Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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DavidAlltheTime: All David...all the TIME!

funmanguy posted:

A long faced horse walks into a bar.... wait, gently caress.

What's brown and shaped like a stick? Oh god damnit

haha both punchlines are poop

# ? Mar 2, 2018 04:01

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# ? May 15, 2024 11:03

take the moon: by sebmojo

an immaculately dressed waiter with a curly mustache walks in slow and graceful with a delicious looking surleigh on a gleaming plate

"you ordered the surleigh?"

"no, surleigh not, haha"

his mustache droops. his left eye twitches

e: never mind joke cancelled i was literally sure there was a kind of steak called a surleigh though. as i type this i realize i was thinking of surloin this joke is bad i messed up big in the good jokes thread

take the moon fucked around with this message at 04:44 on Mar 2, 2018

# ? Mar 2, 2018 04:28

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

spectres of autism posted:

an immaculately dressed waiter with a curly mustache walks in slow and graceful with a delicious looking surleigh on a gleaming plate

"you ordered the surleigh?"

"no, surleigh not, haha"

his mustache droops. his left eye twitches

e: never mind joke cancelled i was literally sure there was a kind of steak called a surleigh though. as i type this i realize i was thinking of surloin this joke is bad i messed up big in the good jokes thread

surloin you must be joking

# ? Mar 2, 2018 06:47

Manifisto

spectres of autism posted:

an immaculately dressed waiter with a curly mustache walks in slow and graceful with a delicious looking surleigh on a gleaming plate

"you ordered the surleigh?"

"no, surleigh not, haha"

his mustache droops. his left eye twitches

e: never mind joke cancelled i was literally sure there was a kind of steak called a surleigh though. as i type this i realize i was thinking of surloin this joke is bad i messed up big in the good jokes thread

actually I quite like the concept of attempted jokes that are based on the joketeller's misremembering/misunderstanding something

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Mar 2, 2018 07:01

Manifisto

: so if you can believe it I once saw bill gates play the piano

:cool:

: no kidding! how was it?

: I'll be honest, not too great. I love the moonlight sonata but he really butchered it.

:cool:

: I guess you could say . . . his bach was worse than his byte!

: . . .

: you were about to say something?

: . . . no. no. . . . nope.

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Mar 2, 2018 07:19

alnilam

lol someone make the unfactual jokes thread imo

# ? Mar 2, 2018 13:04

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

Manifisto posted:

: so if you can believe it I once saw bill gates play the piano

: no kidding! how was it?

: I'll be honest, not too great. I love the moonlight sonata but he really butchered it.

: I guess you could say . . . his bach was worse than his byte!

: . . .

: you were about to say something?

: . . . no. no. . . . nope.

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# ? Mar 2, 2018 17:46

Papa Was A Video Toaster

I can't remember where I heard this one:

If you arranged all the bones of a snake end to end, you would have a snake.

# ? Mar 2, 2018 19:58

DavidAlltheTime: All David...all the TIME!

If you arranged all my bones end to end, you'd have a boner because I have a sexy skeleton.

# ? Mar 2, 2018 22:20

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Academy Award Nominee The Boss Baby

# ? Mar 3, 2018 10:28

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

Cubone posted:

Academy Award Nominee The Boss Baby

Academy Award Winner Suicide Squad

# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:38

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

DavidAlltheTime posted:

If you arranged all my bones end to end, you'd have a boner because I have a sexy skeleton.

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# ? Mar 3, 2018 18:43

Farecoal: There he go

DavidAlltheTime posted:

If you arranged all my bones end to end, you'd have a boner because I have a sexy skeleton.

my boner deflates when i notice your slightly deformed ossicles

# ? Mar 3, 2018 20:39

Manifisto

if all the girls who attended the yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised if that were longer than a football field

# ? Mar 3, 2018 20:55

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Questionable Gifts

A mug saying "bored and horny"
A toilet bowl brush
fifteen thousand malted milk balls (loose)

# ? Mar 3, 2018 21:35

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Questionable Gifts

A mug saying "bored and horny"
A toilet bowl brush
fifteen thousand malted milk balls (loose)

A tooth

# ? Mar 3, 2018 22:22

Manifisto

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Questionable Gifts

A mug saying "bored and horny"
A toilet bowl brush
fifteen thousand malted milk balls (loose)

sentience

# ? Mar 3, 2018 23:15

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Cheat codes for real life
Stand in front of any npc. Press punch, punch, kick, punch, punch, kick. You can now take the npcs stuff

Use right while hiding the gas pedal to access the sidewalk lane and bypass traffic.

Want the next level with out earning it? Go down, open, suck to unlock your promotion.

# ? Mar 4, 2018 00:45

Drink-Mix Man: You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

Cheat codes for real life
Stand in front of any npc. Press punch, punch, kick, punch, punch, kick. You can now take the npcs stuff

Use right while hiding the gas pedal to access the sidewalk lane and bypass traffic.

