Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

yeah I eat rear end posted:

That second one just makes magic sound lame as hell.

Almost like it's all entirely fake, even, and that anything that happens has nothing to do with the spells you're casting or whatever.

haven't you read the magicians? it's like math but there's no calculators

# ? Mar 22, 2018 16:01

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# ? May 10, 2024 05:43

A Strange Aeon: Mar 26, 2010; You are now a slimy little toad; The Great Twist

Reminds me of that quote about luck:

"I'm a firm believer in luck and find that the harder I work at something, the more luck I have."

# ? Mar 22, 2018 16:08

RCarr: Dec 24, 2007

Yea there's one in sports as well. "The more I practice, the luckier I get."

# ? Mar 22, 2018 16:28

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

loquacius posted:

It makes magic sound a lot like prayer or positive thinking

Magic is prayer or positive thinking, and the more honest writers'll admit it. I spent a ridiculously long time obsessed with occult stuff; I still read up on it a lot, but less because I believe and more because I'm fascinated. Back in the mid-90s when Wicca started taking off (such as it was), many of the more prominent Wiccan and neopagan authors would come right out and say "now, will casting this spell make you rich? Maybe. Or maybe it will just help you focus your energies and attention in a way that makes it easier to save money and make responsible financial decisions" and so on and so forth. Some would just hint at it obliquely instead of coming out and saying it, but there were always oblique hints. It's all power of positive thinking stuff.

That doesn't make it bad, mind you - I know people who really and truly have improved their lives through magic, just like I know people who really and truly have improved their lives through prayer and I know other people who really and truly improved their lives thanks to The Secret. But if you're expecting to learn how to throw fireballs, well, you're poo poo outta luck.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 18:10

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

But if you're expecting to learn how to throw fireballs, well, you're poo poo outta luck.

The secret to throwing fireballs is a tennis ball, a needle, gasoline(lighterfluid works too), and shaving cream.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 18:16

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I'm at work, can someone please post the "lightning bolt, lightning bolt" ping pong balls wizard please.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 18:40

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Magic is prayer or positive thinking, and the more honest writers'll admit it. I spent a ridiculously long time obsessed with occult stuff; I still read up on it a lot, but less because I believe and more because I'm fascinated. Back in the mid-90s when Wicca started taking off (such as it was), many of the more prominent Wiccan and neopagan authors would come right out and say "now, will casting this spell make you rich? Maybe. Or maybe it will just help you focus your energies and attention in a way that makes it easier to save money and make responsible financial decisions" and so on and so forth. Some would just hint at it obliquely instead of coming out and saying it, but there were always oblique hints. It's all power of positive thinking stuff.

That doesn't make it bad, mind you - I know people who really and truly have improved their lives through magic, just like I know people who really and truly have improved their lives through prayer and I know other people who really and truly improved their lives thanks to The Secret. But if you're expecting to learn how to throw fireballs, well, you're poo poo outta luck.

I don't really like this because it implies some form of magic is real, just not the harry potter poo poo. I don't deny that some people have been helped by believing in magic, but they could have probably gotten that same help through learning better life skills directly without all the mysticism. It's those skills that are helping people, not the magic.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 18:49

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I don't really like this because it implies some form of magic is real, just not the harry potter poo poo. I don't deny that some people have been helped by believing in magic, but they could have probably gotten that same help through learning better life skills directly without all the mysticism. It's those skills that are helping people, not the magic.

What does it hurt to let them believe in magic? Does it somehow make the world a better place, or do you insist that everyone occupy the same joyless disillusioned state of mind as the average goon?

# ? Mar 22, 2018 18:55

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

RFC2324 posted:

... insist that everyone occupy the same joyless disillusioned state of mind as the average goon?

Isn't this why we're all here?

# ? Mar 22, 2018 18:58

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

I agree, it's a bad thing when all members of a functioning society have a firm grip on reality

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:01

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I don't believe in being able to affect luck, but I sure as poo poo have a ton of it. Maybe magic relies on committing a bunch of crimes and doing a bunch of drugs in your teens and early to mid 20's?

