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gently caress not Doom Guy and Bear gently caress you RNGesus
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Apr 9, 2018 23:30
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 10:44 |
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My champion killed my other champion 
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Apr 9, 2018 23:45
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The word "epic" gets thrown around far too often these days, but I can't think of any other way to describe this finale.
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Apr 10, 2018 01:16
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Gridlocked posted:gently caress you RNGesus Still, even though a lot of good Tributes have already died, this is a hell of a way to start things off. My favorite event so far is Ainsley choking out Evil Ryu. My least favorite is Debbie killing herself after Guy killed the bear.
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Apr 10, 2018 02:07
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Frank Reich is out for blood yet again 
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Apr 10, 2018 03:13
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 I'm desperately waiting for the conclusion.
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Apr 10, 2018 03:24
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the only thing that could make this better is if it all turns out to be viral marketing for the next Zoofights.
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Apr 10, 2018 03:31
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I think that Mike McDonald is going to win this with the power of smooth.
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Apr 10, 2018 04:24
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 Psst. Hey, tall lady! Down here!  Oh! A little green man! How cute! I'm Tingle! I am I am I am hee hee hee... Y..You're with Qurry, aren't you? Maybe! Maybe not, maybe I am, you never know, never know! Ha ha! A riddle, a puzzle, a conundrum of silliness! You're a very strange little guy, aren't you? I guess we can work together... Splendid, splendid splendid!   Dammit...reduced to having to eat to survive...I'll never understand the fascination some of the Q have with mortals...so...messy. Sit still, you overactive sea vertebrates! Hey, boss? I found a dead rat floating in the river...we could eat that, I guess?  Forcefield, activate! Aha, gotcha, tubbo! Ah poo poo! Oh gently caress! DUDE! YOU GOTTA LET ME GO! Let me talk ta ya first! I was going to remove all the oxygen from the force field bubble and move onto the next member of Qurry's army, but I GUESS I can listen to you first. Please man, I don't wanna help that rear end in a top hat Qurry! I don't wanna blow up the universe! I just want my slice o' the pie, ya dig? What do you mean? I mean, enemy of my enemy is my friend, right? I ain't no resistance member, but I ain't no Qurry soldier either. I'm in this for BIG SMOKE only, and that means for now, our goals is the same! Don't do me in, man, come on! I already died once and it sucked rear end, man! Well, ok I guess. Our numbers are low right now and we can use all the help we can get...so welcome to the resistance, sort of?  Ha, look at those resistance members...I'm a team player, and I'm on team Qurry. They crossed the wrong quarterback!  hmmm, delicious...  Most of their leadership is dead...they're scattered...disorganized. I need to eliminate what remains of their...ahem...brains  Now, if I just attach the sharpened stick to the pole...whoop-ATCH $%^#  Aw...Hideo, you found some wonderful supplies in the cornucopia...sure would be a shame if someone took them...  What is this...water? What am I supposed to do with this? I can't drink it with my mask on...and if I remove it, the enemy could learn my identity...  Come on you sadistic camelid, kill me! I'll just regenerate into Matt Smith! You can never win! While that is indeed a tempting prospect I do not fancy a run in with Matt Smith today and will respectfully decline. If someone else offs you though, let me know so I can kill you again and meet Peter Capaldi.  Hey boss, I killed the bear and then that singer girl offed herself! Two points for team Qurry! Excellent. Continue your killing spree. I was just wondering...now...picture this...FLAVOR CITY!...no, wait...FLAVOR PLANET! Do you think we can make a flavor planet when this is over? You fool...you don't get it, do you? The only way this program can end is when all but one are dead. And that one will not be you...  oooo boy am I gonna whip up the best meal the resistance ever tasted! just need a few more ingredients...  
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Apr 10, 2018 06:14
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Sweet Jesus, we're only 4 dead away from the halfway mark.
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Apr 10, 2018 06:55
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Cmon Al you gotta win this poo poo for Tim (Allan)
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Apr 10, 2018 09:59
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This is tense and brutal stuff. Poor Remy!
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Apr 10, 2018 13:50
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Huh did you turn up the death rate for this round? I was considering doing that for the loser's bracket match.
