LPFWA 2k18 - We Killed The Business - The Something Awful Forums

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DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Oh dear.

# ? Feb 17, 2018 22:20

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 22:08

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Goat-Man (c) vs. Lore Convoluter for the Buscus
2nd Match: Lotus Aura vs. Bone Pimp
3rd Match: Tolvie vs. DCB
4th Match: Kylo Ren vs. Star Pilot Flamander (c) for the Bunny Title :3
5th Match: Rag-Tag Misfits vs. Hugrule Warriors
Main Event: Valerie Easton vs. Lady of the Lancet (c) for the Kawaii Title.
Bonus Match: DCB vs. Charlotte

# ? Feb 17, 2018 22:44

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Episode #14 - Lotta Powerful Flips Win Adoration - (Twitch VOD)

Lotta Powerful Flips Win Adoration -DivineCoffeeBinge
Lady Pounded Frenetically (by) Worthy Adversary -Zephyr

IGgy IGsen posted:

He yo!

The next episode will happen on Saturday
Since Ric Flair has been defeated by Toad we need to find a new opponent as well as someone to challenge them. You can vote on that here

I've added a bot to my twitch for the next stream which will allow for actually placing bets as the show goes on and starting chants that will be audible on stream. I will probably tweak the latter if it gets too much.

You can find the match card below. We're alreaedy building to our next PPV, Sacrific-E

#1 Buscus Brawl
Majestic Goat-Man (c) vs. Lore Convoluter

#2 Singles
Lotus Aura vs. Bone Pimp

#3 Singles
Tolvie vs. DCB

#4 Bunny Championship
Kylo Ren vs. Star Pilot Flamander

#5 Trio Tornado Tag
Angus McMutton, Tommy Wiseau and Schir vs. Hugrule Warriors

#6 Kawaii Championship (Hardcore Match)
Valerie Easton vs. Lady of the Lancet (c)

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
Vote who's goin against who!

yerpalhal, post:81, topic:2484, full:true posted:

So its time is it�finally time for me tae rise up and begin my slow climb to make a rug oot o thon hide of that dram stealing pissant Rendar, Course in order tae rise to lofty heights i must pair wie Wiseau and schir tae send the hugrule warriors back tae whitever costume shop they came fae. Also DCB hen may i suggest cutting oot thon beans and swig some of thae irn bru. Think on it hen DBF Divine BRU Fiend yae will be unstoppable like me and my posse will�

Vanderlyle, post:82, topic:2484, full:true posted:

�Mira tu, McMutton, I�m uh, not entirely sure, but that sounded like you made fun of my friends, and I�m not gonna let that slide, preparate para la paliza mas grande de tu vida.�

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Oh dear.

IGgy IGsen posted:

Hell-Ena attacks Lady of the Lancet backstage, defeating her for the Pokeymanz title

#1 Buscus Brawl
Majestic Goat-Man (c) vs. Lore Convoluter
Lore takes the win, but at what cost? These guys beat each other up hard.

#2 Singles
Lotus Aura vs. Bone Pimp
After presumably training Lotus is on the upswing and beats Bone Pimp

Scene: IGgy tells Toad about some match where he beat up Kurt Angle in his dream so now he has to fight Scott Steiner for real at Sacrific-E

#3 Singles
Tolvie vs. DCB
Tolvie wins

Scene: Jeff Lyfe interviews Palpy and Kylo on Kylo's upcoming challenge for the Bunny Title :3
Palpy takes a dump on the belt while announcing he'll go for a tree next while Kylo tries to sell his challenge as some kind of revenge for Palpy losing

#4 Bunny Championship
Kylo Ren vs. Star Pilot Flamander
Flamander doesn't take Kylo seriously at all, he keeps taunting and often just stands there to wait. You'd thing this would bite Flamander in the rear end but he still won

#5 Trio Tornado Tag
Unlikely Roommates vs. Hugrule Warriors
After Schir performs the Space Funeral on Fruitsniffer Angus goes for the pin on Fruity while Schir distracts the next guy. True teamwork.

#6 Kawaii Championship (Hardcore Match)
Valerie Easton vs. Lady of the Lancet (c)
After a Baseball Bat to thead of Lady of the Lancet followed by a Kiss of Death Val takes her title back

#0 LPFWA vs. The Universe
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Charlotte
Charlotte wins

yerpalhal, post:85, topic:2484, full:true posted:

Ye tried yuir best hugrule warriors i rescind my previous snark and offer youse the bru of friendship. youse fought well as true warriors and i respect that greatly as a warrior mysel. as for thon schir and strange talking man i like youse�i hope we kin fight taegither again in thae future as kin

Vanderlyle, post:87, topic:2484, full:true posted:

�You�re not as bad a person as I thought, McMutton, maybe we can fight on the same side next time, tal vez hasta compartir unas birras.�

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

This just means I got two losses out of the way, bringing me that much closer to my record-setting winning streak!

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Feb 21, 2018

# ? Feb 18, 2018 17:12

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

This just means I got two losses out of the way, bringing me that much closer to my record-setting winning streak!

# ? Feb 18, 2018 17:47

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Below's the match card for Saturday at the usual time.
I'll also be experimenting with Twitch's Premiere feature. 30 Minutes before the show you can come to the channel to watch an old match from LPFWA Season 1 or 2. (Season 1 will have "Director's Commentary" as there wasn't originally any commentary.)
Basically what this means is that if you show up early a video plays for everyone to see and you can hang out and stuff. Hopefully it'll be cool and fun.

First up we'll have Sterv vs. Loki to determine a new LPFWA Champion after the original title got stolen and was replaced with a plastic replica from the merch store. You can go to this page to set a reminder and whatnot

Also don't forget to vote on who goes against Charlotte

There will be matches!

#1 Buscus Brawl
Majestic Goat-Man (c) vs. Bone Pimp

#2 Singles Match
Macro Man Keynes vs. Thundercat Chris Pine

#3 Four-Way
Dr. Ham vs. Woolsey Smythe vs. D the Destroyer vs. Face

#4 Bunny Championship :3
IGgy vs. Flamander (c)

#5 Singles Match
Garbo Barba vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

BONUS MATCH: LPFWA vs. The Universe.
https://goo.gl/forms/MwplisqyvV0HHp8w1 vs. Charlotte

MAIN EVENT: Co-Comm Championship
Unlikely Roommates (Angus & Tommy W.) vs. Freddie Hope & Flamander (c)

# ? Feb 21, 2018 20:49

Aesculus: Mar 22, 2013

IGgy IGsen posted:

#2 Singles Match
Macro Man Keynes vs. Thundercat Chris Pine

You don't understand, Thundercat Chris Pine, what the Macro Man has in stock for you! You're going to go DOWN, yeah! Your house prices will go down! The value of your assets will go down! It's all going DOWN, because you are going to fail, and you are going to fall, to the Interest Rate Fall! RIGHT NOW YEAH!

