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Craig K
Nov 10, 2016

puck
holy moly the drafts still going

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ADBOT LOVES YOU

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016




Hey all, I'm gonna borrow a page from fairgames book and make an offer of I'll look up 1 thing about your team within reason (provided it's not a screenshot of a players roll)

Kolten Wong, Batting 0.134 posted:


"War. War never changes. The Romans waged war..."

CraigK scratched at his notebook because that was ridiculous. He looked around the dugout and saw the blanked-faced stares of the spectators who gathered to watch the Marmosets do that which Marmosets do, which is fail to live up to their potential and die. He waggled his wings in that irritated way when things didn't go to plan. As his team noted, his wings were in a constant state of motion. The Marmosets were not dying and he did not appreciate that fact. There was only room for one team in all the Sub-Par that failed continually to win despite their talent and it would be him, dammit.

CraigK never changes.

"What are you doing?" Tris Speaker had sidled up to the diminutive fairy dragon. Writing was not an activity in which CraigK engaged and introspection was so low on the list of approved CraigK behaviors that everyone was now on edge. When CraigK was playing a video game he might swear loudly or start throwing furniture or weep uncontrollably, but these were expected and normal and could be planned around. CraigK taking stock of his life and what lead him to this situation would lead to no good things.

CraigK looked up, toying with the inkwell that he was dipping his tail into. "I felt the need to memorialize my thoughts for the sake of future generations. In Super-League LXIX when fresh new teams come to the meat grinder there should be a record. Of the errors I've made." He twirled the tip in the ink, forming eddies in the jet black liquid. He lifted it out and started scribing again. Speaking as he scribbled across paper, he continued: "July 17, Sub-Par 12. After a desultory swing at the pitched ball, Simmons hit it right to the Turkey Stearns, who made the double play and killed the rally. Thus the lesson is that hope is a lie."

"Boss, are you writing about this game?" The oppressive weight of expectation and basic pattern recognition pressed on Speaker. "I'm not a superstitious man." CraigK gave him a withering look of scorn. "Fine, I'm not more superstitious than the average baseballer. This seems though you're writing your epitaph, inviting fate or the lesser gods which delight in the failures of mortals to meddle in our lives." As he said this, the inning ended and the Zephyrs clung to a two run lead going to the bottom of the eighth. "You've damned us all."

CraigK could only shrug in apathy. He was long past the point of railing against the powers which controlled the course of his life, all our lives really. Documenting this understanding of how the world worked was his new obsession, at least until there was another Steam sale. Again ink dripped from his tail. "And it came to pass that because there is no way to make two underserving teams such as we that have gathered here to lose simultaneously, and that humanity being wicked, deserve annihilation so a meteor should fall on this very spot, but God in His infinite mirth and cruelty does not end our suffering so quickly, only makes it that somehow Robin loving Yount manages to hit a dinger and tie the game so we may experience our agony that much loving longer."

Speaker groaned and sank his face into his hands. Chelsea Baker, blood pounding in her ears and blood caked under her nails, got them out one-two-three...-four in the ninth, though she nailed Simmons because she could. Speaker was pleased that her bloodthirst was kept to a minimum and a mild beaning was all that she took from them. CraigK scribbled some doggerel in praise of a pitcher that sows destruction where ever she went. ("What rhymes with 'Chelsea'? Don't say 'belfry' you rear end.")

And the game continued. Extra innings. Even the impassive masks that Sodakans wore slipped with impatience as nothing happened and little of interest occurred. 'Twas better when the thresher came and ran over an outfielder, in the olden days were the murmurs heard in the stands. In a move that seemed to have been an act to defy the powers that be, CraigK motioned with a claw and had Jimmie Foxx pinch hit for Warren Spahn. Foxx, screwing up his courage, fouled away the first two pitches. The third pitch found the heart of the bat and was hit into the stands. He was careful to avoid looking at the mound while rounding the bases; Baker was known to kill with mere eye contact.

"With a run scored, it was now up to the fates to gently caress over CraigK," wrote CraigK in his journal. He leaned back and motioned for Billy Wagner to come and close out the game against the back half of the Marmosets' lineup. Speaker moaned when he heard these words for it was now a challenge and the outcome ordained. What could a lefty powerball pitcher do against a bunch of lefty batters?

First up was Yogi Berra. Down the middle went the ball; back up the ball came and out of the park. The first pitch, a dinger. Of course it would.

