|
We’ve put together a new budget (I’ll put it up here when I’m at home) using Every Dollar. New YNAB is a steaming pile of poo poo, I don’t like Mint, and Every Dollar is pretty intuitive. She’s been entering all of her transactions into the account manually so far, and has been real on the ball about it. We’ve decided to each have individual discretionary weekly allowances as part of our discretionary, with some still for joint use. She feels like she’s been doing a lot of bipolar emotional spending, and we’re hoping that this will help, while also making sure we don’t just blow it all at the start of the month.
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2018 18:37
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 21:47 |
|
|
From personal experience budgeting helps a lot with bipolar spending
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2018 18:45
|
|
|
Yeah, and now she can actually look at and understand the budget. She could just never understand Mint, this you basically log in and it takes you straight to the budget screen rather than one with tons of different options. It had been a situation where I was supposed to just tell her how we were doing on something before she spent anything, but A) she would buy stuff without checking and B) I hate that arrangement.
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2018 18:53
|
|
|
Hey have you talked over with the wife how to keep each other accountable without causing a big rear end fight? A template of sorts you can both follow that says no judgement but you messed up the budget
|
|
#
?
Mar 29, 2018 19:14
|
|
|
Veskit posted:Hey have you talked over with the wife how to keep each other accountable without causing a big rear end fight? A template of sorts you can both follow that says no judgement but you messed up the budget No, probably really need to do that. I missed my chance for a good April Fools post like Cornholio made, but actual good news. My wife was bemoaning how she missed when she felt like having $1,000 in savings was pretty good, since her therapist had told her that $1,000 is really good for our age in this economy. I told her that 70% of people in this country don't even have $1,000 in savings, and after a bit more talking she legitimately had an epiphany that she had been driving herself crazy with a savings obsession. She said she felt like her dad giving us $5,000 last Christmas was him telling us that we didn't have enough saved. I reminded her that $3,000 was because he heard I had crashed my car, and $2,000 was to help us move. She thought for a minute and said "Let's find a place to move and get the gently caress out of here." I believe we've agreed on having 1 month's expenses in the bank (we're doing the 1 month ahead thing, just distributed 1 month's costs into checking and I'll have every paycheck delivered into savings) and an extra $1,000 plus savings for any trip we have coming up. I'm not planning on taking many trips, but we at least have to make this one in August to see my almost 90 year old grandmother. Time for the house hunt to go up to 100% now that we're ready to move. I'm still going to check back in a couple days to make sure we understand each other on what we agreed. E: I also paid almost all the bills for the month already just to get it out of the way. I just have to go into one bank in person because their automatic payments from another bank are pretty much impossible to figure out, pay my auto insurance, and wait for the landlady to deposit rent. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 01:35 on Apr 3, 2018 |
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 00:37
|
|
|
total tangent but I am going to murder the gently caress out of people who say "in this economy" what the gently caress are they going to do in the next honest to god recession
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 01:47
|
|
|
I don’t disagree. Although if she’s anywhere near competent financially, billing $110 per hour the answer for her is probably “buy a ton of foreclosures, make millions off of rentals.”
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 02:10
|
|
|
If the economy tanks it will be very difficult to raise the funds to buy a bunch of foreclosures
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 17:00
|
|
|
That depends on how she is doing before the economy tanks, and how bad whatever her investments are get hit relative to everything else. A lot of people around here only own houses because they did well enough through the recession they could buy the dip ( )
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 17:10
|
|
|
KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:total tangent but I am going to murder the gently caress out of people who say "in this economy" what the gently caress are they going to do in the next honest to god recession  Don't be average, savings is good. But your wife's attitude on finances worries me, OP. Both from her many months of obsessive savings to now wanting to not have savings and just move.
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 17:54
|
|
|
Yeah, it could definitely be a bipolar swing, but we would still have savings even after a move. We would have enough to move, keep the month ahead cycle, and still have enough money saved for this trip in August. Maybe more, I’m assuming over $4k to move. Then we could build up extra savings to get a bit of a buffer if an emergency hits and we run over one month.
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 18:08
|
|
|
What's your current (or 3/31, whatever) cash/savings position vs target? I think you should move from everything you've said in this thread, but do it wisely. Moving from (IIRC) a goal of 10k and wanting CC debt to hit the savings goal to 1k instantly because your therapist said its fine worries me a lot.