Aesculus fucked around with this message at 23:07 on Feb 21, 2018

# ? Feb 21, 2018 22:57

Double May Care: Mar 28, 2012; We need Dragon-type Pokemon to help us prepare our food before we cook it. We're not sure why!

Valerie is lying face-down on a bench in the locker room, belt in hand.

Huh? Where am I?

You're where you belong, Valuhrie: on top!

Wait, the title? I'm champion again?

Again? Oh no, you never lost! That's not like you!

But I remember, Hell-ena, she was... Ugh, it's all a blur.

Don't fret at all! You were just riding the high of a successful defense against Lady. All the pressure of being champion is taking its toll, isn't it?

I suppose so... Where's the Pokeymanz Title?

Hell-ena! She took it, she did! While you were sleeping, she came in and pinned you!

Oh... Well, that's too bad. Good thing I still have this.

Val starts walking toward the gym.

Yes, good thing... That joyride produced such wonderful results!

What was that?

Nothing! I said nothing!

Yes you did. You're in my head, not in another room or something.

_{Soon, Valxis. Soon...}

# ? Feb 22, 2018 01:45

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Valerie, you're looking a little... groggy? Peaked? I don't know, one of those.

Here! Have some coffee! It makes everything better! You can add cream and sugar, even, if that's your thing!

# ? Feb 22, 2018 04:26

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Majestic Goat-Man (c) vs. Bone Pimp for the Buscus
2nd Match: Macro Man Keynes vs. Thundercat Chris Pine
3rd Match: Dr. Ham vs. Woolsey Smyteh vs. D the Destroyer vs. Face
4th Match: IGgy vs. Flamander (c) for the Bunny Title :3
5th Match: Garbo Barba vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
Intermission: Samus Aran vs. Charlotte (WWE)
Main Event: Unlikely Rommates vs. Hope & Flamander (c) for the Co-Comm Titles

# ? Feb 24, 2018 22:44

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Episode #15 - Lacerations Proliferate From Worm! Awesome! - (Twitch VOD)
Pre Show: LPFWA Best Bouts #1 - Sterv vs. Loki Tournament Finals from LPFWA 2k14
Episode Title by DivineCoffeeBinge

Alternate Titles:
Lacerations Proliferate From Wicked Assaults - DivineCoffeeBinge
Legendary Powers Face Wrath of Angus - YerPalHal
Large People Feature Wobbly Anguish - Deathmaster780

IGgy IGsen posted:

Below's the match card for Saturday at the usual time.
I'll also be experimenting with Twitch's Premiere feature. 30 Minutes before the show you can come to the channel to watch an old match from LPFWA Season 1 or 2. (Season 1 will have "Director's Commentary" as there wasn't originally any commentary.)
Basically what this means is that if you show up early a video plays for everyone to see and you can hang out and stuff. Hopefully it'll be cool and fun.

First up we'll have Sterv vs. Loki to determine a new LPFWA Champion after the original title got stolen and was replaced with a plastic replica from the merch store. You can go to this page to set a reminder and whatnot

Also don't forget to vote on who goes against Charlotte

There will be matches!

#1 Buscus Brawl
Majestic Goat-Man (c) vs. Bone Pimp

#2 Singles Match
Macro Man Keynes vs. Thundercat Chris Pine

#3 Four-Way
Dr. Ham vs. Woolsey Smythe vs. D the Destroyer vs. Face

#4 Bunny Championship :3
IGgy vs. Flamander (c)

#5 Singles Match
Garbo Barba vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

BONUS MATCH: LPFWA vs. The Universe.
https://goo.gl/forms/MwplisqyvV0HHp8w1 vs. Charlotte

MAIN EVENT: Co-Comm Championship
Unlikely Roommates (Angus & Tommy W.) vs. Freddie Hope & Flamander (c)

Aesculus posted:

You don't understand, Thundercat Chris Pine, what the Macro Man has in stock for you! You're going to go DOWN, yeah! Your house prices will go down! The value of your assets will go down! It's all going DOWN, because you are going to fail, and you are going to fall, to the Interest Rate Fall! RIGHT NOW YEAH!

Rather Watch Them posted:

Valerie is lying face-down on a bench in the locker room, belt in hand.

Huh? Where am I?
You're where you belong, Valuhrie: on top!
Wait, the title? I'm champion again?
Again? Oh no, you never lost! That's not like you!
But I remember, Hell-ena, she was... Ugh, it's all a blur.
Don't fret at all! You were just riding the high of a successful defense against Lady. All the pressure of being champion is taking its toll, isn't it?
I suppose so... Where's the Pokeymanz Title?
Hell-ena! She took it, she did! While you were sleeping, she came in and pinned you!
Oh... Well, that's too bad. Good thing I still have this.

Val starts walking toward the gym.

Yes, good thing... That joyride produced such wonderful results!
What was that?
Nothing! I said nothing!
Yes you did. You're in my head, not in another room or something.
_{Soon, Valxis. Soon...}

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Valerie, you're looking a little... groggy? Peaked? I don't know, one of those.

Here! Have some coffee! It makes everything better! You can add cream and sugar, even, if that's your thing!

yerpalhal, post:89, topic:2484, full:true posted:

I musta drank the wrang stuff today it says i huv a title shot in only mah second go round in this place. Ah knew ah wuz nova scotia champ before ah fell asleep from thae dram and ended up oan thon moon but noo i huv to fight the heroes o the moon themsel�Tommy my man we need the good stuff�aye the stuff ye hud when ye did that samurai cop 2 thing.

quote:

#1 Buscus Brawl
Majestic Goat-Man (c) vs. Bone Pimp
Goat-Man finally does it! He rids himself of the Buscus!

#2 Singles Match
Macro Man Keynes vs. Thundercat Chris Pine
Strong debut for Keynes, who defeated Chris Pine via Pinfall

Scene: Scott Steiner scouts Toad and offers him some Pancakes

#3 Four-Way
Dr. Ham vs. Woolsey Smythe vs. D the Destroyer vs. Face
Basically everyone was dead in the ring with only D standing tall, well, kinda.

Scene: Jeff Lyfe interviews IGgy on why he booked himself into a title match, that rascal

#4 Bunny Championship :3
IGgy vs. Flamander (c)
Flamander pulls out all the cool moves to school IGgy

#5 Singles Match
Garbo Barba vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
Not today... Garbo Barba wins

BONUS MATCH: LPFWA vs. The Universe.
Samus Aran vs. Charlotte
Samus wins after a neat sequence ending in a screw attack

Scene: Nuffkins considers opponents for his next Title defense at Sacrific-E but ultimately he's torn between two opponents. Could this mean... ? A three way? At Sacrific-E?

