politically-loaded maps: sputtering flemishly

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > politically-loaded maps: sputtering flemishly

TapTheForwardAssist: Apr 9, 2007; Pretty Little Lyres

FreudianSlippers posted:

Beards are like the Ainu thing.

A British explorer hung out with them for a while, and in 1893 wrote a book called Alone With the Hairy Ainu. Which is honestly kind of a catchy title, if not the most gracious.

The guy was a real weirdo, tons of anthropological zeal but a total spergy lack of social graces and nuance. I believe part of the book implies he hooked up with an Ainu woman mostly because he wanted to see how hairy she was. He captured a lot of really interesting stuff too, but amidst it all was kind of a dickbag.

I recall one specific bit, where he was curious about sense of taste among the Ainu, so while he was crashing in their village he would sneak up on sleeping people and poke their tongues with a lead pencil. I can only imagine what kind of conversations people had around the campfire about this guy: "did he... did he jam a stick in your mouth too?" "Just let it go, guy's a loving weirdo but murdering him would be a hassle, so just play along."

# ? Apr 10, 2018 02:29

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# ? May 27, 2024 17:31

KOGAHAZAN!!: Apr 29, 2013; a miserable failure as a person

an incredible success as a magical murder spider

yaffle posted:

Is that "percentage of men who are hairy" or "Percentage of any given male body which is covered in hair"

Hirsuteness is not a binary condition, so.

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

He captured a lot of really interesting stuff too, but amidst it all was kind of a dickbag.

A 19th century anthropologist, a dickbag? With weird ideas? Never.

On a tenuously related note, I found my copy of The Golden Bough the other day. Picked it up, flicked to a random page and wow people everywhere seem to be terrified of menstruation. It just goes on for pages and pages and pages listing all the various curses and terrible spiritual maladies a menstruating woman is supposed to be able to cause just by looking at you/touching you/making your food/being in the same room/looking at a cow.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 02:52

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

TapTheForwardAssist posted:

A British explorer hung out with them for a while, and in 1893 wrote a book called Alone With the Hairy Ainu. Which is honestly kind of a catchy title, if not the most gracious.

The guy was a real weirdo, tons of anthropological zeal but a total spergy lack of social graces and nuance. I believe part of the book implies he hooked up with an Ainu woman mostly because he wanted to see how hairy she was. He captured a lot of really interesting stuff too, but amidst it all was kind of a dickbag.

I recall one specific bit, where he was curious about sense of taste among the Ainu, so while he was crashing in their village he would sneak up on sleeping people and poke their tongues with a lead pencil. I can only imagine what kind of conversations people had around the campfire about this guy: "did he... did he jam a stick in your mouth too?" "Just let it go, guy's a loving weirdo but murdering him would be a hassle, so just play along."

This guy is a great example of why so many commonly-used names for ethnic groups translate to "strangers" or "weird talkers".

# ? Apr 10, 2018 02:59

A Buttery Pastry: Sep 4, 2011; Delicious and Informative!

Quorum posted:

Don't knock the military prowess of the genetically engineered Holy Synod of Commando Alligator Bishops.

Those are crocodiles.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 07:04

TapTheForwardAssist: Apr 9, 2007; Pretty Little Lyres

Autonomous Monster posted:

Hirsuteness is not a binary condition, so.

A 19th century anthropologist, a dickbag? With weird ideas? Never.

On a tenuously related note, I found my copy of The Golden Bough the other day. Picked it up, flicked to a random page and wow people everywhere seem to be terrified of menstruation. It just goes on for pages and pages and pages listing all the various curses and terrible spiritual maladies a menstruating woman is supposed to be able to cause just by looking at you/touching you/making your food/being in the same room/looking at a cow.

There's a lot of vaginal magic stuff out there in folklore in general. Just going from memory, but there are all kinds of historical incidents of things like women going out to face an opposing army and exposing their vulvas to hex them.

One famous example in Ireland is the "sheela na gig" which are gargoyle-like statues outside of churches of women flashing the ol' split beaver. There are a number of theories about how those got popular (though flat-out porn is not among them).

Since they're very vaguely NSFW, I'll just link the article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheela_na_gig

# ? Apr 10, 2018 09:17

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Shibby0709 posted:

They're hairy.

thats awesome

# ? Apr 10, 2018 10:28

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Plutonis posted:

the vatican endorsed the teutonic crusades against the poles so who knows

Those were crusades against the Baltic tribes, not against the Poles, who were already Christian at that point and in fact hosted the Knights at the start.

They did end up carving territory out of Poland, but that wasn't the original goal.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 11:18

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

Phlegmish posted:

They did end up carving territory out of Poland, but that wasn't the original goal.