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Apr 10, 2018 13:51
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 Phoebe, have you seen Jethro around anywhere? Not since the very start...Things aren't going well, are they, Dr. Crusher? Not really, Phoebe. Qurry's army has a numerical advantage and most of our leadership is dead. If we lose, what'll happen to us? To everyone? Well, if what Q said is right...it'll be the end of everything we know. But we can't give up. As a Starfleet officer, I'll fight to my last- Hey, resistance pukes! I'm the SHOCKER! And we're gonna roast you all and build a better universe, with blackjack and spandex! HEY! YOU! I'm sick of you all playing with people's lives like this! I'm sick of all your talk! COME OVER HERE AND I'LL SHUT YOU UP! THAT'S RIGHT, YEAH, YEAH I THOUGHT SO! Uh...yeah be seeing you later.  Uh...Mr Pointy Guy, you don't look too good... Silence, rodent... Shredder, you really should stop and rest...drink something, maybe. You've been pushing yourself too hard. The Shredder never rests! I will...pre...vail...urrrrrk Brain, what are we going to do tonight? Stop asking me that, Pinky...I'm running out of steam and I don't know how to overcome these odds...most our muscle is dead...Doomguy, Bear, Q, Mr. Bones...and now the Shredder. The fate of the universe rests with the likes of Jethro Bodine, Phoebe Buffet, and Booster Gold...Excuse my pessimism but I'm starting to lose hope. Oh, joy, water. I would be more appreciative, perhaps, if I wasn't camped out next to a freshwater river. So, you're a time traveler too, eh? Indeed. Been bouncing around time and space for about 800 years now. Think we'll get out of this alive? Always have hope, Booster. I saw terrible things during the Time War...not just Daleks, but the Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child.... But through it all I kept pressing on. As long as you draw breath, there's a chance to change the universe for the better, even if it is only in small ways, we can, we must! I understand what you're saying...I saw my best bud murdered by someone who I thought was our friend. That feeling of betrayal and loss never goes away...but I've got to keep going, I've got to keep trying. It's what he would have wanted. Oh god dammit! Why is it so dark. It's hard to navigate at night...I don't want to lose track of you, Coach Tim. Ah..Frankie! I didn't know you cared...I'm feeling a bit of affection for you, too! I know that humans regard you as some manner of culinary expert but I think that you are highly overrated except as ground up seasoning for my own confectioneries. Ok Llama...I'll make you eat those words! I challenge you to a cook off! So, I've been wondering...now that I know what's been going on behind the scenes, I have to ask...what was up with that Costco business? Why were the Q signing marketing contracts with Costco? Oh, my foolish boy...I suppose given the circumstances I might as well tell you. Costco is a front for Q operations in the human world. So you're saying...that the Costco corporation is owned and operated by the Continuum? Of course! Could a human have found a way to sell all beef hotdogs for $1.50? I think not...  As the defacto leader of the resistance remnant...I'll accept your help but we will be keeping an eye on you. Self preservation is a strong motivator but I suspect you could be a spy... Dude, you're just as bad as Qurry! Always worried about spies and poo poo...I don't wanna help you guys but I sure as hell ain't letting all this get destroyed...  Welp, think ah may have gaped 'er too far this time. This activity is too strange, too strange for Tingle! Never again, never again!  quote:Huh did you turn up the death rate for this round? I was considering doing that for the loser's bracket match. Guilty as charged, it seemed narratively appropriate. Probably only have time for one update a day or at this pace...apologies in advance if I miss a day, I don't want to get sloppy at the end. We should reach the conclusion by end of the weekend. Stay tuned... Polly Toodle fucked around with this message at 08:42 on Apr 11, 2018 |
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Apr 11, 2018 08:39
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There's the hunger games I know and love 
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Apr 11, 2018 14:34
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 Hmm...Shocker doesn’t seem all that interested in crushing the Resistance.
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Apr 11, 2018 15:47
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From what I remember from the Spiderman cartoon he wasn't that well defined, maybe he just got the hots for Phoebe.
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Apr 11, 2018 20:33
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sMk-HPBF6Mw This is literally the only thing I remember about 90s cartoon Shocker. He still had the most ‘shocking’ win of the games; finding out Jed was a husk full of rats.
