Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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T Bowl: Feb 6, 2006; Shut up DUMMY

You hosed up cheating on your fiance dude, no way around it, and that relationship is doomed. Please don't kid yourself into thinking it's not, even if she forgave you it's still doomed. I won't go all into it but trust me your best course of action is to just fess up and let it go, and find the next person, one who maybe wants to have sex.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 18:07

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# ? May 11, 2024 18:37

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

loquacius posted:

I feel like both of these results are exactly what I'd expect from a show with this premise

I only watched a couple of seasons but Beauty and the Geek was actually a really fun show. I don't know how much was caused by the producers/editing (ha, probably all of it), but generally speaking all of the "beauties" got along with the "geeks" and basically they just had a lot of fun together and the reunion show sort of showed that quite a few of them grew from the experience.

I also liked King of the Nerds too, so maybe I just have really bad taste in stuff.

# ? Apr 2, 2018 19:20

The Mighty Moltres: Dec 21, 2012; Come! We must fly!

So did you receive the $1100 bux?

# ? Apr 3, 2018 03:55

ElectroMagneticJosh: Oct 13, 2006; Lets Volt In!!

T Bowl posted:

You hosed up cheating on your fiance dude, no way around it, and that relationship is doomed. Please don't kid yourself into thinking it's not, even if she forgave you it's still doomed. I won't go all into it but trust me your best course of action is to just fess up and let it go, and find the next person, one who maybe wants to have sex.

Adding to the above that once you are married any assets you share in the marriage could* be in jeopardy if this comes out afterwards. Financially going ahead with things is likely to cause bigger issues - I say tear that bandaid off asap.

*I don't know what laws apply, what assets you may be bringing to the relationship, what could already be considered to be shared, or if anything is protected by trusts/prenups.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 11:21

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

I support the lowtax memorial avatars for spines foundation, and these posters who stop posting disgust me to the core

# ? Apr 3, 2018 12:46

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

I�d love an avvie like that for a good cause. Apparently the one I have right now was �gifted� by someone who clumsily attempted to doxx me, or something. Like, that dude is supposed to be me? I tried to get to the bottom of that story once but got bored before I figured out what supposedly happened.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 15:12

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

HerStuddMuffin posted:

I�d love an avvie like that for a good cause. Apparently the one I have right now was �gifted� by someone who clumsily attempted to doxx me, or something. Like, that dude is supposed to be me? I tried to get to the bottom of that story once but got bored before I figured out what supposedly happened.

There's a load of people with those YOSPOS avs with similarly blank-faced looking individuals, I was wondering what was up with that.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 15:29

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

HerStuddMuffin posted:

I�d love an avvie like that for a good cause. Apparently the one I have right now was �gifted� by someone who clumsily attempted to doxx me, or something. Like, that dude is supposed to be me? I tried to get to the bottom of that story once but got bored before I figured out what supposedly happened.

I think better title text for that guy's facial expression would be "PLEASE WORK OUT"

quote:

I worked for a small Ohio trucking company named Craig Transportation in the early 2010s. We did mostly local deliveries, not usually anything over a 300 mile haul. Contracted mostly to the big shippers in the area at the time - Heinz, Anchor Glass, and Maytag.

On July 11th of 2012 I saw the weirdest thing in my life. I started work and my boss gave me my assignment - hauling 7 pallets of construction material for a private contractor. 120 miles. Easy job I thought.

I get to the site and it�s just a guy�s house on a looong driveway. I�m about to call the office when this guy comes running out and informs me that he�s the shipper. He uses a pallet jack to move those 7 pallets into my trailer, then tells me he�s gonna ride up front because he�s gotta monitor the material.

That�s fine with me but I tell him I�ll need an extra hundred bucks for it. He reaches into his jeans and pulls out a big wad of cash, tells me I can have all of it. It was 900 dollars. When I told him that he just said he didn�t need it anyway.