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:03

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

yeah I eat rear end posted:

I don't really like this because it implies some form of magic is real, just not the harry potter poo poo. I don't deny that some people have been helped by believing in magic, but they could have probably gotten that same help through learning better life skills directly without all the mysticism. It's those skills that are helping people, not the magic.

Like it or don't like it; that's up to you. Doesn't change anything, really. "Magic" is a framework for some people to build a better mindset and better life skills on, in the same way that "faith" is a framework for other people or "a positive attitude" is a framework for others or "rational secularism" is a framework for still others. The important thing, IMHO, is the better mindset and life skills; whatever framework provides the support for someone to hang those things on is okay by me. I guess I just don't get why it's not okay by you.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:03

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

RFC2324 posted:

What does it hurt to let them believe in magic? Does it somehow make the world a better place, or do you insist that everyone occupy the same joyless disillusioned state of mind as the average goon?

It's a good thing if people can find help through something bullshit like magic, but it's a better thing if they directly address the problem instead.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:04

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

DandyLion posted:

Isn't this why we're all here?

Some of us aren't average, and far exceed even average levels of goon joylessness :colbert:

This implies that someone here has joy to balance it out.

ALFbrot posted:

I agree, it's a bad thing when all members of a functioning society have a firm grip on reality

As long as you don't think you are making miracles or driven by some higher calling to hurt people, what does it actually hurt to have these little things that help get through the day? And those things are things to watch out for even in people who don't believe in anything. Broken people are broken people, no matter what they believe.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:04

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

I'm glad I live in a society where psychic hotlines still make money in the year two thousand and eighteen

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:05

420 SWAGLORD: Apr 20, 2014; saban bajramovic

ALFbrot posted:

I agree, it's a bad thing when all members of a functioning society have a firm grip on reality

In this 'grip on reality' metaphor magic would be the hand for some people, just like logic or whatever is for you. Hth

Like it sounds great on paper, but in practice there is too drat much knowledge out there for anyone to actually be operating with a working understanding of everything going on around them. If you think you're being purely logical and everything you do is based in fact, you either have an incredibly narrow focus or are delusional. At least the magic guy acknowledges there are forces in the world they cannot comprehend instead of just pretending he knows what's going on

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:15

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

420 SWAGLORD posted:

In this 'grip on reality' metaphor magic would be the hand for some people, just like logic or whatever is for you. Hth

Like it sounds great on paper, but in practice there is too drat much knowledge out there for anyone to actually be operating with a working understanding of everything going on around them. If you think you're being purely logical and everything you do is based in fact, you either have an incredibly narrow focus or are delusional. At least the magic guy acknowledges there are forces in the world they cannot comprehend instead of just pretending he knows what's going on

lmao

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:18

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

maybe magic actually IS real you guys, and i'm the bozo!!!

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:18

420 SWAGLORD: Apr 20, 2014; saban bajramovic

ALFbrot posted:

maybe magic actually IS real you guys, and i'm the bozo!!!

One of these things is true

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:25

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

420 SWAGLORD posted:

In this 'grip on reality' metaphor magic would be the hand for some people, just like logic or whatever is for you. Hth

Like it sounds great on paper, but in practice there is too drat much knowledge out there for anyone to actually be operating with a working understanding of everything going on around them. If you think you're being purely logical and everything you do is based in fact, you either have an incredibly narrow focus or are delusional. At least the magic guy acknowledges there are forces in the world they cannot comprehend instead of just pretending he knows what's going on

You can acknowledge we don't know a shitload of what is going on in the world while still believing with almost certainty that lighting a certain color of candle or burning specific herbs will get you a raise at work or whatever. It's like saying "well we were wrong about scientific things before, therefore we live on the back of the great world turtle who carries us on his mighty shell throughout the universe".

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:25

RCarr: Dec 24, 2007

yeah I eat rear end posted:

therefore we live on the back of the great world turtle who carries us on his mighty shell throughout the universe".