MAIN EVENT: Co-Comm Championship
Unlikely Roommates (Angus & Tommy W.) vs. Freddie Hope & Flamander (c)
Wow, they went at it for long. But eventually our champions retained

Scene: Fred Hope and Flamander challenge each other, they will go one on one in a 20 minute Iron Man Match like they did about four years ago in the Sacrific-E arena

yerpalhal, post:91, topic:2484, full:true posted:

That wis the hardest fought battle ah huv ever faced. Even harder than broken bottle boxing with rat arsed mcgee behind the local greggs in shitehill. Whit wis ah expecting to happen fighting the two god like warriors who sent the moon rocketing in the first place. Ah well I shall be at Sacrific�e either way tae witness two gods goin at it�jist try no tae kill us lads.

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 12:37 on Mar 11, 2018

# ? Feb 25, 2018 18:35

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

All right! Next show will be a big one. Because it will be in the hallowed halls of Sacrific-E!

The show will be at the usual time

If you want to show up early I will air the original Iron Man Match between Fred Hope and Flamander from Season 2 half an hour before that.
We can hang in chat, talk about the match, LPFWA and sledgehammers. It was fun when we did it last week with Loki vs. Sterv.

The above links go to twitch events, so you can set a reminder if you want.

You may also vote on this week's bonus match: https://goo.gl/forms/eOYfDLRyi0ecq6p63
In fact, if you want you can even surprise me because there's one option I included that I'm afraid will almost certainly win.

Anyway, here's the match card!

#1 Eight-Man Elimination Fuckfest
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Woolsey Smythe vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Dr. Ham vs. Dash Rendar vs. Kylo Ren

#2 Co-Comm Title Match
Hugrule Warriors (Fruitsniffer and El Catire Arrecho) vs. Freddie Hope & Flamander (c)

#3 Pokeymanz Title Match
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Hell-Ena (c)

#4 LP Superstar Championship - Hell in a Cell
Palpatine vs. a tree (c)

#5 Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't win so he's not even gonna try.
Toad vs. Scott Steiner

#6 LPFWA Championship Match - Three-Way at Sacrific-E
Lotus Aura vs. anilEhilated vs. Nuffkins (c)

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe (Match might move to a different spot in the card)
https://goo.gl/forms/eOYfDLRyi0ecq6p63

#7 Kawaii Championship
Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton (c)[/b]

Main Event: Bunny Championship :3 - 20 Minute Iron Man, Hardcore Match.
Frederick Hope vs. Flamander (c)

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 22:43 on Feb 28, 2018

# ? Feb 28, 2018 22:37

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

The poll has decided...

Seeya tomorrow at the big show. Or thirty minutes before if you wanna watch the first iron man match Fred Hope and Flamander had. The Main Event of Sacrific-E will be the rematch.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 01:12

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

IGgy IGsen posted:

The poll has decided...

Seeya tomorrow at the big show. Or thirty minutes before if you wanna watch the first iron man match Fred Hope and Flamander had. The Main Event of Sacrific-E will be the rematch.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH YEEEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

# ? Mar 3, 2018 01:15

VolticSurge: Jul 23, 2013; Just your friendly neighborhood photobomb raptor.

I don't even care about my other opponents-Rendar is a dead man. Guess,what Rendar? I can fly, too. But I don't need a jetpack to keep myself airborne! I guess you kinda need it-your blubbery hide weighs you down too much.And that weight will bring you crashing down, I'll make sure of it! *Glances at stormtrooper* Check that off the list,FN-2119.

*sigh* Checking that one off of "Lord Ren's Totally Sweet RWBY One-Liner Lis"- Just kill me.

Realtalk, FN-2119- you're literally the only competent trooper in the entire First Order, besides that treacherous dick FN-2187. I need you by my side. In fact, I have a request for you.

What is it, Lord Ren?

My friend Face's boss has been acting strange lately. I feel like there could be a doublecross brewing. If something goes down, I want you to assist him in any way possible.

Understood,Lord Ren. I'm totally willing to pull an Eraserhead for that ma-

JUST.DON'T.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 01:39

Aesculus: Mar 22, 2013

IGgy IGsen posted:

The poll has decided...

Seeya tomorrow at the big show. Or thirty minutes before if you wanna watch the first iron man match Fred Hope and Flamander had. The Main Event of Sacrific-E will be the rematch.

Now let me tell you something, yeah, let me tell you all about your valuations before and after the match yeah. Your valuations are going down and they're going to KEEP going down, yeah, cause supply and demand... When you demand the goods, the price will rise to the top. And I'll supply the goods! With the stimulus package! In that ring right over there right now!

# ? Mar 3, 2018 03:09

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

LPFWA starts again in 15 Minutes. Today is Sacrific-E, our fourth PPV. Right now we're still watching the legendary classic match that today's Main Event. Tune in here: https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen

1st Match: Eight-Man Fuckfest!
2nd Match: Hugrule Warriors vs. Freddie Hope & Flamander (c) for the Co-Comm Titles
3rd Match: DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Hell-ena (c) for the Pokeymanz Title
4th Match: Palpatine vs. a tree (c) for the LP superstar Title
5th Match: Toad vs. Scott Steiner
6th Match: Lotus vs. anilEhilated vs. Nuffkins (c) for the LPFWA Title
Intermission: Macro Man Keynes vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
7th Match: Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton (c) for the Kawaii Title
Main Event: Freddie Hope vs. Flamander (c) for the Bunny Title

# ? Mar 3, 2018 22:46

Kadorhal: Jun 3, 2013; Look, just sign the stupid petition. I've got stuff to do.

Boss, there you are! I've been looking for you for... two months, I think? Where the hell did you go?

Aah... the Face, yes, Three-Man is returned. Forgive disappearance. This one has been looking into many things, many many things, needed privacy, alone-time.

Well, if you say so, Boss. But, uh... did you forget to take care of-

Three-Man forgets nothing! Important business still on, still on at ringside! Will be there to commemorate-commentate on the Face's matches!

But I'm not fighting today. I just haven't been paid in two-

Irrelevance, unnecessary! Fighting never ends, the fight always on! Always fight, the Face, for everlasting unity with our benefactor!

Benefactor, what? You mean Palpatine?

Aah... yes, sure, indeed, him. _{He will serve the role well, indeed. For now.}

# ? Mar 3, 2018 22:49

GenderSelectScreen: Mar 7, 2010; I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME; College Slice

: Scott Steiner's got nothin' on me. He may have injected mushroom spores into his biceps to make them larger, but I am 100% fungi. No injections needed here. This is all natural.

# ? Mar 3, 2018 23:51

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

I got a riddle for ya, boys. Just what sound does a tree make when it falls in LPFWA, anyway?

I don't know, Lord Sidious. What sound does it make?

