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Whelp, looks like I've become the official tour guide of my local area, so I may be busy these next few weeks. Again, trying to avoid another short break, but I don't want to rule it out. We'll still have the next Orc update coming out later today! (Or... more likely, tomorrow for some of you? MY today.)
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Jun 2, 2018 01:21
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 Act 4: Prelude to New Worlds  Episode 12: Alterac or Betrayal at Castle on the Hill Mission Briefing  : What are we supposed to be getting here again?  : ...the Book of Medivh, Nigel.: For the love of... I didn't even keep you on the boat for that long! The troll and those other three idiots needed it! Why are you being so pissy still?: Oh, no, not me. I'm just thrilled to be alone with you on this incredibly dangerous mission that requires careful thought and planning.: Good. I was starting to think that you were still upset for some reason. By the way... : ...what are these humans doing with us?: Y'know, maybe I am glad that I came along for this because you clearly can't be trusted with simple orders.: Haha, yeah. Playin' by the rules is for squares.: Ugh. : If you recall from our conversation with Lord Gorefiend-: Nope. Already drawing a blank.: He has managed to secure a treaty with the human king. We destroy the occupying forces in this land and provide safe passage for their mage- : -who is carrying the Book of Medivh.: Everyone keeps talking about this book, but I still have no idea what it is.: It's a book! A very powerful book!: Filled with...?: Incredibly powerful magi- No, no, no... I'm not walking into that trap.: drat, so close, too. Alright, well let's take a look at these "occupying forces." : Huh, so the traitor humans have some decent defenses. They should be fine for awhile. : ...And the jailers keeping our prize secure is just seven dudes with swords. Are... are the humans really dumb or are they super dumb?: Well you have outfoxed them at every turn, so I tend towards the latter.: Hey, it was a group effort. I mean, I did the heavy lifting, but Vilefeast did stuff, too. : Alright, easy job. Use the humans to kill some humans and then rescue some other humans. Is this what it's like to be a human king?: I'm thinking that it's more akin with being a low ranking bureaucrat.: Sounds like some sort of sinister warlock. Have we got any more reports coming in, Bloodgut? : Well... this land has a gold mine, at least. Something that we're currently lacking.: What happened to all that gold from Kul Tiras?!: Do you remember "Castle Necksmasher 2: Revenge of Nigel"? Or "Castle Necksmasher 3: Furious 2"?: I do remember drinking and naming things, yes. What about "Necksmasher Castle: This Time I'm Serious"?: That's about the time that Lord Gorefiend cut you off.: That lousy-! Just because he doesn't have a tongue doesn't mean he can control mine.  : We've also got Lordaeron structures along with some stragglers from Kul Tiras.: And another gold mine! This one is closer, too.: What is this obsession with gold?: Hey, through troubled times, gold has never lost it's value. Not like those super volatile "Nigel Bux" I came up with.: You made twenty of them and they could only be spent on rations in the mess hall.: Yeah, but the whole thing went crazy with counterfeiting.: They were literally leaves that you drew an "N" on.: The market truly is a mystery. : There's a awful lot more of these Kul Tirans than I would have expected. Perhaps they followed us?: On what boats?! Whatever, get the humans to sort this out. What would drive a human to turn against their own kind like this? : By the way, Nigel, doesn't something about these humans seem... off? : Just a bunch of normal beard-y humans to me. : Imagine that. Turning against your own kind.: Mhmm... : Having to turn a blade on someone you trusted.: Nigel... : Whew, it must really suck to be a traitor, huh, Bloodgut?: Chieftain, it's obvious what you're getting at-  : I mean, looking into the eyes of someone who you spent good years with- YEARS!- and throwing it all away for greed.: I... wait, greed? : All because you thought that they wouldn't find out.: Are we... still talking about the same thing? This mission is just filled with Kul Tiras troops to tear through. These foothills are stained with the blood of stupid Kul Tirans who didn't realize that the double-crossing Alterac knights they let through were actually double-crossing them.    : That was my wine you drank and you knew it!: THAT'S what you're going on about?: I had that specifically sent ahead to the Baradin Bay camp! You know that I like to have a nice half o' keg after "work." : Nigel. I have found another gold mine for us.: You can't distract me with gold! ...but mine it out anyway.  This is an... interesting place to start a base. It's in a small corner with no room to expand, but...  There's this nice little choke point that makes life substantially easier. My first run of this map had me chasing threats all through the woods here. Starting out in this little area makes everything much more manageable. : You sure there's nothing more that you want to discuss, Nigel?: Well, there's the point that you stopped calling me "Chieftain." Kinda pissed about that.: What have you done to earn that title?: DID EVERYONE FORGET THAT I WON THE FREAKIN' FIRST WAR?! : And yeah! I know all about you and troll-face being all mad at me! Boo hoo! Some people died in a WAR. Cry me a river.: When will the war stop? When will we stop being little more than your slaves? When will you treat us like fellow orcs?: The war stops when we are free.: I... what?: Now give me the drat scouting report and get the hell out of my sight, peon.  : There is a contingent of Stromgarde forces to the east... Nigel.: Little less attitude with that report. : And it looks like they've fully stocked the walls with siege weaponry. Again.: Back that up. I know you're being an angry little stripling right now, but we can both agree that's pretty stupid, right?: I'm not even certain how that it makes sense from any point of view. Do they think that they work like murderholes or something?: Ah... murderholes. Hey, when do we get to have a nice defensive battle? : Nigel, do I have to remind you that we're on a covert mission?: Are we really, though? Because I'm pretty sure we've fielded several armies at this point and sort of... smashed our way through the human lands leaving a crimson trail behind us.: It was supposed to be covert!: And that's boring! Hey, looks like the humans have some destroyers in the thin little river. Haha, they're dumb. : Well, that's the last of the report.: Why? We have so much that we don't know about yet! : The humans like to aim their cannon fire up.: That doesn't make any sense!: Why did it make sense when you did it?!: I am above criticism, Bloodgut! : I'm handling the main forces. You have one job: take care of the gold up here.: Main forces? Nigel, we're just breaking out the Alteraci wizard.: Right. Aaaaaaand killing all of the humans.: Covert. Mission.: No one will know we were here if we kill everyone. : Now then... "Beard humans! Go find other humans and make them dead!" drat... these Common lessons aren't giving my orders the right oomph. : Ugh, men are rebelling. That drat captain hasn't shown his face. And we're going back to Draenor soon? This couldn't get any worse.  : Why?! Why do I even speak? "Beard humans! Chop choppy huge bow now!" : Ah, well. Once less human to kill later.  : Now these are... Lordaeron? Dammit, not him. : Let's get an outpost set up here! We've got humans! "Not you, beard humans." : What am I doing? It's not like they can understand me.Meanwhile, in Bloodgut's strip mine... : That's it, men. Leave no flake left in there. Now just- : Oh, hell. Stromgarde? : ...Did Nigel leave me here because of the proximity to these psychopaths? : Wait, wait, dragons, no! My men can handle this! : See? It's fine. I know you're a part of the Black Dragonflight and everything, but you don't have to incinerate-  : -everything. Well. I must say how happy I am that we're working with these dragons. : If we're going to be stationed so close to Stromgarde forces... : That's right, men! Hoist the cannons into the towers. You can't cleave skulls with your chest caved in!Meanwhile, back at Casa de Necksmasher...   : Two more gold mines secured and barely a peep from the humans. Man, could this job get any easier?Back north...  : AHHHHHHHHHHH! Stromgarde is an interesting problem on this map. They beeline from their base in the east towards the circle of power up in the western corner. You could, in essence, ignore them and favor of building up your forces to the south (something that I unwittingly did on my first run at this). This, however, leaves you with your "tech buildings" getting attacked constantly and you'll be pulling troops away from the front to deal with them. Instead, if you cut off their advance, you just have to deal with fighting them constantly. So... pick your poison.  : I'm thinking that I might have been a little hasty in writing you Black Dragonflight guys off, y'know? If we could stop aiming for the orcs, that'd be great. : Oh, come on! Humans! Dragons! Why do you keep doing this? Why do all generals or warchiefs just send their men to die pointlessly?  : And apparently there is no word for "collateral damage" in the draconic tongue! : Alright. We'll just cut down these trees and- No, wait, that's giving us cover from the humans. Then we'll... no, can't build or the humans will get us. But... but... then... FFFFFFFFFFFFF-Down south...  : UUUUCCCCKKKKKK!: Whelp, sounds like he figured out why that base sucked. Now, let's get to reinforcing the good base. My base. : Except some people keep throwing off the feng shui! Boy, these knights are not looking good. Shame we can't bump them up to paladins to keep them going.  : Great job, humans. "Beard men. And woman. I gift you now pinecone for good work." Yeah, they're eating that up. I'll just keep acting like the ignorant savage... : And we'll start getting my real forces armed and ready. We'll get this book situation solved and then we'll tackle the whole "Draenor" thing. : And we'll hem in some of these humans across the river. : And we'll set up some guards with bows. What kind of idiot would use cannons so close to all the action? : gently caress. gently caress. gently caress. gently caress!  : Ooof, looks like the humans are just a liiiittle too early. : That's fine, though. My men are always ready at a moment's notice. : Y'know, I actually expected Bloodgut to pop in to undercut me again. Or Vilefeast. Hell, even Maggy. drat, I have a lot of insubordinate officers. : And a lot of troops. Hot drat, I might have gone overboard here. : Well if there's anything worth doing, it's worth overdoing. More troops! So while you''re getting attacked from the north, Lordaeron from the south sends in a massive number of troops at a near constant rate. I've complained about the AI being a little passive at times, but that was mostly due to me striking fast. This time around, I'm forced to go a little slow with setting up a base, so the AI can quickly mount an offense worthy of Beyond the Dark Portal.  : Hahaha! I don't need Vilefeast for this. Or whoever he is now. poo poo, add that to the pile of problems. No one has it harder than ol' Chieftain Necksmasher. : Dragons, aim your fire at the drat siege weaponry! : Dammit, those towers cost us dearly! These Stromgarde forces never stop! : ...I'm going to die here. : Yeah, no one has it harder. : Let's get down to business, First War style. Death wagons! : Castle Necksmasher! : And... uh... What the Nether?! : Oh, I didn't see you there, Nigel.: What are you doing down here, runt?!: Remember that one job you gave me, Nigel? The one thing I was left to do?: Get the book thing, rescue the traitor human, and kill all the humans? : We've gathered all of the gold from the northern reaches.: Oh, THAT job. That still doesn't explain the... y'know, ghoul-men. : Lord Gorefiend gave us his men to see this acquisitions project through to the end. I intend to use them.: Ooh, he's busting out the big words. That's your way of giving me the cold shoulder, isn't it?: I would hold no illusions to that delusion.: That one didn't even make sense and you know it. : Well if we are to be endeavoring to make martial intervention into human lands, might I draw your gaze to the badass death wagon brigade that I had manufactured for this sole purpose.: Now you're being facetious. : I'm going to assume that means "filled with face-melting awesome."  : Boom! Direct hit! Heh heh.: You truly don't get tired of that, do you?: Whether I see the birth of a universe or the death of one, I'm just happy to say that I saw it.: Huh?: You wouldn't get it. Chieftain stuff.  : That's... that's a lot of humans.: I know they all look the same to you, but those are definitely elves. You can tell because they don't have beards. : Also when they explode, they pop like casks of wine.: Oddly specific.: Yeah. Weird that wasted wine comes to mind when you're around! : Onto the next bridge. Come along, wine thief!: Your name wasn't on it! : By virtue of being the chieftain, my name is technically on everything. : Anything you think belongs to you or someone else is merely just in transit to me. Something these humans are learning the hard way.  : Speaking of which, Chie- Nigel. Speaking of which, I thought it would be good to get some eyes on the Lordaeron base before we began the assault.: I'm torn between that being a good idea and you taking all the fun out of this for me. : One last tower is all that stands between us and the exposed human flank.: How did you make military maneuvers sound so dirty? Alright, get the death- : -knights. Of course, Chieftain.: Now who's being facetious?!  : Looks like you learned the meaning of a word pretty quickly.: Chalk it up to a temporary lapse of insanity. : All these years that I've known you and I still don't know what goes on in that head of yours, Nigel.: At least I'm more complicated than you lemmings. : What's that supposed to mean?: Shut up. I've got scouting reports to go over. : Oh, ho, ho... that's a lot of unarmed civilians. And a juicy gold mine.: Of which we have three of already.: Two. Remember, that one you took care of sort of exploded?: Oh, yeah. : Send in the boys! Woo! : This is so unbelievably cathartic. This war has been hell on me.: Covert mission. And I think we should be making a more substantial assault on these humans.: I've orphaned at least ten kids in the past three minutes. I call that progress.: What's with you and orphans lately? Besides, I mean we should strike at the base itself. : Like so.: Come on! More death knights and their crappy skeleton magic? That's so... so... unorc-like! : Do you have a better suggestion? : CHARGE! MURDER! KILL!: Nigel! We didn't discuss this!: I'm the chieftain here! Death wagons! : Go! : A two pronged assault?: No, it's a raid. A regular, "kick the door in and kill everyone inside" raid. : And we just so happen to be attacking from the rear.: Right. Two prongs.: When you make everything so technical, it really violates the spirit of indiscriminate murder. : Hey! Watch it with the horrible life stealing miasma!: You think I can control the death knights?: This is exactly why I told you not to bring them!  : But by the nose hairs of a clefthoof, this is damned effective.  : Sounds like you're starting to embrace the new Horde that Ner'zhul has promised us.: ...yeah, sure. The new Horde.  : I mean, in the old days we were just as good as this.: Times have changed, Nigel. Once we get these artifacts, we can be free from all of this. Azeroth holds no place for us. The humans only want to kill us. : That doesn't mean this land has nothing for us.: What are you saying?: Nothing. Get back to work.  : I've prepared the altars for the ogre-magi rituals, Chieftain.: Oop! You said it!: Chieftain, you have to be coming around to this. You've been acting irrational lately. And drinking a hell of a lot more. Of course we're going to be pissed at you.: Yeah. I'm the one being irrational. : Look, we have more humans trying to get away from us. : They haven't really figured out how we do things, do they? : Speaking of which. We still have the Stromgarde forces to deal with.: You didn't take care of those guys?: I had ONE JOB!  It's been criminal that I've neglected you this long. : Well, if we're going up against the crazed murder-zealots of the human alliance, we may as well give 'em our own murder-zealots. : ...I don't recall calling the death knights to the front lines.: They don't take orders from us. We're beneath them. : What do we do?: What can we do? Without Vilefeast, we don't represent any authority to them.: Weird to think of him as the authority.: A topsy turvy world.   : At least they're on our side.: For now. : Chieftain, do you want to tell me what's going on? : Fine. You want to know? You really need to know?: Nigel, Mag'fon and I were planning to overthrow you.: Pretty understandable. I'd just get Vilefeast to... ah, poo poo.: Right. He's turned against you, too. Or whoever is inside of him is.: That's exactly it. I don't like this. I don't like being a part of Gorefiend's plans. : His plans to get us out of Draenor?: Look around you, stupid! We are out of Draenor. : We keep going down this path and we end up as pawns for that death obsessed maniac. Back to the war mill!: And what are we now?: So drat close to doing whatever the Nether we want! We go back to Draenor and that's it! We're fighting for Gorefiend or Ner'zhul or... whatever other rear end in a top hat comes along! : I fight for me, Bloodgut. I fight because I love it, not because I was told to.: We owe it to our people to-: Right. And we're getting the stupid book already. But after that... : ...I'm staying here. Are you joining me?: Chieftain?: Come on. It'll be like old times.: Chieftain... : ...that's a lot of drat humans.: Looks like it's time to get to work then. And Bloodgut?: Yes, Chieftain?: This conversation isn't over. : I believe that the first order of business involves these incredibly stupid wall ballistae.  For all the jokes I make about this incredibly bizarre and game-y tactic, it... actually works. You're forced to combat the siege weaponry with either dragons (as seen here), death knight Death & Decay, or death wagons. It slows down a less coordinated murderball strategy. Not only that, but I kept misjudging their range and they picked off my ogres every so often. drat this incredibly dumb idea.  : Hahaha, what an incredibly dumb idea. : Uh, Bloodgut, I didn't call on the Doom Patrol here.: Neither did I, Chieftain. It seems that they're adamant that they handle things their way.  : Ooof, these humans haven't figured out that it's hazardous to their health to race through that miasma?  : Well, I can't argue that it isn't effective. We could push the entire army through a breach that large. : And they just keep coming! Stromgarde... were those the humans that were as dumb as a sack of rocks?: Well...: Trick question, they all are. I mean, wall ballistae? Gronn teets, they're broken headed. Alright, Bloodgut, my men will handle this. I want you to secure passage for that equally dumb human traitor.: What, like right now?: I'm using my respectful tone, Bloodgut. That's how this works, I handle the fun murder parts while you do the dumb manual labor parts.: Ugh... right away...Elsewhere, not far from the Alteraci prison...  : What is going on? Nigel doesn't want to come back to Draenor? This is... this is treason! : But... is he wrong? Will we just keep fighting under Ner'zhul's thumb? : Maybe I read Nigel all wrong. Maybe he doesn't like this eternal war that our people have become locked in.In the Stromgarde base...  : WOO HOO! BUUUUURRRRRN! : I love killing humans. But y'know... something is missing here. : Oh, yeah. That's the stuff.  : Ahahaha! Tremble in fear, humans! Chieftain Necksmasher is back and he is here to stay! I honestly forgot just how much damage a pack of bloodlusted ogres could do. It was like a swarm of locusts chewing through a field of overripe tomatoes.  : Ah, good times. Y'know, maybe after Gorefiend and his lackeys get off my world, I could just make myself the new warchief. : I'll probably have to mess up some of these other chieftains in the way, first. : Rend... Grom... whoever is running the drat Burning Blade now. All brought to heel. : Hey! HEY! What the Nether are you dead assholes doing?! : This is MY siege! Don't go tanking my murder record! This is, like, five simultaneous Death & Decays. It was a beautiful, terrifying sight.   : What am I supposed to do now?! I'm going to have quite the talk with your boss, Mister No Face himself. : So lame. Alright, screw it. Lemme find Bloodgut and finish up this whole... ditch Draenor thing.  : Like I would give up a life of human slaughter to go back to working under that foolish "shaman."Elsewhere...  : Ahem. "Hello, I represent the Shadowmoon clan. I was told that you have something that we desire." : "Hail, human. I have come in the name of Warchief Ner'zhul. I desire the Book of Medivh." : "You have made the right choice, human. We desire the book. Turn it over and your people shall be saved." : That's... a lot of well armed humans. Uh... uh... "H-hail... human." : "Th-the... book. We desire. Uh..."  : "HAIL, HUMAN. I DESIRE YOU. BOOK ME, PLEASE." : poo poo. Uhhh... "Just get in the boat." : That had to be the worst meeting between humans and orcs in our short history. : Oh, hey, looks like you got the human.: Nigel, what are you- : "BEARD HUMAN. ME ORC CHIEFTAIN. MANY TIME CRUSH FRIENDS. GIVE BOOK NOW.": I'm so glad you're here to make me look better in comparison. : So, what do you say? : About what? : Staying here. Fighting the good fight against the humans with me.: Wait, what? I thought this was about breaking the cycle. : Yeah, the cycle of working under a bunch of spineless idiots. With me we in command, we could rule this drat land. We would be free! : No more freak show death knights! No more orders from a forgotten dotard! Just us and our will to bring the humans to heel! : Hahaha! Victory!: I... I can't.: What?! : I can't turn my back on our people. What you're planning is treason. : It's not treason if you don't get caught. Can I at least trust you to keep your one-toothed yap shut?: Of course, Nigel. I'll be happy to see you leave anyway.
Azzur fucked around with this message at 13:54 on Dec 3, 2018 |
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Jun 2, 2018 12:44
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Dun dun duuuuuuun!
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Jun 2, 2018 13:04
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Uh oh...
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Jun 2, 2018 13:06
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Ah, the foreshadowing, it's just all over the place, isn't it?
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Jun 2, 2018 13:56
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NewMars posted:Ah, the foreshadowing, it's just all over the place, isn't it? We've got some big payoffs coming up soon! Cooked Auto posted:Dun dun duuuuuuun! I do so appreciate when people take note of my dumb little image names sometimes.
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Jun 2, 2018 14:04
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Sometimes my browser only loads like half the images, other times it works fine, but F5ing never works; it seems to depend on the time of day or rotation of the Moon. It actually worked much better with the off-site uploads. Odd.
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Jun 2, 2018 14:24
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THE BAR posted:Sometimes my browser only loads like half the images, other times it works fine, but F5ing never works; it seems to depend on the time of day or rotation of the Moon. It actually worked much better with the off-site uploads. Odd. Me too. I try and get around it by only loading a single post and refreshing that one, like so: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?action=showpost&postid=484668064
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Jun 2, 2018 15:15
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drat, I knew I was letting these things get too long. Edit: Good lord, this has been the longest update by far. I really let this get out of hand. I'll try and curate these a bit more and rein myself in. 