Yea but you can't prove that we DON'T so therefore we have to accept we might.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:27

420 SWAGLORD: Apr 20, 2014; saban bajramovic

yeah I eat rear end posted:

You can acknowledge we don't know a shitload of what is going on in the world while still believing with almost certainty that lighting a certain color of candle or burning specific herbs will get you a raise at work or whatever. It's like saying "well we were wrong about scientific things before, therefore we live on the back of the great world turtle who carries us on his mighty shell throughout the universe".

Imagine the herb is weed. No one in the world has figured out what the heck THC or an endocannibanoid system is, some wizard just sold it to you as an Incense of Relaxation or whatever. Smoke this magic herb and you will chill the heck out. It still does the same thing whether you're a scientist who understands its mechanism, a primitive who thinks the gods provided it for his comfort, or a kid on the bus who just knows his cousin says it'll gently caress you up

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:31

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

420 SWAGLORD posted:

Imagine the herb is weed. No one in the world has figured out what the heck THC or an endocannibanoid system is, some wizard just sold it to you as an Incense of Relaxation or whatever. Smoke this magic herb and you will chill the heck out. It still does the same thing whether you're a scientist who understands its mechanism, a primitive who thinks the gods provided it for his comfort, or a kid on the bus who just knows his cousin says it'll gently caress you up

lol i stopped reading after that first sentence. like how can you write that when trying to make a serious point

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:36

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

420 SWAGLORD posted:

Imagine the herb is weed. No one in the world has figured out what the heck THC or an endocannibanoid system is, some wizard just sold it to you as an Incense of Relaxation or whatever. Smoke this magic herb and you will chill the heck out. It still does the same thing whether you're a scientist who understands its mechanism, a primitive who thinks the gods provided it for his comfort, or a kid on the bus who just knows his cousin says it'll gently caress you up

drat dude

Have you ever thought about, like, what if my "blue" looks like your "red"!?!?

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:37

sandoz: Jan 29, 2009

makes ya think

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:41

RCarr: Dec 24, 2007

A fitting post coming from one "420 Swaglord."

# ? Mar 22, 2018 19:41

420 SWAGLORD: Apr 20, 2014; saban bajramovic

RCarr posted:

A fitting post coming from one "420 Swaglord."

I'm a 69th level weed-o-mancer

# ? Mar 22, 2018 20:15

jizzy sillage: Aug 13, 2006

420 SWAGLORD posted:

I'm a 69th level weed-o-mancer

But there are only 68 levels :confused:

# ? Mar 22, 2018 21:21

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Maybe the real magic was the friends we made along the way

# ? Mar 22, 2018 21:56

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

SciFiDownBeat posted:

Maybe the real magic was the friends we made along the way

This is always the answer.

# ? Mar 22, 2018 21:58

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

Once you achieve the 419th degree the levels start again

# ? Mar 22, 2018 21:59

802.11weed: May 9, 2007; ^no

*casts a spell of Shut the hell up on u*

# ? Mar 22, 2018 23:32

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

SciFiDownBeat posted:

Maybe the real magic was the friends we made along the way

You could say... Friendship is Magic?

# ? Mar 23, 2018 08:29

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Inescapable Duck posted:

You could say... Friendship is Magic?

You go too far sir!

# ? Mar 23, 2018 13:44

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

RFC2324 posted:

What does it hurt to let them believe in magic? Does it somehow make the world a better place, or do you insist that everyone occupy the same joyless disillusioned state of mind as the average goon?

Site's been dead for years but http://whatstheharm.net

# ? Mar 23, 2018 14:10

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Splicer posted:

Site's been dead for years but http://whatstheharm.net

"Here's 58 people that were hurt by not thinking critically"
*lists 5 people

# ? Mar 23, 2018 14:14

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

It's all fun and games when it's comfortabe and well-off people wasting disposable income, but when people with real problems and desperation get involved, misery results.