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 20:49
|
|
|
Are you still looking for a new job closer to where you currently are? Or if you move are you ok with where you are at?
|
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 21:06
|
|
|
I really don’t know about that part. Stuff is so volatile right now I have no idea. If I could find a nearby or WFH junior dev job I would jump ship immediately, but in a college town with a Computer Science Bachelors program there’s nothing for someone with an AS. I think the $1,000 part is being helped by the fact we’re also keeping an extra month’s expenses (~3,500) in the bank at any point too. So it’s more like $4500 plus travel savings. I’ll get that cash/savings position vs target to you this evening. Not sure what you mean by target. Last month’s target or the new one? Total in checking/savings is $7850 with $1270 more bills to pay this month, including rent. I paid off as much as I could yesterday. Now I just need to wait for the landlord to deposit the check, pay a loan in cash, and wait for my car insurance bill to be available to pay. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 21:28 on Apr 3, 2018 |
|
#
?
Apr 3, 2018 21:16
|
|
|
Pain in the rear end, a collections agency called my wife this morning. Apparently they had been trying to reach me, but never left any messages. Good news: I emailed the doctor the bill was for and explained that the payment agency he hired never picked up or returned my calls when I tried to pay them. I offered to bring cash into the office if he would take it back from the agency, and he agreed. He’s also going to have a word with the payment center that is the only way to pay by card. So my wife will be going by to pay today and sort that out. I’ll be sure to get a receipt so if the collections agency keeps hassling me I have proof of payment. It’s nice not caring about my credit score. I’m not getting a car loan again except in an emergency, I’m not getting another CC, I can’t afford a house for another 10 years or so, so if I couldn’t get it taken back from the agency I could let them sit there hurting my credit score all they want and it doesn’t bother me. And then after long enough I could negotiate them way down because then they at least get something. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 17:57 on Apr 9, 2018 |
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2018 17:35
|
|
|
We’re also a little bit over budget so far for this month, but that’s including a very expensive grocery trip with ingredients we won’t be buying again this month. I’d need to take a closer look at the budget on the PC so I can see it better, but I think we’ve spent about 40% of our non-bill budget about 1/3 through the month, but usually by Monday on payday week we would be running over and needing to postpone bills or pull temporarily from savings to make it through. And now I don’t even need to think about when payday is except for comparisons like that. All of our bills are paid except car insurance, which wasn’t ready when I paid everything at the beginning of the month. No interest in the CC, so that’s completely gone. So this is way better than usual, particularly last month. Can’t slack off now, but following a budget really does feel like getting a raise. I’m about to buy some new shoelaces and some polish for my boots and I don’t feel guilty about it. My wife bought some art supplies with her allowance and I didn’t feel stressed about it. Financially we’re both feeling great, and she’s been completely on board and in the ball with making sure transactions get entered into Every Dollar.
|
|
#
?
Apr 9, 2018 21:23
|
|
|
Great work! Just be careful, this period of elation is when the bad purchasing decisions, the "I can reward myself"s, start to slip in.
|
|
#
?
Apr 10, 2018 15:59
|
|
|
I’m definitely aware of that part, and I’ll be doing everything I can to avoid it. Honestly, just being able to buy non-essentials without feeling guilty is a reward at this point. I’m about to file reimbursements that will wipe out the last of the FSA card, but that also means getting about $550 back into my bank, and I wasn’t expecting it to last this long anyway.
|
|
#
?
Apr 10, 2018 16:11
|
|
|
That improvement in life quality is the big thing I feel a lot of people underestimate about budgeting. Being able to buy more stuff you like is great and all, but just the raw feeling of "wow, I can feel confident in my purchases and not worry" is simply invaluable. Folks who get accustomed to that anxiety and guilt whenever buying something nice have no idea what they are missing out on, it truly doesn't have to be this way. Hold onto that positive feeling, and remind yourself you can and will maintain it with the right discipline.
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2018 00:21
|
|
|
Yeah, no kidding. I remember years and years ago there was a steam sale thread and someone recommended YNAB (when it was something you could buy on Steam). He said how he had bought a bunch of games and wasn't worried about it at all because it was part of his budget and he wasn't overspending. This weekend I think I'll go to Nordstrom Rack and see if I can find a dress shirt that fits at a good discount. I don't know if I said here, but most of my clothes are from 2013 or earlier, and I keep getting rips or holes, so I'm running really low on anything that fits. I redeemed my last AmEx reward points for an Amazon gift card just a few minutes ago, so next time I have to make some of my regular purchases on there that's $25 I don't have to spend. It's a little thing, but it's the first time I've redeemed points toward something other than a statement credit. Now there's no balance to put the credit towards.
