boosts the power of the next Physical skill you use by 2.5 times. Rakunda plus Tarukaja plus Charge equals some Fist of the North Star, exploding a dude with your pinky poo poo.

We were fortunate to have caught him before anyone died. We should be quite grateful for that fact.



All right, next is Kishi, the credit-stealing boss.



God, he looks pigheaded…
This guy abused his position at work, right? Harassin’ the people under him and all that.
It’s people like him who create awful workplace environments…
Let’s talk to him.

Music: Desire



Stealing credit from your subordinates is one of the worst things you can do as a superior.

And you’d know, Fox!

That’s my way of management. It’s efficient—I give the orders, and my underlings do all the work. It’s a pretty easy job. As long as the numbers go up, that idiot president won’t say anything. If my underlings have a problem, they should just get promoted. But since I evaluate them...
How did someone like you ever get promoted? If I were the president, you’d be fired!
Shut up, kids! Your reasoning doesn’t apply in the real world! If you don’t get it, I’ll teach you a lesson as your high and mighty ruler!



Let’s go!

Music: Keeper of Lust



Your coming here happened by circumstance, but the results that follow—they’ll favor me!

Kishi will use Brain Shake to inflict Brainwash, but has a rather small HP pool and doesn’t seem to have many more tricks than that… until he casts Diarahan to fully heal himself. He’s weak to Bless skills, though, so we can take advantage of that to take him down before he drags this out too long.



From that fight Ann learns Maragion, a multi-target medium Fire spell, which we slot in to replace the strictly inferior Maragi.

Music: Sunset Bridge




You’re right. That vicious cycle should have stopped with me. What have I done to my precious subordinates? I made them take responsibility for my mistakes, sent them far away, messed up their lives… It’s all my fault… All mine…
How do you intend to take responsibility for all this?
I’ll read some business books. I’ll try to do what I can to become an ideal boss…
I want you to think carefully about what kind of boss you’d like to work for. Figure it out.



An amusement park guidebook!? Even if you abused your subordinates, I guess your kids were real important to you…

It’s nice to occasionally see a motive for distortion that isn’t “AAARGH I’M EVIL!”



Hang on, everybody… we’re halfway done… hooray.

Music: Mementos



Maybe this means we’re close to our goal?

Stunning insight, cat.

On the very next floor, we come to the end of this block, as well as Jochi, the man trying to evict the theater owners in Yongen.



Judging from the smirk on his face, it looks like he’s scheming something awful.

No, that’s me. Sorry, guys.

I heard he was threatenin’ this old couple, tryin’ to kick them out of their own movie theater.
If we leave him alone, he may resort to violence.
We can’t let that happen! Let’s go!

Music: Desire



It seems like you’re trying to use force to get people to leave their property?
Land development is important. Getting rid of stubborn people in my way is part of the job. I’m not just playing around, like you kids are doing!
We’re quite serious. We can’t let those who cause problems for others to go unpunished. That includes people like you, who use bullying tactics to get what they want.
You’re just pissy-smelling kids acting big. You should’ve stopped playing hero back in preschool!



Music: Keeper of Lust



Weak to Electricity, likes to use annoying Physical moves. Doesn’t really have a lot else in its kit. The thing about Mementos bosses is that the ones that don’t kick the poo poo out of you don’t really have that much going for them.

Music: Sunset Bridge



Please, isn’t there some way I can have the movie theater?



Yeah, know when to give up.
Oh, er, I’m sorry. I’ll give up. So please, forgive me...
I hope you’ll consider the feelings of those who get things take from them from now on.
I-I got it… I’ll be honest with my superiors. I’ll tell them that no one has any interest in leaving Yongen…
Not just Yongen! You better make up for the awful things you’ve done elsewhere, too!

Uh, wait a second. He said he was gonna get fired if he didn’t get his bosses this property, right? Doesn’t that just mean they’ll send someone else? Even worse, doesn’t that mean they’re going to keep doing this elsewhere? Hello? Nobody cares? All right.



This is some form of book, likely one that unlocks a new hangout.



I really didn't think I'd go so far over the character limit when I started this update. I didn't even really think I would get near it. Welp, just another thing I'm wrong about! The rest is in the next post!

Arist
Feb 13, 2012

who, me?


Part 99.5: 9/6: MEMENTOS SUUUUUUUCKS

Music: Mementos



The door behind Jochi opens upon inspection.