The second batter was the estimable Oscar Charleston. After working the full count, Wagner was irresistably drawn to trying to overpower him with another fastball. CraigK sagely nodded and wrote the outcome of the fates loving him over. It was done, and everyone walked off the field.

"Hey nerds." Clearly they should have also evacuated the stadium and the greater Sodak area, because Chelsea Baker found the Zephyrs loitering in the dugout a whole three seconds after the game officially ended. "I got the win and not the loser Fingers, so I'm feeling generous and won't take your heart for hitting a dinger off me." Everyone's hearts resumed beating at this announcement. "Good. Good! You!" she pointed at CraigK, "did you ever see that scene from 'The Last Emperor' when the spoiled brat Puyi forced a eunuch to drink ink?"

"I did not think you would be the type to watch historical costume dramas, no matter how many Oscars they win," replied CraigK.

"I believe that you are doing me a disservice in underestimating my cultural depth," Baker said. With a swiftness and fluidity of motion belying the brutality of her action, she was force feeding the contents of the inkpot to CraigK.

"Write that in your loving journal!"


























































































































































frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade


The Serene Lions pick 1965 Mickey Mantle. Put him on the bench and bump Roy Thomas to the minors.

The Nega-Llamas are on the clock.

Craig K
Nov 10, 2016

puck
man i can't believe craigks team sucked i predicted them to not suck -- this entire goddamn thread, four seasons straight

The Chronic Underachievers

mickey welch to sp5
pedro borbon to mrp
the nens bumped up a spot each
satchel paige and papelbon shot out of a cannon into the sun

TKBomber7285
Feb 20, 2011


I'll be moving in Addie Joss into the rotation to replace my dead Deacon Phillippe who goes to AAA.

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."
Super-League XXIV, Week 17 Injury Report

Brooklyn Giants
Luis Tiant (SP) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 37 days

Khartoum Doom
Barry Bonds (LF) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 46 days

Krakow Dragons
Doug Jones (RP) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 36 days

Mexico City Mexicutioners
Lou Whitaker (2B) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 23 days

Spiral Mountain Breegulls
Barry Bonds (LF) (I'm afraid my verse lacks flash/anyway SMASHER SMASH!) - 22 days

World Warriors
Earl Moore (SP) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 22 days


Pick 'em: I am seriously mentally ill to the point where I am unable to seek the help I desperately need

Omni-Titles
Kobe Crows @ South Bolton Eazy W's

UNIFICATION SERIES!
Honkbalers unify vs. both retain vs. @ Generics unify

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade
Pick 'em: Everyone retains.

TMMadman
Sep 9, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
No unification. Champs retain.

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016

TMMadman posted:

No unification. Champs retain.

This

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


Chumps retain.

Armitage
Aug 16, 2005

"Mathman's not here." "Oh? Where is he?" "He's in the Mathroom."
Champs retain!

Monathin
Sep 1, 2011

?????????
?

TMMadman posted:

No unification. Champs retain.

:emptyquote:

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
Eazy W's
No unification

TheFlyingLlama
Jan 2, 2013

You really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet and be a llama?



Pick 'em: I am seriously mentally ill to the point where I am unable to seek the help I desperately need

Omni-Titles
Kobe Crows @ South Bolton Eazy W's

UNIFICATION SERIES!
Honkbalers unify vs. both retain vs. @ Generics unify


Nega-Llamas take 1975 Pete Rose, HPJoker and the Mays are up


Please send down Bob Caruthers for Rose, new lineup vs RHP


2B Pete Rose
RF Al Kaline
CF Cristobal Torriente
3B Edgar Martinez
LF Larry Walker
1B Albert Pujols
C Yogi Berra
SS Cal Ripken Jr

Yaya
Nov 14, 2012

vancloober cablucks
Champs!

Retain!