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2018 03:14
|
|
|
Got hold of the Order Up lady that called me a while back. Going to run the background check and hopefully start driving not too long after that. I’ve done some napkin math and if I do a sole proprietorship the standard mileage deduction from the miles I drive delivering will be enough to pay for all of my standard maintenance overall on the car. This thing will still be worth about $4k with another 60-70k miles on it because Toyota Hybrid, so depreciation is minimal. I also average 40+ MPG around town but calculated off of 37 to be safe. The new tax code also has a 20% passthrough deduction on sole proprietorships, and yes I’ll be talking to a tax professional. This extra cash should help me pay off debts faster, and I find driving relaxing so it shouldn’t add to my stress. I really enjoyed my pizza delivery job when I had it, I just didn’t like it being my sole income. I know everyone hates on the gig economy, and it’s justified, but the schedule flexibility is huge for me and I know to actually pay attention like I’m running a business, because that’s basically what I’m doing. E: I joined a local OrderUp drivers group on Facebook, and yeah, there’s a lot of people saying “wait, I owe taxes even after the deductions?” or saying they’re deducting gas and maintenance on top of the standard mileage deduction as well as deducting their entire phone bill, insurance, car payment, etc. I don’t want to sound like a smug Zaurg, but I know tax stuff better than those people just thanks to reading this forum and the IT threads. And my day job gives me free legal and tax advice. 22 Eargesplitten fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Apr 11, 2018 |
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2018 19:23
|
|
|
I thought this was a side gig for your wife?
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2018 21:16
|
|
|
Yeah, but I want to do it myself too. She has barely been doing it.  At least she has been selling a lot of art? $150 this month so far, or maybe $180 now? Not sure. She also applied for a normal job a few weeks ago but didn’t get it.
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2018 21:22
|
|
|
22 Eargesplitten posted:Yeah, but I want to do it myself too. Aren't you busy with also repairing a different car? I understood what was going on when your wife wanted something to do on the side to keep her fulfilled and busy, but holy hell you're driving 3 hours a day, working i'm assuming at least 8, fixing a car and now considering spending time driving food?
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2018 22:13
|
|
|
yeah i would chill out, maybe spend some quality time with ya wife you don't need to fill every second of every day with projects
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2018 22:17
|
|
|
I actually spend like 90% of my time not working at home with my wife watching Netflix. There is only so much Grey’s Anatomy I can watch before my brain melts permanently. Driving is something I do to relax sometimes. Unless there’s anything in the contract against it she can ride along with me. There are definitely going to be times where I would rather do that than sit watching Netflix 2.5-3 hours and go to bed. I also barely do anything on the weekends, just sit around on my rear end and then I feel bad for being so unproductive. Im not going to do it 40 hours a week or anything, but I’d like to be able to do it a little bit and throw some money at my debts. The personal loan is at about $430 right now, and if I can knock that one out that’s $45 a month that I’m not spending on that one. I don’t think I’m being manic, we both have just been feeling really good and have been productive since we realized how well things are going financially. We’re being even more careful with our money, we’re cooking more rather than ordering or eating out, it’s really been encouraging. The weather suddenly shooting up to the 60s and sunny consistently has probably helped too.
|
|
#
?
Apr 11, 2018 22:35
|
|
|
watch less netflix just spitballin here
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2018 01:04
|
|
|
Consider redirecting some of that weekend time (at minimum) to some physical exercise. Physical health benefits aside, I think the activity will help you both mentally and it’s another activity through which to bond with each other. You’re in Colorado. I’m not from the US but I understood it to have a legendary outdoors culture with some fantastic national parks, etc. to explore. I think you should definitely exploit that, especially coming into summer.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2018 02:15
|
|
|
Yeah, it is a great outdoors area. We can’t really do anything in the winter because she gets cold extremely easily and SAD means she has no energy all winter. Hopefully this spring and summer we can find some free trails in the national / state forest. There’s a distinction between parks and forests, you have to pay to get in the parks.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2018 16:21
|
|
|
Just pay the 10 dollars it takes get your rear end outside.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2018 16:44
|
|
|
It’s like $20, which is hard to swallow when we probably can’t hike for more than 45 minutes with how out of shape we are. I think there are some trails up the highway 15-20 miles in the state forest. I just need to find an easy trail because like I said, we’re way out of shape. Looks like this Sunday is supposed to be clear and in the 60s. Maybe Sunday? Not sure if we have anything else going on.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2018 17:25
|
|
|
Just go anywhere outside for a half hour walk/hike when you get the chance. Hell, even a leisurely 10 minute walk around the neighborhood is better than nothing. Both getting outside and getting your body moving make your mood improve a lot, even if it's 'only' a short burst of walking.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2018 18:04
|
|
|
Yeah, we really like taking the dog around our downtown strip when it’s nice out. Or around the neighborhood, but it’s not as stimulating as seeing all of the people (and other dogs) out and about. Usually it’s maybe 15-20 minutes. The dog could probably do more, we just need to get her back into shape too. She’s spry for a 10 year old dog.
|
|
#
?