Sweet, now we can keep movin’.
Just be careful, OK? The deeper we go, the stronger the enemies get.



The word Akzeriuth, even with all these extra “Y”s, is giving me traumatic flashbacks to Tales of the Abyss. The root word of both is the Hebrew word Achzariyut, or cruelty.



That’s a sign of how much more twisted this place is. I’m sure the Shadows here are stronger, too.
Yeah, and looks like there are more enemies here than there were up above. Be careful, OK?




Eventually, we come to another rest area and I realize I’ve been neglecting to cover an easy-to-ignore source of conversation: Rest area Mementos discussions. In actual Palaces, the option to discuss progress is pretty pointless outside of the game giving you a vague hint of how much further you have to go, but in Mementos the characters actually stop and think about how goddamn weird this place is, holy poo poo.

Mementos is the Palace of the general public, correct?
Yeah, what’s your point?
Well, Madarame’s was a museum, Kaneshiro’s was a bank, and the teacher Kamoshida’s was a castle… Essentially, it seems that the appearance of a Palace is rooted in the distorted desires of its ruler. But in that case… why is this place a subway? Is that what the general public desires?
He makes a good point. I wondered the same thing when I first came here…
Even I don’t know the answer. The existence of Mementos is a pretty special thing to begin with.
Didn’t you say it’s the source of all other Palaces?
Yeah… It’s fundamentally different from just one person’s distortions. The layout changes every time too. Even its current appearance as a subway might be temporary. If that’s true, then…
Hey, I don’t wanna rain on your parade or nothing, but aren’t we here to check that out ourselves? Wouldn’t it be faster to just get to the bottom and be done with it?
Perhaps, but…
No, Skull is unfortunately right. This isn’t something we’ll be able to find the answer to right now. I’m sure the mystery will be solved if we can reach the depths of this place though.
Did you really hafta say that me bein’ right was “unfortunate”?



Later, we come across Pisaca, the one new enemy we encounter this entire Mementos visit. It likes to inflict Sleep and use Physical skills, and is weak to Fire.

Next, we encounter the cheater, Nejima. Still can’t believe we’re actually doing this. Besides, he’s just cheating at a video game, I really loving doubt his distortion is so great that his Shadow will be able to put up any form of resistance against us.



He looks so… pathetic.
He’s cheating in a video game, right?
Yeah, he’s a cheater. It’s not something an adult should be doin’.
Let’s go.

Music: Desire



In the Gun About world, no one can defeat me! Cheating? I don’t know what you’re talking about… The winners are the ones who decide what is right! It’s the winners who decide what justice is! And what greater winner is there than me? I’m the god of the Gun About world! I am the god of the Gun About world! I am invincible! No one can ever hope to defeat me!

You, uh… You said the same thing twice, dude.

No matter how many come against me, no one can ever wound me!



Psh! Idiot! Let’s get him!

Music: Keeper of Lust

Shadow Nejima (You should actually probably watch this one)



Ain’t no matter what you throw my way, you won’t put a scratch on me!

So, the first thing we’ll notice, and this should set off some alarms immediately, is that this is the only voiced Mementos target in the entire game. I wasn’t kidding when I said “watch this,” by the way. You need to hear this dude’s accent.



Ugh.



Well, that’s just bad luck.



Come on, game!



Uh…




And he can enrage us, great.

A few turns of pointless, missed attacks later...



Look at him, acting all smug because of his cheats… We can’t do anything to him at this rate though. Let’s retreat for now and rethink our approach.

Wait, retreat!?

Music: Mementos



And then we just leave! The great and mighty Phantom Thieves, forced into retreat by a loving PUBG hacker! What the hell is this game?

Yes… Unfortunately, it appears we do not have even a chance of victory.
Yo, Morgana. Ain’t there anything we can do?
I’m not sure. As I’ve already mentioned, the Metaverse is a place where people’s cognitions materialize. Even I can’t predict what will happen here…
Dammit! If only we could figure out what his ability is…



We know what his ability is, you dumbass. I just don’t get how “uses cheats in a video game” translates to “his repressed emotions have become an unkillable superbeing.”

That’s exactly right!
So we’ll need to figure out a way to break through his cheat…
That’s fine, but let’s do it somewhere else. It’s not exactly what I’d call safe here. We should talk more where there aren’t Shadows.
We can make it our homework then. Let us think more on this topic after we return to reality.