"1! 2! 3!" And then my music starts playing.

You suck!

# ? Mar 4, 2018 07:54

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Episode #16 - Sacrific-E - (Twitch VOD)
Pre-Show: LPFWA Best Bouts #2 - Fred Hope vs. Flamander II Iron Man from LPFWA 2k14
Lovingly Punching Fervently Wrestling Attackers

IGgy IGsen posted:

All right! Next show will be a big one. Because it will be in the hallowed halls of Sacrific-E!

The show will be at the usual time

If you want to show up early I will air the original Iron Man Match between Fred Hope and Flamander from Season 2 half an hour before that.
We can hang in chat, talk about the match, LPFWA and sledgehammers. It was fun when we did it last week with Loki vs. Sterv.

The above links go to twitch events, so you can set a reminder if you want.

You may also vote on this week's bonus match: https://goo.gl/forms/eOYfDLRyi0ecq6p63
In fact, if you want you can even surprise me because there's one option I included that I'm afraid will almost certainly win.

Anyway, here's the match card!

#1 Eight-Man Elimination Fuckfest
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Woolsey Smythe vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Dr. Ham vs. Dash Rendar vs. Kylo Ren

#2 Co-Comm Title Match
Hugrule Warriors (Fruitsniffer and El Catire Arrecho) vs. Freddie Hope & Flamander (c)

#3 Pokeymanz Title Match
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Hell-Ena (c)

#4 LP Superstar Championship - Hell in a Cell
Palpatine vs. a tree (c)

#5 Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't win so he's not even gonna try.
Toad vs. Scott Steiner

#6 LPFWA Championship Match - Three-Way at Sacrific-E
Lotus Aura vs. anilEhilated vs. Nuffkins (c)

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe (Match might move to a different spot in the card)
https://goo.gl/forms/eOYfDLRyi0ecq6p63

#7 Kawaii Championship
Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton (c)[/b]

Main Event: Bunny Championship :3 - 20 Minute Iron Man, Hardcore Match.
Frederick Hope vs. Flamander (c)

Vanderlyle, post:94, topic:2484, full:true posted:

�Muy bien, Fruitsniffer, we might be fighter legendary wrestlers who managed to save the moon from crashing into the sun, but we have the power of our friendship! Let�s go back to Link with those belts.�

yerpalhal, post:95, topic:2484, full:true posted:

Best o luck tae mah boys the hugrule warriors. These guys are nae joke watch yersels�also a message for Dash Rendar. I really, really. really hope you survive the 8 man cause I want a piece o ye next week�Iggy ye make that poo poo happen for me I�ll gie you the key tae the dram cellar and let ye go nuts for half an hoor. Dae this and i�ll forgive ye for not scheduling me for thon homecoming bash.

VolticSurge posted:

I don't even care about my other opponents-Rendar is a dead man. Guess,what Rendar? I can fly, too. But I don't need a jetpack to keep myself airborne! I guess you kinda need it-your blubbery hide weighs you down too much.And that weight will bring you crashing down, I'll make sure of it! *Glances at stormtrooper* Check that off the list,FN-2119.

*sigh* Checking that one off of "Lord Ren's Totally Sweet RWBY One-Liner Lis"- Just kill me.

Realtalk, FN-2119- you're literally the only competent trooper in the entire First Order, besides that treacherous dick FN-2187. I need you by my side. In fact, I have a request for you.

What is it, Lord Ren?

My friend Face's boss has been acting strange lately. I feel like there could be a doublecross brewing. If something goes down, I want you to assist him in any way possible.

Understood,Lord Ren. I'm totally willing to pull an Eraserhead for that ma-

JUST.DON'T.

Aesculus posted:

Now let me tell you something, yeah, let me tell you all about your valuations before and after the match yeah. Your valuations are going down and they're going to KEEP going down, yeah, cause supply and demand... When you demand the goods, the price will rise to the top. And I'll supply the goods! With the stimulus package! In that ring right over there right now!

Kadorhal posted:

Boss, there you are! I've been looking for you for... two months, I think? Where the hell did you go?

Aah... the Face, yes, Three-Man is returned. Forgive disappearance. This one has been looking into many things, many many things, needed privacy, alone-time.

Well, if you say so, Boss. But, uh... did you forget to take care of-

Three-Man forgets nothing! Important business still on, still on at ringside! Will be there to commemorate-commentate on the Face's matches!

But I'm not fighting today. I just haven't been paid in two-

Irrelevance, unnecessary! Fighting never ends, the fight always on! Always fight, the Face, for everlasting unity with our benefactor!

Benefactor, what? You mean Palpatine?

Aah... yes, sure, indeed, him. _{He will serve the role well, indeed. For now.}

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

: Scott Steiner's got nothin' on me. He may have injected mushroom spores into his biceps to make them larger, but I am 100% fungi. No injections needed here. This is all natural.

quote:

Scene: IGgy is drunk backstage and contemplates whether drinking actually does solve his problems. Dash also shows up. In the end IGgy drinks more

#1 Eight-Man Elimination Fuckfest
Majestic Goat-Man vs. Macro Man Keynes vs. Thundercat Chris Pine vs. Woolsey Smythe vs. Lore Convoluter vs. Dr. Ham vs. Dash Rendar vs. Kylo Ren

It comes down to Dr. Ham and Woolsey, in the last seconds Ham hits Woolsey with the Miracle Spine-O-Cracker but has not time for a pin, it's a time-out draw

Scene: The Hugrule Warriors have one of their famous strategy meetings, which mostly consist of giving Fruity a pep-talk

#2 Co-Comm Title Match
Hugrule Warriors (Fruitsniffer and El Catire Arrecho) vs. Freddie Hope & Flamander (c)
The Hugrule Warriors prove that they can play with the big boys but come short in the end. Hope and Flamander retain.

Scene: DCB makes the ultimate sacrifice... not drinking coffee for a week before getting coffee'd up again

#3 Pokeymanz Title Match
DivineCoffeeBinge vs. Hell-Ena (c)
DCB! DCB! DCB! DCB! DCB! DCB!

#4 LP Superstar Championship - Hell in a Cell
Palpatine vs. a tree (c)
And another upset, the tree goes down after three Imperial Powerbombs

#5 Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't win so he's not even gonna try.
Toad vs. Scott Steiner
The numbers really didn't lie... Scott Steiner takes it

#6 LPFWA Championship Match - Three-Way at Sacrific-E
Lotus Aura vs. anilEhilated vs. Nuffkins (c)
Nuffkins out shopping for shoes. He chose Lotus' and earned them

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe (Match might move to a different spot in the card)
Macro Man Keynes vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
Macho Madness beats Macro Madness...