Mooseontheloose
May 13, 2003
Minors for the Commonwealth Dukaki:

SS 1913 Donnie Bush bushdo01 L
3B 1918 Home Run Baker bakerfr01 R
OF 1982 Cesar Cedeno cedence01 R
OF 1987 Dave Henderson hendeda01 R
DH 2008 Billy Butler butlebi03 R

Faustoan Bargain
Dec 24, 2009

I'd sell my soul for a pitcher with a power sinker...
Yeah I'm on the champ retention bandwagon

DannoMack
Aug 1, 2003

i love it when you call me big poppa
pickem
champs retain no unificatiom

CFBalla
Sep 16, 2009

Yeah, I just made that shot. :smug:
Team Name: The Los Angeles Misanthropes

Team Logo:

Home City: Los Angeles, CA

Home Stadium:



DH Preference: don't care

Feeders:
2007 St. Louis Cardinals
1967 AL All-Star Team
1888 Brooklyn Bridegrooms
1991 Milwaukee Brewers
Mitchel Kernels leftovers

Roster:
C Bill Freehan
C Yadier Molina
1B Albert Pujols
2B Paul Molitor
SS The Masked Shortstop
3B Scott Rolen
3B Brooks Robinson
LF Harmon Killebrew
LF Carl Yastrzemski
CF Mickey Mantle
CF Robin Yount
RF Frank Robinson
RF Gary Sheffield
RF Al Kaline
SP Ed Walsh
SP George Bradley
SP Bob Caruthers
SP Adonis Terry
SP Dave Foutz
SP Dean Chance
SP Catfish Hunter
SP Al Downing
RP Adam Wainwright
RP Jason Isringhausen
RP Dan Plesac
CF Jim Edmonds
SS Jim Fregosi
1B Dave Orr
SP Gary Peters
SP Chris Carpenter

Pitching
SP1: 1908 Ed Walsh
SP2: 1881 George Bradley
SP3: 1888 Bob Caruthers
SP4: 1888 Adonis Terry
SP5: 1888 Dave Foutz
CL: 1991 Dan Plesac
SU: 2007 Jason Isringhausen
SR: 2007 Adam Wainwright
SR: 1967 Catfish Hunter
MR: 1967 Al Downing
LR: 1967 Dean Chance

vs. RHP w/DH
SS ???? The Masked Shortstop
1B 2007 Albert Pujols
RF 1967 Frank Robinson
CF 1967 Mickey Mantle
DH 1967 Al Kaline
LF 1967 Carl Yastrzemski
2B 1991 Paul Molitor
3B 2007 Scott Rolen
C 1967 Bill Freehan

vs. LHP w/DH
SS ???? The Masked Shortstop
1B 2007 Albert Pujols
RF 1967 Al Kaline
LF 1967 Frank Robinson
DH 1967 Harmon Killebrew
CF 1967 Mickey Mantle
2B 1991 Paul Molitor
3B 2007 Scott Rolen
C 1967 Bill Freehan

vs. RHP
SS ???? The Masked Shortstop
1B 2007 Albert Pujols
RF 1967 Frank Robinson
CF 1967 Mickey Mantle
LF 1967 Carl Yastrzemski
2B 1991 Paul Molitor
3B 2007 Scott Rolen
C 1967 Bill Freehan
P

vs. LHP
SS ???? The Masked Shortstop
1B 2007 Albert Pujols
RF 1967 Al Kaline
LF 1967 Frank Robinson
CF 1967 Mickey Mantle
2B 1991 Paul Molitor
3B 2007 Scott Rolen
C 1967 Bill Freehan
P

Bench (for clarity's sake, make this for RHP vs. DH)
2007 Yadier Molina
1967 Harmon Killebrew
1967 Brooks Robinson
1991 Robin Yount
1991 Gary Sheffield

Minors:
1967 Jim Fregosi
2007 Jim Edmonds
1888 Dave Orr
1967 Gary Peters
2007 Chris Carpenter

Strategy:
Hit and Run: +2
Sacrifice Bunt: -3
Squeeze Play: -4
Trying for extra bases: -1
Stealing Bases: 1
Aggressively Tagging Up: -1
Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases): -2
Giving Intentional Walks: -4
Pitching Around Good Hitters: -1
Bringing the Infield In: -2
Guarding the Lines: 1
Making Cutoff Throws: 2
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: 0
Bringing in Pinch Runners: -2
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: -3
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: 2
Letting pitchers pitch throw trouble: 4
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: 4