I hope it doesn’t add too much more work to your plate.

It’s fine, Makoto. I already have to do everything around here.

Homework… Eh, I guess that works. Anyways, let’s get goin’.



This is the sixth area on this floor, but counting the entire Palace… it’s the thirty-third one.
Thirty-three areas? I’m starting to feel kind of overwhelmed… Just how big is this place?
Who knows? This whole place, its overall structure… It’s all a mystery. Oh well. Just, uh, hang in there…!

We have to head back down, though, because we still have two other targets to take care of. This Mementos trip is a nightmare that will never cease. The game is at least kind enough to inform us when we return to the cheater’s floor, however, so we don’t accidentally go right back into his den.





Another good pull from a random locked chest, all right.




This interaction isn’t important, I just thought it was kinda charming.

We finally make it as deep as we’re going to go today for Mitsuyo Togo, Hifumi’s mother.



She’s using her just like a pawn, from what I hear.
That’s her own daughter… What is wrong with her?
I don’t know much about shogi, but I do know she’s a bad person!
It’s as you say, Lady Ann! Let’s get her!

Music: Desire



I gave birth to her. I raised her! My child should be devoted to serving me! I can finally be happy once Hifumi becomes a famous shogi player!



Hmph. ...She thinks she rose in rank on her own skill, but most of those matches were fixed.

...What!?

I’m the one who’s been building Hifumi’s commercial value! If I didn’t get rid of all her rivals, she wouldn’t be where she is now! I enlisted private investigators and even criminals to find their weaknesses and destroy them! I paid off anyone who might have complained or spoken out.

...Don’t you work in a nightclub? How are you affording all this hush money?

Oh, and I even sold stories to those weekly magazines. Heroines and tragedies go hand in hand!

Don’t quote this line pretending it answers the previous question I just asked, because it doesn’t. They’re not paying you that much money for some dumb tabloid story about an amateur shogi player.

One more step, and my vision for Hifumi will be realized. I’m so close to victory! I won’t let anyone get in the way!



Music: Keeper of Lust

Shadow Togo



So, I’d actually recommend watching the video for this one, because hoo boy, this fight. At the end there I almost die several times, especially after an incredibly unlucky Mamudoon instant kills the entire party except for Maaku (twice). She can cast heavy Fire, Ice, Electricity, and Curse for over 200 damage per, use medium multitarget spells, and generally kick your poo poo in. More than once I either survive an attack with HP you can count on one hand or dodge an attack that absolutely would have killed me. It’s easily the hardest (real) fight we’ve been in all day.

And she has a lot of loving health. But hey, at least she’s weak to Bless. Attacks do so little damage across the board, however, that it’s really better to Baton Pass over to Ryuji and have him use Assault Dive rather than go for the All-out Attack.




Morgana learns Magarula, which replaces Magaru.



Yusuke learns Counterstrike as well, though he’s a total scrub who gets all his kills by camping. It replaces his normal Counter skill, as the former has a 15% chance of reflecting Physical damage as opposed to 10%, and the effect does not stack.

Music: Sunset Bridge



I could never win on my own. I had to use Hifumi, I had to...



I never meant to make Hifumi unhappy. Never. But when she won that grade school competition… She started being called a “genius girl,” and I could never get that out of my head… I turned out to be such a horrible mother. I’m sorry, Hifumi, I’m sorry...



A Bead Chain is an item that lets you fully restore the party’s HP. It’s pretty good.

Mitsuyo seems to have had a change of heart. I should go check with Hifumi...



Finally, we’re on the last target, who we accidentally skipped because the system for telling you where each target is in each block is just Morgana saying “the closest one’s below/above us, I guess” which is about as intuitive as it sounds. Anyway, we’re going after Oyamada, who’s forcing Takemi to close her clinic. We could have conceivably done this target much earlier in the game, so it’ll be a few blocks behind us and pretty weak.



That bastard looks like he’s been eatin’ well lately.
Hm. He made a mistake in rushing a drug’s development, and now intends for his subordinate to take the fall.
People might die if we don’t change his heart! And a good doctor will have to quit…



Takemi’s no Freddie Highmore, that’s for sure. I hope you enjoyed this awful Photoshop goof because it took way longer than it should have.

Also, I kinda take issue with calling Takemi a “good doctor.” She tests her experimental drugs on high school students until they pass out. Plus, she sells a ton of weird pharmaceuticals on the side.

