Have I been lied to my entire life or what

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Have I been lied to my entire life or what

«‹›8 »

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

In another episode there were two restaurants with the same name and they all got them confused nonstop so they sat down to figure how to distinguish the restaurants between each other verbally but no matter what words they came up with it ended up offending somebody so they decided on saying "North" and "South" how they originally agreed and then at the end Elaine called Jerry and asked where he was and he said "I'm in the North!" and a Korean chef came out of the back screaming "my parents died escaping the North" and stabbed the poo poo out of Jerry

# ? Mar 18, 2018 03:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 17:35

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

"SPINE" he murmurs

# ? Mar 18, 2018 03:24

obstipator: Nov 8, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

seinfeld was one of the best shows. these new eps sound canon and i cant wait to watch them when i strap my head into the SciFi TV computer that someone will invent. I will go beside the bed of the person sleeping and wear the TV and I will see their dreams as they are happening

# ? Mar 18, 2018 04:14

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Shaggar posted:

lowtax has soybones

# ? Mar 18, 2018 04:22

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

gently caress of

# ? Mar 18, 2018 04:44

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

obstipator posted:

seinfeld was one of the best shows. these new eps sound canon and i cant wait to watch them when i strap my head into the SciFi TV computer that someone will invent. I will go beside the bed of the person sleeping and wear the TV and I will see their dreams as they are happening

you ever hear of VR? That's right. Second life. Well cnn now has a second life correspondent desk

# ? Mar 18, 2018 04:46

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Ha ha ha how could I have heard of second life......

when I don't have a first one !!!

"Ack"" - Cathy

# ? Mar 18, 2018 04:47

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Anyway there are two kinds of people in this world who understand binary,

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:08

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Lowtax posted:

They're going to remove a section of my spine on the 28th and then do a bone graft or some poo poo and put a loving metal hinge on my spine and it's gonna take like six weeks to recover and when I do I swear to God I will never again take my ability to sit in a chair for granted

are they fusing some your vertebrae or are they going for one of the stabilization techniques

my brother in law had to get a crapload of his spine fused together and had lost some of his range of motion but depending on where it�s at that�s not guaranteed to happen and you might not even notice after you recover

in summary, the spine is a land of contrasts

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:18

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

check out this $900 white T-shirt I bought from the Billionaire Boys Club

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:24

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

are they fusing some your vertebrae or are they going for one of the stabilization techniques

my brother in law had to get a crapload of his spine fused together and had lost some of his range of motion but depending on where it�s at that�s not guaranteed to happen and you might not even notice after you recover

in summary, the spine is a land of contrasts

Fusion whee

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:24

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

can you get any cool upgrades installed at the same time, like maybe a explosive bolt and rocket engine so you can detach your torso and fly it around the room like a bad guy from quake

that would be pretty neat

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:39

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

the robospine will technically make you a cyborg

unless you�re already one from having a pacemaker or contact lenses or something

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:40

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Sagebrush posted:

can you get any cool upgrades installed at the same time, like maybe a explosive bolt and rocket engine so you can detach your torso and fly it around the room like a bad guy from quake

that would be pretty neat

depending on how much metal is in it that would give you the power to fool metal detectors and let you sneak things onto airplanes

but i think you�d need a lot, like a plate in your head a lot, to do that

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:43

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

hm yeah good point. in johnny mnemonic the illegal data storage unit in johnny's brain comes up on security scans as a run-of-the-mill dyslexia implant. lowtax has a real good opportunity to add some kind of storage container and start smuggling long thin objects e.g. umbrellas, flashlights, zucchini

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:47

Mo_Steel: Mar 7, 2008; Let's Clock Into The Sunset Together; Fun Shoe

Lowtax posted:

Somebody fix my spine on the cheap

This is loving bullshit 10 days until surgery costs loving five grand and I will be stuck in bed for like six weeks gently caress my spine you vengeful bullshit Mayan god

serious recommendations - a few things that may be helpful as you recover because it may probably be difficult to bend / twist your back for like a year are:

a good reaching tool (claw on one end, squeeze trigger on the other; some even lock in place); you will want this if you drop anything (phone, fork, clothes, pills)
a long-handled shoe horn, because putting on shoes is a bitch if you cant bend over and the heel gets caught
a sock helper - these look like a piece of pvc with two ropes and it sounds dumb as gently caress but they are a godsend: you put the sock on the tube then just slide your foot in and pull the ropes towards your chest and it slides the sock off the pvc and onto your foot. i'm not even kidding this thing blew my loving mind.
loose fitting clothing: it's just easier to put on without twisting which is a huge plus

i'm sure they'll have their own recommendations and physical therapy and poo poo specific to your spine, but this was my experience when they took both my hips out a few years back.

