- Grimwit
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Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!
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Stephen Write: I got a box of powdered water, but I don't know what to add.
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Apr 20, 2018 16:06
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 11, 2024 07:34
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- funmanguy
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What time is it?
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my best jokes are when i am brushing my teeth, no one can understand me but it sounds funny so people laugh.
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Apr 20, 2018 20:43
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- Grimwit
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Those eyes! That hair! You're like a movie star! I must take your picture!
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My Dad and I would come up with these lines, back when I was but a wee teen. They all started with "You know it's gonna be a strange day when you look in the mirror and..."
"...you have the head of a deer."
"...you don't have eyes."
"...there's nothing on the other side."
He won, finally, with...
"...you can't see the mirror, but you sense it with your feelers."
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Apr 21, 2018 05:13
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- Cubone
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Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
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to keep up with the changing times, Lake Tahoe has been named Lake Begonethot
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Apr 22, 2018 01:45
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- krampster2
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"Oh yeah the sex was great."
"With who?"
"ME AND YOUR MUM HAHA SUCK IT!! ...Nah, sorry man that joke was inappropriate, I shouldn't have said it. I mean to say 'your mum and I.'
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Apr 23, 2018 09:42
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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Other genres of stand up. Stand up romance. Stand up horror, stand up murder mystery
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Apr 23, 2018 14:18
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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Improv drama
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Apr 23, 2018 14:23
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Improve CSI
Yes and enhance.
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Apr 23, 2018 20:45
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- ghost emoji
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oooOooOOOooh
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kanye westworld
could also be a good username
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Apr 24, 2018 21:14
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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What? Who me? If course I've had are. Yeah I've had tons of sex moments. Like the time we got so lubed up and went sliding all around the house naked...cause of the sex...lube...
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Apr 25, 2018 17:01
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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a description of cheese fries so sensual it is banned in 11 states
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Apr 25, 2018 21:21
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- wearing a lampshade
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Whisper-yelling "Witness meeee...." as I easily gain 60 points on the triple word score, ensuring that yet another friend will never again play Words With Friends with me
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Apr 26, 2018 01:05
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- Putty
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HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS
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grof
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Apr 26, 2018 02:04
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- little munchkin
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i can't think of a good way to word it but basically the premise is that sjws think it's "problematic" to make jokes about slipping on a banana peel, and that's upsetting to me, someone who doesn't believe in PC culture
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Apr 27, 2018 21:03
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- little munchkin
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another funny idea would be a rapper who is always bragging about his/her pubes
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Apr 27, 2018 21:07
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- Ride The Gravitron
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by FactsAreUseless
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I like the way you think
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Apr 27, 2018 21:41
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- little munchkin
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thanks
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Apr 27, 2018 22:30
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Lil Pubey
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Apr 27, 2018 22:53
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Pube Daddy
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Apr 27, 2018 22:53
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Working on making my racism more complicated... More layered
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Apr 27, 2018 22:56
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- Cubone
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Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.
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another funny idea would be a rapper who is always bragging about his/her pubes
the scraggliest the rattiest the bushiest around
when it comes to hair down there im foxy like brown
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Apr 28, 2018 00:42
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- Kthulhu5000
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by R. Guyovich
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Your mom calls you up, tells you that she's clearing stuff out of the house and part of that involves digitizing all the old home movies. And she's delegating that to you, because nine months of carrying you and eighteen hours of labor and all that she says, jokingly.
So, you pick up the box of VHS tapes. You also pick up the dusty old TV with built-in VCR that you kept in your room and played games, watched TV, and saw those R-rated movies that your friends and cousins transferred to you on. Memories! With that nostalgic mindset, you decide to grab a random tape and see what's on it. After fast-forwarding through a bunch of empty footage (because someone apparently started recording to the tape right in the middle of it, for some reason), you get an image.
It's footage from a BBQ at some relative's place. You see an uncle (whom you only faintly remember, because he was an in-law that got divorced out of the family) putting some burger patties on the grill. You hear a woman's laugh from off-camera, catch a vague but familiar-seeming glimpse of the laugher, and then the camcorder abruptly rotates. After a bit of refocusing, you make out what's so funny. It's your dad, wearing flip-flops, denim cutoffs, a T-shirt with the logo of some defunct and long-acquired tech company on it, and a green sweatband.
He's doing a weird stomp dance on an open lawn, swaying around and flailing his arms in a seemingly manic, lost frenzy to "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2. He's been brought to the edge by The Edge, but only he knows what it's the edge of. For some reason, you hear "nine months" echo in your mom's voice within your head. Your eyes are drawn to the time and date stamp in the corner of the video, a seemingly ubiquitous artifact present on 99% of amateur video shot during the 1980s and 1990s.
You do some mental time calculations. The video's date, sure enough, is roughly nine months prior to your date of birth.
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Apr 28, 2018 02:31
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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BYOB with Chinese characteristics
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Apr 28, 2018 18:29
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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a robot made for smooches
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Apr 29, 2018 04:03
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- little munchkin
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a robot made for smooches
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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!
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Apr 29, 2018 13:46
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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I $primary_affect you.
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Apr 29, 2018 16:41
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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"LuffBear, I :cough: I want you to know how much you've meant to me :cough: and I don't have much time left..."
"Updates are available! Boop my nose to reboot now!"
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Apr 29, 2018 16:43
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- Farecoal
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There he go
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Beat the Meat Gentlemen’s Water Park
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Apr 29, 2018 19:32
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 11, 2024 07:34
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Down and out in Candy Land
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May 1, 2018 05:14
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Apr 20, 2018 16:06