Yeah. We gotta do something!

Music: Desire



As head of the medical office, I’m superior to everyone! I deserve all your respect! You should be begging me to examine you! Be grateful I have the compassion to fix you trash!



Ah, you’re that kid who was at Takemi’s. So how’s she doing? She was sooo depressed when she heard her patient died. Oh, I’m so worried about her. Poor girl… Hehe… Hehehe… Hahahahaha! It’s been so long since I’ve felt so exhilarated! Did she quit being a doctor yet? If she hasn’t, then tell her she better hurry it up!



Wha--!? You dare talk to me, your superior, like that!? Grr… Your diagnosis is “arrogance with no chance of recovery.” I better “treat” you right away! And I’ll blame your death on Takemi messing up again!

Wait, what does happen if we die in the Metaverse? Is it a P4 situation, where we get ejected into the subway system or something?



Music: Keeper of Lust



Oyamada uses weak Almighty attacks. He probably does some other poo poo, too, but uh… Morgana got a critical hit with Lucky Punch and the resulting All-out Attack killed him. He was only alive long enough for two party members to take a turn. Laaaaaame.

Music: Sunset Bridge



I want to save people’s lives. And I want to do something great, and help make medical history. But I’m just a mediocre doctor. I’ve only gotten promoted because of my university connections.

Medical Chief of Staff is a little high in the ranks to rise to out of pure nepotism, isn’t it?

Takemi, though, was so creative. She had all these ideas, and her techniques were extraordinary…! Everything I ever wanted—fame, prestige—she earned in just a few short years… I was jealous of her. That’s why I tried to take all the credit for her new drug...



I like getting to just go “man, gently caress you.”

Ha… Haha… If only there were a medication that works on jealousy… …… Takemi’s patient isn’t dead.



What!?

I thought she wouldn’t recover, so I moved her to the hospice wing for terminally ill patients. But that patient didn’t believe my diagnosis. She ended up transferring to another hospital. Of course, transferring to another hospital makes our own hospital and university look really bad. That’s why I made everyone tell the same lie: the patient chose to leave the hospice, and then died.

That’s really dumb and makes no sense!

She doesn’t have much time left, but maybe Takemi could do something about it.



Ha. A healing skill. Cute.

It sounds like the patient is still alive. I should go tell Takemi about this right away…

I’ve already recorded a bunch in advance so I bring you this spoiler alert from the future: We’re going to gently caress around for over two weeks and not do that.



Well, that’s all of them. Holy poo poo. We’re done. I… can’t really believe it. It kind of just feels like a part of me died in the process.



The amount of time we spent in Mementos today spanned just under two and a half hours. For context, trying to fit more than an hour of recording into an update usually results in it being obscenely long. A full Palace usually takes around four hours, also, but keep in mind that there’s actual poo poo to do and forward progression in a Palace, and also I don’t ever loving try to fit an entire Palace into a single update. This was a nightmare, pure and simple, so mind-numbingly tedious that even as I was playing it I had to split it up over two play sessions, and spending the last nine hours or so trying to wash my hands of it have been excruciating. I’m not trying to whine to you guys about how bad Mementos is, both because that’s pathetic and also because you’ll never truly understand it the way I do when I say gently caress MEMENTOS.

...But on the bright side, we now have about 470,000 yen. So there's that.

Music: Beneath the Mask




He is invincible at his game, so he is invincible in Mementos as well…
Then how about we just beat him at that game of his? Oh, but he’ll just cheat...
How ‘bout we ask for help from a skilled player? Supposedly there’s an insanely good gamer they call the “King” somewhere in this city. I’ve seen all over the forums how he managed to beat this cheater himself with orthodox methods.
For real!? Where can we find him?
I checked his account from the official server… But I couldn’t pinpoint what arcade he goes to. Sorry…
But if he’s really that famous, won’t it be easy to find him?
That’s true. OK, we should gather intel on the King at the arcades around the city.
I didn’t know someone could get famous just by being good at a video game… In any case, we might be able to get through this if we can find this King. With his help… we’ll crush that cheating jerk for sure!



There’s a bunch of dishes that need cleaning. Sorry, but I’m gonna need you to help with ‘em.

Eh, fine with me, I spent the day in the Metaverse so it’s not like I’ve got an evening period to waste.