#7 Kawaii Championship
Jumpy-Chan vs. Valerie Easton (c)[/b]
These two women threw everything they had at one another. Jumpy even whipped out the outside Superplex as well as the Ban-Hammer to become the new Kawaii Champion

Scene: Val on her way to the locker room is intercepted by Hell-Ena again. But this time they kiss????

Main Event: Bunny Championship :3 - 20 Minute Iron Man, Hardcore Match.
Frederick Hope vs. Flamander (c)
Not sure what I expected would happen here but they fought to a 3-3 draw again. Eventually we'll have to have a decisive match. But that is for another time.

nine-gear crow posted:

I got a riddle for ya, boys. Just what sound does a tree make when it falls in LPFWA, anyway?
I don't know, Lord Sidious. What sound does it make?
"1! 2! 3!" And then my music starts playing.
You suck!

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

: See Toad? This isa why I only let you hang with me in my dreams.

: You shut the hell up Mario!

Fruitsniffer posted:

After all these years of training, after all the sacrifices I've made, I am the one who gets defeated by being hugged?
Am I not strong enough? How could Freddie withstand my hug and how could Flamander manage to hug me so hard I ended up getting pinned?
I don't understand. Maybe I've been on the wrong path this whole time? Maybe the hug life didn't actually choose me?
I'll have to think about all this... We do have alcohol again, so maybe I'll just grab a drink... or a couple...

Rather Watch Them posted:

Oh my god.
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I--yeah, that's--Okay, but--Oh my god.

Val lets out a joyful laugh, joined by a chorus of ghastly voices.

Yes, I'll get stronger! I don't need a title to prove that I'm strong. You hear that, Jumpy? You may be the champion, but you have a long, long way to go before you're as strong as me. I'm going to go find DCB (again) and get started on my real dream: a sisterhood of dark magic! And maybe some demonic power, who knows... (giggle)
Jumpy, you're in the eye of the storm, but pretty soon Hurricane Val is going to rain down on you like you never knew.

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

(Phoneposting, so no cool graphics, but...)

YES YES YES

KAPHOMET BE PRAISED

It turns out that in order to win at SACRIFIC-E you have to actually sacrifice something and that week of caffeineless purgatory followed by giving coffee to Dark Forces counts

A WIN IT IS A BY-GOLLY WIN

Kadorhal posted:

Very much interesting indeed. Must investigate this "Kaphomet", determinate possibly connection between strange coffee being and One That Binds. Possibly witnessed demon fight as well, must keep close eye on. Very interesting, yes...

The gently caress are you talking about, "interesting"? The whole reason I'm still in my riot-gear gimmick is because you started up a F.E.A.R. squadron-that-isn't-a-squadron just to keep more supernatural things like her out of the arena.

Aah, the Face, shortsighted now, yes. Immediate elimination helps not, examination helps yes. If able to use, keep around, finding use is my problem; if not, then eliminate, will be the Face's problem.

And how, pray tell, will we do that? The rules don't allow inter-gender matches. There's not much we can do about her short of having a second female squadmember. And I know you've been missing for about 66% of the time the squad's actually been active, but in case you're unaware - nobody's even so much as called us to take care of a docile ghost haunting a damned library, much less knocked on our door to sign up. Also I'm pretty sure murder in the ring, even against a demon, is also illegal. Do you even know what the hell you're doing anymore?

The Face, have I mentioned lately... that the Face is best in promotion?

. . . Well, I'm glad someone realizes it, finally. That clears up all my suspicions. Sorry to have doubted you, boss.

Is not problem. Now, pardon, please, must continue investigations, yes.

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 12:36 on Mar 11, 2018

# ? Mar 4, 2018 19:12

GenderSelectScreen: Mar 7, 2010; I DON'T KNOW EITHER DON'T ASK ME; College Slice

: See Toad? This isa why I only let you hang with me in my dreams.

: You shut the hell up Mario!

# ? Mar 4, 2018 19:51

Fruitsniffer: Feb 1, 2016; What a great day to be trash!

After all these years of training, after all the sacrifices I've made, I am the one who gets defeated by being hugged?

Am I not strong enough? How could Freddie withstand my hug and how could Flamander manage to hug me so hard I ended up getting pinned?

I don't understand. Maybe I've been on the wrong path this whole time? Maybe the hug life didn't actually choose me?

I'll have to think about all this... We do have alcohol again, so maybe I'll just grab a drink... or a couple...

# ? Mar 4, 2018 20:55

Double May Care: Mar 28, 2012; We need Dragon-type Pokemon to help us prepare our food before we cook it. We're not sure why!

Oh my god.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! I--yeah, that's--Okay, but--Oh my god.

Val lets out a joyful laugh, joined by a chorus of ghastly voices.

Yes, I'll get stronger! I don't need a title to prove that I'm strong. You hear that, Jumpy? You may be the champion, but you have a long, long way to go before you're as strong as me. I'm going to go find DCB (again) and get started on my real dream: a sisterhood of dark magic! And maybe some demonic power, who knows... (giggle)

Jumpy, you're in the eye of the storm, but pretty soon Hurricane Val is going to rain down on you like you never knew.

# ? Mar 6, 2018 00:11

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

(Phoneposting, so no cool graphics, but...)

YES YES YES

KAPHOMET BE PRAISED

It turns out that in order to win at SACRIFIC-E you have to actually sacrifice something and that week of caffeineless purgatory followed by giving coffee to Dark Forces counts

A WIN IT IS A BY-GOLLY WIN

# ? Mar 6, 2018 04:07

Kadorhal: Jun 3, 2013; Look, just sign the stupid petition. I've got stuff to do.

Very much interesting indeed. Must investigate this "Kaphomet", determinate possibly connection between strange coffee being and One That Binds. Possibly witnessed demon fight as well, must keep close eye on. Very interesting, yes...

The gently caress are you talking about, "interesting"? The whole reason I'm still in my riot-gear gimmick is because you started up a F.E.A.R. squadron-that-isn't-a-squadron just to keep more supernatural things like her out of the arena.

Aah, the Face, shortsighted now, yes. Immediate elimination helps not, examination helps yes. If able to use, keep around, finding use is my problem; if not, then eliminate, will be the Face's problem.

And how, pray tell, will we do that? The rules don't allow inter-gender matches. There's not much we can do about her short of having a second female squadmember. And I know you've been missing for about 66% of the time the squad's actually been active, but in case you're unaware - nobody's even so much as called us to take care of a docile ghost haunting a damned library, much less knocked on our door to sign up. Also I'm pretty sure murder in the ring, even against a demon, is also illegal. Do you even know what the hell you're doing anymore?

The Face, have I mentioned lately... that the Face is best in promotion?

. . . Well, I'm glad someone realizes it, finally. That clears up all my suspicions. Sorry to have doubted you, boss.

Is not problem. Now, pardon, please, must continue investigations, yes.