CSV:
code:
maskess99,????,,,,The Masked,Shortstop
pujolal01,2007,,,,Albert,Pujols
robinfr02,1967,,,,Frank,Robinson
mantlmi01,1967,,,,Mickey,Mantle
yastrca01,1967,,,,Carl,Yastrzemski
molitpa01,1991,,,,Paul,Molitor
rolensc01,2007,,,,Scott,Rolen
freehbi01,1967,,,,Bill,Freehan
molinya01,2007,,,,Yadier,Molina
killeha01,1967,,,,Harmon,Killebrew
robinbr01,1967,,,,Brooks,Robinson
kalinal01,1967,,,,Al,Kaline
yountro01,1991,,,,Robin,Yount
sheffga01,1991,,,,Gary,Sheffield
fregoji01,1967,,,,Jim,Fregosi
edmonji01,2007,,,,Jim,Edmonds
orrda01,1888,,,,Dave,Orr
walshed01,1908,,,,Ed,Walsh
bradlge01,1881,,,,George,Bradley
carutbo01,1888,,,,Bob,Caruthers
terryad01,1888,,,,Adonis,Terry
chancde01,1967,,,,Dean,Chance
plesada01,1991,,,,Dan,Plesac
isrinja01,2007,,,,Jason,Isringhausen
wainwad01,2007,,,,Adam,Wainwright
downial01,1967,,,,Al,Downing
hunteca01,1967,,,,Catfish,Hunter
carpech01,2007,,,,Chris,Carpenter
peterga01,1967,,,,Gary,Peters
foutzda01,1888,,,,Dave,Foutz

CFBalla fucked around with this message at 07:04 on Jul 1, 2018

TheMcD
May 4, 2013

Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Pick'Em: Champs retain.



Quick note to account for the trade. Since I traded away one guy from my bench/lineup, call up Sid Gordon from the minors to make up the difference.

Ginge
Sep 8, 2011

Well, Chippy is already my favourite character!
W's retain, Honkbalers unify.

Robert Deadford
Mar 1, 2008
Ultra Carp


Poor Doug.

One Change!

Make Ron Darling the new MR.

Thank you!

CirclMastr
Jul 4, 2010

TMMadman posted:

No unification. Champs retain.

:yossame:

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


Champs retain.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Generics unify, others retain.

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


Looking to trade for a pick on Jampact's behalf.

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013



From the Spiral Mountain Breegulls Management Team:

I gave you one job, and LF ain’t the job!
Harry’s DH-ing while you heal you big knob!
And Rocky, that means you take Heilmann’s right field!
*oorg* In Furnace Fun you dumb jocks’ll be keeled!



An Hastily Written Addendum:

Wait, some titles will unite again??
eh, with their skill, they'll all retain!

Pander
Oct 9, 2007

Fear is the glue that holds society together. It's what makes people suppress their worst impulses. Fear is power.

And at the end of fear, oblivion.



Smasher Dynamo posted:

Super-League XXIV, Week 17 Injury Report

Brooklyn Giants
Luis Tiant (SP) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 37 days

Khartoum Doom
Barry Bonds (LF) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 46 days

Krakow Dragons
Doug Jones (RP) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 36 days

Mexico City Mexicutioners
Lou Whitaker (2B) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 23 days

Spiral Mountain Breegulls
Barry Bonds (LF) (I'm afraid my verse lacks flash/anyway SMASHER SMASH!) - 22 days

World Warriors
Earl Moore (SP) (SMASHER SMASH!) - 22 days


Pick 'em: I am seriously mentally ill to the point where I am unable to seek the help I desperately need

Omni-Titles
Kobe Crows @ South Bolton Eazy W's

UNIFICATION SERIES!
Honkbalers unify vs. both retain vs. @ Generics unify

That's some good smashing Mr. D.

Let's go with Eazy W's and Generics Unify.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
Honkbal and Eazy W's.

HPJoker
Oct 30, 2017

NEW LINEUP

LF Raines
DH Cabrera
1B Pujols
RF Dawson
CF DiMaggio
2B Lajoie
3B Schmidt
C Carter
SS Vaughan

HPJoker
Oct 30, 2017
With the 55th pick in the 24th Super Draft, the Ruston Ralphie Mays select... Frank Robinson, 1970, Right Fielder.

Ballistic Clipboard is on the clock

Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."



Super-League XXIV, Week 17: JUST loving END ALREADY!


: So, Maximum Clonage had ended, and Ben and Peter had learned to accept their lots in life, Ben as the de jure Peter Parker, and Peter as the de facto Peter Parker, and everything had been going great.
: No, it hadn't!
: Yeah, well, that's not going to change.



New Warriors (v1) #62 (August 1995)

Hey, remember Bad Haircut Gut? Well, he’s now fighting hallucinatory enemies as the New Warriors arrive and try and stop him. Scarlet Spider shows up and wonders what’s going on.



Bad Haircut Guy has evolved into Pineapple Guy!