I�m worried this guy has a deathwish so I keep a close eye on him. Any time my truck got close to 65 mph he�d tell me to slow down, that his stuff couldn�t handle that speed. According to the Bill of Lading it was all ceramics and wood, so I just figured he was crazy and oblige him.

We get to the delivery site and there�s nothing there. Not that unusual for building materials, but what was weird was there were no other people.

I open my trailer and the guy happily unloads his 7 pallets. That was weird already, usually people ask me to do it. But he kept talking the entire ride about how fragile this stuff was and how it was urgently needed.

He wheels all his stuff towards this big hunk of metal I became convinced was an art installation of some sort. They explained everything. I try making small talk as he�s wheeling those pallets, asking if he�s an artist.

He says he is but not how I�m thinking, then asks me what kind of art I like. I admit I�m pretty dumb about that stuff, but I like Van Gogh paintings. He agrees with me and says he does too. He then explains that this thing is �like a Van Gogh painting made real�, so I�m really intrigued.

He opens up those 7 shrink wrapped pallets and pulls out a bunch of ceramic tiles, so the BOL was true. This is where things turn odd. Those tiles were all white, and they started changing colors as the sun hit them. Like the scales on a fish, or maybe like a really shiny mirror. It�s hard to explain.

The guy starts stacking them up in piles, some only a few inches tall, some almost as tall as him. I ask if I can help and he keeps saying no. I ask about getting paid, since I still needed the final delivery signed off on. He says the 900 bucks should cover the wait until he finishes, since he�s gotta inspect it all.

5 pallets were full of those tiles. The other 2 had a bunch of PVC (I think) pipes. He stacks some PVC pipes, lays a few between the tiles, and sticks a few in the dirt. The whole thing is interconnected at this point by pipes. He basically made a little Stonehenge of tiles.

Then he runs this big plastic tube from the metal hunk to the tiles. Between the nearly silent ride, his obsession on keeping the tiles safe, and his money - I�m sure this guy is crazy and tell him I need the money now so I can leave.

He pulls out a huge wad of cash again - this time it�s over 3000 dollars. More than enough for the rate. And I start going to my truck when I hear this sound like a Blue Whale.

The guy has pulled out this piece of metal and is using it like a conductors baton, and either those pipes or those tiles is producing music. Weird stuff, like animal calling. But really beautiful, too.

He smiles this huge smile when he sees me turn around and yells �you can stay and watch!�.

I sat there for 30 minutes. This guy waving his arm and making sounds like birds singing, cats meowing, dolphins chattering. Some noises I didn�t recognize. If he noticed I seemed confused he�d yell out what animal it was. Did you know starfish make noises? I learned that. Worms, too.

At the end of the little concert I can�t help it, I start applauding like crazy. I figure this guy is an artist and musician and this is the most oddly beautiful thing in my life.

Then this dude tells me I should leave before the last part. I figure this is some performance art part, so I oblige and wish him good luck on the show. I start driving off and see this big puff of red smoke rising from the trees as I drive away. Again, I just figure this is his show.

That weekend I drove back there, hoping to see the guy again and watch that show again. He�s not there, none of his stuff is there. But there�s a big thicket of bushes that grew there that I hadn�t seen before. No chance in hell those things grew in 4 days. I dig through them a bit and see one of the pipes still stuck in the ground. I keep digging and find a few more, but nothing like that massive installation he set up. And none of the tiles.

I have no idea what happened, if he intended it to happen, what those bushes ended up there for, or who that guy was. I have never seen or heard of an artist like him before, or a musical act that involves animal sounds like that.

A lot of times I think I should have turned around when I saw that red smoke. But between him tossing the money and telling me to leave, I guess i wasn�t supposed to.

I looked up the name of the guy on the BOL and found some random dude in Mississippi. He had no idea what I was talking about. The number associated with the order just connected me to Verizon.

