cjs: as thE world buttErs its poast

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > cjs: as thE world buttErs its poast

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

plz do not poop on planes. it is highly illegal and u can crash the plane if your dump is too overweight causing the planes delicately balanced airload/gas ratio to be thrown out of wack

# ? Mar 6, 2018 22:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:17

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

I had to poo poo on a plane one time and it was harrowing, I try very hard to not do it

# ? Mar 6, 2018 22:36

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

the downside to holding poops in is that you fart up a storm. I always try to evac the colon in the airport before departure

# ? Mar 6, 2018 22:37

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Jonny 290 posted:

sometimes i have wet dreams about working for the FAA because it is the driest, most policy driven, no-quarter-given, strict bureaucratic federal institutions we have

one of my neighbors develops policy for the FAA

he's the "drone guy" apparently and works from home

# ? Mar 6, 2018 22:38

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

indigi posted:

I had to poo poo on a plane one time and it was harrowing, I try very hard to not do it

but for pounding off

# ? Mar 6, 2018 22:39

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

oh I've horked the pork on a plane multiple times. plane boners are as real as plane crying

# ? Mar 6, 2018 22:41

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

indigi posted:

plane boners are as real as plane crying

the evolved form of

https://twitter.com/whoresofyore/status/969292745843109888

# ? Mar 6, 2018 22:44

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

https://twitter.com/NotEvansPosts/status/970761004664721409

# ? Mar 6, 2018 23:23

akadajet: Sep 14, 2003

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

https://twitter.com/NotEvansPosts/status/970761004664721409

that's a pretty gross place to propose

# ? Mar 6, 2018 23:32

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

cjs: going to see Wheelchair Sports Camp on thursday

kalyn is a loving warrior

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-wW-k5ToN0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8t3oDmJQa0

# ? Mar 6, 2018 23:50

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

https://twitter.com/kthorjensen/status/971151760629747712

# ? Mar 7, 2018 00:02

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

https://twitter.com/vectorpoem/status/970853016982007808

# ? Mar 7, 2018 00:31

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

in 2002 i visited a burger king in BFE ohio that still had ashtrays.

that�s my story about anachronistic smoking policies thanks for reading.

# ? Mar 7, 2018 00:51

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

that's right i'm old enough to remember when you could vape on planes

# ? Mar 7, 2018 00:55

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

i am sick and tired of all these motherfucking vapes on this motherfucking plane!!!!

# ? Mar 7, 2018 00:59

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

https://twitter.com/willmenaker/status/971062324697157632

# ? Mar 7, 2018 01:22

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

President Beep posted:

in 2002 i visited a burger king in BFE ohio that still had ashtrays.

that�s my story about anachronistic smoking policies thanks for reading.

in 1997 and 1998 i went to school in a town that had a smoking allowed grocery store

big pedestal ashtrays at the end of every aisle

it was exactly as gross as you imagine

# ? Mar 7, 2018 01:23

Xaris: Jul 25, 2006; Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do
All the things that make us
Laugh and cry

bump_fn posted:

https://twitter.com/willmenaker/status/971062324697157632

I�ve always said that if u live in America and want to kill someone, slam a car into them. it�s illegal to be convicted of a criminal murder charge if u use ur car

# ? Mar 7, 2018 01:37

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

Xaris posted:

I�ve always said that if u live in America and want to kill someone, slam a car into them. it�s illegal to be convicted of a criminal murder charge if u use ur car

unless it's a cop, in which case he can kill you in self defense for touching the gear shift

# ? Mar 7, 2018 01:40

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

https://twitter.com/ch000ch/status/735338563538178048

# ? Mar 7, 2018 01:42

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

Jonny 290 posted:

in 1997 and 1998 i went to school in a town that had a smoking allowed grocery store

big pedestal ashtrays at the end of every aisle

it was exactly as gross as you imagine

loving hell.

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:14

Sniep: Mar 28, 2004; All I needed was that fatty blunt...

