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funmanguy posted:A long faced horse walks into a bar.... wait, gently caress. haha both punchlines are poop |
# ? Mar 2, 2018 04:01 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:30 |
an immaculately dressed waiter with a curly mustache walks in slow and graceful with a delicious looking surleigh on a gleaming plate "you ordered the surleigh?" "no, surleigh not, haha" his mustache droops. his left eye twitches e: never mind joke cancelled i was literally sure there was a kind of steak called a surleigh though. as i type this i realize i was thinking of surloin this joke is bad i messed up big in the good jokes thread take the moon fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Mar 2, 2018 |
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# ? Mar 2, 2018 04:28 |
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spectres of autism posted:an immaculately dressed waiter with a curly mustache walks in slow and graceful with a delicious looking surleigh on a gleaming plate surloin you must be joking |
# ? Mar 2, 2018 06:47 |
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spectres of autism posted:an immaculately dressed waiter with a curly mustache walks in slow and graceful with a delicious looking surleigh on a gleaming plate actually I quite like the concept of attempted jokes that are based on the joketeller's misremembering/misunderstanding something
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# ? Mar 2, 2018 07:01 |
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: so if you can believe it I once saw bill gates play the piano : no kidding! how was it? : I'll be honest, not too great. I love the moonlight sonata but he really butchered it. : I guess you could say . . . his bach was worse than his byte! : . . . : you were about to say something? : . . . no. no. . . . nope.
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# ? Mar 2, 2018 07:19 |
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lol someone make the unfactual jokes thread imo |
# ? Mar 2, 2018 13:04 |
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Manifisto posted:: so if you can believe it I once saw bill gates play the piano CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
# ? Mar 2, 2018 17:46 |
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I can't remember where I heard this one: If you arranged all the bones of a snake end to end, you would have a snake. |
# ? Mar 2, 2018 19:58 |
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If you arranged all my bones end to end, you'd have a boner because I have a sexy skeleton. |
# ? Mar 2, 2018 22:20 |
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Academy Award Nominee The Boss Baby |
# ? Mar 3, 2018 10:28 |
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Cubone posted:Academy Award Nominee The Boss Baby Academy Award Winner Suicide Squad CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:38 |
DavidAlltheTime posted:If you arranged all my bones end to end, you'd have a boner because I have a sexy skeleton. ---------------- |
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# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:43 |
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DavidAlltheTime posted:If you arranged all my bones end to end, you'd have a boner because I have a sexy skeleton. my boner deflates when i notice your slightly deformed ossicles |
# ? Mar 3, 2018 20:39 |
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if all the girls who attended the yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that were longer than a football field |
# ? Mar 3, 2018 20:55 |
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Questionable Gifts A mug saying "bored and horny" A toilet bowl brush fifteen thousand malted milk balls (loose) |
# ? Mar 3, 2018 21:35 |
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Questionable Gifts A tooth |
# ? Mar 3, 2018 22:22 |
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Questionable Gifts sentience |
# ? Mar 3, 2018 23:15 |
Cheat codes for real life Stand in front of any npc. Press punch, punch, kick, punch, punch, kick. You can now take the npcs stuff Use right while hiding the gas pedal to access the sidewalk lane and bypass traffic. Want the next level with out earning it? Go down, open, suck to unlock your promotion. |
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# ? Mar 4, 2018 00:45 |
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Ride The Gravitron posted:Cheat codes for real life |
# ? Mar 4, 2018 02:47 |
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I'm Randy for objectivism |
# ? Mar 4, 2018 10:55 |
learn psychoanalysis while youre still Jung | |
# ? Mar 4, 2018 16:17 |
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The problem with snow school is it teaches snow discipline.
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# ? Mar 4, 2018 16:24 |
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What do you call having sex in a coffee shop in German? KAFFEEBOHNEN Tell me more! |
# ? Mar 4, 2018 22:06 |
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four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie |
# ? Mar 5, 2018 00:13 |
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Questionable Gifts piss CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: |
# ? Mar 5, 2018 01:01 |
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my nickname in bed is Stoic the Vast |
# ? Mar 5, 2018 07:54 |
Freddy Krueger's fingerblade gloves might have a universal iconography of overt menace to them, but I think a movie monster called "Freddy Booger" would tap into a more primal and innate sense of revulsion and terror. I mean, you can rationalize fingerblades away as lousy weapons, more look than hook, but I think all of us will begin to hyperventilate at the thought of some creep maniac giddily and relentlessly trying to wipe his grody nose oysters all over you. ---------------- |
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# ? Mar 5, 2018 08:13 |
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Uwe Bolls Deus Ex |
# ? Mar 5, 2018 08:21 |
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i miss fart gently caress hell |
# ? Mar 5, 2018 09:01 |
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Adam Sandler stars in Michael Bay's Assassin's Creed: Black Flag Tagline: Come to the back of the boat!
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# ? Mar 5, 2018 20:28 |
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Koishi Komeiji posted:Adam Sandler stars in Michael Bay's Assassin's Creed: Black Flag |
# ? Mar 6, 2018 02:00 |
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Koishi Komeiji posted:Adam Sandler stars in Michael Bay's Assassin's Creed: Black Flag I enjoyed snl celebrity jeopardy
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# ? Mar 6, 2018 11:41 |
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ShinyBirdTeeth posted:Questionable Gifts I received a toilet bowl brush from a wretch of a human once, as a gift. It was, in retrospect, the only gift that made sense coming from him. We thought initially that he was loving with us, but sadly no. It has now been combined with a nerf turbo football and is the trophy for last place in our league. |
# ? Mar 6, 2018 13:34 |
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What an awful thing for him to do! Holy heck, but I'm glad you got a neat "trophy" out of it at least. |
# ? Mar 6, 2018 20:08 |
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how I think I sound ordering schezuan sauce at mcdonalds: "My curiosity has been piqued by your newly introduced condiment, good sir. I say, would you be so kind as to provide me with an adequate number of schezuan packets to compliment my chicken selects on this fine evening?" what the cashier hears: "I turned myself into a pickle, morty!"
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# ? Mar 6, 2018 21:56 |
redm posted:how I think I sound ordering schezuan sauce at mcdonalds: Oh god. I tried to do this at my local McD's, and the little middle-aged immigrant lady behind the counter turned around and said something to the kitchen crew in Spanish or Khmer or Laplander that made them all laugh. What language has the phrase string "cartoon watching dipshit" in it? ---------------- |
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# ? Mar 6, 2018 23:59 |
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The only safe way is to use the electronic ordering kiosk. If you don't live in the 21st century |
# ? Mar 7, 2018 00:09 |
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TVsVeryOwn posted:The only safe way is to use the electronic ordering kiosk. If you don't live in the 21st century Some days I wonder if I am still even really alive friend. Then again I have never ordered sauce packets from a McDonalds kiosk, so I must be doing okay.
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# ? Mar 7, 2018 13:25 |
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My dumb back up joke is probably stupid after I thought about it and I didn't mean it to be snarky TV, you are great and I duno, lol.
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# ? Mar 7, 2018 13:49 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:30 |
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you versus the guy she tells you not to worry about |
# ? Mar 7, 2018 17:02 |