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pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

It just keeps getting better.

Jesus I figured more players than that would show up just for the novelty of it.

I mean its hard to see the point of inviting someone to the White House if the only RSVP is someone named Big Dick Nick.

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I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Big dick Nick arrives at the oval office, pulls out his enormous Hoagie, lays it on the desk and says "get a ruler and measure it you tiny fingered orang utan"

Asproigerosis
Mar 13, 2013

insufferable
Big Dick Nick coming to the white house? Melanie in the hospital for a month from the vapors and party cancelled by jealous pee daddy. Many such cases!

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Trump would be jealous of Ivanka getting into a tiz, let's be real.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

It just keeps getting better.

hahahaha

Also, Trump was apparently furious and scrambling when Tom Brady didn't come to the White House last year, as he took it personally. Which, great!

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?

owned. go birds


PS gently caress Nick Foles

Acebuckeye13
Nov 2, 2010
Ultra Carp

Manoueverable posted:

I'm definitely being judgmental but I thought for sure Wentz would be the one player from the Eagles most likely to go

Allegedly he said that he'd be willing to go if the team as a whole was going, which obviously didn't work out :v:

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Carson Wentz gets himself locked in the White House Bathroom, has to be rescued by the secret service.

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

FuriousxGeorge posted:

Gonna have a hard time winning PA as a Republican if the Philly burbs turn too hard against you, and the Philly burbs are just as irrationally rabid Eagles fans as the city is.


https://www.thescore.com/nfl/news/1554347

hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahha only big dick nick was gonna go

amazing

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Who was the guy with the "We got off Mr Kelly's wild ride" avatar?

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Who was the guy with the "We got off Mr Kelly's wild ride" avatar?

That'd be me :)

It also referenced Carson Wentz getting locked in a Wawa bathroom.



GobiasIndustries
Dec 14, 2007

Lipstick Apathy
On one hand, Big Dick Nick being the only player to show up would have been hilarious. On the other hand, I would not be able to support Big Dick Nick as a player anymore.


:ohdear:

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

axeil posted:

That'd be me :)

It also referenced Carson Wentz getting locked in a Wawa bathroom.





Ah yes that was the one.

https://twitter.com/redford/status/1004076099016351744

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

GobiasIndustries posted:

On one hand, Big Dick Nick being the only player to show up would have been hilarious. On the other hand, I would not be able to support Big Dick Nick as a player anymore.


:ohdear:

There is nothing Big Dick Nick could do to make me not support him.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
White House visit cancelled after Jason Kelce is the only one to show up. President Trump says "that guy is just too crazy, even for me".

A Man and his dog
Oct 24, 2013

by R. Guyovich
Big Dick Nick probably didn't even think about it and was like "oh" when learning about it.

Also he beat the Patriots in the SB so he gets a pass on this.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008

quote:

╔═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╗

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Repost this if ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ you are a beautiful strong Super Bowl team ~ ~ ~

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ who don’t need no White House trip ~ ~ ~

╚═════════════════ ೋღ☃ღೋ ════════════════╝

MalarkeyToboggan
Jan 4, 2015



pasaluki posted:

There is nothing Big Dick Nick could do to make me not support him.

Seriously. Eli and Nick could go on a rampage doing all sorts of deplorable poo poo and I'd still be cheering them on every step of the way.

WinnebagoWarrior
Apr 8, 2009

I eat Rotheseburgehergh's like you for breakfast

GobiasIndustries posted:

On one hand, Big Dick Nick being the only player to show up would have been hilarious. On the other hand, I would not be able to support Big Dick Nick as a player anymore.


:ohdear:

You could just start a rumor that while he was there he porked Ivanka on the same bed the pee tape took place and spermed in her hair. Everyone would want to believe and we would all love BDN again

GonadTheBallbarian
Jul 23, 2007


WinnebagoWarrior posted:

You could just start a rumor that while he was there he porked Ivanka on the same bed the pee tape took place and spermed in her hair. Everyone would want to believe and we would all love BDN again

Yeah but that actually happened

Nail Rat
Dec 29, 2000

You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!!

His stupid loving mouth pisses me off so much.

DuhSal
Aug 16, 2004

I will, brother. I promise.



Pillbug

This is exactly like when Mr. Bean was singing in church, but real.

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
Here, feast on a dumb ESPN Insider article:

quote:

NFL - Offseason grades for all 32 teams, from NFL executives
by Mike Sando

Los Angeles Rams
Grade: A-


The Rams worked the system impressively. Acquiring Brandin Cooks, Marcus Peters and Aqib Talib by trade and Ndamukong Suh off the discard pile shielded those acquisitions from the formula for compensatory draft choices. When Sammy Watkins and Trumaine Johnson left the team for massive paydays, the Rams moved into position to receive two 2019 third-round comp picks. Well done.

That work and the Rams' ability to maneuver their way into 11 selections in the 2018 draft produced high marks from executives, despite obvious risks.

"They asked Sean McVay about adding some risky players, and he said, 'My defensive coordinator [Wade Phillips] has more swag than all of them,'" an exec said. "That is very empowering."

Trading away credible veterans Alec Ogletree and Robert Quinn while embracing players such as Peters, Talib and Suh did not go over well with everyone. It was notable, too, that other core players, notably Aaron Donald, had not yet received extensions.

"I think of [Eagles GM] Howie Roseman and the dream team and I think Howie learned from that," another exec said. "There is a difference between acquiring talent and building a team. I think they did more acquiring talent than anyone else. But I could very well see all the pieces work and them having a lot of success. Suh is fine -- even people with the Dolphins will tell you he is just kind of his own guy, not a bad guy. I'm not sure I want Peters around Talib, however."

Another exec called Peters misunderstood -- good at heart, but emotional to a fault.

"They have Wade Phillips, so they should be able to rein that in the next two years and get the best from him," this exec said. "Now, it could blow up, but if the purpose of these grades is to look at who acquired talent, the Rams have to be up there."

One big question: Where will the outside pass-rush come from?



New England Patriots
Grade: A-


The Patriots, like the Rams, worked the compensatory pick system to their favor, putting themselves in position to add two third-rounders in 2019, plus later-round picks. Why overpay declining talent in free agency when you can acquire veteran personnel via trade, then pick up comp choices in early rounds as a reward for your restraint in the unrestricted free agent (UFA) market?