King of Breakfast

my car has an ashtray with cig lighter that's recessed such to make it useless for plugging in electronics

its a 2009 lol

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:24

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

bump_fn posted:

https://twitter.com/willmenaker/status/971062324697157632

apparently had a recent history of seizures and therefore shouldn't have had a license?

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:26

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

lowtax is the new baby hitler

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:35

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

hobbesmaster posted:

apparently had a recent history of seizures and therefore shouldn't have had a license?

now that you mention it, ive never personally known anyone who�s had their license taken away due to health concerns

:thunk:

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:35

DELETE CASCADE: Oct 25, 2017; i haven't washed my penis since i jerked it to a phtotograph of george w. bush in 2003

Jonny 290 posted:

in 1997 and 1998 i went to school in a town that had a smoking allowed grocery store

big pedestal ashtrays at the end of every aisle

it was exactly as gross as you imagine

this would be an amazing business model if you meant smoking weed

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:36

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

President Beep posted:

now that you mention it, ive never personally known anyone who�s had their license taken away due to health concerns

it's kinda up to you to figure that poo poo out. I don't think your doctor's really required to notify the DMV that you've developed a seizure problem

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:37

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

indigi posted:

lowtax is the new baby hitler

no, shoot baby moot

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:42

Tatsujin: Apr 26, 2004; EVERYONE EXCEPT THE HOT WOMEN

Silver Alicorn posted:

no, shoot baby moot

shoot baby hiroyuki

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:44

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; "From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.; Buglord

Silver Alicorn posted:

no, shoot baby moot

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:45

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

indigi posted:

it's kinda up to you to figure that poo poo out. I don't think your doctor's really required to notify the DMV that you've developed a seizure problem

I've seen it happen in people who partially lose their vision due to accidents, certain types of other injuries will have them write to the DMV. not something that's done lightly even for olds, in North America taking away someone's driving privileges leads to a steep decline in quality of life

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:46

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Kenny Logins posted:

I've seen it happen in people who partially lose their vision due to accidents, certain types of other injuries will have them write to the DMV. not something that's done lightly even for olds, in North America taking away someone's driving privileges leads to a steep decline in quality of life

nyc is probably the one place where that might not be true

seizure may or may not help her escape liability, see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatism_(law)#Reflex_movements

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:54

Kenny Logins: Jan 11, 2011; EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

hobbesmaster posted:

nyc is probably the one place where that might not be true

seizure may or may not help her escape liability, see: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatism_(law)#Reflex_movements

I figure most people who don't drive in places like nyc don't have driving privileges to suspend

also olds don't live in nyc so much, they'd be too scared to drive there, and the hit to qol matters most to extreme olds (independence, keeping busy, etc)

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:57

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

linked from that page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homicidal_sleepwalking

how is that not a metal band

# ? Mar 7, 2018 02:59

Silver Alicorn: Mar 30, 2008; 𝓪 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓹𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓪 𝓲𝓼 𝓪 𝓬𝓾𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓾𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮

I will start the wiki.

# ? Mar 7, 2018 03:03

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

Pollyanna posted:

what the gently caress apparently you can poop on planes

uh yeah

indigi posted:

oh I've horked the pork on a plane multiple times. plane boners are as real as plane crying

what the gently caress

Xaris posted:

I�ve always said that if u live in America and want to kill someone, slam a car into them. it�s illegal to be convicted of a criminal murder charge if u use ur car

also dont read about hitting-people-with-cars in china

# ? Mar 7, 2018 03:26

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

graph posted:

what the gently caress

lol missed this one the first time around

# ? Mar 7, 2018 03:28

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

it has something to do with the pressure differential, it happens about 20 minutes after takeoff

# ? Mar 7, 2018 03:30

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

ive never cried on a plane nor have i ever gotten an abnormal number of boners. should i call my doc/therapist??

:ohdear:

# ? Mar 7, 2018 03:34

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 1, 2024 17:17

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

indigi posted:

it has something to do with the pressure differential, it happens about 20 minutes after takeoff

i have never heard of such a thing

# ? Mar 7, 2018 03:35

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > cjs: as thE world buttErs its poast

«‹›4734 »