They fight for a while. And then Scarlet Spider joins the New Warriors because he hates me and I hate him and everything hurts.




Web of Spider-Man (v1) #128 (September 1995)

Black Cat swings around New York, thinking about the ramifications of the only Peter Parker she had ever known being a clone. Suddenly, a wandering villain attacks!



Seems like a guy you can trust.

Ben and Peter hang out at Aunt May’s grave and notice someone trailing them. They trace the guy back to…some guy. It turns out that he works for Black Cat, who is missing now. They agree to help, and Ben asks Peter who Black Cat is. Peter explains they did stuff before he ditched her for Mary Jane. He feels compelled to help.

Elsewhere, unlicensed psychotherapy!



I don’t need to tell you how many hours the artist spent trying to pick a pose that would show off Black Cat’s boobs and rear end at the same time.

Black Cat decides that she must kill Peter. But Peter has a cunning plan to deal with that!



HEROISM!

Ben realizes that Peter is usually slightly more emotionally robust than that. Slightly. And finds that the villain that has been manipulating everyone’s emotions is none other than a guy named “D’Spayre.” He makes a vague appeal to Black Cat’s heart, and D’Spayre is thwarted…somehow. She thanks them and heads off.

That done, Peter and Ben get down to figuring out who should be Spider-Man.



Okay.

Ben decides he’s had enough of New York and is bailing.




Amazing Spider-Man (v1) #405 (September 1995)

Ben is ready to leave New York, but forgets that he’s bad at everything.



Ben tried.

He decides to stay in New York after all. Well, eventually. First, he’s going to go hang out at ACTION GENETICIST Seward Trainer’s cabin in Vermont for a bit. Okay, Ben, can you manage to relax in a cabin without loving it up?



Ben tried again.

Ben realizes that someone is trying to kill Seward, and recalls the first time they met.



It was at a time in Ben’s life where his skull appeared to be trying to escape his face.

Ben ends up captured by some of Doc Ock’s tentacles. BUT DOC OCK IS DEAD! WHAT COULD THIS MEAN?!




Spider-Man (v1) #62 (September 1995)

Ben ends up cyber-crucifed.



Ben died for your cyber-sins.

Ben passes out, and recalls that time he first met Seward Trainer. It was Vermont, Seward was inexplicably wearing a jumpsuit, and told Ben he can stay at his cabin. The one that blew up last issue. In the present, an unseen voice demands that Ben turnover Seward’s databank, showing that the voice has also captured Seward, and is slowly filling the room Seward is in with water.

Meanwhile, Peter is acting strangely.

The Vulture is flying around, and draining life from people.

Ben remembers him and Seward doing science and being friends together, and wakes up and escapes his bindings. He fights off some thugs, and then learns he’s actually been in Seward’s lab the entire time. He breaks Seward free, but the unseen voice escapes, and they decide to head to Seward’s other lab to make sure his files are safe.




Spider-Man Unlimited (v1) #10 (September 1995)

Ben heads back to New York to find out who’s been loving with Seward Trainer.

Vulture, meanwhile, finds out that he’s finally burned through all of the life force he stole from Spider-Man a while back. He starts draining life from other people, as all vultures do. Vultures and vampires are the same thing, right?

Queens! Some kid is arguing with his family about whether working for organized crime is wise. The kid is pro, the rest of his family is against.

Ben remembers that it’s the anniversary of Uncle Ben’s death, and goes to Uncle Ben’s grave to pay his respects and tell Uncle Ben that he totes remembers that whole power and responsibility thing. Well, except for the five years he just aimlessly wandered around America.

Ben clears out as he watches Uncle Ben’s old friend, Mulligan, who Uncle Ben helped out with tuition money a few hours before he got gunned down. Anyway, Mulligan’s kid, Jimmy, is the one that fell in with the mob. Ben pops out of the shadows, and pretends to be Peter and offers to help.

And Jimmy’s gang’s headquarters, the boss lays out the plan: Steal a prototype DVD player, basically. Vulture intends to steal stuff from the same lab.

Vulture, the gang and Ben all converge on the lab. Ben rabbit punches the gently caress out of Vulture.



Well, that’s going to cost Ben a point on the scorecards.

Vulture still escapes with a hostage, who he dumps off a bridge to distract Ben so he can get away. The hostage, as it happens, is a master of exposition, explaining how Vulture’s powers work.



Thanks!