The Patriots let declining left tackle Nate Solder leave, replacing him with first-round pick Isaiah Wynn. They acquired cornerback Jason McCourty after losing Malcolm Butler. They used their other first-rounder for running back Sony Michel after losing Dion Lewis, and then they replaced receiver Danny Amendola with sixth-rounder Braxton Berrios, who evaluators see as a viable slot option. They also picked up right tackle Trent Brown from San Francisco.

Solder, Butler and Lewis signed for $143 million combined. Their replacements will command a fraction of that sum.

"Sony Michel has the potential to have an Alvin Kamara-type season," an exec said. "He has major medical concerns, but New England tends to draft and replace those guys, turning them out every four years, anyway. My biggest concern with Wynn is durability and that he is an average athlete, but they have one of the best line coaches and one of the best quarterbacks for getting rid of the ball, so they will be fine."

This exec thought the McCourty acquisition was the biggest one for the Patriots.

"You are getting a starter at a position of need for much cheaper than Butler -- a steal, even if it is just for one year and then Duke Dawson replaces him," the exec said.

This offseason would feel better for New England if Tom Brady were attending voluntary workouts and outwardly thrilled with his situation. But Brady will show up when it matters, and when he does, Josh McDaniels will still be his offensive coordinator after nearly leaving for Indy. Julian Edelman, Dont'a Hightower, Marcus Cannon and Derek Rivers will be back from injuries once the season starts, further strengthening New England.

"Brady thinks what he's doing is better for him because he is meticulous," an exec said. "But the nature of the NFL game is that when you are not there, you are not taking every opportunity to prepare yourself as well as you could have. What happens if his play dips? Remember, they change wideouts all the time. It can eat at the core of your team. It feels like the last year or two."


Arizona Cardinals
Grade: B+


While head coach and quarterback are two of the most important roles in an organization, sometimes it seems as though no one has any idea how to project success for either one. We're left to evaluate the process, and in the Cardinals' case, there was much to like. They named Steve Wilks head coach after what appeared to be a legitimate search, and they landed arguably the most pro-ready quarterback in the draft without overextending.

Other teams trading up to select quarterbacks in the top half of the first round paid hefty premiums. The Giants gave up three second-rounders. The Bills leveraged Cordy Glenn and multiple early picks (including one that had cost the team No. 1 wideout Sammy Watkins a year earlier).

Arizona gave up merely third- and fifth-rounders in moving up five spots for Josh Rosen. "Not only did they not pay a premium," an exec marveled, "they didn't even pay market value!"

And while coaches and evaluators question Rosen's personality and attitude, all the quarterbacks in this class carried question marks through the process.

"If you were to poll coaches or scouts who evaluated all the quarterbacks, very few from a pure talent standpoint would say, 'Yeah, Josh Allen is a better talent than Josh Rosen,'" an exec said. "Most would tell you Rosen is a better talent, just pure watching him on film. Yet, what Buffalo had to give up to get Allen is crazy compared to what Arizona had to give up to get Rosen."

Another exec said he would give the Cardinals an "A" grade for the offseason if the market for Sam Bradford hadn't pushed his price tag so high. Even with the protections Arizona built into the contract, Bradford would cost the team more than $17 million even if he lasted just half the season. That deal was made before Arizona knew it could land a quarterback in the draft.


Baltimore Ravens
Grade: B+


The Ravens get high marks for their 2017 offseason work, largely because their selection of Lamar Jackson with the 32nd overall pick represented good value and a chance to reap the rewards of inexpensive labor at the QB position. It won't happen this season, but it could happen once Eric DeCosta replaces Ozzie Newsome as GM in 2019 as part of a succession plan announced in February.

Baltimore had a 54-26 (.675) record and won a Super Bowl when quarterback Joe Flacco was playing on his rookie contract. The Ravens are 40-40 since Flacco signed a contract extension lucrative enough to reduce the team's flexibility and, in turn, its margin for error in personnel decisions. Flacco's Total QBR on his 2008-12 rookie deal (56.3) was similar to his QBR since then (52.7), but the team's offensive and defensive efficiency have plummeted as the roster has eroded.

"They let really good players walk out the door because they don't want to pay them -- like Ryan Jensen this offseason," an exec said. "If I were Baltimore, I would have let him walk, too, but you are losing a quality starting-level center, so they have to fill in, and you need rookies to develop. Those rookies haven't developed frequently enough of late, and now, all of a sudden, you have holes. Maybe they will be able to take the next step forward."


Minnesota Vikings
Grade: B


The Vikings finally stabilized their quarterback situation for the long term. The three-year, $84 million price paid for Kirk Cousins makes them a fascinating case study.

"They went out and said, 'We've talked ourselves through the professional tape and Kirk Cousins makes more throws in more situations than Case Keenum, so he is going to give us that little nudge we need to win those games when the defense is not at its best,'" an exec said. "I believe he is capable of doing that. The rest is fit, and I'm not going to get into whether he's aloof and what his teammates think of him and whether that is why [Redskins president] Bruce Allen didn't like him and called him 'Kurt' during his press conferences."

The difference between the price for Cousins and what former starter Case Keenum is getting from Denver is about what it would have taken to keep running back Jerick McKinnon, but he never seemed to be a priority. Meanwhile, the Vikings have already re-signed linebacker Eric Kendricks.

"They still have Anthony Barr, Danielle Hunter and Stefon Diggs to pay, and then with Kirk, he is a good player, but he simply cannot finish games consistently," an exec said. "He was not a finisher at Michigan State and he is not a finisher in the league."

Is that really true? Since 2015, Cousins trails only Andrew Luck, Russell Wilson and Tom Brady in QBR during the final 7:30 of games when his team trailed by as many as eight points. There's still a perception that Cousins implodes at the most critical junctures. However, two other execs said they would have done what the Vikings did, albeit with some reservations.

"Not that I think Kirk Cousins is worth all that money, but in terms of upgrading the quarterback position, keeping their team intact and starting to extend their own guys, they did well," one of these execs said. "They re-signed Kendricks and now they are working on the other three guys. I think they can pull it off. They've got the cap room over the next few years. They could always pick two of the three guys to extend and trade the other one."


"They still have Anthony Barr, Danielle Hunter and Stefon Diggs to pay, and then with Kirk, he is a good player, but he simply cannot finish games consistently. He was not a finisher at Michigan State and he is not a finisher in the league." An NFL exec
Cleveland Browns
Grade: B


This offseason was sitting on a tee for the Browns. It looks like they hit a solid double. They get an "A" grade for their maneuvering in the veteran market and a "C" for their work in the draft. Their surprising decision to retain head coach Hue Jackson is a wait-and-see move that doesn't shift the grade either way in the short term.

"They took a short quarterback [Baker Mayfield] and an undersized corner [Denzel Ward] in the top five picks, which is not ideal," an exec said. "It's not that I don't like either player, I just don't think they should've been selected there. I thought you could get your quarterback and then either Saquon Barkley or Bradley Chubb, in whatever order. If you take a corner fourth, I'm used to seeing players like Patrick Peterson with the right combination of elite athleticism and size."

This exec thought six victories was a realistic floor for the Browns in 2018. He applauded them for showing restraint in free agency despite having ample cap space at their disposal. However, another exec noted that veterans weren't eager to sign with Cleveland, a reality driven home when the Browns failed to factor in the Alex Smith trade-and-sign discussions. This exec liked how Cleveland used the trade market to acquire Jarvis Landry, Tyrod Taylor and Damarious Randall.

"They did a really good job in free agency of getting a veteran in every meeting room," another exec said. "But the Ward selection felt like an owner's directive to get the local kid. He is just a different type of corner than the other corners they were signing. You could have had Chubb and Myles Garrett side-by-side on your defense and you passed it up? I don't get that."


Washington Redskins
Grade: B


Washington botched the Kirk Cousins negotiations years ago. That won't count against them here. They recovered admirably by acquiring Alex Smith from the Chiefs.

"Kansas City got a good young corner [Kendall Fuller] and a third-round pick that turned into a guy named Malik Jefferson [selected by Cincinnati after another trade]," an exec said of the Smith trade. "Washington would make that trade every day of the week for a starting quarterback who is everything you want as a leader and is showing no signs of slowing down."

Cousins or Smith? There is some debate over which one is better, which suggests they're roughly comparable. But through the nature of their contracts, only one of them -- Cousins -- will be seen as a disappointment if he fails to reach the Super Bowl with his new team.

"You are talking about grizzled Alex Smith with 15,000 different coordinators, actually getting better as his career goes on," an exec said. "Washington gets a better leader. Do they get a better player? I think that is strong enough to nudge him to being a better player. He is not a Hall of Famer, but like Kurt Warner, he can be good at 35, 36."


Los Angeles Chargers
Grade: B


Extending cornerback Casey Hayward and landing safety Derwin James with the 17th overall pick drew rave reviews, but heads shook when the Chargers lost another important player, tight end Hunter Henry, to a season-ending knee injury.

"The sheer number of serious injuries they've had across multiple coaching staffs makes you wonder if there is something systemic in their training," an evaluator said. "It's not marginal players always getting hurt, either. It is good players like [Chris] Watt a few years ago, Keenan Allen, Forrest Lamp, now Henry. What is in the water there?"

Another exec cautioned against overreaction, noting that medical experts who addressed teams at the combine said sample sizes were too small to draw conclusions over a few additional injuries here or there. Numbers charted by the ACL Recovery Club showed the Chargers among 15 teams with more than one torn ACL in 2017. Baltimore (five) and Philadelphia (four) had the most. The Chargers had two, as did six other teams.

"They will miss Henry, but their line should be better with Lamp returning," an exec said. "Their lack of depth always catches up to them, and I still feel that is going to end up killing them with injuries."


Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Grade: B


The Buccaneers re-signed receiver Mike Evans, tight end Cameron Brate and cornerback Brent Grimes. They added veteran toughness on their lines, with center Ryan Jensen and defensive tackle Mitch Unrein. They helped their pass rush with Jason Pierre-Paul and Vinny Curry. They addressed their run defense with first-round pick Vita Vea.

"I was critical of their moves last offseason because of the types of guys they were adding," an exec said. "They tried to go the complete opposite this year. I like the fact that they did not make a bad mistake worse. They actually said, 'We screwed it up. Let's remedy it. Let's get rid of some of these guys and move on from these pass-rushers.'"

Multiple evaluators questioned whether Vea possesses enough pass-rush ability to justify his selection with the 12th overall choice.

"But if that is what they have been struggling with, all they are saying is, 'We want to keep our linebackers clean' because they have two really, really good linebackers," one of these execs said. "I respect that, but I just wasn't a fan of Vita Vea that early. The back they got in the second round, Ronald Jones, was explosively fast, but they still don't have a bell-cow type of guy. Not many teams do."


Denver Broncos
Grade: B


Think how much different outside expectations might be if the Broncos had paid $28 million per year for Kirk Cousins. Keenum outplayed Cousins last season but hasn't over their careers. If all goes to plan for Denver, Keenum will be a better value than Cousins, at $18 million annually.

"Keenum is not going to carry a team, but he is not going to have to," an exec who is optimistic on Denver said. "He is just going to have to score 21 points a game and not lose it for them. I liked the [running back] Royce Freeman pick. I liked the [receiver] Courtland Sutton pick. I think the defense will trust the offense this year and know they are not going to be in bad situations, so the defense will be able to be more aggressive."

Keenum should help the Broncos improve upon their 32.2 QBR from last season, which ranked 363rd out of 384 teams since 2006, one spot ahead of the winless 2008 Lions. Keenum had a 40.6 QBR in his first 24 starts before breaking out with a 69.0 QBR in 14 starts last season.

The Broncos' ability to land the draft's highest-rated pass-rusher, Bradley Chubb, with the fifth overall pick is what boosted their offseason grade into the upper ranks. One exec thought Keenum and Chubb could help Denver push deep into the AFC playoffs, possibly to the conference championship game, but there was enough uncertainty to give others pause.

"You add Chubb, and yeah, they are going to have one of the best pass-rushing sets in the league," an exec said. "I also really like Sutton, who makes it easier to move on from their receivers' contracts in the future. But the offensive line has questions. The running game is a question. If Keenum plays the way he did last year, they could be really good. They just feel like an 8-8 team to me."