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:53

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Sagebrush posted:

hm yeah good point. in johnny mnemonic the illegal data storage unit in johnny's brain comes up on security scans as a run-of-the-mill dyslexia implant. lowtax has a real good opportunity to add some kind of storage container and start smuggling long thin objects e.g. umbrellas, flashlights, zucchini

*retrieves vape pen from spinal storage in airplane bathroom*

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:57

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Mo_Steel posted:

but this was my experience when they took both my hips out a few years back.

i�ve heard the operation for getting robot legs is a risky one how true is that

# ? Mar 18, 2018 05:58

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

I warsh mahself with a rag on a stick

# ? Mar 18, 2018 06:01

jony neuemonic: Nov 13, 2009

Mo_Steel posted:

they took both my hips out a few years back.

# ? Mar 18, 2018 06:02

Mo_Steel: Mar 7, 2008; Let's Clock Into The Sunset Together; Fun Shoe

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

i�ve heard the operation for getting robot legs is a risky one how true is that

apparently i was under for 11 hours and they almost had to stop due to blood loss.

i think i walk better than those boston dynamics robots but then again i dont have anyone testing me by trying to kick me over at full force so :shrug:

jony neuemonic posted:

in fairness to the doctors both my hips were broken so it seemed like a reasonable suggestion that they be removed.

# ? Mar 18, 2018 06:04

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Mo_Steel posted:

apparently i was under for 11 hours and they almost had to stop due to blood loss.

i think i walk better than those boston dynamics robots but then again i dont have anyone testing me by trying to kick me over at full force so

in fairness to the doctors both my hips were broken so it seemed like a reasonable suggestion that they be removed.

what happened to you :ohdear:

# ? Mar 18, 2018 06:07

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Captain Foo posted:

what happened to you

Didn't spring extra for artic silver thermal paste

# ? Mar 18, 2018 06:20

Mo_Steel: Mar 7, 2008; Let's Clock Into The Sunset Together; Fun Shoe

i found one of those CRT monitors in a closet that had been running for at least a decade untouched and i pressed the degauss button

woke up in the hospital with two broken hips and super powers.

# ? Mar 18, 2018 06:23

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Mo_Steel posted:

i found one of those CRT monitors in a closet that had been running for at least a decade untouched and i pressed the degauss button

woke up in the hospital with two broken hips and super powers.

*Pop* aaaahhhhh

Those stupid loving degauss your monitors threads from 2001 drove me nuts

# ? Mar 18, 2018 06:29

FamDav: Mar 29, 2008

Mo_Steel posted:

i found one of those CRT monitors in a closet that had been running for at least a decade untouched and i pressed the degauss button

woke up in the hospital with two broken hips and super powers.

wait so is this a meme

# ? Mar 18, 2018 06:53

r u ready to WALK: Sep 29, 2001

When they inevitably have to turn your body into a robot, would you rather be an Ed or a Murphy?

Or maybe a Johnny?

# ? Mar 18, 2018 07:38

President Beep: Apr 30, 2009; i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

i wanna be like bender. he knows how to have fun. no existential angst bullshit.

# ? Mar 18, 2018 11:12

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Lowtax now

Lowtax post surgery

# ? Mar 18, 2018 12:20

obstipator: Nov 8, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

when u get computer installed in your spine, u will become as power as terminator or maybe judge dredd. when that happens, please use your enhanced judging powers for good. become a supreme court justice instead of using ur judging powers for evil (killing cannibals, cant remember what else he did in that movie, etc)

# ? Mar 18, 2018 12:45

Doom Mathematic: Sep 2, 2008

Sorry about your horrible spinal thing, Lowtax. That sucks.

# ? Mar 18, 2018 13:50

30 TO 50 FERAL HOG: Mar 2, 2005

Lowtax posted:

In another episode there were two restaurants with the same name and they all got them confused nonstop so they sat down to figure how to distinguish the restaurants between each other verbally but no matter what words they came up with it ended up offending somebody so they decided on saying "North" and "South" how they originally agreed and then at the end Elaine called Jerry and asked where he was and he said "I'm in the North!" and a Korean chef came out of the back screaming "my parents died escaping the North" and stabbed the poo poo out of Jerry

Lmao

# ? Mar 18, 2018 14:43

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

obstipator posted:

when u get computer installed in your spine, u will become as power as terminator or maybe judge dredd. when that happens, please use your enhanced judging powers for good. become a supreme court justice instead of using ur judging powers for evil (killing cannibals, cant remember what else he did in that movie, etc)

I judge the defendant GUILTY of being dead in my basement

# ? Mar 18, 2018 15:20

Lowtax: Nov 16, 1999; by Skyl3lazer

Doom Mathematic posted:

Sorry about your horrible spinal thing, Lowtax. That sucks.

Thank you. It's okay I was banned from Twitter so I don't have to worry about reading Chelsea Manning tweets at least

# ? Mar 18, 2018 15:21

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Lowtax posted:

Thank you. It's okay I was banned from Twitter so I don't have to worry about reading Chelsea Manning tweets at least

Why wouldn't you want to read her tweets

# ? Mar 18, 2018 15:40

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

the only emoji-littered tweets i wanna read are ashley feinberg�s holiday ones

# ? Mar 18, 2018 16:07