I kind of liked this, but I have a note: I think it would have been better if something about the art disturbed you or was offputting or threatening, instead of being just a nice show that you enjoyed but didn't understand. Could have used more tension.

quote:

This is going to be gross, just a warning.
I have this friend at work, and he and me were both promoted at the same time when two other workers left the company abruptly. Our new jobs involved meeting clients, so each of us got a pretty nice office on the third floor with window views and all that, and the company even renovated them for us. This is where the problem starts.
You see I went to high school with Greg and we were always super competitive, but in weird ways. As part of the office renovation, the company gave each of us a small Devil's Ivy plant (Epipremnum aureum). Greg and I immediately started to compete to see which of us could grow their office plant better.
Six months later, my plant has grown twice as much as his and is trailing halfway across my window sill. My secret is that once a week, I sneak a little bit of my feces out of the bathroom, dilute it in water and use it to fertilize my plant. I think this is because I eat a very healthy diet and it gives me a little spiritual connection to this plant that's always in my office with me as well. Clients are actually starting to remark about how well I have gotten this thing to grow. There's an air exchange vent right above and behind my desk so there is no smell, and I only use a small amount of feces mixed into water anyway, no solids.
There's this girl in the next office over that I really want to get with, and I keep hinting to her that I have a "plant secret" that she really wants to know now. I am thinking about giving her a bottle of feces water as a present as "liquid plant food" and the thought of how illicit and inappropriate that would be in a work context really turns me on now when I think about her while jerking off.

yeah this was only a little gross until the part about the "plant secret" at which part it got grosser

Better start getting to work now on a better secret to tell her than "I poo poo in it" because that will not go over well

# ? Apr 3, 2018 15:39

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

HerStuddMuffin posted:

I’d love an avvie like that for a good cause. Apparently the one I have right now was “gifted” by someone who clumsily attempted to doxx me, or something. Like, that dude is supposed to be me? I tried to get to the bottom of that story once but got bored before I figured out what supposedly happened.

Nobody's trying to doxx you. there's just a thread in yospos where rich computer touchers buy avatars for posters who don't have them yet as a way of supporting these stupid dead forums, because the tax man doesn't want to just open a patreon or something for some inexplicable reason

# ? Apr 3, 2018 17:04

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Funny, I have a very similar secret for how I make forum posts

# ? Apr 3, 2018 17:52

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

Sagebrush posted:

Nobody's trying to doxx you. there's just a thread in yospos where rich computer touchers buy avatars for posters who don't have them yet as a way of supporting these stupid dead forums, because the tax man doesn't want to just open a patreon or something for some inexplicable reason

If you say so. I took a look at yospos after I noticed the change and didn�t see any thread that looked like it might contain an explanation. I tried contacting others with similar avvies, nobody I talked to knew anything. Great advertising, at least the silent majority avvies look awesome, these are just unimaginative and lame. Oh well.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 20:32

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Sagebrush posted:

Nobody's trying to doxx you....

Actually I've been trying, unsuccessfully I may add. Getting closer every day though.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 20:38

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

yes, but whose studdmuffin

WHOSE????

# ? Apr 3, 2018 20:46

HerStuddMuffin: Aug 10, 2014; YOSPOS

Hers. It�s right there in the name.

# ? Apr 3, 2018 21:00

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Sagebrush posted:

Nobody's trying to doxx you. there's just a thread in yospos where rich computer touchers buy avatars for posters who don't have them yet as a way of supporting these stupid dead forums, because the tax man doesn't want to just open a patreon or something for some inexplicable reason

I thought he already had one with GamingGarbage? IIRC he gets more of the actual money from forums spending than Patreon's cut.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 11:58

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Just the one today

quote:

So I've been lurking the submarine murder thread, and a lot of goons seem to think the guy who killed that journalist is a freak solely because he watches gore videos, which unsettles me.

Like a lot of goons, I have always had an interest in the macabre. I grew up looking at stuff like Rotten.com and reading a lot of true crime books. Whenever I would read about some sort of death video or something (like the Nick Berg beheading) I would look it up.