New York Jets
Grade: B


The Jets did what had to be done to land their franchise quarterback in Sam Darnold. That one move could make 2018 the offseason that boosts their organization for the next decade. Yet, are the Jets set up well to support a young quarterback? They employ an exceptional mentor in Josh McCown, but they are not stacked at wide receiver or tight end. Their new offensive coordinator, Jeremy Bates, is unproven and doubling as quarterbacks coach on a staff with a defensive-minded head coach.

"Darnold throws too many interceptions in today's football and had nine fumbles in his [final collegiate season]," an exec said, "so you are starting with teaching him how to take care of the ball, which is harder in the NFL. It's a huge task to get a rookie QB ready -- like raising a child, except a bunch of hostile defenders are trying to stop you. When things are going poorly on third down, [Bates] starts spending more time scripting and [studying] video and less time getting the meeting ready."

Cornerback Trumaine Johnson was the Jets' big signing in free agency. His five-year, $72.5 million deal gives him a $14.5 million average that is second in the NFL, behind that of Josh Norman ($15 million). Johnson ranks fifth among corners, with 10 interceptions the past three seasons (seven in 2015).

"Getting Trumaine Johnson is good for them because now they have two safeties and a starting corner," an exec said. "That will make a significant difference. Quarterback-wise, I think they are in a better situation now than if they would have gotten Kirk Cousins. You give up draft capital [trading up for Darnold], but you help your defense with the savings, and they signed Terrelle Pryor, too. I think that is a smarter way of doing it."


San Francisco 49ers
Grade: B-


The 49ers are known for signing team-friendly contracts. They potentially rang up another one with the deal for cornerback Richard Sherman, but the contracts they've signed for offensive players since Kyle Shanahan became head coach do not fit the mold as neatly. The deals for quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo and running back Jerick McKinnon were examples this offseason.

"The one move that really bothered me was when they extended [Daniel] Kilgore, then went into free agency and decided they wanted Weston Richburg instead," an exec said. "It's not like they got Richburg for a great deal, so the question is, if Richburg was your guy to get, why did you even sign Kilgore? Why wouldn't you just wait? It seemed very impetuous on both sides. It might be good outcome, but that is really bad process."

The five-year, $137.5 deal for Garoppolo appears player-friendly in the short term before shifting into team-friendly mode down the line, provided Garoppolo plays well. One exec thought paying a premium for Garoppolo would have made more sense if the 49ers needed the franchise tag to retain a different player.

"It's really important to have Garoppolo there for camp, and there is a price to pay for that," this exec said. "I don't think it was what they ended up paying."


Indianapolis Colts
Grade: B-


A slow-and-steady approach to roster building has not spared the Colts from turbulence. From Josh McDaniels' about-face to Andrew Luck's continuing shoulder drama to the much more serious news regarding linebacker Edwin Jackson's death on Super Bowl Sunday, this Colts offseason has not gone to plan. What happens is important. How a team handles what happens matters, too.

"The best thing about the McDaniels situation was [GM Chris] Ballard addressing the fans and the city head-on in that press conference," an exec said. "He was direct, he handled it, he made McDaniels the villain and got some pressure off his back. Time will tell if Frank [Reich] is a good coach, but you do get a coordinator who just won a Super Bowl, so I don't think you can beat him up too bad."

Execs liked the Colts' ability to command three second-round picks from the Jets in a move that dropped Indy from third to sixth in the draft order. However, they were divided over Ballard's decision to use the sixth pick for a lower-impact position, despite universally high marks for the guard Indy selected, Quenton Nelson.

"I don't like a guard at six," one exec said. "He won't rush the passer or lock down a receiver. And who will he block in their division? They don't play Aaron Donald. J.J. Watt plays end most of the time. Why put money and premium picks into guards?"

Luck's health is one reason.

"I like the offensive linemen they took, but it's like five years too late," another exec said. "I like what they are doing overall. They are picking well. Let's just wait and find out what is going to happen with Andrew and then decide how we are going to build it. That is wise, taking a long-term approach."


Chicago Bears
Grade: B-


This Bears offseason comes down to whether Matt Nagy is the right choice as head coach. Most execs liked the decision to select Roquan Smith eighth overall, despite some concerns over positional value for a 3-4 inside linebacker that early. They were less thrilled about the offensive skill players Chicago added in free agency. They loved the decision to use the transition tag for cornerback Kyle Fuller despite some questions about the price paid.

"Chicago is a possible 'A' grade for me," an exec said. "Nagy has a good mind, he's a leader, he is gregarious, he is everything you are going to want in a head coach. They brought in players who fit what he wants to do, with the only real bad contract being the Taylor Gabriel one."

The 5-foot-8 Gabriel signed for $6.5 million per year, with $14 million guaranteed. One exec predicted Gabriel will have a harder time producing late in the season as weather and field conditions worsen. He thought Gabriel belonged on a team with an indoor stadium.

"And then on Fuller, a year ago, they were trying to trade him," this exec said. "Now he is worth $14 million? Using the transition tag was brilliant -- it was the only way they were going to sign him -- but teams just don't have financial discipline. They're scared."

One exec said he'd rather be Chicago than Buffalo based on how the teams are set up, but even if the Bears are in a better spot, are they better than fourth in the NFC North this season?

"I don't know if I would jump on the Bears bandwagon so fast," an evaluator said. "The guard situation scares the heck out of me with Kyle Long unsure. You have Allen Robinson coming off injury, Leonard Floyd coming off injury, Kyle Long coming off injury, and then I'm not sure they have the DBs to cover the receivers in that division. I think they are still the fourth team in the NFC North."

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Jacksonville Jaguars
Grade: B-


Re-signing Blake Bortles, breaking the bank for guard Andrew Norwell, casting aside multiple receivers and giving Donte Moncrief way more money than expected will define this Jaguars offseason.

"It's such a great story that they extended the quarterback because when you look at their options, do you really want to sink $17, 18, 19 million into a free agent?" an exec asked. "Do you want to pay Cousins what he got? No. Are you better off drafting one high? Not this year. It's a really good exercise in not getting so aggressive that you screw it up. And after the success they had, they can survive re-signing Bortles politically. You can be excited about other things on the team."

The one-year, $9.6 million deal for Moncrief was not one of them. One exec placed it among the worst deals in recent memory. Another marveled that the deal could wind up giving Indianapolis a 2019 fourth-round compensatory pick.

