fast cars loose anus posted:

they slay the ladies

Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

like, school shooting style?

La Brea Carpet posted:

It's the only way they'll ever penetrate a woman.

La Brea Carpet posted:

It's the only way they'll ever penetrate a woman.

La Brea Carpet posted:

It's the only way they'll ever penetrate a woman.

La Brea Carpet posted:

It's the only way they'll ever penetrate a woman.

Nothus posted:

And that's where we got the term "posting" from.

Kitfox88 posted:

who the gently caress is scraeming "FALL OFF" at my pillar. show yourself, coward. i will never fall off

cock hero flux posted:

i made exactly this joke in a different thread before, i'm counting this as a quote of me

La Brea Carpet posted:

It's the only way they'll ever penetrate a woman.

fool_of_sound posted:

Kitfox88 posted:

who the gently caress is scraeming "FALL OFF" at my pillar. show yourself, coward. i will never fall off

VictorianQueerLit posted:

Picnic Princess posted:

I knew a kid who claimed he was wrongly identified as a suspect by a cop, so he kicked the cop in the shin and the cop let him go.

And by kid I mean 17 years old. He was the same guy who asked me for a hug one night then wouldn't let me go and that I should dump my boyfriend for him instead.

naem posted:

I'm going to once again defend hr by saying that they deal with employees at their absolute worst all day every day, yet have to always have a sunny smile and happy tone of voice. They become bitter, broken people, like grizzled police detectives, only instead of doing shots in a dive bar they put up birthday decorations for the party planning committee

Hamilcar posted:

My long lost sibling, I have found you at last!

Samovar posted:

Ah, the long-awaited open-faced knuckle sandwich.

WrenP-Complete posted:

What did you say you were? Gemini?

quote:

Gemini: Hands of the Twins

On the Vitruvian man diagram, Geminis are embodied by the arms, forearms, and hands. Astrologer Rebecca Gordon explains that for Geminis, “their goal is communication, to serve as a messenger of an illuminated mind.” Pain or tightness in the hands and fingers may occur more often for this star sign.

Here's mine

quote:

Libra: The Lower Back

Libras are incredibly giving and may put others’ well-being over their own. This “bending over backward” trait can manifest in lower back pains or what astrologer Rebecca Gordon calls “the body’s metaphor for not being able to stand up straight and focus on self-care.”

I have ankylosing spondylitis and literally am slowly losing sensation in my lower back. I especially don't have lower back pain.

Serious Cephalopod posted:

Oh man I'm a libra, too. I thought the lower back pain was because of my period and rockin' titties but I guess it's my inability to stand up for myself! Wow!

LunarShadow posted:

And I thought it was my scoliosis, kyphosis, and disk degeneration. Guess I should grow a back bone (god I wish I could replace my spine with one that didn't look like a silly straw)

Discendo Vox posted:

This convenience sample of n=3 has persuaded me that all Libras have spinal ailments. Another victory for Evidence Based Medicine!

Who wants to be my co-author

Munin posted:

I'm a cancer with back pain. Did my mother lie to me about my birthdate?

SENSUAL DAD KISS posted:

Yes, sorry you found out like this. Also I'm your real dad.

aphid_licker posted:

Sorry Numenor, if you liked it you should've put a ring on it

Cubone posted:

I think after Simple Plan's "Untitled" there was just nowhere else to go
we made fun of In the End, Crawling, and Beautiful, but there were still enough people that those songs spoke to unironically that we snarky shitheads were a vocal, Beavis & Buttheadesque minority

but Untitled? Untitled was undeniable. Untitled is what dumb, vague, narcissistic self-woe sounds like, distilled into a plaintive, wailing moan. even the band themselves seemed to realize this, seemingly wishing to avoid the embarrassment of actually releasing a song called "How Could This Happen to Me?"
there was no topping that. My Chemical Romance may have tried, but their angst came repackaged in sweepingly epic wankery in Welcome to the Black Parade, and allusive calls to purpose in the amazingly titled "Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)"

today's teens have never known a world where "Untitled" wasn't an internationally recognized punchline to narcissistic teen angst, so, self-conscious by necessity, they express the misery and isolation of adolescence in other ways, notably by saying "I want to die." seriously if you ever have call to be in proximity of gen z I think you will find they say they want to die a lot. they don't really mean it mean it, but they mean it like how we meant "gently caress this gay earth" or when the official wendy's twitter account tweets "im a sloppy fat garbage bitch" and gets ten thousand likes

rodbeard posted:

I remember back in Myspace's heyday someone put their suicide note on their Myspace profile and had "untitled" set to autoplay.