Jimmy, the sole surviving gang member, goes back to the boss’ office, and explains that he wants no part of this, and the boss teaches him the error of his ways.



With a beating. It’s the only way Jimmy will learn.

Mulligan, learning of this, vows…REVENGE! But can’t go through with it. So Ben beats up the gang’s leader, beats up Vulture, and we all learn an important lesson about…something. Something about Uncle Ben’s influence enduring?




Spectacular Spider-Man (v1) #228 (September 1995)

Kaine is back and has some good news!



KAINE IS RISEN!

It turns out this is a nightmare that Peter is having, and it ends with Kaine removing his mask to reveal that he is Peter, and also the guy who’s going to kill Mary Jane. Peter mopes around, and starts hallucinating seeing the Jackal everywhere. Peter is concerned he’s suffering from clone degeneration.

Mary Jane, meanwhile, has become a model for maternity wear. So noted.

A spectral vision of Jackal appears, and notes that he had said a code phrase, “When the dream ends, the nightmare begins,” right before he died, and that triggered a command in Peter’s brain to kill the person he loves most.
Mary Jane is feeling chipper when she arrives home to see Peter sitting in a chair. He tells her that she should probably run, and explains that he’s been commanded to kill her. Mary Jane bashes Peter in the head with a lamp and then runs away to call the New Warriors, looking for Ben.

Spider-Man can’t help but hunt Mary Jane throughout the city, and since Mary Jane is not good at…things, he’s able to catch her pretty quickly. The New Warriors show up, and while Peter has no choice but to fight them if they get in the way, he’d rather they stop him.




Web of Spider-Man (v1) #129 (October 1995)

Ben shows up at the headquarters of the New Warriors to find that they’re all gone. He also learns why.

Peter, meanwhile, is urging the New Warriors to stop him, only for them to prove not nearly good enough to do that.



Ben’s friends tried.

Peter finishes off the New Warriors just as Ben arrives. Peter explains the situation, and the New Warriors once again try and prove they don’t suck.



Ben’s friends tried again.

Ben, however, isn’t quite as bad as the New Warriors, and delays Peter long enough for Mary Jane to come up with a plan that involves driving away in a cab.



Finally, a hero I can relate to!

Peter also keeps punking the New Warriors.



Peter, it’s not that they’re holding back, it’s that they aren’t very good.

Mary Jane ends up leading Peter to Aunt May’s house. She invokes the power of heart. It works. Well, there you go.

Also, this is the last issue of "Web of Spider-Man", because Dan Jurgens was moving from DC to Marvel to work on Spider-Man, and they wanted to give him a new #1 issue to work with. Farewell, Web of Spider-Man, you were definitely in the top four of monthly Spider-Man comics in the early '90s.


Games of the Week

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Smasher Dynamo
Oct 16, 2008

Eternal Commissioner of the Super League. A new avatar. A new age, of the same old embittered Smasher that failed to escape the bonds of the SL, FM3, Johnny Hopp and Eri Yoshida "The Knuckle Princess". "The flames of Smasher's ire scorch the skies... Igniting St. Bellhorn's funeral pyre."









Analysis

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Standings



Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮


Lefty Gomez to SP4. That is all.

AkumaHokoru
Jul 20, 2007
Team Name: Homer Power

Team Logo (150x150 preferred):

Home City: Parts Unknown (EL PASO)

Home Stadium: 325-375-400-375-325


1993 AL All Stars - 5
2002 NL All Stars - 5
1904 Cincinnati Reds - 1
1903 St Louis Cardinals - 1

DH - 1993 Frank Thomas
C - 2002 Mike Piazza
1B - 2002 Lance Berkman
2B - 1993 Paul Molitor
3B - 1993 Wade Boggs
SS - 1993 Cal Ripken Jr.
LF - 2002 Barry Bonds
CF - 1993 Ken Griffey Jr.
RF - 2002 Vladimir Guerrero

BN - 1993 Ivan Rodriguez
BN - 1993 John Olerud
BN - 1993 Roberto Alomar
BN - 2002 Scott Rolen
BN - 2002 Andruw Jones

SP - 1903 Mordecai Brown
SP - 1904 Noodles Hahn
SP - 1993 Randy Johnson
SP - 2002 Curt Schilling
SP - 1993 Mike Mussina

RP - 2002 Trevor Hoffman
RP - 2002 John Smoltz
RP - 2002 Robb Nen
RP - 1993 Jeff Montgomery
RP - 1993 Jimmy Key
RP - 2002 Tom Glavine