Kadorhal fucked around with this message at 12:18 on Mar 6, 2018

# ? Mar 6, 2018 12:11

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

All right! next show will be this Saturday, 10th March at the usual time
30 Minutes before the show we'll watch a classic match of LPFWA past: JunpeiHyde vs. John Cena in a Flaming Tables match. Here's the bit I wrote for it some years back:

"After defeating Flamander John Cena continued his rampage claiming victim after victim. At the Sandcastle PPV hell broke loose, IGgy got set on fire, Palpatine took over the show and changed the match card. But Junpei didn't give a gently caress about this. He was just furious that he wasn't in the flaming tables match that happened that night. Junpei demanded the flaming tables. He called out the winner of the previous match at first but then John Cena appeared to the Scene and while the Sandcastle was burning, they would have a match that set the world ablaze."

Macho Man is still our opponent for the Bonus matches, so choose who gets to fight him here: https://goo.gl/forms/JDlpRkvd20zxzd1T2

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Tommy Wiseau

#2 Singles Match
Fruitsniffer vs. IGgy

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. Yelizaveta RN

#4 Bunny Championship :3
El Catire Arrecho vs. Flamander (c)

#5 Tag Team Match featuring former Kawaii Champions
Valerie Easton and Hell-Ena vs. Konami Kouda and Lady of the Lancet

Intermission:LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/JDlpRkvd20zxzd1T2 vs. Macho Man Randy Savage

Main Event: LP Superstar Title
D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine (c)

# ? Mar 7, 2018 20:55

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Bone Pimp (c) vs. Tommy Wiseau for the Buscus
2nd Match: Fruitsniffer vs. IGgy
3rd Match: Nadira vs. Yelizaveta RN
4th Match: El Catire Arrecho vs. Flamander (c) for the Bunny Title :3
5th Match: Val and Hell-Ena vs. Konami and Lady of the Lancet
Intermission: Angus McMutton vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
Main Event: D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine (c) for the LP Superstar Title

# ? Mar 10, 2018 22:44

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

...Soooo, now that Ren's gone rogue... Can I have my job back?

Let me see. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and "Go to hell".

..."Go to hell"?

On the first try and everything. Well done, Galen.

Yo, boss. I just got off the phone with the stylist. We're all booked for next week.

Good. Gooood. Ren better watch his whiny rear end... or he's gonna gonna find my elbow rammed up it. Just you wait.

# ? Mar 11, 2018 00:57

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Episode #17 - Losers Pinned For Wrestling Amusement - (Twitch VOD)
Pre-Show LPFWA Best Bouts #3 JunpeiHyde vs. John Cena FLAMING TABLES from LPFWA 2k14
Episode Title by Zephyr

Longrunning Palapatine Fights With Anger -DeathMaster780
Losers Pinned For Wrestling Amusement - Zepyhr
Ladies Punched Flamando Wins Again - Zephyr

IGgy IGsen posted:

All right! next show will be this Saturday, 10th March at the usual time
30 Minutes before the show we'll watch a classic match of LPFWA past: JunpeiHyde vs. John Cena in a Flaming Tables match. Here's the bit I wrote for it some years back:

"After defeating Flamander John Cena continued his rampage claiming victim after victim. At the Sandcastle PPV hell broke loose, IGgy got set on fire, Palpatine took over the show and changed the match card. But Junpei didn't give a gently caress about this. He was just furious that he wasn't in the flaming tables match that happened that night. Junpei demanded the flaming tables. He called out the winner of the previous match at first but then John Cena appeared to the Scene and while the Sandcastle was burning, they would have a match that set the world ablaze."

Macho Man is still our opponent for the Bonus matches, so choose who gets to fight him here: https://goo.gl/forms/JDlpRkvd20zxzd1T2

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Tommy Wiseau

#2 Singles Match
Fruitsniffer vs. IGgy

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. Yelizaveta RN

#4 Bunny Championship :3
El Catire Arrecho vs. Flamander (c)

#5 Tag Team Match featuring former Kawaii Champions
Valerie Easton and Hell-Ena vs. Konami Kouda and Lady of the Lancet

Intermission:LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/JDlpRkvd20zxzd1T2 vs. Macho Man Randy Savage

Main Event: LP Superstar Title
D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine (c)

Vanderlyle, post:100, topic:2484, full:true posted:

�You can�t give up like this, Fruitsniffer! Tu eres el maestro de los abrazos, and no one can change that! That�s why I�m gonna defeat the man who pinned you, and take his belt!�

yerpalhal, post:101, topic:2484, full:true posted:

-imagine this as a weird rear end titantron video like bray wyatt would do-

iggy, iggy, iggy aw i asked was for one wee fight with dash rendar. but ye didnae deliever and if that wisnae bad enough you demote mah pal tommy tae the buskus curtain jerker. so come wie me�i�ve goat some stuff tae show ye.

welcome tae mah hame. shitetower many murders here so i goat it fir a song. So glad tae be back here after our many months of moon travel. But it means I can begin my battles truly. Come inside won�t you.

Feel free tae huv wan first bits on the hoose. See this is my true bru Iggy the true power behind my feats o strength. what powers me�what keeps me going. But my true plan iggy can you see it. I am so proud of dcb but she could be more iggy�oh so much more

you couldae been part ov my plans iggy. i respect yae as a fellow drinker o the dram�but ye broke mah heart iggy�you broke mah soul�whit dae ye huv to say tae that

gottle of geer

but thats aw ye think abot isn;t it�i am starting to think that dram stealing fiend rendar had the right idea�

IGgy IGsen posted:

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Tommy Wiseau
Tommy gets his rear end kicked for a while then does his lovely moves and wins

Scene: Fruity gets in the ring and is sad that people say he sucks at hugging, then IGgy comes and tells Fruity to give him a hug.

#2 Singles Match
Fruitsniffer vs. IGgy
Fruity is victorious... but there was no hug.]

#3 Singles Match
Nadira vs. Yelizaveta RN
Yelizaveta completely stomped Nadira

Scene: DCB announces that now that she's actually one a match decisively she plans on beating everyone, eventually

#4 Bunny Championship :3
El Catire Arrecho vs. Flamander (c)
Flamander takes the win with the WO

#5 Tag Team Match featuring former Kawaii Champions
Valerie Easton and Hell-Ena vs. Konami Kouda and Lady of the Lancet
There's lots of brawlin' and throwin' going on but eventually Val puts the Kiss of Death on Lady for the win

Intermission:LPFWA vs. The Universe
Angus McMutton vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
Angus wrecks Macho Man completely but still loses by countout

Main Event: LP Superstar Title
D the Destroyer vs. Palpatine (c)
Palpy just kinda beats D, dunno what else to say. D tried

Scene: Palpy makes an open challenge for his belt, Kylo steps up and challenges him. Then Palpy tears into Kylo. Then Kylo says "Yeah, well, I can totally beat you up gramps". Palpy accepts but Kylo gets put in timeout

nine-gear crow posted:

...Soooo, now that Ren's gone rogue... Can I have my job back?
Let me see. I'm thinking of a number between 1 and "Go to hell".
..."Go to hell"?
On the first try and everything. Well done, Galen.
Yo, boss. I just got off the phone with the stylist. We're all booked for next week.
Good. Gooood. Ren better watch his whiny rear end... or he's gonna gonna find my elbow rammed up it. Just you wait.

yerpalhal, post:103, topic:2484, full:true posted:

Ah had the weirdest dream ah faught aff the macho man. I Hid him oan the ropes for most of the fight but he conned me oot of a victory. Did you spike mah dram Iggy?