Sex Hobbit posted:

I just had an enormous flashback, was that the one that got turned into a YTMND?

this broken hill posted:

i'm losing my poo poo remembering a simple plan, omg

i was fourteen

it was the kingdom hearts years

china bot posted:

you were...just a kid

china bot posted:

you were...just a kid

Solice Kirsk posted:

Wasn't that the one with the slide show of all the slit wrists and then everyone starting using the song for like dropping a burger or goldfish dying and stuff? YTMND sure had some times.

bEatmstrJ posted:

Call it semantics if you want, but I'd like to clear something up.

Many of you are asking how the "mistake" was "fixed", or some variant. The short version is: there was no mistake to fix.

Now I will preface by saying that I was very naive in my understanding of joist physics and the potential dangers I imparted upon my home by cutting them. Although much of the feedback from this forum was not constructive in the least, I won't deny that without the concern of many of you, my project might have had a much less safe ending for me or my future home buyers. So for that, I thank you.

That being said, unless my rudimentary understanding of science is completely flawed, if you want to put something in the ground, you have to dig a hole. As far as I know, there's no way around that. If, in the process of digging that hole I happen to break a gas line, well, that's a mistake that needs to be fixed. But alas, no gas lines were broken.

My design called for a sunken bathtub and that's what I got. Whether it was me or the contractor, those joists were getting cut regardless, so really I just saved them some time (naively).

You can all rest assured that my design was executed appropriately by a licensed contractor, who worked with a structural engineer to develop a solution to fit my goal. The city inspector then came by and signed off on it.

The joists are still just as cut as they were a year ago.

WrenP-Complete posted:

CannonFodder posted:

I learned to hover over links to see where it goes before clicking loooooong ago, when good old goatse could be behind any link.

Hello Goatse my old friend
You've graced my retinas again
Your greasy knuckles reveal everything
Your deepest insides and your wedding ring
And the words of the faithful shout as one chorus through the land
"What is that man
Doing to
His anus?"

Absurd Alhazred posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite (or Request): Coldly Compiled Lists > Funny Forums Quotes: Sunk the tub....in the biblical sense.

this broken hill posted:

i'm losing my poo poo remembering a simple plan, omg

i was fourteen

it was the kingdom hearts years

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Zamboni_Rodeo posted:

Yeah, so is that hot dog.


Edit:

Urban Dictionary killin' it with the banner ads.

Parahexavoctal posted:

Normally I wouldn't fuss about design elements that include two columns of four rounded pink rectangles each, superimposed on an isometric projection of a globe, but in this context....

AMISH FRIED PIES posted:

in this context they forgot the ring

Barudak posted:

Your goal is to trick one of this idiots into marrying you.

My first ever direct report, a fresh from college 21 year old, showed up to the first day on the job in a customized BMW the BMW logo was pink instead of blue ontop of its many other features, and she promptly told me that she would need to take fridays off for the next few weeks as the Polo world cup was on and she had a horse participating in it that she wanted to cheer on. She left after about two weeks to a job in New York as some regional TV manager or something for Fox pulling north of 200k because her uncle was on the board. Lock that kind of a woman down and even in the divorce you'll never work again.

exquisite tea posted:

No joke one time I was walking with my girlfriend to the Flatbush Ave train station and we some some dude run over a rat on the sidewalk, flipping his bike over. After a second the rat just shook himself off and kept walking.

oddium posted:

did you exchange insurance info