Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

yeah I eat rear end posted:

What do you think air is? We're breathing in dead ghosts all the time.

Ghosts are just shape-shifting land-jellyfish. They were hunted to extinction by the Illuminati to make their stealth suits.

# ? May 1, 2018 14:15

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# ? May 26, 2024 18:28

number one pta fan: Sep 6, 2011; my work is my play play
every day pay day

# ? May 1, 2018 14:29

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Splicer posted:

Ghosts are just shape-shifting land-jellyfish. They were hunted to extinction by the Illuminati to make their stealth suits.

Checks out.

# ? May 1, 2018 15:01

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

yeah I eat rear end posted:

What do you think air is? We're breathing in dead ghosts all the time.

I read this post an hour ago and i got up and went outside and now i can't stop thinking about it and it is extremely freaking me out so, uh, thanks for the weird birthday thoughts

# ? May 1, 2018 15:24

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Unicorns are actually called rhinos.

Rhinos have more than one horn, checkmate :smugbert:

Unicorns are real, but rather than horses they're aquatic mammals native to the northern Atlantic and Arctic oceans

quote:

Hello,

This is more of an advice request than a confession but oh well. My girlfriend has a marble sized (think a quarter, but sphered) blackhead on her rear end by her o ring. I desperately want to pop it but I know she is super sensitive about having body acne in her bathing suit area and would get upset if I out right asked.

Should I just bite on it next time I'm rimming her? It's really bothering me and I'm not sure how to broach the subject.

Thanks goons

Thanks for

holy poo poo that is a loving gigantic zit if it's a zit :stare:

It's gotta be painful. Don't phrase it as a fetish thing, phrase it as concern for her comfort because you should be extremely concerned and holy poo poo please don't bite it gross

quote:

I want to get this off my chest and I don't really want to bring it up with my friends for a bunch of reasons, so I guess you guys are getting it instead. This is kind of a confession via proxy, so bare with me.

My girlfriend of two years dumped me six months ago. She was/is studying aboard for the year. Before she went she was really on the fence about it but I pushed her to go because I wish I'd done it myself. I knew the break up was coming, all the signs were there, but it still hit me like a freight train and it still hurts even now. The crappy thing is, I don't regret anything. I know there's nothing I could do (or would do) differently to change things, but it still really sucks without her.

Now there's the thing I didn't expect. Right before she dumped me (at this point I thought it was coming, so the relationship wasn't exactly rock steady) she starts telling me about how she felt back when we started dating. She told me how she was actually in a really bad place and she was trying really hard to put a brave face on, but she was really screwed up inside. Then tells me that she tried to kill herself one night when we were still dating.

She apparently took a ridiculous amount of painkillers and basically sat on the toilet waiting to die.

Then she told me that I called her, asking her to come over and spend the night watching some movies (which I remember, it was a good night). She accepted, made herself throw up and came over to my place.

Now I know that I wasn't her savior, I'm no god drat guardian angel, and really I was probably just the excuse she needed to wimp out. But Jesus Christ, that's an information overload. Especially when the relationship is on the rocks. Now I'm still thinking about it and it just makes me feel bad.

I guess she was trying to do it to get it off her chest before we broke up. But holy crap, I kinda didn't need to know. I still really miss her and when that comes into my head at 2am it's really not helping.

I suppose I just need to get on with my life and put it behind me. But it's really, really tough. But I'm feeling a bit better now I wrote this out.

I don't really have a lot on this one. It's good that you dated her (this story is further evidence of that), and from what you've been saying it's also good that you broke up. I know it's rough, but this poo poo happens. Go have some drinks with some buds and try to focus on the future.

# ? May 1, 2018 15:27

soy: Jul 7, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

number one pta fan posted:

# ? May 1, 2018 15:28

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Bust Rodd posted:

I read this post an hour ago and i got up and went outside and now i can't stop thinking about it and it is extremely freaking me out so, uh, thanks for the weird birthday thoughts

Happy birthday, maybe ease up on the weed for a few hours tho

page 420 or no

# ? May 1, 2018 15:28

Audax: Dec 1, 2005; "LOL U GOT OWNED"

Time heals all wounds buddy. No matter how messed up the relationship was, you'll get over her. Be glad that your presence saved someones life.

# ? May 1, 2018 15:40

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

quote:

quote:
I want to get this off my chest and I don't really want to bring it up with my friends for a bunch of reasons, so I guess you guys are getting it instead. This is kind of a confession via proxy, so bare with me.

My girlfriend of two years dumped me six months ago. She was/is studying aboard for the year. Before she went she was really on the fence about it but I pushed her to go because I wish I'd done it myself. I knew the break up was coming, all the signs were there, but it still hit me like a freight train and it still hurts even now. The crappy thing is, I don't regret anything. I know there's nothing I could do (or would do) differently to change things, but it still really sucks without her.

Now there's the thing I didn't expect. Right before she dumped me (at this point I thought it was coming, so the relationship wasn't exactly rock steady) she starts telling me about how she felt back when we started dating. She told me how she was actually in a really bad place and she was trying really hard to put a brave face on, but she was really screwed up inside. Then tells me that she tried to kill herself one night when we were still dating.

She apparently took a ridiculous amount of painkillers and basically sat on the toilet waiting to die.

Then she told me that I called her, asking her to come over and spend the night watching some movies (which I remember, it was a good night). She accepted, made herself throw up and came over to my place.

Now I know that I wasn't her savior, I'm no god drat guardian angel, and really I was probably just the excuse she needed to wimp out. But Jesus Christ, that's an information overload. Especially when the relationship is on the rocks. Now I'm still thinking about it and it just makes me feel bad.

I guess she was trying to do it to get it off her chest before we broke up. But holy crap, I kinda didn't need to know. I still really miss her and when that comes into my head at 2am it's really not helping.

I suppose I just need to get on with my life and put it behind me. But it's really, really tough. But I'm feeling a bit better now I wrote this out.

God these fake feshes are getting bizarrely outlandish recently...

# ? May 1, 2018 15:44

Elentor: Dec 14, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

HerStuddMuffin posted:

You�re thinking of slenderman aren�t you?

I wasn't thinking of anything in particular but given the horrible irl events that occurred from slenderman I think that's a pretty good example, thanks.

# ? May 1, 2018 16:58

a starchy tuber: Sep 9, 2002; hi yes I'm very normal

quote:

Hello,

This is more of an advice request than a confession but oh well. My girlfriend has a marble sized (think a quarter, but sphered) blackhead on her rear end by her o ring. I desperately want to pop it but I know she is super sensitive about having body acne in her bathing suit area and would get upset if I out right asked.

Should I just bite on it next time I'm rimming her? It's really bothering me and I'm not sure how to broach the subject.

Thanks goons

Thanks for

Get her to a doctor. Don't try to pop/lance/bite it yourself.

# ? May 1, 2018 17:30

yeah I eat ass: Mar 14, 2005; only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar

If your first thought is "maybe I should bite it" when you see some rear end tumor, I think you might need help just as badly as she does.

# ? May 1, 2018 17:49

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

yeah I eat rear end posted:

If your first thought is "maybe I should bite it" when you see some rear end tumor, I think you might need help just as badly as she does.

If forum's poster "yeah I eat rear end" says not to bite something on an rear end, then you'd best listen.

# ? May 1, 2018 17:55

Return Of JimmyJars: Jun 24, 2006; by FactsAreUseless

fish school dropout posted:

Get her to a doctor. Don't try to pop/lance/bite it yourself.

Does MILF extraordinare Dr. pimple popper handle grundle boils on an x-rated tube site?

# ? May 1, 2018 18:06

Elentor: Dec 14, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

yeah I eat rear end posted:

If your first thought is "maybe I should bite it" when you see some rear end tumor, I think you might need help just as badly as she does.

I'll second Solice Kirsk's remark that yeah going by your username one would be a fool not to heed your warning.

# ? May 1, 2018 18:08

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

My confession is that I don't smoke weed so unfortunately I can't celebrate this thread getting it's 420th page, oh well

# ? May 1, 2018 18:43

Sleepytime: Dec 21, 2004; two shots of happy, one shot of sad; Soiled Meat

Ghosts would probably have better things to do than waste their time on us, but what do I know ? I guess there's the whole part of most ghost stories where they're trying to accomplish something in death that they couldn't do in life (waiting for a lost lover, pushing cars off train tracks etc).

Also anon's gf needs medical attention if it's truly the size of a marble.

# ? May 1, 2018 18:58

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

bite it

# ? May 1, 2018 19:03

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

auuuughhghghg i just poo poo in my pants i poo poo my paaaants

# ? May 1, 2018 19:11

Tiberius Thyben: Feb 7, 2013; Gone Phishing

Nooner posted:

auuuughhghghg i just poo poo in my pants i poo poo my paaaants

That�s our nooner!