Sounds familiar

# ? Apr 10, 2018 11:54

double nine: Aug 8, 2013

feature creep is a hell of a drug

# ? Apr 10, 2018 12:14

Orange Devil: Oct 1, 2010; Wullie's reign cannae smother the flames o' equality!

"Hmm those are some nice lands you have there."

- A medieval knight starting some poo poo that will last for centuries

# ? Apr 10, 2018 12:34

root beer: Nov 13, 2005

Here's a post on not only how hosed up, but also wildly inconsistently hosed up, the US map is in the Masters logo

# ? Apr 10, 2018 19:26

Albino Squirrel: Apr 25, 2003; Miosis more like meiosis

Dreddout posted:

Kaiser Wilhelm claimed go have seen this in a dream

I'm the Russian dessert

Not gonna lie a collection of polyethnic republics would probably have been a whole lot less warlike than the 20th century turned out to be.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 19:49

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Nah.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 19:51

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Phlegmish posted:

Those were crusades against the Baltic tribes, not against the Poles, who were already Christian at that point and in fact hosted the Knights at the start.

They did end up carving territory out of Poland, but that wasn't the original goal.

Rather, the Poles were the right kind of Christian. The Russians got targeted later on by the knights.

# ? Apr 10, 2018 23:49

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Even after the Lithuanians finally converted they still had to deal with a few decades of crusader aggression.

Possibly because the first time they converted it didn't stick. King Mindaugas was baptized around 1250 but it was purely for PR as he never stopped worshipping the old gods and only a decade later he stopped pretending and outlawed Christianity from Lithuania. So the Crusaders had some reason to not buy it when the Lithuanians converted again a century later.

# ? Apr 11, 2018 04:05

Byzantine: Sep 1, 2007

# ? Apr 11, 2018 04:26

Arglebargle III: Feb 21, 2006

Albino Squirrel posted:

Not gonna lie a collection of polyethnic republics would probably have been a whole lot less warlike than the 20th century turned out to be.

Civil war still counts as war.

# ? Apr 11, 2018 04:38

my dad: Oct 17, 2012; this shall be humorous

Arglebargle III posted:

Civil war still counts as war.

Meh. Just plain old war is enough.

# ? Apr 11, 2018 04:40

Randarkman: Jul 18, 2011

Blut posted:

Why are Norway & Sweden (and to a lesser extent Finland) so high, comparatively? It seems out of kilter with the rest of Northern Europe going down in % as you go Northwards.

Well, I'm Norwegian and I'm very hairy. It's pretty lightly colored though (darker on my back and chest, lighter on my arms and legs) so it doesn't look as werewolf-ish as that ainu man (also not as much), but yeah. One time when I was travelling with a group in Europe and our bus got stopped by the highway for several hours we passed the time by shaving my back. Thanks for letting me post about my body hair.

# ? Apr 11, 2018 05:07

fishmech: Jul 16, 2006; by VideoGames; Salad Prong

Blut posted:

Why are Norway & Sweden (and to a lesser extent Finland) so high, comparatively? It seems out of kilter with the rest of Northern Europe going down in % as you go Northwards.

Perhaps what we're seeing, and explaining the jump from the 50-59% hairy Danes to the 70%+ hairy Swedes just across the sound, in areas formerly Danish, is that there was less detailed sampling going on than at first appearing? And so the smoothing between relatively sparse data in some places might be extrapolated to make nice smooth maps that produce deceptive results.

So a better survey method might produce much narrower to nonexistent bands of the lower-hair people between, and making the jump to very hairy peninsular Scandos less abrupt.

# ? Apr 11, 2018 05:28

CaptainRightful: Jan 11, 2005

https://twitter.com/CarlZha/status/983889657820626944

# ? Apr 11, 2018 20:43

Whiz Palace: Dec 8, 2013

______ can _____________ every day for twenty years and, somehow, not get any better at it.

taxi drivers, drive
Americans, distinguish Middle Eastern countries

# ? Apr 11, 2018 21:08

Ras Het: May 23, 2007; when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child - but now I am a man.

I stared at the map in the picture on the right for like two minutes trying to find the error

# ? Apr 11, 2018 22:24

Armacham: Mar 3, 2007; Then brothers in war, to the skirmish must we hence! Shall we hence?

They got the name 50% right

# ? Apr 11, 2018 23:21

double nine: Aug 8, 2013

https://twitter.com/maartenzam/status/984156788395335681

# ? Apr 12, 2018 08:54

Stefu: Feb 4, 2005

In addition to the map few pages back showing that the most Nazi-voting areas in the German Republic were in the areas later annexed by Poland, look at this map of the socialist (ie. SPD + KPD) vote in 1932: