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Ein cooler Typ posted:my kid is so smart The parents could have called the tooth fairy on the telephone
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Apr 25, 2018 22:41
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oldpainless posted:My BMI says I’m “really loving fat” and you know what it’s actually correct more like oldpleindepain
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Apr 25, 2018 22:47
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The General posted:I dunno how old I was, but I discovered Santa and Easter bunny were the same person because their handwriting was the same. In this economy can you blame Santa for getting a second job?
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Apr 25, 2018 23:21
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The General posted:I dunno how old I was, but I discovered Santa and Easter bunny were the same person because their handwriting was the same. Same but it was Santa and my mother. That and my parents were atrocious liars about stuff like that, even though they tried 
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Apr 25, 2018 23:57
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Araenna posted:Gendercritical is a subreddit of "feminists" who are actually just right wing transphobes. They like to talk about "peak trans", which is basically like when people talk about when they took the red pill. quote:this “collective they” is going to start considering the potential benefits of physically re-gendering all offenders as “slapped” and “slappedself”. I don't believe a single word that the husky-voiced lady wrote - nobody progressive enough to care about pronouns would be disrespectful enough to argue with someone about theirs, I hope - but I laughed at this line.
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Apr 26, 2018 00:10
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Ein cooler Typ posted:my kid is so smart e: which then caused me to realize the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus were not real.
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Apr 26, 2018 02:31
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I realized the tooth fairy wasn't real long before I let on that I knew, because I liked money.
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Apr 26, 2018 06:26
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Bertrand Hustle posted:I realized the tooth fairy wasn't real long before I let on that I knew, because I liked money. That's how it is for most kids. They know it's bullshit, but a buck is a buck and they don't care if they have to act like fairies are real to get some cash.
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Apr 26, 2018 12:31
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Slime posted:That's how it is for most kids. They know it's bullshit, but a buck is a buck and they don't care if they have to act like fairies are real to get some cash. Plus it's fun to just do kid stuff. When I was 7 I "found out about Santa" and I thought I was so loving smart and so much better than all those other dumb kids who still believed such a ridiculous concept. But then guess who burst into tears when we rehearsed for the Christmas concert and sang about Santa coming and I realized everyone else was still able to have fun and be a kid
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Apr 26, 2018 12:42
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Slime posted:That's how it is for most kids. They know it's bullshit, but a buck is a buck and they don't care if they have to act like fairies are real to get some cash. My parents stopped doing it and told me it was them when i kept whining that the "fairy" only left a dollar and asked them to tell her to leave 10 next time. That got me a long lecture on how i was greedy+ungrateful etc. Should have just asked for 5.
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Apr 26, 2018 13:12
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yeah I eat rear end posted:My parents stopped doing it and told me it was them when i kept whining that the "fairy" only left a dollar and asked them to tell her to leave 10 next time. That got me a long lecture on how i was greedy+ungrateful etc. What you should have done is made a contract to take better care of your teeth, thus ensuring the quality of them when those baby teeth finally did fall out and justifying the increase in price.
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Apr 26, 2018 13:22
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Bertrand Hustle posted:I realized the tooth fairy wasn't real long before I let on that I knew, because I liked money. In my house the policy is "Once you say you don't believe in Santa, he stops bringing you presents" My parents are in their 80's and neither of my siblings nor I have said it out loud. It's just an understood family thing at this point.
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Apr 26, 2018 13:54
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MrUnderbridge posted:In my house the policy is "Once you say you don't believe in Santa, he stops bringing you presents"
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Apr 26, 2018 14:55
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Just this Easter we got our 10yr old to admit she knows EB and Santa don't exist. Says she's thought so for a couple years but didn't want to take her chances and stop the free poo poo. When our other daughter was about 9-10 it was the same thing, except what turned her was the offer to go Black Friday shopping, which you obviously can't do if you believe in Santa Still believe in the Tooth Fairy and Mr Hankey, so we all good
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Apr 26, 2018 15:33
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sweeperbravo posted:Plus it's fun to just do kid stuff. When I was 7 I "found out about Santa" and I thought I was so loving smart and so much better than all those other dumb kids who still believed such a ridiculous concept. But then guess who burst into tears when we rehearsed for the Christmas concert and sang about Santa coming and I realized everyone else was still able to have fun and be a kid Yeah, whenever I realized "Santa" was my parents, I just kept going along with it just because playing make-believe is fun.
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Apr 26, 2018 16:53
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tankadillo posted:Yeah, whenever I realized "Santa" was my parents, I just kept going along with it just because playing make-believe is fun. Same. I'm baffled that this isn't what most people answer. Like, a lot of holiday rituals are weird and irrational, but they're also a good time.
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Apr 26, 2018 22:10
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this gun idiot who faked the letter knows libs arent all christian right?
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Apr 27, 2018 01:26
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 I know incels are like shooting fish in a barrel, but even for them that is some poo poo that certainly didn't happen.