# ? May 1, 2018 19:38

Stealthgerbil: Dec 16, 2004

Yea thats probably a cyst or it could potentially be cancer. Go the dermatologist please!!!!

# ? May 1, 2018 19:44

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

actually just bite it

# ? May 1, 2018 19:44

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

If its a pilonidal cyst I have heard what is inside it is the stinkiest thing a human body can produce

Edit: bite it

# ? May 1, 2018 19:46

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Even if it's the thing he apparently thinks it is, biting it would get him a face and mouth full of pus

I can think of no scenario where biting it is a good idea for anyone involved

so in closing chomp chomp motherfucker

# ? May 1, 2018 19:47

Fintilgin: Sep 29, 2004; Fintilgin sweeps!

number one pta fan posted:

come to europe for we are haunted by the spectre of communism and have much more atmospheric buildings that more people have died in

i had a brief period where i solidly believed in ghosts and thought it was obvious that if a ghost could haunt a place then surely it could haunt a computer and what if my computer is full of dead people making adobe flash player run like poo poo

I TOLD you, mom, it wasn't me, my browser is haunted by a gay ghost!

Fintilgin fucked around with this message at 20:03 on May 1, 2018

# ? May 1, 2018 19:59

womb with a view: Sep 8, 2007

Proof of the supernatural seems like an impossible ask, but not just because OP is looking for bullshit that isn't real. Once we discover something, we figure out how it works, and then it's no longer a spooky mystery. So if we found a unicorn, we'd go "oh cool, a new species of horse has been discovered." If you mean something that we can't explain yet, you could always try to research poo poo we know little about like specific DNA functions and how the brain works.

# ? May 1, 2018 20:32

ALFbrot: Apr 17, 2002

don't light it

it's for the look
just bite it

# ? May 1, 2018 20:35

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

fuckin gross

# ? May 1, 2018 22:24

Son of Man: Jan 29, 2003; by Azathoth

Return Of JimmyJars posted:

Does MILF extraordinare Dr. pimple popper handle grundle boils on an x-rated tube site?

this sentence reminds me that one of the greatest things about language is the infinite number of unique phrases that can be formed. never imagined I'd read this combo of words

# ? May 1, 2018 22:42

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

ALFbrot posted:

don't light it

it's for the look
just bite it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GTDorxftys :nws:

MODNOTE: don't watch this

Somebody fucked around with this message at 18:35 on May 2, 2018

# ? May 1, 2018 23:12

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Solice Kirsk posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GTDorxftys

thanks I hate it

# ? May 2, 2018 03:32

Bust Rodd: Oct 21, 2008; by VideoGames

PULL UP THREAD DEAR GOD THE CAT BLOOD BUCKET WAS BETTER THAN THIS

# ? May 2, 2018 03:39

SniperWoreConverse: Mar 20, 2010; Gun Saliva

I will not click play

# ? May 2, 2018 03:48

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Oh the butt cleavage zit isn�t that bad you bunch of drat babies

# ? May 2, 2018 04:13

Theophany: Jul 22, 2014; SUCCHIAMI IL MIO CAZZO DA DIETRO, RANA RAGAZZO

2022 FIA Formula 1 WDC

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Oh the butt cleavage zit isn�t that bad you bunch of drat babies

Pilonidal cysts aren't that bad. A week on antibiotics and keeping it clean and dressed and it's gone. Definitely do not break the skin on anything like that round your rear end though, jfc that's just asking for it to get infected.

# ? May 2, 2018 08:43

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Anonymous confession: I love cyst draining, ear-cleaning, blackhead popping etc clips. More please!

# ? May 2, 2018 10:01

DRINK ME: Jul 31, 2006; i cant fix avs like this because idk the bbcode - HTML IS BS MAN

Pilonidal cyst: Pain, fever and antibiotics for a week and then it broke in my sleep which required a late night emergency room visit, surgery and four days in hospital. Followed up with daily washing and wound dressing by a nurse for four weeks (two weeks at my house and then the rest at a local GP). To redress the wound they stuff gauze inside the raw wound to ensure it doesn�t seal the edges and create a new pocket to get infected and puss filled again. This hurts like someone shoving gauze into a raw wound should.

On the plus side they give out a ripper lot of endone which didn�t help one bit with the wound dressing pain but did make me super happy for hours at a time. Being an Australian this whole thing cost me two taxi rides to travel to and from the hospital.

Do not bite it!

# ? May 2, 2018 10:08