Gottle of geer

ye huv a problem pal ye need tae face it. Anyway my commiserations to my boy El�ca�er�el ca,err my wee lucha pal. ye tried yuir best but the deck was stacked

Fruitsniffer posted:

Iggy, I appreciate what you're trying to do. You even went as far as letting me win, in an attempt to make me feel better. That's nice of you and I'd hug you for that but I just can't.
I had a few more glasses of whisky and did some thinking. Something in me changed. I don't know what it is but I channeled this energy into pen and paper.

I am proud to announce that in just a few hours I not only managed to get black-out drunk, I also somehow managed to write an entire album.
And with this, I give you "Hug Lyfe VI - The Rise and Fall of a Hugster".

I also seem to already have recorded the entire album during my drunk adventure, so I guess it's coming to stores in a few days.

Vanderlyle, post:105, topic:2484, full:true posted:

"Well uh, maybe challenging a legendary wrestler for my debut wasn�t such a great idea�but you got a win yourself, Fruity! That�s good, right?

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 14:16 on Mar 11, 2018

# ? Mar 11, 2018 12:26

Fruitsniffer: Feb 1, 2016; What a great day to be trash!

Iggy, I appreciate what you're trying to do. You even went as far as letting me win, in an attempt to make me feel better. That's nice of you and I'd hug you for that but I just can't.

I had a few more glasses of whisky and did some thinking. Something in me changed. I don't know what it is but I channeled this energy into pen and paper.

I am proud to announce that in just a few hours I not only managed to get black-out drunk, I also somehow managed to write an entire album.

And with this, I give you "Hug Lyfe VI - The Rise and Fall of a Hugster".

I also seem to already have recorded the entire album during my drunk adventure, so I guess it's coming to stores in a few days.

# ? Mar 11, 2018 13:42

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Next show will be on Saturday, 17th May at this time. It's a Twitch event so you can set a reminder if you like.

30 Minutes before that a Twitch "Premiere" featuring LPFWAs first ever Match from some time in 2013. Since there was no commentary originally it will feature kind of director's commentary in post by me. It is Sabateini vs. Schir (not as I claimed multiple times Fruitsniffer vs. Schir). Much like the above link, this is also a Twitch Event.

And of course you get to pick an opponent for Macho Man Randy Savage again if you go here

The match card for this week's show, of course, is below.

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Face

#2 Singles Match
Angus Mcmutton vs. Macro Man Keynes

#3 Three-Way
Yelizaveta RN vs. Tolvie vs. Garbo Barba

#4 Bunny Championship :3
D the Destroyer vs. Flamander (c)

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/kpSln5LtqPWHgYxD3 vs. Macho Man Randy Savage

#5 Singles Match
Woolsey Smythe vs. Dr. Ham

Main Event: Kawaii Championship
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan (c)

# ? Mar 14, 2018 23:40

Kadorhal: Jun 3, 2013; Look, just sign the stupid petition. I've got stuff to do.

Wait, waitwaitwait. The Buscus? Me? But... but the boss said I'm the best in the promotion! He wouldn't lie, would he?

*sigh* Fine. If this is the poo poo I have to put up with, I'll put on the best show possible. I'll show these assholes I'm better than they all think! I will win the match and not get that title!

Or if I do, I'll only hold onto it for one week, tops!

# ? Mar 15, 2018 00:25

VolticSurge: Jul 23, 2013; Just your friendly neighborhood photobomb raptor.

Fear not, old man. Your time is coming. Like Professor Ozpin, you don't realize the winds of fate have changed course.

A-are you certain of this, Supreme Leader Ren?

I am very certain of this. I have one request-if Face is sent to sabotage the First Order, don't kill him. Please. That's all I ask.

That's an odd request, Supreme Leader Ren. But fine. I will comply.

I wish our paths didn't have diverge like this. My First Order could use a warrior like him.

We need all the fighters we can get, considering what you did to Snoke's guards.

WILL YOU GET OVER THAT I'M HAVING A MOMENT HERE

# ? Mar 15, 2018 01:28

Jaguars!: Jul 31, 2012

I forgot about this till now and it seems my gal has become a competent working wrestler and even the Kawaii champ for about five minutes! :toot:

# ? Mar 17, 2018 02:45

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Bone Pimp (c) vs. Face for the Buscus
2nd Match: Angus McMutton vs. Macro Man Keynes
3rd Match: Yelizaveta RN vs. Tolvie vs. Garbo Barba
4th Match: D the Destroyer vs. Flamander (c) for the Bunny Title :3
Intermission: IGgy vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
5th Match: Woolsey Smythe vs. Dr. Ham
Main Event: Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan (c) for the Kawaii Title

# ? Mar 17, 2018 22:47

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Episode #18 - Look! Pilot Flammando Winged Angel! - (Twitch VOD)
Pre-Show: Vintage LPFWA '13 - Humble Beginnings (Sabateini vs. Schir)

YT version might not be processed yet but the Twitch VOD is there as always as a backup.

Look! Pilot Flammando Winged Angel! - Zephyr

IGgy IGsen posted:

Next show will be on Saturday, 17th May at this time. It's a Twitch event so you can set a reminder if you like.

30 Minutes before that a Twitch "Premiere" featuring LPFWAs first ever Match from some time in 2013. Since there was no commentary originally it will feature kind of director's commentary in post by me. It is Sabateini vs. Schir (not as I claimed multiple times Fruitsniffer vs. Schir). Much like the above link, this is also a Twitch Event.

And of course you get to pick an opponent for Macho Man Randy Savage again if you go here

The match card for this week's show, of course, is below.

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Face

#2 Singles Match
Angus Mcmutton vs. Macro Man Keynes

#3 Three-Way
Yelizaveta RN vs. Tolvie vs. Garbo Barba

#4 Bunny Championship :3
D the Destroyer vs. Flamander (c)

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
https://goo.gl/forms/kpSln5LtqPWHgYxD3 vs. Macho Man Randy Savage

#5 Singles Match
Woolsey Smythe vs. Dr. Ham

Main Event: Kawaii Championship
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan (c)

Kadorhal posted:

Wait, waitwaitwait. The Buscus? Me? But... but the boss said I'm the best in the promotion! He wouldn't lie, would he?

