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Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Jet Jaguar posted:

Privacy Win! Facebook Is Adding A ‘Protect My Data’ Button That Does Nothing But Feels Good To Press

Starting today, Facebook users can press the “Protect My Data” button to hear an incredibly satisfying ding and see an animation of a lock securing on their screen that has absolutely zero effect on anything, but really feels like you’re stopping third-party data harvesters dead in their tracks.

UPDATE: Every Facebook User Who Clicked The New ‘Protect My Data’ Button That Does Nothing But Feels Good To Press Has Had Their Data Stolen By Cambridge Analytica

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Arist
Feb 13, 2012

who, me?



Holy poo poo :laffo:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


DuffelBlog: HERO: US Marine rescues cougar trapped in local bar

C.M. Kruger
Oct 28, 2013
Feminism FTW: This Empowering New Children’s Book Teaches Young Girls That Women Of All Shapes And Sizes Can Hunt Dogs

Double Agent
Mar 28, 2005

Maybe we're not just a bunch of frak-ups after all.
John Bolton Warns War With North Korea Won’t Be Cakewalk Like Iraq

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/978361462694522882

Good headline, better art but don't miss the body :discourse:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


They did a better one today.
https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/978345874618187777

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012

Get bashed, platonist!

The Onion is going absolutely ham on the NRA.

Dana Loesch Rethinking Loyalties After Seeing How Much Airtime Teen Activists Getting

Also, their twitter banner is now the picture of Robert Mueller clinging to the roof of the presidential limo. That one's my favorite.

Croisquessein
Feb 25, 2005

invisible or nonexistent, and should be treated as such
I have a request. There was an article similar to "no way to prevent this" but about Middle East conflicts, written to be totally generic and applicable to any situation, so generic that I have no idea what to search for. Like it had all these multiple choice placeholders and you could insert whichever one worked for that day. Anybody know the one? It was from like twn years ago I think.

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

Croisquessein posted:

I have a request. There was an article similar to "no way to prevent this" but about Middle East conflicts, written to be totally generic and applicable to any situation, so generic that I have no idea what to search for. Like it had all these multiple choice placeholders and you could insert whichever one worked for that day. Anybody know the one? It was from like twn years ago I think.

Maybe this one? BREAKING: Middle East Conflict Not Solved Today

Croisquessein
Feb 25, 2005

invisible or nonexistent, and should be treated as such

I think this is the one, thanks!


I hadn't read this in years and I was crying laughing just now. I need more like this and the Dognitaries one.

Lysidas
Jul 26, 2002

John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.
Pillbug
Point/Counterpoint: Oh, Are The PC Police Here To Arrest Me For Havin’ Opinions? vs. Sir, We Are The Regular Police And You Need To Come Out Of That Slide

Whiz Palace
Dec 8, 2013

Pretty much "sir, this is a Wendy's drive-through" in article form (not that I mind)

The MSJ
May 17, 2010



https://www.facebook.com/clickhole/photos/a.1461385317435063.1073741828.1439042583002670/2038363976403858/?type=3

This is my favorite response.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



wow yea thats a drat good one

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Are You Ready To Take The ClickVenture Challenge?

Rahonavis
Jan 11, 2012

"Clevuh gurrrl..."

Whiz Palace posted:

Pretty much "sir, this is a Wendy's drive-through" in article form (not that I mind)

So where does "Sir, this is a Wendy's drive-through" originate? I've tried looking it up and I just get the quote but no source.

Gizmo Chicken
Feb 17, 2011

Yep.
https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/979032888271429645

Last Chance
Dec 31, 2004

its a good parody article 'cause IRL he would just have slaves

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
I call BS on a techbro realizing the technology he just "invented" already exists

Handsome Ralph
Sep 3, 2004

Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!


Open For Business: Tommy Lee Jones Finally Turned 18

:lol:

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Police Repeatedly Shoot Tim Cook After Mistaking iPhone For Gun

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Unpaid Internship A Really Great Experience For Local Company

Olaf The Stout
Oct 16, 2009

FORUMS NO.1 SLEEPY DAWGS MEMESTER
Jeb Bush’s Children Vehemently Deny Having Ever Loved Father

How do they match such perfect pictures to headlines like these.

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
Teens don't indulge in vice the correct way is my favorite Kelly take.

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Pththya-lyi
Nov 8, 2009

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
‘I’m Not Really Looking To Date Right Now,’ Says Man, As If He Not At Mercy Of Love’s Powerful, Mysterious Ways

Echo Chamber
Oct 16, 2008

best username/post combo
https://twitter.com/theonion/status/980904107534946306?s=21

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Report: Imagine How Good It Would Feel To Just Crawl Back Into Bed Right Now

Jet Jaguar
Feb 12, 2006

Don't touch my bags if you please, Mr Customs Man.




This... speaks to me on a fundamental level.

Aramek
Dec 22, 2007

Cutest tumor in all of Oncology!

I love these ones, I dunno if there's a term for it, but it's when they are so verbose and grandiose in the classic fashion about something mundane.

StandardVC10
Feb 6, 2007

This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant

Aramek posted:

I love these ones, I dunno if there's a term for it, but it's when they are so verbose and grandiose in the classic fashion about something mundane.

This one could be seen as a similar style.

SCheeseman
Apr 23, 2003

Oops wrong thread!

SCheeseman has a new favorite as of 18:07 on Apr 3, 2018

zoux
Apr 28, 2006

StandardVC10 posted:

This one could be seen as a similar style.

One of my favorites

Also, not quite in the same vein but I've always had a soft spot for Bush Regales Dinner Guests With Impromptu Oratory On Virgil's Minor Works

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Oklahoma Leaders Claim Teachers’ Strike Betrays Values Of Nation’s 1914 Founding By Abraham Lincoln And Orville Redenbacher

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


New Poll Finds Public Becoming More Skeptical Of Profit-Driven Corporate Data Mine Powered By Human Misery

TapTheForwardAssist
Apr 9, 2007

Pretty Little Lyres
Duffel Blog: Sharing of memes criticizing presidents without military service has decreased by 87%, study finds

Last Chance
Dec 31, 2004

Absolutely biting commentary there. Just riveting

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veni veni veni
Jun 5, 2005


StandardVC10 posted:

This one could be seen as a similar style.


The best one

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