MN - 1904 Bob Ewing
MN - 2002 Todd Helton
MN - 2002 Jimmy Rollins
MN - 1904 Joe Kelley
MN - 2002 Sammy Sosa


Lineups:

vs. RHP

1.) 3B - Wade Boggs [L]
2.) DH - Frank Thomas [R]
3.) C - Mike Piazza [R]
4.) LF - Barry Bonds [L]
5.) 1B - John Olerud [L]
6.) CF - Ken Griffey Jr. [L]
7.) RF - Vladimir Guerrero [R]
8.) SS - Cal Ripken Jr. [R]
9.) 2B - Paul Molitor [R]

vs. LHP

1.) 3B - Wade Boggs [L]
2.) DH - Frank Thomas [R]
3.) C - Mike Piazza [R]
4.) LF - Barry Bonds [L]
5.) 1B - Lance Berkman [S]
6.) RF - Vladimir Guerrero [R]
7.) CF - Ken Griffey Jr. [L]
8.) SS - Cal Ripken Jr. [R]
9.) 2B - Paul Molitor [R]


Strategy (Rate on a scale from -5 to +5)

Hit and Run: -1
Sacrifice Bunt: -2
Squeeze Play: -5
Trying for extra bases: 0
Stealing Bases: -3
Aggressively Tagging Up: 0
Pitch Outs (to prevent stolen bases): -1
Giving Intentional Walks: -5
Pitching Around Good Hitters: -5
Bringing the Infield In: +2
Guarding the Lines: +2
Making Cutoff Throws: 0
Bringing in Pinch Hitters: -2
Bringing in Pinch Runners: -5
Bringing in Defensive Replacements: -2
Starting Pitchers on Short Rest: -4
Letting pitchers pitch throw trouble: 0
Letting Pitchers rack up high pitch counts: +1

code:
CSV:
thomafr04,1993,HOM,,,Frank,Thomas
piazzmi01,2002,HOM,,,Mike,Piazza
berkmla01,2002,HOM,,,Lance,Berkman
molitpa01,1993,HOM,,,Paul,Molitor
boggswa01,1993,HOM,,,Wade,Boggs
ripkeca01,1993,HOM,,,Cal,Ripken
bondsba01,2002,HOM,,,Barry,Bonds
griffke02,1993,HOM,,,Ken,Griffey
guerrvl01,2002,HOM,,,Vladimir,Guerrero
rodriiv01,1993,HOM,,,Ivan,Rodriguez
olerujo01,1993,HOM,,,John,Olerud
alomaro01,1993,HOM,,,Roberto,Alomar
rolensc01,2002,HOM,,,Scott,Rolen
jonesan01,2002,HOM,,,Andruw,Jones
brownmo01,1903,HOM,,,Mordecai,Brown
hahnno01,1904,HOM,,,Noodles,Hahn
johnsra05,1993,HOM,,,Randy,Johnson
schilcu01,2002,HOM,,,Curt,Schilling
mussimi01,1993,HOM,,,Mike,Mussina
hoffmtr01,2002,HOM,,,Trevor,Hoffman
smoltjo01,2002,HOM,,,John,Smoltz
nenro01,2002,HOM,,,Robb,Nen
montgje01,1993,HOM,,,Jeff,Montgomery
keyji01,1993,HOM,,,Jimmy,Key
glavito02,2002,HOM,,,Tom,Glavine
ewingbo01,1904,HOM,,,Bob,Ewing
heltoto01,2002,HOM,,,Todd,Helton
rolliji01,2002,HOM,,,Jimmy,Rollins
kellejo01,1904,HOM,,,Joe,Kelley
sosasa01,2002,HOM,,,Sammy,Sosa

AkumaHokoru fucked around with this message at 00:59 on Mar 29, 2018

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016


Pitch through Trouble Slider to +5

Vs RHP
Willvengeance takes over for Bell at CF
Collins takes over at 2B for Sandberg

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!


FYI

shepard.shouldgo
Feb 2, 2016


good time to have the tag belts!

HulkaMatt
Feb 14, 2006

BIG BICEPS SHOHEI


KEEP GOING CROWS! LET'S BEAT THE MIKES AWAY!

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DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
Smasher is a good man and a smart man, but he is wrong about the New Warriors, who are awesome.

And terrible at being superheroes, but awesome nevertheless.

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