"I don't know if you go all-in for a guard, although Norwell is a good player," an exec said. "They want to build their team from a physical standpoint, ground and pound. I don't think they got better at receiver, but that is not how they are built, so I get it. I don't think Bortles is going to take them where they want to go, but if you trust the defense and trust the running game, you can only have him be a manager. More power to you. They were damned if you do, damned if you don't."


"Do you want to pay Cousins what he got? No. Are you better off drafting one high? Not this year. It's a really good exercise in not getting so aggressive that you screw it up. And after the success they had, they can survive re-signing Bortles politically. You can be excited about other things on the team." An NFL exec

Atlanta Falcons
Grade: B-


The Falcons didn't need to do anything rash as a team, given that they have one of the NFL's better rosters. They extended quarterback Matt Ryan, had receiver Calvin Ridley fall to them in the draft and arguably did not do enough to replace defensive linemen Dontari Poe and Adrian Clayborn.

"It is not like they have a glaring weakness, but defensive line depth wins Super Bowls, and that is a concern for Atlanta," an exec said. "I think [third-round pick Deadrin] Senat will be a decent rotational piece, but I don't see him as a starter right now. If I am going to beat Atlanta, pound them up the middle, wear them down."

Stability on the coaching staff was one welcome and probably underrated change this offseason compared to 2017.

"Dan Quinn appears invested in [offensive coordinator Steve] Sarkisian, and that could pay off this year," an exec said. "I see them as taking a while to get used to Sarkisian and Sarkisian needing time to get used to the personnel. The continuity will serve them well, and the receiver they got [Ridley] will be a good complement because he played in a pro-style offense with a real particular head coach [Nick Saban] who makes you very much responsible for executing your technique."


New Orleans Saints
Grade: B-


While Minnesota was paying top-of-the-market money for a second- or third-tier quarterback in Cousins, the Saints were getting a hometown discount for Drew Brees. The savings helped them sign linebacker Demario Davis, cornerback Patrick Robinson and safety Kurt Coleman in hopes of further bolstering an improving defense.

"The big question is, with them leveraging next year's first-round pick for [Marcus] Davenport, will that be worth it?" an exec asked. "I don't think so, but we will see."

Davenport joins a defense that ranked in the 54th percentile in ESPN's efficiency metric in 2017. That was only 19th in the NFL, but it was the fourth-best showing for New Orleans in the 12-season Sean Payton era. The Payton/Brees teams have gone 69-27 (.719) in the six seasons when their defenses have finished above the 42nd percentile (the rest of the league has a .554 win rate in those season, an indication of the value Brees and the Saints' offense has added).

"The pieces they added are not game-changers, but they should add to what they have," an exec said.


Pittsburgh Steelers
Grade: B-


The offseason came and went without significant changes to the Steelers' roster. That's a good thing for a contending team that should be strong again in 2018.

Two decisions stand out: firing offensive coordinator Todd Haley after six seasons, and using a third-round pick for potential Ben Roethlisberger successor Mason Rudolph.

"The Tier 1 quarterback often gets to arrange the coaching staff," an exec said. "Whether it's Bruce Arians or Todd Haley or me or you, Ben is coming back against Jacksonville [regardless of play-calling]. That is just how that works. He makes the throws against loaded coverage and slices the ball in with two inches to the back of the end zone either way."

If promoting quarterbacks coach Randy Fichtner into a dual role was seen as a move to appease Roethlisberger, adding another drafted quarterback to the meeting room seemed to agitate the Super Bowl-winning QB. The three quarterbacks on the roster behind Roethlisberger were drafted by Pittsburgh in the third or fourth rounds.

"I thought Mason Rudolph would have been a good value in the second round," an exec said. "I think he was a really good value play for Pittsburgh."


wandler20 fucked around with this message at 15:57 on Jun 6, 2018

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?
Part 2:

quote:

Kansas City Chiefs
Grade: C+


The Chiefs lost horsepower from their coaching staff when Matt Nagy and Brad Childress departed. They subtracted their only proven quarterback when they traded Alex Smith to Washington. They subtracted their most talented defender when they traded Marcus Peters to the Rams. They paid a premium for talented-but-underproducing receiver Sammy Watkins and for linebacker Anthony Hitchens, who might or might not provide three-down value.

Despite all that, the Chiefs are very much looking forward to the Patrick Mahomes era.

"This offseason was all about the offense -- they are going to make Mahomes go and they are going to try to outscore people," an exec said. "I would have wanted to keep Peters, and I don't like having Sammy under contract for $16 million a year when you have Tyreek Hill, who you have developed and who you are about to have to pay a lot of money."

Another exec thought Watkins' signing might actually help the Chiefs with Hill.

"If Tyreek Hill wants Sammy Watkins money, he will need to hit free agency to get it," this exec predicted. "And if he does, the reality is that his market could be limited because he is small and because he came into the league with a lot of baggage. He'll be an ideal franchise-tag candidate, and Watkins is insurance for them. Even with the Watkins deal, they have the cap flexibility long term to sign Tyreek Hill, as well as other guys like Chris Jones and Kendall Fuller."


Green Bay Packers
Grade: C+


Ted Thompson, Dom Capers and Jordy Nelson are out. Brian Gutenkunst, Mike Pettine and Jimmy Graham are in. One constant: Green Bay again loaded up on the secondary in the draft. The Packers have selected a league-high seven defensive backs in the first two rounds of the past four drafts, including two more in 2018 with corners Jaire Alexander and Josh Jackson.

Before the draft, Green Bay was also in the mix for the Bears' Kyle Fuller, signing the free-agent corner to an offer sheet, which Chicago matched.

"They built that Titletown District outside and actually have a sledding hill, but I want to know when they get the top-five pass defense with 26 interceptions after taking all these DBs," an exec said.

The 2011 Packers had 31 interceptions, the highest single-season total for any team in the league since 2006, when Mike McCarthy became head coach. The 2009 Packers had 30, but the 2017 team had only 11, which ranked 20th in the league and matched a McCarthy-era Packers low.

"Green Bay has to take corners because they missed on [Damarious] Randall, they missed on [Quinten] Rollins, they probably missed on the Washington kid last year [Kevin King]," an evaluator said. "It's so important you do not miss on your picks because then you are spinning your tires or, like the Giants, you overpay in free agency."


Tennessee Titans
Grade: C+


The grade is relatively low because the Titans traded up twice in the first two rounds and came away with a league-low four total selections. Rashaan Evans and Harold Landry could become great players (one exec was convinced Bill Belichick would select Evans, a reflection of similarities in approach between Titans GM Jon Robinson and his former boss in New England). Outsmarting the rest of the league at the expense of a baseline number of picks isn't necessarily the way to go, however.

The Titans also hired an especially unproven head coach [Mike Vrabel] who may or may not provide the desired upgrade after the team surprisingly won a playoff game under Mike Mularkey last season. From all appearances, however, Tennessee is better equipped to maximize quarterback Marcus Mariota, a top priority.

"They signed players the GM [Jon Robinson] is familiar with, which is fine, but they are small," an exec said. "They signed a small corner [Malcolm Butler] and a small running back [Dion Lewis], which I am not a big fan of, especially for a team that wants to be a power team. I'm anxious to see if Vrabel is a better head coach than he was a defensive coordinator. It seems like he could be a good leader."

The Titans don't need Butler to be a shutdown corner. They need him to pair well with Logan Ryan, which he has already done when the two were together in New England. The Titans likewise don't need Lewis to become a workhorse back. They need him to combine with Derrick Henry for a 1-2 punch while diversifying the offense with his receiving skills. Lewis has already done that in combination with other backs in New England.

"They are going to have some nice depth in their secondary," an exec said. "I kind of liked the Luke Falk pick, too. He is going to have the ceiling of a two [backup], but I think he has the makeup to be a really good two."


Oakland Raiders
Grade: C+


Bringing back Jon Gruden energized the franchise and its fans, making the Raiders more relevant than they've been in years. The addition of aging, declining free agents such as Jordy Nelson, Leon Hall, Derrick Johnson, Breno Giacomini and Doug Martin wasn't as exciting, although it wasn't arbitrary, either.

"You sign old guys when you're trying to build good culture," an exec said. "They can show the young guys how to practice and eat right and sleep right and respect the coaches. It makes the first year easier. And sometimes those guys are still good enough to win the games for a year or two before they descend."

Another exec noted that the aging players Oakland signed were typically players whose previous teams actively sought to discard them.

"They signed Derrick Johnson, who is done," this exec said. "I wondered what tape they put on that said this guy can still play. The Chiefs loved him. Andy Reid loved him. And they cut him because they knew he had reached that point at age 35 where he had nothing left."


Philadelphia Eagles
Grade: C+


The Eagles lost their offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach after shredding New England's defense in the Super Bowl. They traded away their 2018 first-round pick in a deal that netted Baltimore's 2019 second-rounder. They acquired defensive lineman Michael Bennett and cornerback Daryl Worley, only to release Worley following his arrest on charges that included DUI (they kept Bennett after he surrendered on a felony assault charge and denied wrongdoing).

"Do you think the locker room is better than last year, the same or has gotten worse?" an evaluator asked.

The implication was that adding outsiders such as Bennett and Mike Wallace while subtracting past contributors such as Vinny Curry, Mychal Kendricks and Brent Celek could throw off whatever it was that helped the Eagles claim their first victory in a Super Bowl. But does a Super Bowl champ ever return intact? Personnel challenges almost always await.

"They are trying to be a little bit like New England, tapping the last out of Bennett, the last out of [Haloti] Ngata," an exec said. "You can understand why they got rid of guys on a case-by-case basis, but collectively, I might have wanted to keep the group together another year."


"You can understand why they got rid of guys on a case-by-case basis, but collectively, I might have wanted to keep the group together another year." An NFL exec
Houston Texans
Grade: C+


Head coach Bill O'Brien and former GM Rick Smith fell out of alignment, which makes the hiring of Brian Gaine as Smith's successor a potentially important move for long-term success. The defense could be better off with Romeo Crennel retaking control of playcalling duties. Also on the positive side, an exec said he thought the Texans were probably "doing backflips" after Stanford safety Justin Reid remained available for them in the third round. Adding Tyrann Mathieu on a one-year deal carries the potential for a big payoff.

Unfortunately for the Texans, the quarterback moves they made last offseason -- trading up for Deshaun Watson, giving up on Brock Osweiler -- left the team without any picks until the third round this year. The Texans have glaring holes along the offensive line, which seems problematic with Watson returning from ACL surgery. However, it's not as though quality linemen were readily available through the draft or free agency.

"Let's flip it and look at Cleveland," an exec said. "Cleveland had the exact same needs on the offensive line, with all the resources in the world, and still didn't get it done. Cleveland could have taken [Mike] McGlinchey, and maybe that would have made more sense than taking Denzel Ward. Houston just didn't have the resources, and it will be interesting to see if Watson can stay healthy. If he's getting hit a lot, it makes me nervous."


Buffalo Bills
Grade: C


The Bills sent the 12th, 53rd and 56th picks to Tampa Bay in moving up five spots to select Wyoming quarterback Josh Allen with the seventh overall choice. The 12th choice had cost Buffalo left tackle Cordy Glenn and the 21st pick, among lesser considerations. The 56th pick had cost them No. 1 receiver Sammy Watkins, who had cost the team's previous leadership a bounty back in 2015.

That was a relatively high price to pay for a team that got 51 touchdown passes with 16 interceptions from Tyrod Taylor during the past three seasons (Alex Smith had 60 and 16, for comparison). Execs also questioned the five-year, $50 million price paid for run-stuffer Star Lotulelei, who last season played 344 of the Panthers' 600 pass-defense plays, collecting 1.5 sacks.

"They are a team in transition," an exec said. "They are turning the page and clearing a lot of this stuff out of there to get better. The big piece is that they gave up a lot for Josh Allen."

Allen could wind up providing a massive upgrade for a long time, pushing the Bills past the Patriots in a post-Tom Brady AFC East. Allen was not a universally loved prospect, however.

"The fit is good because Allen is big and strong and it's very windy there, and he can throw the ball through the wind," an exec said. "He is obviously not going to be shocked by poor weather after playing in Laramie, where the average wind can be even higher than it is in Buffalo."


Dallas Cowboys
Grade: C


The Cowboys joined the Bears and Chiefs in the bidding for wide receiver Sammy Watkins. While some execs criticized the price Kansas City paid, I got the feeling they would have felt better about Dallas' offseason more positively had the Cowboys been the ones to close the deal -- especially after tight end Jason Witten retired and top receiver Dez Bryant was released.

"I probably would feel better about Dallas' offseason if they got Watkins, to be honest with you," an exec said, "just because when you've got those young quarterbacks, you'd better try to get them some kind of weapons. Allen Hurns to me is a big slot receiver. He is almost like a tight end. Losing Witten was painful -- just very painful to lose him."

Dak Prescott has ranked among the NFL leaders in QBR on third-and-2 or longer, a proxy for obvious passing situations. Witten was on the field for every one of these plays over the past two seasons. Overall, Prescott ranked fourth in QBR last season, but you'd never know it from watching the Cowboys' offense when Ezekiel Elliott and/or Tyron Smith were unavailable.

"Prescott takes a lot of guff, but his receivers aren't that good," an evaluator said. "Allen Hurns will not be as good as Dez Bryant. He is just cheaper and a name because he caught 60 balls three years ago. He is beat up. He was a slow college free agent, then he got hurt and he's not getting faster."


Cincinnati Bengals
Grade: C


There wasn't much to get excited about in Cincy as the Bengals brought back Marvin Lewis for a 16th season before drafting a center in the first round. They did potentially upgrade their offensive line with Cordy Glenn. They also added a veteran defensive coordinator (Teryl Austin) to replace Paul Guenther. But after losing their arbitration case with quarterback A.J. McCarron, the Bengals lost an alternative to Andy Dalton without getting much in return (they figure to get a late-round comp pick).

"I don't hate Cincinnati's roster," an exec said. "It is just going to come back to the quarterback play. It is the fork in the road for Dalton, isn't it? When you are talking about a quarterback at a breaking point and a lame-duck coach to a certain extent, I never feel like those work out well. They could surprise me because they don't lack talent, but it is more likely that the wheels come off than they go 12-4."

Another exec thought corner William Jackson and running back Joe Mixon were breakout candidates this season.

"Cordy Glenn has to stay healthy," this exec said. "They could be a team that could be in the mix in part because of their division but also because the entire AFC is so weak."


Seattle Seahawks
Grade: C


It's a tough offseason when some of the most accomplished players on the roster depart for various reasons. Cliff Avril, Michael Bennett and Richard Sherman are gone after ranking among the team's top seven defensive players in playing time since 2015. Kam Chancellor, who is also in that group of playing-time leaders, appears headed in the same direction unless a serious neck condition improves.

This doesn't necessarily mean Seattle will be terrible on defense. The team ranked sixth in ESPN's defensive efficiency metric during the final eight games last season, when those players were mostly unavailable. What it comes down to is this: Can the Seahawks develop replacements? They were once as good as anyone in the draft-and-development department, and if that were still the case, they'd get the benefit of the doubt in grading. That has not been the case in recent seasons, which is one of the reasons Seattle has a reconfigured staff featuring two new coordinators.

"Pete Carroll is good at seeing it and knowing when to make change," an exec said. "That is what he has done this offseason. I wouldn't underestimate them this year."

The plan is for changes at running back, tight end and on the coaching staff to fuel an improved ground game that balances out the offense and returns Seattle to some of its old identity. But the team had limited resources to fill roster holes after trading its 2018 second-round choice to the Jets for Sheldon Richardson. That move appeared worse when Richardson accepted a deal with Minnesota that was not substantive enough to alter the comp-pick equation. Seattle will now have Malik McDowell and one season of Richardson to show for its last two second-round choices, with its 2019 second-rounder already having been shipped to Houston in the Duane Brown deal.

"They did all that wondrous stuff years ago with a semi-generational defense when they had the good quarterback making $750,000 a year," an exec said. "That is not happening anymore. They have a good program. Pete knows what he's doing. You just can't compare them to those Super Bowl days because half the team is different and the quarterback has a $24 million cap number this year. They are just like everyone else now, scrumming around trying to win 10 games."


New York Giants
Grade: C


What would you do if you held the second pick in the 2018 draft, but did not like the quarterbacks available better than the ones already on your roster? Would you select one of the quarterbacks anyway, in the name of positional value? Perhaps you would have taken the top pass-rusher, Bradley Chubb. The Giants went with running back Saquon Barkley, and heard about it from critics who thought the team missed a golden opportunity to find Eli Manning's successor.

"I actually think they like Davis Webb quite a bit," an exec said, "and they probably weren't sold on the top four quarterbacks. So they said, 'Let's try to win now, and let this kid [Webb] try to develop and see if we are right about him.'"

The danger is that the Giants might be bad enough in 2018 to miss the playoffs but good enough to miss out on a 2019 draft choice early enough to target a quarterback. That would be problematic if Webb or 2018 fourth-rounder Kyle Lauletta are not viable replacement options for Manning.

The Giants are one of three teams, along with Pittsburgh and Cleveland, to select a quarterback in the first four rounds in each of the past two drafts. Hall of Fame GM Ron Wolf, famous for repeatedly drafting quarterbacks in Green Bay even when the team was set with Brett Favre as its starter, selected only one passer in the first four rounds (Aaron Brooks, 1999) during his 10 drafts with the team.

"Yeah, but the Giants don't have Brett Favre, they have Eli Manning," an exec countered. "How are you going to be able to get a quarterback in the future? I think if they had engaged the Jets and gotten the three second-round picks to move down, that would have been the smarter move rather than drafting Barkley. I don't know if that was an option, but imagine instead of getting Barkley, they end up with Quenton Nelson, Nick Chubb and John Hernandez. I would trade Saquon Barkley right now for Nelson, [Nick] Chubb and a second."

The Giants' grade suffered further based on their decision to make Nate Solder the highest-paid offensive lineman in the league. Yes, they needed a left tackle. Is Solder above average? There were also questions over whether Pat Shurmur was better suited as a coordinator than as a head coach.


Miami Dolphins
Grade: C-


Jarvis Landry, Ndamukong Suh and Mike Pouncey are playing elsewhere in 2018. Is that good for the Dolphins? Most execs saw a team that suffered a net loss of talent even if each move made some sense for various reasons. The release of Suh was an admission that signing him to a six-year, $114 million deal in 2015 was a bad decision, affirming widespread criticisms of the deal at the time it was made. Execs said the Dolphins have been a team that made moves with the short term in mind, and that their moves this offseason were not easy to read.

"They cut Suh to save a ton of cash and cap room, and then they used that money to sign two slot receivers [Albert Wilson, Danny Amendola] and an old guard [31-year-old Josh Sitton]," an exec said. "They traded for a pass-rusher [Robert Quinn] whose best years are well behind him, and then they drafted Minkah Fitzpatrick at 11 after paying two safeties on their roster, in Reshad Jones and T.J. McDonald. It's a good thing the Browns were willing to trade for Landry, because when he signed the tag, they could have been screwed."

It looks like the Dolphins are continuing to make moves designed to change the organizational culture. They cut multiple offensive linemen during the 2016 season, sparking a surge in the run game. They traded running back Jay Ajayi during the 2017 season. Is 2018 the year they get the locker room calibrated to their liking? Will it show on the field?

"I'm not sure what is going to happen there," an exec said.


Detroit Lions
Grade: D


The Lions hired Matt Patricia as their head coach without knowing he had been indicted on serious criminal charges two decades ago. The case never went to trial. Patricia forcefully denied wrongdoing and said he was being targeted unfairly. The bottom line is that the public records were readily available to the Lions or anyone else researching candidates. Detroit should have been more thorough in its process. That lapse knocks down the Lions' offseason grade.

"On the field, one piece that was a positive for them is they will have more of an emphasis on getting their running game going," an exec said, alluding to the additions of LeGarrette Blount, Kerryon Johnson and first-round center/guard Frank Ragnow. "I do not know how consistent it is going to be, and then I have no idea what their defense is going to look like with the changeover and the pieces they have. This is another team in flux. [Matthew] Stafford will give them a chance every Sunday, but offseason-move-wise, I do not feel like they got better."


Carolina Panthers
Grade: D


News stories regarding team owner Jerry Richardson's allegedly repulsive behavior toward female and minority employees compelled him to sell the team. That's a bad offseason. The future could be much better.

"You could say it's smart they sold the team to a guy [David Tepper] who was with the Pittsburgh Steelers and was around one of the best ownership groups," an exec said. "If they settled on a billionaire who was never with a team, I would be very worried."

The Panthers' football-related moves were more conventional.

Can new offensive coordinator Norv Turner and his quarterback-coaching son Scott get Cam Newton back on track? The Panthers have ranked 11th in QBR since Newton arrived, up from 31st in the five seasons before he joined the team. However, they ranked only 27th in 2016 and 23rd last season. Coordinator Mike Shula and quarterbacks coach Ken Dorsey lost their jobs in the fallout.

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that Cam's footwork and technique have gotten worse," an evaluator said. "Did the message get old? Was it the coaches' fault? I don't know."

An exec said he thought the Panthers were a boom-or-bust team.

"If Norv tries to do what he did in Minnesota, he could expose Cam," this exec said. "You cannot just make him a quick seven-step-drop guy. You have to play to his strengths. Norv would like to be a two-back guy as much as possible, which is not a bad thing with Cam because of all the run action and so forth, but you need to give him some one-back stuff where he can run and make some plays."

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
Robert Quinn literally just had 8.5 sacks and he’s 28 lol

waah
Jun 20, 2011

Better stay in line when
You see a Pavel like me shinin

Isn't it a thing where the worst graded team on these dumb things end up having really good seasons?

If so I'm real happy.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


I don't follow other teams closely enough to know if it holds up for them as well, but the Packers blurb has zero insight and no real justification for assigning it an arbitrary grade. What a worthless article.

A Man and his dog
Oct 24, 2013

by R. Guyovich
He gave the Redmen a B and praised Alex Smith.

We going 6-10.

weird Asian candy
Aug 23, 2005

Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

SKULL.GIF posted:

I don't follow other teams closely enough to know if it holds up for them as well, but the Packers blurb has zero insight and no real justification for assigning it an arbitrary grade. What a worthless article.

And to think people pay money for these "insider" articles!

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Same with the Pats. Like yeah, the McCourty and RT from San Fran were good trades, but replacing a dependable left tackle with a rookie guard is worrying, losing Butler when the replacements are clearly not up to the task, replacing Dion Lewis with a 1st round RB with bad knees is a baffling use of resources and Amendola with nothing is ehhh, whatever, but they're relying on an aging Edelman to come back at most of what he was and a front seven that's mediocre when healthy got no help.

Not really sure why that's an A-, other then the Pats will probably win 12 games anyway, so *shrug*.

Amy Pole Her
Jun 17, 2002
They’ve earned the benefit of the doubt but i mean the author was obviously never told dont speak out of both sides of your mouth.

For instance authors saying Cleveland overpaid for Landry but others are saying Miami should’ve kept Landry

Pick one!

hifi
Jul 25, 2012

the cardinals maybe got worse and they also got a b+

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!
People are still pushing that Allen was a better prospect than Rosen. drat

wandler20
Nov 13, 2002

How many Championships?

weird Asian candy posted:

And to think people pay money for these "insider" articles!

Fortunately, you don't have to: http://insider2text.xyz/

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

Ches Neckbeard posted:

People are still pushing that Allen was a better prospect than Rosen. drat

"The fit is good because Allen is big and strong and it's very windy there, and he can throw the ball through the wind,"

weird Asian candy
Aug 23, 2005

Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

wandler20 posted:

Fortunately, you don't have to: http://insider2text.xyz/

No poo poo...this works? Good lookin' out!

Not that I really care enough about these articles to go the (1) extra step but...good to know...

GobiasIndustries
Dec 14, 2007

Lipstick Apathy
Things are going really well for the NFL, it seems
https://twitter.com/KatieHnida/status/1004075468872511489

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

I want my players standing for the anthem and beating their old lady :911:

FizFashizzle
Mar 30, 2005







The Panthers are going to suck this year.

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ADBOT LOVES YOU

latinotwink1997
Jan 2, 2008

Taste my Ball of Hope, foul dragon!


fsif posted:

"The fit is good because Allen is big and strong and it's very windy there, and he can throw the ball through the wind,"

I was gonna quote that same thing. They literally can’t find any good qualities besides “throwing in the wind.” Jfc

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