I have a reddit account that only exists on my phone.

More recently I've curated a multireddit with a bunch of gore... stuff like /r/crimescene or /r/watchpeopledie.

It's not a sexual thing, but I will admit when I'm stressed or angry I tend to go in more often. I really find stuff with guts etc fascinating, suicides where heads get blown open, car crash victims, etc. Sometimes I watch snuff too... mostly it's ISIS videos but there's some murderers who've put their stuff online. There's rumors of more hardcore stuff like Daisy's Destruction on the deepweb, but I'm pretty sure even a dead kid counts as CP so I'm not going to seek that out.

I'm a little paranoid that someone who observed my browsing history, coupled with my Netflix (recently watching Forensic Files, Dexter, etc) or library history (been reading about Ted Bundy) would label me a psychopath. I'm not. I'll admit I like to muse about how I would serial kill, if I chose to, but I don't actually have any desire to go out and do it.

Anyways, I sometimes wonder if I'm really that weird/different or if people just don't want to admit they all are curious.

PS: Don't say "get therapy" - I tried that for many years until I realized that most of my stress stems from people bullying me or not giving me what I want. I read in one of my true crime books that Charles Manson used "how to win friends and influence people" to recruit his cult, and by applying those principles I've become quite charming.

sorry but

get therapy

You're telling me "I don't need therapy because I have applied the same strategies used by murderous cult leader Charles Manson and now people like me

" as though that's gonna convince me you need help less. Just think about that one for a sec.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 18:36

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

No, you're not weird. Definitely the vast majority of people don't go searching out loving Daisy's Destruction because we don't want to get in trouble for CP. Very normal.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 18:40

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

What is that, I don't want a Google search for it anywhere near my work or home PC

Is it like a snuff film of a kid or what

# ? Apr 4, 2018 18:41

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

loquacius posted:

What is that, I don't want a Google search for it anywhere near my work or home PC

Is it like a snuff film of a kid or what

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Scully

# ? Apr 4, 2018 18:44

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

That's just standard "depressed guy with no self worth who wants people to think he's a secret ~twizted psychopath~" because he watches poo poo like dexter. Like this is the guy who posts statuses like "lol what does it say about me that I just watched all of mindhunter in one day". He wants people to think he's dark and mysterious/dangerous. Namedropping daisy's destruction makes it even more obvious.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 18:55

Burning_Monk: Jan 11, 2005; Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to know

ALFbrot posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Scully

Well I'm done with the internet for today. Jesus Christ.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 19:01

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Burning_Monk posted:

Well I'm done with the internet for today. Jesus Christ.

That made me queasy jfc

# ? Apr 4, 2018 19:06

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

People like that make me think I'm not such a bad guy. Jesus gently caress.

# ? Apr 4, 2018 19:13

Harry Potter on Ice: Nov 4, 2006; IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED

wesleywillis posted:

People like that make me think I'm not such a bad guy. Jesus gently caress.

I mean, I'd hope so. Kinda low bar though

# ? Apr 4, 2018 19:25

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

wesleywillis posted:

People like that make me think I'm not such a bad guy. Jesus gently caress.

Your namesake was a pretty cool guy, so you can't be that bad.

# ? Apr 5, 2018 03:57

kazr: Jan 28, 2005

Humanity was a mistake

# ? Apr 5, 2018 04:33

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

ALFbrot posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Scully

Oh Jesus Christ.

# ? Apr 5, 2018 04:42

jimmyjams: Jan 10, 2001; King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong

PetraCore posted:

Oh Jesus Christ.

# ? Apr 5, 2018 04:45

Bobby Digital: Sep 4, 2009

*clicks link*

# ? Apr 5, 2018 04:52

tangy yet delightful: Sep 13, 2005

ALFbrot posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Scully

I started reading "oh ok that weird CP aussie I heard in the news", wiki section specifically for Daisy's Destruction...how bad could wikipedia be anyway?