Music: Break it Down (Elp Version)



That’s enough help for today. Go on and head up to bed.
Have fun. I’ll make sure I keep working on you-know-what after I’m done taking a breather. By the way, Sojiro… are people on probation even allowed out of the country?

According to that one TV quiz we saw months ago, yes!

There’s no law saying they’re not. As long as it’s fine by me, it’s fine in the eyes of the law. I mean, not letting a kid take part in school events probably wouldn’t be good for his rehab.
Huh… But if anything bad happens on the trip, it’ll be the school’s responsibility.
That’s right.

Sojiro walks offscreen.




Aren’t you gonna ask for any souvenirs from Hawaii? No hula doll or anything?
No.
Heyyy, Mona’s acting weird!



Not necessarily…
Hey, don’t let the cat up on the counter, OK?



Morgana walks upstairs.

...Weird Mona.

Music: Beneath the Mask




Thank you. Take care of yourself, Yusuke. And Futaba, we’ll be relying on you for the analysis.
Leave it to me.
Just let us know if anything comes up, k?
A-OK!
Then off we go! Look after Morgana for us.
Have a nice trip!

Part of the reason it was a good idea to go to Mementos today is that we had nothing to lose because our evening would be consumed anyway. I’m going to pretend I totally knew that before I decided to go and it wasn’t just a lucky coincidence.



Everything’s fine. You don’t need to worry about me… You should just focus on your trip. It’s tomorrow, right…?



They’re called the Phantom Thieves, and they’re at the peak of their popularity. We’re going to try to find out who they are. This spring was when they made their first appearance.
The peak of our popularity, huh? I guess we should be careful not to get too carried away.





Uh… Never mind. Have fun on your trip...

Jeez, the cat’s being a huge downer. Can’t wait to go to Hawaii and get away from his bad attitude. Next time!

Arist fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Mar 6, 2018

Oxxidation
Jul 22, 2007
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Poltergrift
Feb 16, 2014



"When I grow up, I'm gonna be a proper swordsman. One with clothes."
Actually, Mementos is cool, and good.

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?



Mementos is fine in small doses. From the fact that there's so many little things like the conversations I feel like it was supposed to be this big part of the game that you went back to constantly, like, every time you needed some money or levels or whatever, but because players tend to want to see as many of the confidants as possible, they do what Arist did here and marathon run it instead, which takes a kinda mediocre dungeon crawler into absolute misery levels.

really queer Christmas
Apr 22, 2014

Poltergrift posted:

Actually, Mementos is cool, and good.

The words on arists tombstone.

Funky Valentine
Feb 26, 2014

Dojyaa~an

The music is so loving awful in Mementos that it makes whatever enjoyable facets of it exist turn to poo poo.

Also I'm imagining that the hacker was doing some classic "zip around at high speeds in T pose while instakilling everyone that touches you" stuff.

GhostStalker
Mar 26, 2010

Guys, find a woman who looks at you the way GhostStalker looks at every bald, obese, single 58 year old accountant from Tulsa who managed to win $4,000 by not wagering on a Final Jeopardy triple stumper.

The Takases being garbage people confirmed all over again.

Momentos' BGM is just way too repetitive, though the convos that pop up from time to time are worth it, I guess. Not enough to spend too much time inside, but they break up the monotony after a while.

RickVoid
Oct 21, 2010

Arist posted:



We’ll get fired if we go too far… Let’s just cover the Phantom Thieves fad like we were told.
This is definitely good news. The more we praise them now, the more fun we’ll have later.
So we build them up now only to bash them once they fall? Do you think it’ll be that easy?
We’ll worry about that when the time comes. Right now, we just stir and keep stirring!



I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry

Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry



From several updates back, I know, but I'm still catching up.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
How much money did you pull out of that run?

Arist
Feb 13, 2012

who, me?


Coq au Nandos posted:

How much money did you pull out of that run?

Thanks for bringing this up, because I totally forgot to include it in the update proper:

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
Sweet, that's nearly five holy stones.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender

Funky Valentine posted:

The music is so loving awful in Mementos that it makes whatever enjoyable facets of it exist turn to poo poo.
It sorely needed something like the variations in Tartarus' music as you climbed higher(or in this case went lower). Or Morgana gaining a jukebox function at some point. Or something.

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eternaldough
Jan 16, 2017

Why isn't 'guy who cheats at games' the final boss? Seems like wasted potential to me. And I am only half joking.

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