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Apr 27, 2018 22:58
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What the earthshitting christ
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Apr 27, 2018 23:26
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Araenna posted:
Of all the things written one-handed, that is the one-handedest.
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Apr 27, 2018 23:38
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From YouTube:quote:I saw them at the Civic Auditorium in Emporia, KS. in 1971 or 72. The place smelled like a barn fire and right in the same building was the police and fire departments. Anyway, they played 'Meadows' and when they were done, some idiot said "Why don't you play some decent music?" I reached in the pocket of my jacket and threw a rotten orange at him and hit him square in the chest. To this day, I have no idea why that rotten orange was in my jacket. I've still got the mimeographed ticket in a drawer or someplace. $2.25 to get in. Worth it... Just walking around with a rotten orange
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Apr 28, 2018 00:23
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"no idea why i had a rotten fruit less than a foot from my nose for days" says the alien moments before it is torn apart and has its' various sacs ground into powder for aphrodisiac effect
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Apr 28, 2018 00:29
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Ein cooler Typ posted:my kid is so smart I did the exact same thing when I was a kid. It's a pretty simple thing to do as a child to figure out "if I do A, then B happens, what if I don't do A?"
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Apr 28, 2018 01:13
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I realized the Tooth Fairy was fake when I got a dollar for mine but the rich kids got 20 for theirs.
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Apr 28, 2018 01:18
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grittyreboot posted:I realized the Tooth Fairy was fake when I got a dollar for mine but the rich kids got 20 for theirs.
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Apr 28, 2018 01:25
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i circumvented the system and just sold my teeth directly to my grandfather, five bucks a pop. i don't know what he did with them.
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Apr 28, 2018 01:41
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Araenna posted:I know incels are like shooting fish in a barrel, but even for them that is some poo poo that certainly didn't happen. This is the same thing as when people claim there's a worldwide Jewish conspiracy. If it's true, why'd no one ever tell me? I apparently should have been sexually assaulting people since before puberty. Why wasn't this covered in health class?
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Apr 28, 2018 01:53
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grittyreboot posted:I realized the Tooth Fairy was fake when I got a dollar for mine but the rich kids got 20 for theirs. Haha, I think this was it for me too. My dad was like "man, a whole dollar!" I think in his day you got a haypenny.
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Apr 28, 2018 05:02
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Sleepytime posted:From YouTube: This is the kind of story I heard all the time back in highschool, where someone tells a totally random story and people start saying roflcopter etc and making up their own. It's always them having or doing (wacky thing) and having no recollection why, every time.
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Apr 28, 2018 08:00
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Domus posted:This is the same thing as when people claim there's a worldwide Jewish conspiracy. If it's true, why'd no one ever tell me? I apparently should have been sexually assaulting people since before puberty. Why wasn't this covered in health class? Apparently the other jews don't trust you?
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Apr 28, 2018 09:07
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I really want to know where I can sign up to join the Illuminati. They seem badass offer a pretty good deal for their members.
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Apr 28, 2018 12:35
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tankadillo posted:I really want to know where I can sign up to join the Illuminati. They seem badass offer a pretty good deal for their members. https://www.illuminatiofficial.org/join-the-illuminati-members/ So far all they've sent me is links to buy the tacky poo poo from their giftshop but I hold out hope one day I'll get initiated into the cool rituals and powers and stuff.
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Apr 28, 2018 12:37
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Araenna posted:
Uhh what the gently caress is this
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Apr 28, 2018 12:39
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Jay Rust posted:Uhh what the gently caress is this
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Apr 28, 2018 13:00
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 Not actually speaking Mandarin, just English with a Chinese accent.
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May 4, 2018 18:21
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chitoryu12 posted:
While this poo poo didn't happen, I could see responding to someone saying something racist about you in another language by responding in a mocking accent. Like, lovely thing to do but I could see someone doing it. I mean, if poo poo like this ever happened. Which it doesn't.
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May 4, 2018 20:27
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There's no difference in Mandarin pronunciation for the various pronoun genders, so going with "it" was just extra salt. E: also, monkey is a far more common word than ape. I don't see anyone using ape over it in some casual racist remark.
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May 4, 2018 23:22
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Why is it a sponsored post, is this paid-for stdh?
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May 5, 2018 09:51
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tankadillo posted:I really want to know where I can sign up to join the Illuminati. They seem badass offer a pretty good deal for their members. “You should see the dental plan.” https://youtu.be/hTbkG3csHDQ
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May 5, 2018 17:15
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Video Above posted:Such cloth is made to be had for academic purposes, to advance know-how of human rights, democracy, clinical, moral, moral, and social justice problems, and many others. This constitutes a 'fair use' of one of these copyrighted fabric as furnished for in Title 17 U.S.C. segment 107 of the US Copyright Law. This fabric is sent without income What?
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May 5, 2018 18:06
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