*sigh* Fine. If this is the poo poo I have to put up with, I'll put on the best show possible. I'll show these assholes I'm better than they all think! I will win the match and not get that title!

Or if I do, I'll only hold onto it for one week, tops!

VolticSurge posted:

Fear not, old man. Your time is coming. Like Professor Ozpin, you don't realize the winds of fate have changed course.

A-are you certain of this, Supreme Leader Ren?

I am very certain of this. I have one request-if Face is sent to sabotage the First Order, don't kill him. Please. That's all I ask.

That's an odd request, Supreme Leader Ren. But fine. I will comply.

I wish our paths didn't have diverge like this. My First Order could use a warrior like him.

We need all the fighters we can get, considering what you did to Snoke's guards.

WILL YOU GET OVER THAT I'M HAVING A MOMENT HERE

yerpalhal, post:107, topic:2484, full:true posted:

So that dream frae last week wis a warning fae MEDB hersel instead o the macho man I get tae fight the poundland version of him. Bring it oan auld man you face the full might of a warrior with the power of SETANTA and the full unbridled rage o BELATUCADROS himsel�

IGgy posted:

Scene: Palpatine berates Face for having to compete for the Buscus

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. Face
Face takes it. Poor Boney

Scene: Angus approaches Fruitsniffer and challenges him to a drunk match because IGgy wouldn't book Angus vs. Dash. But IGgy overhears this and makes the match at Toxx Party a Four-Way Ladder Match with Angus, Fruity, IGgy and Dash

#2 Singles Match
Angus McMutton vs. Macro Man Keynes
I guess Macho and Macro are not the same. Because Angus obliterated the former. But got beaten fair and square by the latter

#3 Three-Way
Yelizaveta RN vs. Tolvie vs. Garbo Barba
While Yelizaveta showed just how relentless she is, ultimately it was Tolvie who got the win

#4 Bunny Championship :3
D the Destroyer vs. Flamander (c)
What a war! D takes the win and what a big win for D it is to defeat a legend like this.

Scene: Kylo Ren wants to cut a sick promo about Palpy but talks about his abs instead.

Intermission: LPFWA vs. The Universe
IGgy vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
I should probably just not put myself up for vote when these things happen anymore because I keep losing

#5 Singles Match
Woolsey Smythe vs. Dr. Ham
Last time they met Dr. Ham had just hit the Miracle Spine-o-Cracker on Woolsey but the time limit ran out before he could go for the pin. Now, though, it's a different day, and Woolsey defeats Dr. Ham.

Main Event: Kawaii Championship
Samus vs. Jumpy-Chan (c)
Jumpy defeats Samus yet again proving that her previous victory was not just a fluke.

yerpalhal, post:109, topic:2484, full:true posted:

The day`s promo is translated fur yer buzz

Todays promo is translated for your pleasure

Sae th� macro jimmy bested me. This displeases me �n� mah celtic gods �n� o� couse th� tru bru. Ah wis warned o� this calamity in mah dreams �n� dingyed it.
so the macro man bested me. This displeases me and my celtic gods and of couse the tru bru. I was warned of this calamity in my dreams and ignored it.

Bit och jimmy ah git th� fud rendar at th� neist ppv. A�m aff tae murdurr ye dash. A�m aff tae choap ye intae bits. Bake ye intae a steak bake �n� serve ye tae th� neist nerf herder wha annoys me

but oh man i get the ******* Rendar at the next ppv. I am going to kill you Dash. I am going to chop you into bits. bake you into a steak bake and serve you to the next nerf herder who annoys me

Noo tae spout random gibberish as ah scouk a plug fur mah managers foremaist lets speil mirk clood comin� soon tae th� lp zone as soon as his commentary bidie in gets his heid oot o� his bahookie �n� we git mair than six bits recorded in advance. Aye he is making me say this. His haun reaches ferr far up mah kilt. A�m his puppet

???

IGgy IGsen fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Mar 19, 2018

# ? Mar 19, 2018 00:28

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Next show will happen on Saturday, as always, at the usual time!
30 Minutes before that we'll watch another classic match from LPFWA past. This time BFC vs. Pyroi in a Ladder Match
As usual you are welcome to vote on who's gonna face Macho Man Randy Savage, who's defeated Macro Man, Angus McMutton and IGgy so far. Choose his next victim here

And now for the match card!

#1 Buscus Brawl
Bone Pimp (c) vs. El Catire Arrecho

#2 Three-Way
Dash Rendar vs. anilEhilated vs. Schir

#3 Singles Match
Lore Convoluter vs. Masked Man

#4 Bunny Championship :3
Link vs. D the Destroyer (c)

#5 Women's Tournamet Qualifying Match
Terara Fluffybottom vs. DivineCoffeeBinge

Intermission:
https://goo.gl/forms/xVVyLpeeineRqAyF3 vs. Macho Man Randy Savage

Main Event: Co-Comm Title Match
oRa 66 vs. Frederick Hope and Flamander (c)

# ? Mar 22, 2018 23:28

IGgy IGsen: Apr 11, 2013; "If I lose I will set myself on fire."

Show starts in 15 minutes. https://www.twitch.tv/iggy_igsen
1st Match: Bone Pimp (c) vs. El Catire Arrecho for the Buscus
2nd Match: Dash Rendar vs. anilEhilated vs. Schir
3rd Match: Lore Convoluter vs. Masked Man
4th Match: Link vs. D the Destroyer (c) for the Bunny Title :3
5th Match: Terara Fluffybottom vs. DivineCoffeeBinge
Intermission: Papatine vs. Macho Man Randy Savage
Main Event: oRa 66 vs. Freddie Hope and Flamander (c) for the Co-Comm Titles

# ? Mar 24, 2018 22:45

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Okay, so Plan Win All The Matches From Now On didn't work out.

It's just... you know, Rara's my friend! Also, the last time I punched her a whole lot we sort of broke the space-time continuum and I was a little afraid of doing that again.

Seriously, I don't need another Hound of Tindalos coming after me. Those were dark, dark days.

Also, Hounds of Tindalos do not, it turns out, like coffee. Which is part of what makes them horrifying.

# ? Mar 25, 2018 10:50

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 22:08

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

...Oh wow. Just when I thought you couldn't look like a bigger dickhead.

Yeah I stole Macho Man's sunglasses. What of it?

I guess that makes up for getting tooled by him, huh?

Says the guy who lost to the hobo and the crash test dummy. Again. :rolleyes:

# ? Mar 25, 2018 11:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > LPFWA 2k18 - We Killed The Business

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