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Apr 11, 2018 20:41
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Oh, Jethro! There you are! We were looking for you! Hey there, Phoebe! Hey, I was hanging out with that Tim guy and his clown bud last night and they told me if I joined them they'd give me a planet full o' grits and okra and bananas! What? Jethro! They're the bad guys. You shouldn't be talking to them! Oh come on, I want that banana planet! Get out of here, Jethro! Narf! Hey Brain, I know you're feeling down, but I'm not giving up! Look what I made! Thanks, Pinky. Let's do this! Soon, my pretties...soon Heh heh, to kill a time lord I'll have to be sneaky...Hey, ugly! I made you a tasty beverage What the devil are you up to? Well...hey, look over there! huh? Oh, nothing, drink up! Considering the circumstances, I suggest we acquire some physical weaponry...your mind games will only work on some of our foes. Very well...how...distasteful (limping)ack...dammit....why are so many of the plants around here so sharp. Oh snap, there's those resistance women again...guess I'm done for now. Shocker! Sit still. You're losing a lot of blood. I know you're on the other team...but I can't just attack or kill an injured person like this. I took an oath, afterall. I'm doctor, not a mercenary... What? You're going to...help me?  Hey, Qurry! I've earned the trust of the resistance, they suspect nothing! Excellent! You've done well, Big Smoke. Were you...able to find anything to eat? So far I've been...unable to catch any of these infernal fish. Heh heh, here you go, "boss." What? This tastes...off...no, you...didn't! Everything...spinning...nooo...not...like....this Nobody crosses Big Smoke! I ain't workin for nobody but BIG SMOKE MUTHA#$%^! Ah, now this is a place you can shag in! Hee hee hee...nobody expect Tingle! Nobody, nobody nobody! Slow and steady...slow and steady! I don't like this little dude...I better keep an eye on him... Ainsley Harriott... your time is up. I have no time for your hunger games, Qurry. I fight against a different kind of hunger...and I'm the best there is at it! Even your sociopath llama thought so! What hope do you have to defeat me? Me, whose might shatters worlds!? I may not be able to physically overpower you...but I challenge you to participate in my hunger games! Welcome to the kitchen, demon.  I concede defeat, Harriott. That dish was scrumptious and I cannot concoct something equal to it...
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Apr 12, 2018 06:52
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That's an entertaining interpretation of the defeats-but-spares event. Anyone got an appropriately amazing Ainsley cooking video?
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Apr 12, 2018 07:33
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Come on, RNG. Give me that Shocker redemption arc I’ve been hoping for.
Supersonic Shine fucked around with this message at 07:46 on Apr 12, 2018 |
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Apr 12, 2018 07:34
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No one controls Big Smoke except BIG SMOKE
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Apr 12, 2018 07:43
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I got super invested in Booster and the Doctor hanging out. God drat!
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Apr 12, 2018 13:27
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Dantel is carrying over tactics from the island, I see.
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Apr 12, 2018 16:08
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Friggin' spike plants man...why Stupid, stupid spike plants! Ugh...I haven't rested since we got here... I once stayed up for two weeks straight as part of the Schrute Family coming of age initiation ceremony... That sounds terribly unhealthy I was hallucinating at the end...at least, I think that was what was happening...ugh...maybe a short rest won't hurt. Ah, a delightful love bomb... Uh...not sure what that guy is doing? Avoid him, Jethro...no good can come from hanging around that one. TROZ! What are going to do in the morning, Brain? I suggest getting better acquainted with the peripheral regions of this reality bubble...we need to better understand this place. Perhaps there is something here we can use to our advantage. The doc did a great job patching me up...I wasn't expecting to be shown kindness from them. I think I've been fighting for the wrong side... Accursed mortal body...is this, exhaustion I feel? Look at that, the universe is forming around us! Every time I see the big bang I am humbled...amazing, really. Why are we here? Why is there something instead of nothing? So many questions...even here, at the beginning of everything, we still don't know... That's what makes life worth living, Llama. Perhaps there is more to you than meets the eye... Am I...a good llama?  Yes, yes! Weaponry! He's coming around the corner...get ready, Ainsley! Tingle, god of the universe! The universe...soon, soon! Tingle victori-- Now! Get ready for a serving of green freak, flambe style! Great job, man! That's another baddie down. We can still do this! DANTEL MUST KILL TO SURVIVE! Ouch! Shoot, he's too close to trap in my forcefield! Ainsley, run! I'll get help! Hold on man! I won't go down without a fight! DANTEL, MASTER OF SURVIVAL ARTS! Can't...get...loose... So it looks like our side is winning...with Booster down, are there even any real threats left? The remaining resistance members aren't exactly the best and brightest. Was there ever a doubt, Mikey? Not that it matters...when this is done, I'll have to restart the hunger games from scratch...we'll need new champions...all the work so far...lost.
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Apr 13, 2018 06:06
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I for one am glad that Tingle is dead.
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Apr 13, 2018 06:07
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Man, Ainsley's doing pretty well. This is an interesting formatting experiment too, having the tributes talk to each other between screenshots of what happened.
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Apr 13, 2018 11:45
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Caufman posted:I for one am glad that Tingle is dead.  Here is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCUQWZ80lmM&t=11s
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Apr 13, 2018 15:02
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I'm surprised that Mikey Mac doesn't consider the Doctor a threat. But perhaps that hubris will be his team's undoing... (I am loving riveted)
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Apr 13, 2018 19:24
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Please don't be angry. I'm just disgusted by his hideous face is all.