Azzur fucked around with this message at 16:20 on Jun 2, 2018 |
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Jun 2, 2018 15:18
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Azzur posted:I do so appreciate when people take note of my dumb little image names sometimes. I didn't even notice until now.  It was just the most apt reply I could come up with.
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Jun 2, 2018 15:59
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Doing the ogre-mage upgrade actually does turn the knights you get in this mission to paladins, but without a church you can't teach them any spells other than the holy vision they get automatically. That's a good way to explore the map and check on the enemy bases, at least. Still a bit disappointing that you can't get healing from them.
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Jun 2, 2018 17:42
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Alpha3KV posted:Doing the ogre-mage upgrade actually does turn the knights you get in this mission to paladins, but without a church you can't teach them any spells other than the holy vision they get automatically. That's a good way to explore the map and check on the enemy bases, at least. Still a bit disappointing that you can't get healing from them. If nothing else, it means you're not under heavy pressure to preserve them long enough to GET healing. They're expendable, just as if you'd started off with a bunch of ogres.
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Jun 2, 2018 18:28
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You know, the crazy thing is that when this LP turns from pure humour into something partially or wholly serious, I actually dig that, too. Actually kind of heartwarming that Nigel treats Bloodgut like a real person for a moment when the chips are down.
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Jun 2, 2018 21:22
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PurpleXVI posted:You know, the crazy thing is that when this LP turns from pure humour into something partially or wholly serious, I actually dig that, too. Yeah, it was about time. I was glad to see that too, and to see that Nigel at least has some goal, and that they've been playing dumb about Vilefeast's passenger.
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Jun 2, 2018 21:50
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Azzur posted:I do so appreciate when people take note of my dumb little image names sometimes. That's some good image naming now that you've mentioned I should check it. Azzur posted:drat, I knew I was letting these things get too long. If they continue to be this funny, that's honestly not a bad thing. But if it takes too long for you to write up, maybe you are writing a bit too much. Still, cutting some images and their attendant commentary might cut down a page or two of Word, maybe. Keep it up though, we're getting to the parts of BtDP that I don't quite remember and seeing them with your humor makes recalling bits and pieces of it quite a bit easier, especially when I don't have to worry about actually doing the missions as they were drat hard to my teenage rear end at RTS self without cheating. GhostStalker fucked around with this message at 06:07 on Jun 3, 2018 |
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Jun 3, 2018 04:11
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Yeah, updates in the future shouldn't be getting this large. I end up with a huge amount of screenshots and I go through three passes to get rid of the chaff, but I'm being a bit more selective when it comes to writing. Does this count for having written a novel?
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Jun 3, 2018 04:30
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I think the long length of the update is more because you're getting to the endgame of your version of BtDP's plot and naturally that involves a lot of people expositioning or whatever. Wasn't the finale of the base game's LP also a lot like that? It also doesn't help that unlike the last two LPs Nigel's story is basically front and center here instead of being more of a way to riff on the events of the games (barring things like Vile's death and the like).
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Jun 3, 2018 05:01
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Dr. Snark posted:I think the long length of the update is more because you're getting to the endgame of your version of BtDP's plot and naturally that involves a lot of people expositioning or whatever. Wasn't the finale of the base game's LP also a lot like that? There's also that. We are going to get to a conclusion of sorts with the final mission for the Orcs, but that's not to say that our orc characters will be staying out of the story from here on out! ...but yeah, things were crazy near the end of Tides of Darkness.
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Jun 3, 2018 05:08
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You could also split an update into two parts if it gets too long. With an axe.
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Jun 3, 2018 08:16
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Hoping for great climaxes and story conclusions / developments in all updates to come, Orc and Human. I have some ideas about what could happen, but your plans are in all probability far better than my speculation. Split updates if necessary, keep up the good work!
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Jun 3, 2018 08:34
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Too bad wc3 is so much more character based, the added in-game dialogue and the campaign linearity would probably make things difficult.
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Jun 3, 2018 15:12
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lobster22221 posted:Too bad wc3 is so much more character based, the added in-game dialogue and the campaign linearity would probably make things difficult. We'll certainly see! I've had a few years to think this project over in my head. We're just about halfway done with BtDP now, so once this is tackled I can start worrying about that.
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Jun 3, 2018 15:21
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Oof, alright, going a little slow on the update this week, so we won't be seeing a Main update this Saturday. That said, we will still have our Lore update on Wednesday and a Mystery Orc Theater (finale!) in place of things this week. Next week I'll throw up a little something small as a peace offering. Until then, I've got to get back to work!
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Jun 5, 2018 02:38
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Looking forward to it all, thanks.
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Jun 5, 2018 08:17
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 Alterac: Dragon Kings and Magical Lobotomies Lore for... Betrayal at Castle on the Hill We've talked a little bit about Alterac before, but this is the nation that keeps getting weirder. I mean, what happened to this crazy place after the Second War ended and the orcs were declared the losers? Let's delve into that, shall we? To begin with, we're going to start a bit before the Second War, with Alterac a free city-state and a nice, powerful army. Conveniently they were located adjacent to Stromgarde which... also had a nice, powerful army. And fuzzy boundary lines. Y'see, it's sort of hard to tell where one land ends and the other begins when you have all these drat mountains in the way. Being super cool and rational people with nothing better to do, Stromgarde and Alterac often clashed... for reasons. Vague reasons? I mean, technically it was border skirmishes, but... like, why? I may be crazy, but I think you may need a bit more incentive to murder dudes than "No, Thoras! Those are MY rocks!"  "Is everyone seeing this?! Oh, I am totally justified with killing a bunch of people, now!" So when the orcs did pour through the Dark Portal and start making their way north, the grand Alliance was proposed. I mean, except that Aiden Perenolde has to stare over at his rival Thoras Trollbane and is told to "put it all behind you for the sake of humanity." Well, gently caress that Lothar! We're petty little shits! It's not 100% confirmed that Alterac's grievances with Stromgarde led to them betraying the Alliance, but it certainly made the choice easier. In truth, it's much more likely that Perenolde was a giant coward and didn't want to be involved in the war and was too guilty to not join the Alliance. Then in order to save his country from the orcs, he sold out the rest of his kind in favor of his new green overlords. But like we said, that didn't work. Alterac was caught. The orcs lost. The Alliance ruled. So what happened to Alterac? If you remember, it was put under martial law and then a bunch of soldiers took things into their own hands and burnt the place down. You'd think that the most reasonable solution (and incredibly Warcraft-style solution) would be to have Perenolde executed and his lands parceled out to nearby nations. Well, the problems that arose were chinks in the armor of the Alliance. You see, everyone wanted a little piece of Alterac, mainly Stromgarde and Lordaeron, which threatened to lead to a power struggle while the two forces were still trying to rebuild. On top of that, executing a king and stripping his family of power would set a terrifying precedent for the other kings. I mean, if you can cut off one king's head, why couldn't you hack off a few more? It's like maybe the monarchs realized that a monarchy was... a fragile thing easily threatened by the populace. So the Alliance did the next best thing: they put Aiden Perenolde under house arrest. It's... a solution, I guess? Meanwhile, everyone was fighting over who should take over the mantle of king, since Perenolde was definitely getting the boot. Of course, the Alliance stayed true to acting entirely opposite to their namesake and started in-fighting. Lordaeron wanted to raise up Aiden's son, Aliden (Ugh, who names their kid their own name, but with one extra letter?), to the throne. Gilneas wanted instead Aiden's nephew, Isiden, to be given the title. Kul Tiras was suddenly worried that if Gilneas gained political clout, it could threaten their naval superiority. Long and short: dumb politics. So the Alliance did the only thing that made sense. They elected Deathwing to be king.  Okay, it didn't happen like this, but come on... Yeah, that happened. Do you remember that bit about Deathwing posing as a Alteraci noble named Daval Prestor? Well, he did a great job and charmed the pants off of the kings. So much so that they were like, "Y'know what? Let's just give Prestor the whole kingdom. He seems nice." And the plan would have been perfect if the orcs didn't bust through the portal again and start hoovering up artifacts. Easily distracted, the horrible dragon of destruction then sided with the orcs while the Alliance forgot about Alterac. But Aiden wasn't done yet! He's still a weird schemin' dude. When Gorefiend launched his attack on New Stormwind, Perenolde's Alteraci spies struck and stole the Book of Medivh. For reasons. Seriously, they just stole it as leverage in a later betrayal/bullshit situation. Just imagine the balls of Perenolde to pull that one. "Alright, the orcs are attacking! Let's steal some poo poo so that we can ransom it back later for more power. Y'know, because everyone loves me and aren't debating the ethics of hacking me to pieces already." So then we smash apart the occupying forces of Stromgarde and Lordaeron and we get the book, right? Haha, no, no... there's more stupid stuff to unpack. Y'see, Gorefiend actually approached King Perenolde directly! Unfortunately, it turned out the the king was totally insane. Deathwing thought that someone who had their mind all sorts of hosed up by a dragon of immense age and power would be less likely to point out that there was no "second cousin twice removed" named Daval Prestor. So yeah, Deathwing turned Perenolde into a lobotomy patient. This just made it all the easier for Gorefiend to arrange a hand off of the book between intermediaries. God drat, Alterac is dumb as hell. Azzur fucked around with this message at 12:22 on Jun 6, 2018 |
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Jun 6, 2018 12:05
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Aren't the Perenoldes still around as of vanilla WoW? And squatting in the remains of Alterac in the Alterac Mountains and leading the Syndicate (some Rogue faction) in some manner? I distinctly remember exploring that area and killing him or at least a mob with that last name, if not Aiden himself.
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Jun 6, 2018 12:24
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GhostStalker posted:Aren't the Perenoldes still around as of vanilla WoW? And squatting in the remains of Alterac in the Alterac Mountains and leading the Syndicate (some Rogue faction) in some manner? I distinctly remember exploring that area and killing him or at least a mob with that last name, if not Aiden himself. Oh yeah, the Perenolde family has a strange and white trash-y history. Everyone that comes out of Alterac just seems to have "the most evil dude ever" spray painted over his face.* *Not equating being white trash with being evil. I should know. I spent many years thinking that mullets were cool and that walking around wearing only jean shorts was badass. Azzur fucked around with this message at 12:37 on Jun 6, 2018 |
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Jun 6, 2018 12:34
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GhostStalker posted:Aren't the Perenoldes still around as of vanilla WoW? And squatting in the remains of Alterac in the Alterac Mountains and leading the Syndicate (some Rogue faction) in some manner? I distinctly remember exploring that area and killing him or at least a mob with that last name, if not Aiden himself. All I remember of the Syndicate was that Blizzard wanted to make Defias for later levels at some point but, like with most stuff in that area, went nowhere with it. Same goes with Ravenholdt. Which was a bit more disappointing.
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Jun 6, 2018 13:12
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Plenty of wars in real life history have been started over border disputes. Usually there’s also religion (India vs Pakistan), nobles wanting independence from one side or swearing allegiance to another (feudal Japan & Europe), natural or manmade resources (ancient China), or land expansion (Germany in either world war), or something else involved too, but it comes down to “I want what’s yours and more of what I have already”. The great conquerors Caesar, Genghis Khan, Soviet Russia, etc are the only ones who don’t need illusions for their warmongering (unless they’re giving someone the runaround). There may also be racism going on. Or maybe way back when some Perenolde ancestors and some Trollbane ancestors were in an army together and one side thought the other too cowardly and vice versa too rash, people died who maybe didn’t have to, and grudges have been carried ever since. The latter is true of many old blood feuds.
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Jun 6, 2018 13:17
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GhostStalker posted:Aren't the Perenoldes still around as of vanilla WoW? And squatting in the remains of Alterac in the Alterac Mountains and leading the Syndicate (some Rogue faction) in some manner? I distinctly remember exploring that area and killing him or at least a mob with that last name, if not Aiden himself. There was one known surviving member of the Perenolde family, who happened to own a beautiful necklace that once belonged to a woman named Teretha. Thrall sent the Horde PCs to kill Perenolde and retrieve that necklace, and that's the last anyone's heard of Alterac's royal family. Cooked Auto posted:All I remember of the Syndicate was that Blizzard wanted to make Defias for later levels at some point but, like with most stuff in that area, went nowhere with it. It's strongly implied that Lord Ravenholdt was a high-ranking noble of Alterac, and we know from him that ravens used to be the primary symbol of the kingdom (which ties into a ridiculously convoluted backstory).
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Jun 6, 2018 13:39
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Cythereal posted:It's strongly implied that Lord Ravenholdt was a high-ranking noble of Alterac, and we know from him that ravens used to be the primary symbol of the kingdom (which ties into a ridiculously convoluted backstory). In that case I was more referring to how they were utilized in game since there were obvious hints there were more to that place back in Vanilla than was what there. But it never went anywhere and Alterac and its surroundings felt a lot like an afterthought with how spare the content for Alliance was past the Wetlands and Thandol Span.
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Jun 6, 2018 13:51
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I do love the ideas present with Alterac that sort of just.. fizzled? I mean, it's not like they HAD to go somewhere, it's just that I would have liked it if they did. When I heard about Battle for Azeroth, I was sort of hoping that it was WoW pulling back from the more cosmic battles and focusing more on the human relationships and history. I want to see people getting all mad about Alterac again and Kul Tiras waving their swords around while shouting, "drat YOU ORCS!" I want trolls talking about collecting elf ears while orcs smash down walls with death wagons. That's the Warcraft I love. I actually have no idea about BFA. Am I close? Tell me I'm close.
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Jun 6, 2018 14:42
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Azzur posted:I do love the ideas present with Alterac that sort of just.. fizzled? I mean, it's not like they HAD to go somewhere, it's just that I would have liked it if they did. When I heard about Battle for Azeroth, I was sort of hoping that it was WoW pulling back from the more cosmic battles and focusing more on the human relationships and history. I want to see people getting all mad about Alterac again and Kul Tiras waving their swords around while shouting, "drat YOU ORCS!" I want trolls talking about collecting elf ears while orcs smash down walls with death wagons. That's the Warcraft I love. That's the surface plot, though it's more the Forsaken being comically evil while Sylvanas wails about how misunderstood and alone she is. But it's very transparently a setup for more cosmic battles, this time headlining the Void with Queen Azshara as the heavy. Every WoW expansion that's headlined the faction war has actually been about Old God poo poo - Cataclysm and Mists of Pandaria both.
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Jun 6, 2018 15:05
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Cythereal posted:Every WoW expansion that's headlined the faction war has actually been about Old God poo poo - Cataclysm and Mists of Pandaria both. 
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Jun 6, 2018 15:14
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This time we're specifically up against N'Zoth, called in a few places the God of the Deep. He's the most Cthulu-like of the bunch, being based underwater - he's the power behind the naga and kvaldir, and was the primary source of the Emerald Nightmare. A smaller, not quite true Old God is also present: G'huun, the God of Blood, who is imprisoned, for now, underneath Zandalar. I'm not the best person to explain BFA, though, considering I hate the faction war and what you said is the Warcraft you love is the Warcraft I hate - I came into the series in WC3 and love the story of these old enemies learning to work and come together, putting aside old hatreds and working for a better, brighter future.
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Jun 6, 2018 15:22
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Cythereal posted:I'm not the best person to explain BFA, though, considering I hate the faction war and what you said is the Warcraft you love is the Warcraft I hate - I came into the series in WC3 and love the story of these old enemies learning to work and come together, putting aside old hatreds and working for a better, brighter future. Yeah, I'm definitely not the target demo for Warcraft anymore. I think that I am always excited to see what's happening in Warcraft now, but then I end up remembering my old drawings from 3rd grade or something of orcs fighting humans. I've got some hard nostalgia goggles for this game series. It makes for some passion when it comes to the Main Updates, some cynical snark for the Lore Updates, and who knows what the hell is going to happen with later games. Maybe my mind will just snap and I'll start whispering prayers to Metzen in the dark.
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Jun 6, 2018 15:44
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achtungnight posted:Plenty of wars in real life history have been started over border disputes. Usually there’s also religion (India vs Pakistan), nobles wanting independence from one side or swearing allegiance to another (feudal Japan & Europe), natural or manmade resources (ancient China), or land expansion (Germany in either world war), or something else involved too, but it comes down to “I want what’s yours and more of what I have already”. The great conquerors Caesar, Genghis Khan, Soviet Russia, etc are the only ones who don’t need illusions for their warmongering (unless they’re giving someone the runaround). There may also be racism going on. Or maybe way back when some Perenolde ancestors and some Trollbane ancestors were in an army together and one side thought the other too cowardly and vice versa too rash, people died who maybe didn’t have to, and grudges have been carried ever since. The latter is true of many old blood feuds. See also: Any Paradox strategy game ever. Pretty Borders Uber Alles. Azzur posted:Yeah, I'm definitely not the target demo for Warcraft anymore. I think that I am always excited to see what's happening in Warcraft now, but then I end up remembering my old drawings from 3rd grade or something of orcs fighting humans. I've got some hard nostalgia goggles for this game series. It makes for some passion when it comes to the Main Updates, some cynical snark for the Lore Updates, and who knows what the hell is going to happen with later games. Maybe my mind will just snap and I'll start whispering prayers to Metzen in the dark. Plot twist - he was being influenced by the Old Gods THIS WHOLE TIME!!!!!! Or maybe he was secretly one of them. 
Dr. Snark fucked around with this message at 15:50 on Jun 6, 2018 |
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Jun 6, 2018 15:48
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It should be worth noting that by the time Alterac turned traitor, the Horde had already carved a path of death and destruction as they took the longest route to get to Lordaeron’s capital. Instead of going west like everyone expected, which would have left Alterac alone until/unless poo poo hit the fan in Lordaeron (since Alterac was smack dab in the middle of the continent), they went along a loop to the east, with a pit stop in Quel’thalas... and Alterac was all that stood between them and their final goal. Aiden had come to expect that he wouldn’t be in any serious danger unless Lordaeron fell, and likely figured that since the war would almost definitely be lost if things came to that, he could sue for peace with his new orcish overlords before his kingdom was burned to the ground. So on figuring out that Alterac was going to be in danger way ahead of schedule... he promptly poo poo himself, and struck a secret bargain with Doomhammer to outright turn traitor, instead of just being a dick and leaving the other kingdoms to their fates (like they were all probably expecting from him). Regalingualius fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Jun 6, 2018 |
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Jun 6, 2018 18:35
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While I can't say too much because I've been avoiding stuff, BFA is going to start with open warfare and one major capital city per faction getting wiped off the map. Like, completely destroyed. The Horde will then head for Zandalar, while the Alliance heads for Kul'tiras, in both cases looking to recruit them into their faction and gain access to their Navies. But both the Zandalari, and Kul'tiras have problems of their own, because we need leveling content. Zandalari has rapidly gone from the most powerful Troll kingdom left to barely being able to handle problems within their own borders, while Kul'tiras is having all sorts of issues of their own; they left the Alliance after Rexxar killed Daelin in WC3 because literally everyone else in the Alliance refused to help them go take revenge, feeling that Daelin kinda brought it on himself. But Kul'tiras doesn't hate the Alliance, they hate Jaina for betraying her father. I think G'huun is the accidental result of some failed experiment by Titans to figure out how to remove Old Gods from the planet without killing the Planet. Cause the last time they tried to remove an Old God from the planet, it left an enormous gaping wound in the planet that would go on to become the Well of Eternity. Those Arcane waters are basically Titan Blood. --- As for Alterac, things went pretty far south for them from here on out. And by that I mean Alterac basically ceased to exist as a kingdom after this due to further retribution by Stromgarde and Lordaeron. Without a king, anarchy descended upon the kingdom, and it dissolved over time, with territory being claimed by Ogres, the Frostwolf Clan of Orcs, the Stormpike Dwarves, and the Syndicate formed from the remnants of the Alterac Nobility. Fun fact, while the Alterac Mountains themselves used to be their own zone in Vanilla WoW, they were basically combined as a subzone of the Hillsbrad Foothills when Cataclysm revamped the map, further striking the name of Alterac from the modern World (of Warcraft).
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Jun 6, 2018 21:30
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BlazetheInferno posted:While I can't say too much because I've been avoiding stuff, BFA is going to start with open warfare and one major capital city per faction getting wiped off the map. Like, completely destroyed. The Horde will then head for Zandalar, while the Alliance heads for Kul'tiras, in both cases looking to recruit them into their faction and gain access to their Navies. But both the Zandalari, and Kul'tiras have problems of their own, because we need leveling content. That's too bad. I always liked Alterac story. Orange is my favorite color so naturally I will support traitors. My first guild in WoW was named "Remnants of Alterac" and played the "No true Scotsman" angle, saying that no true man of Alterac would have helped the horde and since we were loyal to the alliance we ought to become the new power in Alterac. Then the guild leader got tired of explaining the lore and built a new guild and named it generic Honors Guard.
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Jun 6, 2018 21:52
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