Apr 12, 2018 18:06
|
|
|
Work your way up to the hiking. Regular walks (try going into brisker pace periodically as is feasible) will help you get ready for whenever the weather is nice enough again for hikes. Try seeing it this way: The more you get into shape, the more you will really get something out of those hikes. And as hard as it might be, try not to set an absolutely mandatory bar for the hikes, either, rather just goals you would enjoy hitting. Shaming yourself for not hitting goal X won't make being outside and improving your fitness more enjoyable. Just keep at it as you can and be sincere and steady about it, just like you have with the financial goals.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2018 02:34
|
|
|
The thing is that even getting out for park walks will help you immensely on a number of fronts. 1) exercise will help both of you physically and mentally. 2) making time for it is a good lesson in both discipline and routine. This directly translates to providing those virtues for other areas (budget, getting to work, etc.) 3) it’s quality time together that is different to normal. It’ll help diversify how you two spend time together and that’s good. 4) it’s a good way to see progress and improvement and set goals. This ties back to point 1. 5) burning energy will help you sleep better, with benefits for both energy the next day and routine. You can work your way up to needing hiking in the paid areas, don’t feel you need to get there just yet. All of this is possible from even walking around the block, but I’d expect that some nice parklands and nature reserves should be more motivating and enjoyable, hence the suggestion. Note that with the SAD thing, it’s substantially warmer in the sun even on a cold day. 60 F is plenty warm for that if you wear even a thin jumper. As long as you’re sheltered from wind chill, you’ll be substantially warmer up and moving around outside than you would be sitting inside. Try to overcome that initial hump of lack of energy/laziness because once you begin it’ll be far easier to maintain that energy.
|
|
#
?
Apr 13, 2018 03:53
|
|
|
Getting out can also help a lot with SAD because you'll have something to look forward to. Skiing, ice skating, snowshoeing, winter hiking, etc. etc. are all great winter activities that can help you shift from "gently caress it's cold" to "gently caress yeah now I get to $X!"
|
|
#
?
Apr 15, 2018 17:21
|
|
|
turing_test posted:Getting out can also help a lot with SAD because you'll have something to look forward to. Not just that, but being exposed to actual sunlight (even in winter) is going to help a tonne compared to sitting indoors in artificial light. A large part of SAD often comes about from the spectra of light and standard indoor lights simply don’t produce them. That’s essentially what bright light therapy tries to achieve. The exercise itself will help, but besides that simply being outside and being exposed to actual sunlight will help on multiple fronts. You’ll sleep better, have more energy more consistently during the day, and the light exposure alone may well help directly with the SAD.
|
|
#
?
Apr 16, 2018 02:24
|
|
|
Her SAD is weird. Even with how sunny CO is during winter it doesn’t really help. Sun lamps don’t help, vitamin D pills (prescription) don’t help, we really don’t know what it is. I had an epiphany yesterday when I realized that despite thrift stores never having anything that fits, eBay has a ton of stuff from brands I know fit. I got two J Crew shirts for $24 listed as excellent condition (coming out of my allowance). That is going to help me rebuild my work wardrobe a lot more quickly to replace all of the clothes that have fallen apart.
|
|
#
?
Apr 18, 2018 17:54
|
|
|
Exercise helps a lot. I've purchased some like new or new with tags clothing off of eBay, its always worked out well. Inspect seller history, pictures/description, and stick with brands you know (like you did) and you should have good results.
|
|
#
?
Apr 18, 2018 18:10
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 21:47 |
|
|
Yeah, I’m definitely double inspecting it after I get it. Either of those shirts would be $60-70 by themselves in store, if not more. I need basically everything but pants, shoes, and belts at this point. I’ve been trying not to buy stuff for myself for maybe 4 years so most of my clothes are falling apart.
|
|
#
?
Apr 18, 2018 18:12
|
|