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Apr 14, 2018 01:55
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Let's go Pinky and the Brain. I also like the added commentary/story between the screenshots.
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Apr 14, 2018 03:35
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Frank, no!!!!!! With him and Booster out, my money’s on Ainsley Harriet now. At least they took out Tingle, that fucker.
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Apr 14, 2018 04:02
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Ainsley Harriet for the amazing cooking power or BIG SMOKE because he's only in the game for BIG SMOKE
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Apr 14, 2018 04:07
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I've got to atone for past wrongs...I've got to take out the evil behind these terrible "games"...am I strong enough? Oh, hello Llama! I know you're supposed to be evil and all that but I just wanted to say that I adore your cute little hat! Oh, thank you, I guess... Are...are you ok? Do you need something to eat? I found some great fruit over there... I am going to kill myself. Wha..what? Is...is it because you don't have any fruit? I am a bad llama and I have not used my time in the sun in a manner that is appropriate or beneficial to anybody including myself, ergo, I am a waste of space and deserve to die. Now..now..look here Llama, you can't kill yourself! I really appreciate your concern but there is no hope for me, it is time for me to allow the sweet taste of nihilism to wash the stain of sin from my fur. No, I can't let you! Listen, it must be fate that brought us together today, most of the other resistance members would be all too happy to let you kill yourself...but I wouldn't do that! I know about this stuff...my mother killed herself. Really? How? I'm not gonna give you tips. But seriously...maybe in the past you did some terrible things, maybe you haven't accomplished anything...but you still have time! You can change yourself, make a new, better path in the universe! Every day is a new chance! Never give up, Llama! Th...thank you strange human female. I now know what I must do to redeem myself... Dammit...that monster killed Booster and there was nothing I could do...I've got to be ready... Blasted cold mornings... Careful, little critters...that was a nasty fall! Thank you, Mr. Bodine. If you hadn't been here our injuries would have been much worse. We've got to make it to the northernmost point of the arena... just outside the cosmic radiation zone. If my calculations and studies of past games are correct, there is a commentary booth buried underground there... NARF! What are we going to do there, Brain? I'm not sure, Pinky. But it may be our only chance. I better stick close to you guys, it sounds like you know more than I do! Ha ha! Ahhh...scintillating mangoes! Delicious pleasurable papayas! SUSTENANCE REQUIRED....NEED...FLESH! Aw shiiit. Why it gotta be you? I trying to lay low and here you are in my way.  Ahhhhh gently caress man that's gross as poo poo!  Stop it man ain't nobody wanna see that. $%^& you man 
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Apr 14, 2018 06:33
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An alliance so bizarre it defies any attempt at commentary.
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Apr 14, 2018 15:02
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I Said No posted:An alliance so bizarre it defies any attempt at commentary. -The games as a whole
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Apr 14, 2018 15:08
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I Said No posted:An alliance so bizarre it defies any attempt at commentary.  I read that event to mean that those tributes spent the day hunting for other tributes...but not necessarily together. Shocker, I offer my services as a kicking and biting and killing machine to you to use for the greater good. Alright, Llama, let's do this! What do you two want? Having trouble finding the resistance? They're headed north, you buffoons! Hey Clown, I got a real "joy buzzer" for you! What are you doing!? You're on our side! McDonald if you interfere in our ascension to righteousness I will chew into your neck and urinate down your windpipe. We should set up camp here by this small pond...we'll continue our journey north in the morning. This pond is bigger than the cement pool we have back home in Beverly Hills! I wonder how Uncle Jed and Cousin Elly are doing? Jethro, they are dead. Have you forgotten? Oh yeah...I can't believe I considered helping Qurry! I've got to avenge them... It's ok, Jethro. We've all been under a lot of stress recently. Hopefully that control room will have some answers...anyway, can you help me set this tent up? Sure thing Phoebe...Hey, Ainsley, how's dinner coming? ...strangled...right in front me...I couldn't save him...that monster...biting into him... Jethro, leave Ainsley alone. He's still dealing with Booster's death. I'll take care of the food...just help Phoebe get that tent up! It's very dark here...we should be safely concealed...but, just to be safe, can you keep watch, Doctor? Of course...rest up everyone, we should reach the control room in the morning. Who's out there? Hol' up man! It's just me! BIG SMOKE! What do you want? Look bro, I know how this gonna' go down. Y'all done killed most of Qurry's team and turned the rest against him. Dantel's still out there though, and I hella don't want to run into that bastard. I ain't helping that fool Qurry no more, so let me hang out with you till this all blows over? Fine. You can help me keep watch...but remember, I'll be keeping my eye on you... THAT GOLDEN MAN...HE WAS NOT A CHAMPION OF THE HUNGER GAMES...MERELY AN APPETIZER...THE BONE MAN...A CHAMPION...BUT THERE WAS NO FLESH! I MUST FEED ON THE FLESH OF A CHAMPION! UNTIL THEN...I AM A FAILURE.... We are losing control of the situation...our team dwindles and defects...the clown, dead! Even this lovely dinner is not enough to distract me from our deteriorating lead! Oh dry up, I never liked the clown anyway...and the others...well, what of it? All is going according to plan...the resistance should reach the commentary booth in the morning...and when they do, all hell will break loose...a pity Q wasn't around to warn them!
