Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

«‹›310 »

Harold Fjord

Kickstart subforums.

# ? May 10, 2018 01:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 11:44

Kthulhu5000: by R. Guyovich

an intense network of rivalries and photographic competition springs up among Florida retirement communities over who is the sexiest senior at the state's various theme parks.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 10, 2018 06:46

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

Yelp but for business to review customers

# ? May 11, 2018 06:12

sebmojo: Legit Cyberpunk

Yelp but for poison

# ? May 11, 2018 08:06

Papa Was A Video Toaster

Uber for cats.
A bigwheel for your budgie.
Rats on razor scooters.

# ? May 11, 2018 08:08

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

sebmojo posted:

Yelp but for poison

Killed me immediately, would not buy again.

# ? May 11, 2018 15:02

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

The first post on every tech-help forum: "I have an extremely specific question, I do not know the basics, and I refuse to learn."
Followed by one million years of rude, useless trash.

# ? May 11, 2018 15:38

Twenty Four

ShinyBirdTeeth posted:

Killed me immediately, would not buy again.

Did not kill my enemy, unsatisfied!

(For the record ShinyBirdTeeth was not my enemy and I do not wish ill upon them!)

# ? May 11, 2018 17:07

HotSoapyBeard: I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN

Shall I apply? I would be disappointed if I was ever stressed at work.

# ? May 11, 2018 22:34

wearing a lampshade

Twenty Four posted:

Did not kill my enemy, unsatisfied!

(For the record ShinyBirdTeeth was not my enemy and I do not wish ill upon them!)

Wanted poison! Got fish! Wtf!

# ? May 12, 2018 00:36

Koishi Komeiji

*Standing in empty frame of house that was made out of glass, surrounded in stones*

Buying this strange house and then throwing stones at anyone who walked past really was a bad idea after all! I should have listened to that proverb! :argh:

# ? May 12, 2018 18:53

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

I used to think I was smart then I realized I just hang out with stupid people

# ? May 13, 2018 10:27

take the moon: by sebmojo

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I used to think I was smart then I realized I just hang out with stupid people

i have a lot of friends

they all think they're smart and i don't know why

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 13, 2018 20:25

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

albany academy posted:

Wanted poison! Got fish! Wtf!

fugu if true

# ? May 13, 2018 20:42

redm

you can't spell check these nips without cheese nips

_{sig by Manifisto}

# ? May 13, 2018 21:03

Manifisto

redm posted:

you can't spell check these nips without cheese nips

# ? May 13, 2018 21:38

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

exploring the music of Linkedin Park

# ? May 14, 2018 06:26

Amateur Saboteur: by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

get this its the "has anyone cried at a movie" thread but actually an entiteley new different thread called wait for it "has anyone cried ay a sex"?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 14, 2018 07:20

ghost emoji: oooOooOOOooh

Jedrick posted:

exploring the music of Linkedin Park

i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
they decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely match the position

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The contents of this post and any attachments are intended solely for the addressee(s) and may contain confidential and/or privileged information and may be legally protected from disclosure. The information is intended to be for the use of the individual or entity designated above. If you are not the intended recipient of this post, please notify the sender immediately, and delete the post and any attachments. Any disclosure, reproduction, distribution or other use of this post or any attachments by an individual or entity other than the intended recipient is prohibited.

# ? May 15, 2018 05:46

Papa Was A Video Toaster

ghost emoji posted:

i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
they decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely match the position

# ? May 15, 2018 06:21

wearing a lampshade

ghost emoji posted:

i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
they decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely match the position

# ? May 15, 2018 13:55

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

ghost emoji posted:

i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
they decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely match the position

# ? May 15, 2018 15:03

vanisher

ghost emoji posted:

i tried so hard
and got so far
but in the end
they decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications more closely match the position

# ? May 15, 2018 15:42

Olive!: It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

bad constellations:

the big diaper

I know it's an asterism alright

# ? May 16, 2018 16:39

rump buttman: I just wish I had time for one more bowl of chili

Slavic consumer complaint department where all disputes are settled with cartons of counterfeit marb lights changing hands

# ? May 16, 2018 17:47

krampster2

Depiction of me, the city slickin' English major code switching when I went out of town today to get my whipper snipper (Australian for line trimmer) fixed at the tool store:

Me: Alrighty mate, reckon you can fix this one up for me?

Rep: Sure, these tools often fault after a few years.

Me: Yeah the bloody tools eh? Always playing up aren't they. Just when I'm trying to get the job done after a hard day she starts leaking fuel on me. Is that a thing you can fix, the uh, fuel thingo?

Rep: Yep, the fuel line.

Me: Ahh yep, 'course it's just a fuel line, no problems fixing one of those up hey? That's what my old man used to say anyway, he'd put me on his knee and say "son, fuel lines, they 'aint no problem."

Rep: Okay. Next please!

Me: But uhh, anyway, hopefully you can get the old girl up and running for me, knock on wood haha! Would've fixed it myself of course but uhh, just very busy working my bloody rear end off and all that. Righto, thanks for that! Love you! ...Nah I mean thanks mate haha, I'm not into that kinda stuff I'm just pulling your leg.

Rep: Security to the registers please.

krampster2 fucked around with this message at 07:19 on May 17, 2018

# ? May 17, 2018 07:17

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

(To a Very Funky sound track)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3ckIovZRwk

In this thread, we're in the business of being bad. And business is boomin'.

Changing May 17th to May 19th on this coupon.
Brush my teeth only once a day.
Selling condiments not labeled for individual sale.
Eating all the Now and Later now.
Posting Nirvana CDs to Youtube and commenting "Copyright infringement intended"
Wearing my pants so a quarter inch of buttcrack is always showing. Extra hairy, oh baby. Baby, cause I'm bad.

In the business of being bad.

# ? May 17, 2018 23:57

ShinyBirdTeeth: sparkle sparkle sparkle

Misrememberd quotes
While you smooched boys, I studied the blade.
Ask and ye shall say please.
A penny saved is pretty lovely.

# ? May 18, 2018 02:18

wearing a lampshade

An apple a day (or any reasonable serving of fruits and vegetables) is good for your health, and if you're healthy you will likely see the doctor less.

# ? May 18, 2018 13:29

HotSoapyBeard: I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN

Shipping/haulage/ logistics company name ideas:

Haul or Nothin�
Better Freight than Never
Haul You Can Eat (refrigerated trucks)
Ship til you Drop
Sieg Haul!
Great Haul of China (Chinese goods)

# ? May 19, 2018 21:59

cda: by Hand Knit

Please. Nobody calls me Dora the Explorer anymore. Call me Isadora.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 19, 2018 23:36

alnilam

HotSoapyBeard posted:

Shipping/haulage/ logistics company name ideas:

Haul or Nothin’
Better Freight than Never
Haul You Can Eat (refrigerated trucks)
Ship til you Drop
Sieg Haul!
Great Haul of China (Chinese goods)

You Can't Have It Hauled (anti shipping advocacy group)

# ? May 19, 2018 23:51

alnilam

Haulin Oats

# ? May 19, 2018 23:51

cda: by Hand Knit

Haul Monitor

HotSoapyBeard posted:

Sieg Haul!

Company Motto: Haul, Low Cost.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 20, 2018 00:00

Ride The Gravitron: by FactsAreUseless

cda posted:

Haul Monitor

Company Motto: Haul, Low Cost.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? May 20, 2018 00:03

alnilam

cda posted:

Company Motto: Haul, Low Cost.

lol and also lol @ hot soapy beardds orig posyt

# ? May 20, 2018 00:25

HotSoapyBeard: I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN

alnilam posted:

Haulin Oats

cda posted:

Haul Monitor

Company Motto: Haul, Low Cost.

lol

# ? May 21, 2018 21:39

joke_explainer

Superman, but black.

Superman: "It was tough, but I saved everyone from the crashing plane, the children from the burning bus, and foiled Lex Luthor's plans at the same time, citizens."

Onlooker: *suspiciously* "Where's your kryptonian birth certificate!!"

# ? May 22, 2018 03:32

Pot Smoke Phoenix: Smoke 'em if you gottem!

One word: Vampirates

https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4
_{_{Sig elements by Manifisto and Heather Papps}}
Sig File protected by SigLock. do NOT steal this sig!

# ? May 22, 2018 12:21

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 11, 2024 11:44

cda: by Hand Knit

joke_explainer posted:

Superman, but black.

Superman: "It was tough, but I saved everyone from the crashing plane, the children from the burning bus, and foiled Lex Luthor's plans at the same time, citizens."

Onlooker: *suspiciously* "Where's your kryptonian birth certificate!!"

Lol

# ? May 22, 2018 12:57

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

«‹›310 »