# ? Mar 23, 2018 14:17

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Like all those Black Salve stories.

edit:

Can't find the original anymore, but there's a thousand knock offs:

https://www.wereblog.com/black-salve-left-huge-hole-in-womans-nose

This one had the original "before" picture which I thought was important.

Solice Kirsk fucked around with this message at 14:56 on Mar 23, 2018

# ? Mar 23, 2018 14:52

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

quote:

I think enough time has gone by that I can tell this story without getting into trouble. (It is about five or six years bavk) and is the story about how my boss paid me to kill someone to avoid having to pay them a worker's comp claim, and how I didn't even know that's what I was doing.

Flashback to '12. It was a warehouse in the middle of Pennsylvania where a company which we will call 'Hamazon' was expanding their poo poo, and they were hiring more people to work with us old timers (ok us old timers were like, 20 year old college rejects who'd been stuck here enough to know the way around at least). They were not hiring the best of the best here is what I am saying.

Phil was the worst guy on the clown squad I got to train, and he was into alcohol, Percs and some kind of oxy. Never showed up on time, missed one shift a week, sometimes couldn't follow basic directions, that kind of thing. He was like 40 with no friends but followed me around like a puppy because I yelled at him like my JROTC drillie did at me in high school, and I think at some level he appreciated that because he could at least function at that level instead of being useless.

If any of you know forklifts they are 100% a great way to gently caress up hugest if you're not paying attention or a dumbwit and Phil was both of those things, they let him operate a forklift when we were shorthanded anyway. What I heard is that he tore off a packing strap and tried to reach/climb out from the cab to pull it off while the forklift was rolling, and managed to run over his lower right leg. I know you're thinking, "uhh... what about the deadman switch" thats supposed to shut off the thing when you step out, but that's because you never worked for Hamazon back then because every single one of those fuckers had a bypassed deadman.

Phil is laid up at home and the lead supe is bitching about having to pay comp, because he knows if he fights the claim there'll be an inspection and they'll find the thousand things we're doing efficiently and that only hurt fuckwits but are technically against regs. One day he gives me a couple of bottles of Mill Creek (some dubious whiskey, I know fuckall about whiskey) and says, "I'll comp you for the rest of shift if you run these over to Phil and have a drink with him, cause he's your friend."

Well from a certain perspectibe that was kinda true, and he was the head supervisor, so I walked up to Phil's place and spent half an hour shooting it with him, had a drink with the man, found he was a lot more tolereble when he was on painkillers and not under pressure to, like, do anything useful, and went home.

On Monday my boss announced Phil had died.

He'd overdosed on the prescription painkillers he'd been given for his broken leg, I guess not being used to stronger poo poo than he was taking for fun, and he'd finished both bottles of Mill Creek over the weekend which surely didn't help.

When I got that paycheck, supe had set down a couple extra hours of overtime. He was pretty smug about not having Phil around any more, and kinda vaguely hinted that was his intention, sending his work buddy over to ply him with whiskey get him started on what he shouldn't have been drinking, and generally telling me to shut up and not talk about it ever.

I didn't, until now.

I don't think you did anything wrong here but your (old?) boss is an rear end in a top hat

There's enough plausible deniability here that you can't really call either one of you a murderer (all he did was give you some whiskey and all you did was drink it) but it's kind of hard for me to avoid thinking of him as one if he intentionally engineered a situation where someone would probably accidentally kill themselves so nobody would find out he was cutting corners at a warehouse

Like, dude, take the bureaucratic hit, it's not like the higher-ups would actually hold you accountable for it

Puppetmaster update:

quote:

I haven't sent in any confessions. Or really posted much in a while.

I met a girl

Funny how having some human contact reduces the urge to troll these gay forums.

Awwwww

# ? Mar 23, 2018 14:59

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# ? May 10, 2024 05:43

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

I was hoping the whiskey was spiked with a bunch of percs or something. Thats some low grade murder crap.

# ? Mar 23, 2018 15:05

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