Want the next level with out earning it? Go down, open, suck to unlock your promotion.

# ? Mar 4, 2018 02:47

krampster2

I'm Randy for objectivism

# ? Mar 4, 2018 10:55

take the moon: by sebmojo

learn psychoanalysis while youre still Jung

# ? Mar 4, 2018 16:17

Papa Was A Video Toaster

The problem with snow school is it teaches snow discipline.

# ? Mar 4, 2018 16:24

Starman Super DX: This title text is surprisingly sturdy.

What do you call having sex in a coffee shop in German?

KAFFEEBOHNEN

Tell me more!
btw ty Birdcon for the sweet spring sig

# ? Mar 4, 2018 22:06

peanut

four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie

# ? Mar 5, 2018 00:13

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Questionable Gifts

A mug saying "bored and horny"
A toilet bowl brush
fifteen thousand malted milk balls (loose)

piss

# ? Mar 5, 2018 01:01

peanut

my nickname in bed is Stoic the Vast

# ? Mar 5, 2018 07:54

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

Freddy Krueger's fingerblade gloves might have a universal iconography of overt menace to them, but I think a movie monster called "Freddy Booger" would tap into a more primal and innate sense of revulsion and terror.

I mean, you can rationalize fingerblades away as lousy weapons, more look than hook, but I think all of us will begin to hyperventilate at the thought of some creep maniac giddily and relentlessly trying to wipe his grody nose oysters all over you.

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# ? Mar 5, 2018 08:13

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

Uwe Bolls Deus Ex

# ? Mar 5, 2018 08:21

Ben Carsons Ghost

i miss fart gently caress hell

# ? Mar 5, 2018 09:01

Koishi Komeiji

Adam Sandler stars in Michael Bay's Assassin's Creed: Black Flag

Tagline: Come to the back of the boat!

# ? Mar 5, 2018 20:28

wearing a lampshade

Koishi Komeiji posted:

Adam Sandler stars in Michael Bay's Assassin's Creed: Black Flag

Tagline: Come to the back of the boat!

# ? Mar 6, 2018 02:00

Twenty Four

Koishi Komeiji posted:

Adam Sandler stars in Michael Bay's Assassin's Creed: Black Flag

Tagline: Come to the back of the boat!

I enjoyed snl celebrity jeopardy

# ? Mar 6, 2018 11:41

Abugadu: 1st Sgt. Matthews and the men have Procured for me a cummerbund from a traveling gypsy, who screeched Victory shall come at a Terrible price. i am Honored.

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Questionable Gifts

A mug saying "bored and horny"
A toilet bowl brush
fifteen thousand malted milk balls (loose)

I received a toilet bowl brush from a wretch of a human once, as a gift. It was, in retrospect, the only gift that made sense coming from him. We thought initially that he was loving with us, but sadly no.

It has now been combined with a nerf turbo football and is the trophy for last place in our league.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 13:34

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

What an awful thing for him to do! Holy heck, but I'm glad you got a neat "trophy" out of it at least.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 20:08

redm

how I think I sound ordering schezuan sauce at mcdonalds:

"My curiosity has been piqued by your newly introduced condiment, good sir. I say, would you be so kind as to provide me with an adequate number of schezuan packets to compliment my chicken selects on this fine evening?"

what the cashier hears:

"I turned myself into a pickle, morty!"

_{sig by Manifisto}

# ? Mar 6, 2018 21:56

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

redm posted:

how I think I sound ordering schezuan sauce at mcdonalds:

"My curiosity has been piqued by your newly introduced condiment, good sir. I say, would you be so kind as to provide me with an adequate number of schezuan packets to compliment my chicken selects on this fine evening?"

what the cashier hears:

"I turned myself into a pickle, morty!"

Oh god. I tried to do this at my local McD's, and the little middle-aged immigrant lady behind the counter turned around and said something to the kitchen crew in Spanish or Khmer or Laplander that made them all laugh. What language has the phrase string "cartoon watching dipshit" in it?

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# ? Mar 6, 2018 23:59

Papa Was A Video Toaster

The only safe way is to use the electronic ordering kiosk. If you don't live in the 21st century :rip:

# ? Mar 7, 2018 00:09

Twenty Four

TVsVeryOwn posted:

The only safe way is to use the electronic ordering kiosk. If you don't live in the 21st century

Some days I wonder if I am still even really alive friend. Then again I have never ordered sauce packets from a McDonalds kiosk, so I must be doing okay.

# ? Mar 7, 2018 13:25

Twenty Four

My dumb back up joke is probably stupid after I thought about it and I didn't mean it to be snarky TV, you are great and I duno, lol.

# ? Mar 7, 2018 13:49

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# ? May 15, 2024 11:03

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

you versus the guy she tells you not to worry about

# ? Mar 7, 2018 17:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

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