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Apr 15, 2018 08:02
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Mmm, I think I see some teamkills coming over the horizon.
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Apr 16, 2018 03:27
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Dr Crusher...we're almost at the commentary booth. I've got this device I salvaged from the cornucopia that should buy us some time if anyone is pursuing us...but I'm not sure I can arm it safely. We could use those surgeon's hands of yours. No problem, should be eas- Mikey dear, be a doll and retrieve me some more of that savory, sweet fruit.... Well, alright...I'll get some for you. Hello, you putrid purveyor of puerile pornographic perverted pursuits. Ah, Llama...your alliteration is appreciated. But, I know what you did to the clown and while *I* cackled like a schoolgirl the whole time, Qurry Prime is not pleased with you... I am going to extract your spinal cord via your urethra and use it as a garrote. Fool. you should have brought the Shocker with you...this kitten has claws! I regret nothing! This should be a safe vantage point to watch...some of them are already going inside. Those idiots! They know nothing of the engineering of these games...one touch of the controls in the commentary booth will be the end of them! What good are these now? Psst. Hey, resistance lady... Oh, hello Shocker! Can't talk long...got to warn the others...stay away from the commentary booth! I overheard the Qurrys talking about it...I think its a trap! Oh, ok! Better hurry! I think Brain and the others are already there! FOOL! I HAVE YOU NOW! I SHALL FEAST ON YOUR FLESH! I thought you only wanted to eat the flesh of a champion? THAT IS MY PLAN YES. Well, I'm no champion...I ran out of the games in a forklift and have been on the run ever since. I'm the opposite of a champion! But...there's someone here who is a champion of the hunger games... DANTEL IS LISTENING, STRANGE MAN Glad I ditched those resistance peeps...just gonna camp out here and let'em kill each-other off. As expected, the commentary booth is abandoned... Indeed. I expect the controls are functional, however. If we move carefully, we may be able to influence the games in our favor. ZORT! What are you doing with the glowing stick, Doctor? Oh, this? This is my sonic screwdriver...I'm trying to get a read on these controls with it. Can I see it? Well, ok, just don't touch any of the buttons.... Egads, so many blinkies! Look at this red one, Brain! Pinky, no! Pinky! you just killed the Doctor! Whoops! Sorry Brain! I won't touch it again... Good god Pinky! He was one of the last intelligent ones left! Now I'll have to decipher these controls alone... Hey, I'll help! Sweet mercy no! Jethro, go look in that other room...but don't touch anything Hey guys, there's a big door in here marked "EXIT"! I'm outta here! Jethro, don't open that-(Jethro opens the door, which opens up into the vacuum of space. The Arena begins to rapidly decompress, and Jethro is sucked out into the void of space) Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh.... Pinky, run! We have to get out of here!
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Apr 16, 2018 04:42
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 10:44 |
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 Big Smoke, hurry! We have to get out of here! The arena is being sucked into the void of space! The hell man? Ok, let's go! Huff....huff...almost to safety Hey, rear end in a top hat...(punch) Oh no! I'm too late! In the end, you were a good man, Shocker. That's all that matters. MCDONALD. YOU ARE A FLESHY VICTOR OF THE GAMES! PREPARE TO DIE. Are you crazy? We have to get to higher ground! The whole arena is falling apart! TODAY, I DINE ON THE BLOOD OF A CHAMPION! (CHOMP) Ahhhhhh! Phoebe, run! Get to safety, you're out last chaaaaa..... Brain, Pinky! Noooooooooo! Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarf Well, that went splendidly! Tactical advantage assured! Gentlemen, prepare to issue in a new world! 
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Apr 16, 2018 07:26
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