[READS]

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

# ? Apr 5, 2018 04:59

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

tangy yet delightful posted:

I started reading "oh ok that weird CP aussie I heard in the news", wiki section specifically for Daisy's Destruction...how bad could wikipedia be anyway?

[READS]

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

puppet master strikes again

# ? Apr 5, 2018 05:00

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

The part that got me on a delay is I'm p sure just from reading that article that his accomplices weren't just victims who survived and didn't have anywhere else to go.

EDIT: Okay that's a lie, they could be willing participants, but I really wouldn't be surprised if they weren't.

PetraCore fucked around with this message at 05:07 on Apr 5, 2018

# ? Apr 5, 2018 05:02

marathon Stairmaster sesh: Apr 28, 2009; ALL HAIL CEO NUGGET
1988-PRESENT

*clicks link to wikipedia article about the man on mobile*
:stonk:

marathon Stairmaster sesh fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Apr 5, 2018

# ? Apr 5, 2018 05:07

value-brand cereal: May 2, 2008

I'm still lolling about the dude who's intentionally breaking his own brains looking at gore. Sad!

# ? Apr 5, 2018 05:36

Caganer: Feb 15, 2018

yeah I eat rear end posted:

That's just standard "depressed guy with no self worth who wants people to think he's a secret ~twizted psychopath~" because he watches poo poo like dexter. Like this is the guy who posts statuses like "lol what does it say about me that I just watched all of mindhunter in one day". He wants people to think he's dark and mysterious/dangerous. Namedropping daisy's destruction makes it even more obvious.

Wants to be dark and mysterious?

It�s not like the fesher mentioned A Serbian Film. How the gently caress do you even learn the title of it, it�s not like it pops up under IMDB�s �more like this�. How do you �name drop� something normal non psychopathic people don�t know exists?

Unless you�re the type who... reads Wikipedia a articles on convicted pedophiles for fun :stare:

# ? Apr 5, 2018 06:11

spookykid: Apr 28, 2006; I am an awkward fellow
after all

Scully has had several multi-page tangents devoted to his sick rear end in the 'PYF unnerving article or story' thread; I believe most of which have mentioned Daisy's Destruction, and purported darknet distribution of the same. It's a good thread, if not a little morbid at times.

# ? Apr 5, 2018 07:34

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Dannywilson posted:

Scully has had several multi-page tangents devoted to his sick rear end in the 'PYF unnerving article or story' thread; I believe most of which have mentioned Daisy's Destruction, and purported darknet distribution of the same. It's a good thread, if not a little morbid at times.

My jokes don't always go over well in that thread. There's some really heartbreaking poo poo in there though.

# ? Apr 5, 2018 09:07

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

Caganer posted:

Wants to be dark and mysterious?

It’s not like the fesher mentioned A Serbian Film. How the gently caress do you even learn the title of it, it’s not like it pops up under IMDB’s “more like this”. How do you “name drop” something normal non psychopathic people don’t know exists?

Unless you’re the type who... reads Wikipedia a articles on convicted pedophiles for fun

It isn't super common knowledge i guess but I definitely heard the title before, i'm guessing from my shameful past when i used to read 4chan. I didn't think it was actually real though, I thought it was just one of those internet urban legend type of things.

# ? Apr 5, 2018 12:19

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

yeah I eat rear end posted:

It isn't super common knowledge i guess but I definitely heard the title before, i'm guessing from my shameful past when i used to read 4chan. I didn't think it was actually real though, I thought it was just one of those internet urban legend type of things.

I learned about it from these very forums, usually in the context of worst thing someone can think of.

# ? Apr 5, 2018 12:28

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# ? May 11, 2024 18:37

A Strange Aeon: Mar 26, 2010; You are now a slimy little toad; The Great Twist

Can someone explain what it is without going into explicit details? I don't really want to look up gross stuff on Wikipedia, especially if it's some horrendous CP footage.

# ? Apr 5, 2018 12:58

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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